Fighting Chance

Summary: Several months after Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant, Chakotay's anthropological mission to the planet Valona goes awry, leaving him stranded and struggling to survive long enough for Starfleet to rescue him. Chakotay/Janeway romance

Rating: Some mature themes, but nothing explicit

Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, adventure, angst, romance, post-Endgame, post series finale

Author's note: Well here you go, a little story to take your mind off things in these troubling times. The story is complete and has six chapters, so I will be posting an installment every few days. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and its characters are the property of CBS Paramount, this is for entertainment only, no infringement intended!

Chapter 1

"Chakotay. Chakotay, wake up."

A voice. Muffled. Seeping through the numbness of his mind, worming its way into his consciousness. There was something familiar about it, and about the tone. It brooked no discussion. It made him want to obey and wake up. But another part of him didn't want to. It liked the numbness that had come with oblivion.

"Chakotay. You have to wake up."

Kathryn.

Chakotay recognized her voice almost at the exact moment he became aware of everything else: his skull pounding with a steady and painful beat, his breath hitching in his ribcage every time he inhaled, the coldness of the air on the skin of his face, the numbness of his hands. The acute pain in his side was almost unbearable, so he held his breath for a few extra seconds. Something halfway between a whimper and a grunt of pain escaped his lips when he tried inhaling again.

Chakotay forced his eyes to open. Everything was dark, but after a brief moment of panic, he realized that he wasn't blind – it wasjust dark. Suddenly there was a figure leaning over him. He couldn't quite see her features, but he'd recognize her anywhere. He frowned in confusion.

"Kathryn," he croaked through clenched teeth. His tongue felt like sand paper. Tasted like it too. "I don't understand, what-"

"I know you're confused, but we have to go, now."

It didn't make sense – something felt out place. Yet he couldn't quite remember what or why. The information was there, he knew it, if only he could focus and stop that hammering inside his skull. He hitched in a painful breath again as he closed his eyes in a feeble attempt to shake away the haziness in his mind. "What?"

"We can't stay here! You have to get up."

He could now feel the hard ground he was lying on, sharp rocks and twigs digging into his back. The air smelled of evergreens, decayed vegetation and sand. When he opened his eyes again, Kathryn's silhouette was still in shadows, but the sharp pains all over his body were crystal clear. Broken ribs. Bruised knee. And obviously he'd hit his head. He gingerly raised fingers numb with cold to touch his temple, and when he pulled them back they were covered with a slick substance. Blood. He pushed himself up and his breath puffed against the cold when the grunt of pain passed his lips.

He took a second to try and get his bearings, and looked around. They were surrounded by a thin forest. It was night, but there was enough moonlight (from two moons) coming through the trees to illuminate their surroundings. They were at the base of a rocky cliff – had he fallen off the edge? It certainly felt like he had. The scenery looked vaguely familiar, but the recognition was fleeting. Where the hell were they?

"Kathryn," he rasped again, "what happened?" Of its own volition, his body started shaking to warm itself, making his teeth clatter together. Chakotay closed and opened his fist a couple of times in a feeble attempt to shake away the numbness.

"It'll have to wait. Come on."

The urgency in her voice truly registered this time, despite the clouds that refused to part in his head, and he noticed her looking around nervously, all senses on alert, as if watching out for something. Or someone. He didn't know what was going on – it was on the tip of his brain, but it slipped every time he tried to catch the memory. One thing he did know: he trusted Kathryn implicitly. Clearly she knew what was going on, she'd help him through this.

"Alright," he breathed out, his hand going to rest against his side, as if it would help contain the pain. He closed his eyes when the world started spinning, and when he opened his eyes again he was up on his feet, dizzy and nauseous, head pounding. But he was up on his feet. Chakotay took a second to catch his breath and test his legs. His feet were numb with cold and his knee hurt, but he could walk.

Kathryn now stood a few feet from him, her body tense, her eyes on her tricorder. She encouraged him to follow her with a head nod, and all he could do was comply, trusting that she'd bring him to safety.

Chakotay noticed almost nothing of his surroundings as he followed her along a path parallel to the cliff. They spoke very little as they trudged through the rough terrain and undergrowth – well, he trudged and she walked. His shivering had stopped at some point, his body warming up with the effort of walking, but the pain in his head and his side didn't show any signs of abating, in fact it was getting worse. It made every step he took excruciating and every breath like fire in his side. And his thinking was too slow, clearly something was very wrong with him.

At some point he glanced up, and it registered that the sky was slowly getting lighter.

Kathryn stopped walking and turned to face him. "It's almost daytime, we're running out of time. Let's find shelter, a spot where they won't find us."

He still couldn't recall what or who exactly they were running from, and he was too focused on breathing to ask. He figured she'd tell him if he needed to know, so he nodded his consent.

She raised her tricorder again and swiveled around a couple of times. A muffled voice in his head wondered if the cliffs had caves. At the same moment, Kathryn's tricorder beeped and she shot him a smile – the kind of smile that had never, never, failed to make his heart skip a beat.

"Looks like we're in luck. This way," she told him, still smiling triumphantly.

Her eagerness was contagious, and though Chakotay could barely afford a smile, something inside of him warmed at the all too familiar expression. "How far, do you think?" He gasped more than whispered, his breathing getting too ragged for his liking. He stumbled over a root and he fell hard on his knees, the shock of him hitting the ground sending ripples of agonizing pain through him. He cursed.

Kathryn was suddenly crouching in front of him, her expression torn with concern, her eyes pleading with him to keep going.

"Don't give up now. We both know the Valiq won't stop until they find you again. I won't let that happen, Chakotay."

Chakotay met her eyes again, her words nudging something loose in his memories. The Valiq. Yes. He'd been sent to assess whether they were good candidates for first contact. But what had gone wrong? Why were they after them now?

He shook the thoughts away, focusing on his breathing instead and doing his utmost not to retch. He braced himself, then pushed himself up slowly.

"Good man. Not long now. Just hold on a while longer, Chakotay."

He had never wanted anything so badly than to please her, but he was starting to worry that his body might not let him this time. He had preferred the cold numbness to this fire that seemed to want to consume him whole, starting with his side and lungs. But he pushed on.

Chakotay lost track of time as painful seconds turned into agonizing minutes. He focused on putting one foot in front of the other, and not losing sight of Kathryn ahead – she seemed unharmed and unaffected by the cold, so Chakotay struggled to keep up. When his legs shook with effort and his breathing became so shallow he thought he would pass out any second, he looked up just as Kathryn smiled over her shoulder and pointed toward a crack in the cliff. From the distance it looked too narrow for anyone to slip through, but as they approached, Chakotay realized that it was large enough for one person to go through at a time.

Though not exactly sure why, he somehow knew that beyond this narrow entrance was a wider cave. And he knew that they would be safe there for the time being.

Just as they were approaching the crevasse, Chakotay's muddled brain picked up shouts in the distance. The sound kindled an instinctual surge of panic in his chest – he exchanged an anxious glance with Kathryn before they started moving again. Chakotay traipsed behind her as fast as he could, making sure to erase any footprints they might have left behind. Once inside, he immediately recognized his surroundings. It was almost like a déjà-vu – like he knew this place but without knowing from where or when.

"I've been here before, haven't I?" He croaked as they both fumbled through the semi-darkness of the cave. The first rays of daylight were seeping through a couple of cracks in the back of the cave, just allowing them to see where they were going.

"Apparently," she said as pointed at the Starfleet-issued gear scattered around the cave –provisions, tricorders and other pieces of equipment. At the center there was a small bundle of rocks, which someone had likely used as heat radiators.

Chakotay walked in and, after letting himself drop as gracefully and as painlessly as he could (he failed at both) next to the small heating ring, he searched through one of the bags. He let out a raspy triumphant chuckle when he found a phaser.

Kathryn grinned. "Well, congratulations are in order, Professor Chakotay!"

He would have smiled in response if her words and expression hadn't triggered something in his memory again. Professor. For a millisecond the dark cave around Kathryn disappeared and shifted into something else – she was standing in her office, smiling proudly at him. But there was a hint of melancholy in that smile too. Well, congratulations are in order, Professor Chakotay! The memory vanished as quickly as it had appeared and Chakotay frowned as he busied himself with heating the rocks with the phaser so that they would diffuse warmth.

Once that was done, he started fumbling through the gear for a medkit, but all he could find was a hypospray and multiple doses of painkillers. It wouldn't fix what was wrong with him, but it might help with the pain enough for him to finally clear his mind and figure out a plan.

Meanwhile Kathryn walked around their rocky shelter, at once exploring and making sure they were safe. She stood by the entrance for a while, listening. But the shouts had stopped.

"Kathryn, what's going on? What are we doing here?" Chakotay asked at last. He could breathe a little easier now, thanks to the pain killers he had injected himself with. The pounding in his head dulled to a constant throbbing. With the pain fading and the heat coming off of the rocks, he suddenly felt drowsy. He lied down and closed his eyes. Just for a minute.

"The Valiq had you prisoner. You escaped," she replied, her voice sounding far away.

Right. But… "How? Why? I can't remember anything," Chakotay said, frustrated and scared in equal measure. Why couldn't he remember anything?

"I know." Her voice was closer now, quieter. When Chakotay opened his eyes she was leaning over him again and smiling softly down at him. Her hand came to rest on his chest. "You're safe here. Sleep. Everything will be clearer when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere."

Chakotay let his eyes close, his hand reaching to take hers and hold on. As if somehow he knew – or remembered – that their return to the Alpha Quadrant had in fact meant the opposite.

oooOooo

Chakotay was dreaming.

He was running through unfamiliar woods as if the hounds of hell were at his heels. His lungs were on fire, and so were his legs, but he refused to stop. Cadets Martinez and Crawford, wearing Valiquan tunics and overcoats, were running ahead with Lieutenant Ayala. He could tell that they were tiring too, tripping over roots and breathing hard. The gravity on this planet was slightly higher than Earth's, and Chakotay could feel the extra g-force weighing him down. It wasn't much, but just enough to make it feel as though he were carrying more weight than usual.

"Come on, we're almost there!" His dream-self shouted, urging his team forward. He could hear shouts of angry voices from behind them, surrounding them.

He heard the energy blast right before it hit a tree five feet to his left, scattering bits of mulch everywhere. Chakotay ducked instinctively, protecting his head, but he still found himself covered in debris and dirt. He cursed under his breath when he started running again – the ducking had cost them all way too many precious seconds.

More energy blasts exploded all around them as they ran, jumping over roots and ducking under branches. He checked his tricorder again – about a 200 meters and they'd be safely back in the shuttle.

Ahead of him, he heard Ayala send a distress call to the Einstein, requesting support as soon as the ship was within range. Chakotay didn't hear a response, but he wasn't surprised, given the communication interferences on this planet. Martinez tripped just as an energy blast blew up to their right. On instinct, Chakotay covered her body with his own and chanced to look behind.

The Valiq were closing in. Cursing, Ayala rushed back to help Martinez up, and they started running again. "Sir, come on!" Crawford called over his shoulder when he saw Chakotay wasn't following.

Chakotay could now see faces through the trees and the numbers of explosions around them intensified. They were closing in. "Go! Go! I'll cover you!" He urged the team to keep going, while his other hand searched for his phaser. He cursed when he remembered he'd left it in the cave with the rest of their gear. This had been supposed to be an observation mission, not anything like this!

Bracing himself, he sprang up and started running again. He knew that he probably wouldn't be able to catch up with the others in time, so instead he went in a different direction, hoping to lead the Valiq away from his team and the shuttle – just long enough to give them a chance to escape and get help. He ran for about a fifty meters before he heard the blast – and then felt it hit his side in a mix of searing heat and pain.

Chakotay woke up with a start, heart drumming in his chest, his body drenched in feverish sweat.

The dream had felt so real – he could still feel the blast and smell the putrid scent of charred skin. With shaking hands, he pulled his Valiquan tunic up. There was no evidence of weapon's fire, but his ribcage was bruised a toxic mix of yellows and purples.

What did that mean? Had he really been shot? Had his subconscious shown him actual memories? It must have been – it explained so much, and somehow, his instinct told him this had been an actual memory. But given the energy released by those weapons, if he'd been hit... he should be dead. Had he been healed, somehow? Whatever the case, he could only hope that the dream meant Ayala had actually gotten the cadets to safety and had gotten help from Starfleet. That would certainly explain how Kathryn had found him. But why would she come all this way to rescue him? Despite his muddled senses, a part of him remembered this it wasn't her job anymore.

All this thinking made his head hurt.

The pain had returned in both his side and his head, so he injected himself with another dose of pain killers. Then he dropped himself back down onto his back, panting with pain and the effort. Why couldn't he think straight yet? Had he been drugged? Or was this the result of some more serious damage to his brain?

Kathryn might know.

Chakotay forced his eyes to open again and he lifted his head just high enough to look for her around the cave. There was no sign of her, and before Chakotay could wonder where she had gone, he passed out again.

oooOooo

When Chakotay next woke up, the heated rocks had turned cold again, and no light shone through the cracks in the roof of the cave, indicating that daytime had come and gone. He fumbled to inject himself with another dose of painkillers before carefully sitting up. His head spun. Closing his eyes against the dizziness, he fumbled though his bag and found some water and rations, including some of the local fresh fruits he liked. He felt nauseous, but he knew he had to stay hydrated. He heated the rocks again before taking a couple of small sips of water, and bit into one of the yellow fruits. It was juicy and sweet, just what his body needed.

That's when Kathryn returned. She looked well-rested and unaffected by the situation, and she smiled when she saw he was up. "You're awake, good."

He offered her a bite from the fruit but she declined. She threw him an arch look. "What I wouldn't give for coffee though! Coffee! The finest organic suspension ever devised. It's got me through the worst of it. I beat the Borg with it!"

Chakotay blinked, and for a moment he found himself in Kathryn's ready room aboard Voyager. When he blinked again the memory was gone, and Kathryn was looking at him with concern. "I've been thinking. I think we should stay here until someone comes for us."

Chakotay frowned as he took another small bite. Even chewing made his head hurt. "I thought you were my rescue party."

He touched the tender spot on his head again. It was still sore, but at least the bleeding had stopped. He was still concerned about the possibility of having a concussion, but there wasn't much he could do about that without a more complete medkit or even a medical tricorder.

She smiled indulgently. "Oh no, I'm just here for moral support."

He pulled one of the pants up his leg to check on his knee. It was slightly swollen but –

Suddenly her words registered. He looked up at her in confusion. "I don't understand."

She leaned closer, eager. As if he'd just figured out the solution to a problem she had presented him with. "Think, Chakotay, why else would I be here?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head – he was in no mood for mind games. "Kathryn, what are you talking about?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm not real, Chakotay."

A chill ran down his spine.

What the hell was she talking about? She had led him here, she had found the cave… She had… Hadn't she? He glanced around. The feeling of nausea spiked when he realized that there was no evidence that she had ever truly been here – her feet didn't leave imprints in the sand where she walked, and she looked exactly as he'd always seen her on Voyager: mischievous, hair carefully styled, no trace of her even feeling how cold it was, and no evidence of physical exhaustion. This, he realized,was what had been nagging at him since he'd woken up and found her leaning over him. She shouldn't be here. But if she wasn't his Kathryn, then…

He reached for his phaser and pointed it at her. "Who are you?"

Her expression turned indulgent at the way his arm shook, but he detected a hint of frustration, too. "I'm only here to help you off this planet. Chakotay, you have to trust me."

Chakotay blinked, head spinning. "Trust you? For all I know you're the one who's been drugging me all this time! Now answer me, who the hell are you?"

Her calm expression didn't budge. "Chakotay, we've been through too much to stop trusting each other."

Those words rang familiar, and a memory of him sitting at her captain's table as she said those words, her face illuminated by candlelight, flashed through his brain. "Stop it!" Ignoring the pain that shot through every part of his body, he moved as quickly as he could to grab her by the arms. She felt real enough, but maybe his senses were so muddled that he only thought she felt real…? He grunted as he leaned closer. "Tell me who you are and what you want from me!" He panted, her face close to his. God, whomever she was, she even smelled like Kathryn.

Her expression didn't change but Chakotay could tell she wasn't impressed by his attempt at intimidation. Exactly what he would have expected from Kathryn Janeway. "I'm in your head, Chakotay. A hallucination. If you don't know why you've brought me here, then no one does."

Chakotay looked into her eyes, searching for any signs of deception, but all he could see was her. His eyes moved down to the pips at her collar – there were four of them instead of the five she'd worn for the last few months. He released her arms and stumbled back, shaking. His head spun and cold sweat beaded on his forehead.

"Stop wasting your energy on me, Chakotay. You have a fever," she pointed out with genuine concern.

Chakotay nodded as he rested his hand on the cave wall to keep from keeling over. "I know."

It didn't even occur to him not to reply or to ignore her. He didn't know what to think or what to believe, but at that precise moment he stopped caring. Whomever or whatever she was, so far she hadn't led him astray – at least as far as he could fathom. And he had other fish to fry.

"So what's the plan?" She asked as she walked closer again, hands on her hips, her determined expression all too familiar.

"I have to get out of here. Off this planet."

"That's right," she agreed and Chakotay would have smiled if he weren't in such pain, or so confused by the situation.

"Two minutes ago you suggested we stay put," he replied cynically as he holstered the phaser inside his tunic and wandered around the cave to make a mental inventory of what he would need to take with him.

"I've changed my mind," she drawled. Damn him ifshe didn't sound just like Kathryn.

"The way I see it," he said out loud, trying to focus, as if speaking would help him clear his thoughts, "there are two things I need if I'm going to make it: medical supplies, and a way to make contact with Starfleet."

"Why can't you use your combadge?"

Chakotay paused, his hand going to his chest out of habit – there was nothing there but the thick woolen fabric of his tunic. He could now remember having his Starfleet combadge in his inside pocket when he and his team had made a run for the shuttle… had he somehow lost it in the pursuit? Had the Valiq taken it from him when they'd taken him prisoner? Whatever the case, it would be of no use to him unless he could find it again. And there was little chance of that – so he'd have to find another way.

Kathryn pursed her lips. "For what it's worth, you should start with the medical supplies. You've looked better, Chakotay."

"You're probably right, but I can't risk getting caught again. I don't think I could survive another blast of those weapons – and besides, I'm still operating under the Prime Directive. I don't know if – or how much – they got out of me before I escaped, I can't risk causing any more damage than I already have."

He grabbed the tricorder from a bag and searched through the last recorded data. Kathryn moved closer to look over his shoulder.

"I think… Before we landed nearby," he explained, only vaguely aware that if she were telling the truth, he was talking to himself, "we scanned for settlements to avoid detection. There was a small town a couple of kilometers from where we hid the shuttle. The tricorder recorded the coordinates. Maybe I can find a way of communicating with Starfleet there. The Valiq should have the necessary technology to send some kind of signal."

"That's as good a place to start as any!" Imaginary-Kathryn exclaimed eagerly, patting his shoulder. Her tone was teasing, and somewhat too light-hearted for the moment. This was the Kathryn Janeway that had always drawn him in; the lively, curious, teasing, Kathryn that had owned his heart for years. If this was his subconscious telling him he'd made a mistake by trying to move on…!

He resolutely shook the thought away as he resumed his preparations.

oooOooo

To be continued…