His words trailed off as he looked into her eyes. "But you still haven't told me what you think. You have shared my adventures in the Tardis for a while now. Are you willing to give them up Rose?" She thought for a moment, but it was no contest. Alone together on some distant world would be adventure enough for her. "When do we start?" was all she had to say. He laughed and grabbed her shoulders pulling her down to him. Rose squealed with delight, and with a kiss and mischievous grin he said, "after".

Chapter 2 WHO you are

"I hope you mean after breakfast, I'm starving! What are you going to make me?" He was delighted to do anything she asked. "What would you like Rose? Anything, just name it.'' "How about one of your famous omelettes?" "Done" He said putting his trousers on. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so light, so alive, so happy, like he could fly. And it was all due to Rose. They were going to have a great life together. He was already planning which planet to go to. He had several in mind and looked forward to showing them to Rose for her approval.

"Wait," She said laughing "How about that little café with the purple moon and green waiters?" He smiled and agreed at first, remembering the last time they were there, and all the trouble they got into because Rose… His smile suddenly faded. Rose was still smiling and looking for her robe. She wanted to shower and wear something nice, and her hair was a fright. But she stopped when she saw the expression on his face. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." He tried to smile but wasn't very convincing. "Naw, I don't want to go there, the service was terrible, and I'm not up to a personal trial by combat because you didn't like the sauce. I don't want to share you with anyone today. Let's just have a quiet meal in the Tardis. I'll make something special and we can talk." He was out of the room before Rose could object. That wasn't like him at all. She couldn't understand why. She was remembering how much fun going to that café was. Even with a knife to her throat. Of course the waiter didn't stand a chance against a Time Lord and was defeated in seconds. He surrendered and we got back to our meal. I still say the sauce was too salty. It took a moment, but Rose began to feel a sense of dread. Not quite fear, just dread. She was so happy before. Where was this coming from? She began to feel that he was right. It was too dangerous, and we should… Wait a minute, too dangerous? Since when was that a reason not going somewhere? What's happening?

Rose shrugged it off and met him in the kitchen. She'd tidied up a bit but as they weren't going out, didn't take the time for more than her comfy robe and slippers. Whatever it was, it smelled wonderful and she hoped he'd made enough. She was hungry as a bear. He had mostly dressed and finished cooking by the time she got there. "Hey, you're quick. It's a good thing. I'm famished and it smells wonderful." He grinned as she came in, catching a glimpse of her thigh. "Your chair, my lady" As they ate she caught him stealing meaningful glances at her more than once. But their conversation was superficial at best. When they'd finished eating she wiped her mouth and said "Ok, what's going on?" "What do you mean?" He said innocently. "Well," She was looking for the right words. "After last night and this morning, there's not an inch on each other we haven't explored. Why are you treating me like a stranger?" "I'm not," He defended himself, " I'm just getting used to you being in my head. I haven't had to share like that in a long time." He often said things she didn't understand, and she had a way of looking at him that told him he was doing it again.

She gave him that look now. You could cut the air with a knife. "Rose", he sighed, "There's something I need you to be prepared for. Something that is going to happen to you very soon." He needed her to understand what she had gotten herself into. He looked human on the outside, but he is an alien on the inside. The look on his face made Rose turn cold. "What do you mean by, happen to me?" She realized she really had very little understanding of the man in front of her. She kept forgetting that he was not human. The only thing she could see that might be a difficulty after last night would be a pregnancy. But she was quite happy with the notion and wondered if he was not. She smiled to make a joke of it and lighten the mood, "Do you mean having a bun in the oven? Because I'd like to have a girl first." His eyes grew large and he looked at her as if she had just slapped him, "What..What..What? No. That's not it. Well, ah..." She was delighted to have shocked him. And was that a bit of a blush on his face? "So" she continued. "How do you feel about the subject?"

"Rose," he said matter-of-factly, clearing his throat and trying to regain his composure. "I have been a father before. Even a grandfather." She didn't miss a beat. "Not by me" Rose pressed the point. "Are we able to have children?" He sighed with patience. This was not the topic he wanted to talk about. It was just too soon for that conversation. Rose would not be put off. "Well?" she demanded. "Yes Rose. I would love to have children with you. I would also like us to get used to being a couple and find a home first, before planning a family." "Then what's all this about something happening to me?" He started again and hoped she would listen and not interrupt.

"You know my people are telepaths. Since we have become…" He was trying to find the right words. "...so close, you are going to start noticing a connection between us. At first, just feelings, then, thoughts that are not your own. When two people have a deep connection like ours, a bond, a link, is formed between them." From the enigmatic look on her face, he wasn't making it any clearer for her. Finally he said "I can read your thoughts, emotions and memories. In time you will be able to do the same." Understanding crept into her mind and a lightbulb went on. So that's how he knew what to touch to... She giggled a bit, came closer, and whispered in his ear. "I'll bet I can read your mind right now." She began to unbutton his shirt. He dreamily smiled for an instant before turning serious again. "Rose!" He pushed her back gently. "You don't understand. That's not all there is to it." He paused to collect his thoughts. "There are good feelings and thoughts and memories, and there are bad ones. You will be exposed to both. I will try to protect you from the worst of them, but when I sleep, I'm not sure what will happen. I'm afraid Rose. Afraid you will see something from my past that will make you run from me. I have lived more than 900 years. I was a soldier. I have seen and done things that no one else should have to see. Horrible things haunt me in nightmares that you can't begin to imagine." His eyes were almost begging for understanding. He turned away from her to hide his pain.

Rose reached out and took his hand. "Look at me" She waited until she was sure she had his attention, then she said, "For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish for as long as we live." He recognized the words to a human marriage ceremony. Rose's tone was unusually serious, "We haven't said those words to each other yet, but I said them to you in my heart last night when you came to me. You have no reason to be afraid. I've seen enough of your life to know this isn't a game. That you have a terrible weight on your soul. I accept you for who you are, and I promise you, I will never turn and run. I love you too much to be away from you for more than an hour. You said you can read my mind. Well, do it now. I'm not saying this just to make you happy, I mean it." He knew she had no idea how bad it could get. He only hoped when the time came she would be strong enough to bear it. The Time Lord closed his eyes for a moment, reading her thoughts. An expression of gratitude came over him as he saw that it was true. There were tears forming in his eyes when he said, "You will tell me if it ever gets to be too much? If you see something you don't understand or can't deal with?" Rose only smiled and nodded. She knew there was nothing she couldn't forgive him. No one she could not defend him to. No place he could go that she would not follow. No matter how bad it was. He was everything to her.

Wiping his eyes and clearing his throat he turned to her. "And now for your question Rose. Explaining time lord physiology can get complicated. Perhaps I should simply start with my own." He hesitated, it was a sore spot with him and somewhat embarrassing in the past. He trusted her but wondered how she would take the news. "First off, I'll tell you a secret very few know." He swallowed hard and said it quickly, "My mother was human." Rose was shocked but tried hard not to show it. "That means I am half human. That means we have a good chance of having children. As I said, I've had one before. Although it was a bit of a scandal at the time.

You see Time Lords are taught that such notions are vulgar and beneath our dignity. At one time the child of a Time Lord was forbidden to go to the academy. They were ostracized and ridiculed. Just for being born. Can you imagine?" The fervor in his words was obviously from personal experience. Rose knew there was more to that story, but she didn't want to open a wound. She sat quietly, while he stood and paced the floor, his voice growing louder. "I suppose it made sense in a way for the Time Lord population to not have children. When you're nearly immortal, one person could populate an entire planet.

So the price for our long life, is not to live. Not to get involved. Not to have convictions. Not to know the pleasure of sharing your life with someone." He crossed the room and knelt at her feet putting his hands on her knees. "Or feeling the beats of your hearts quicken when she walks in the room." Rose smiled knowing he was speaking about her. "Not to know love Rose. Some of them, having been denied love, are twisted into cruelty or cowardice."

"I've never been able to learn not to feel, as they could. That's why I step in and interfere in other worlds when I shouldn't. I can't just stand by and watch people's lives being destroyed when I know I can help. And that's why I spend so much time on earth. Why I defend it. I was accepted there and even appreciated." Rose was intrigued about his human half and dared to ask a question. "Will you tell me about your parents?"

He sat next to her. "I don't know why my father came to earth. I don't know how they met. He never talked about it. I have a few memories, feelings mostly, I was very young when she died. Then, it was strictly forbidden for a Time Lord to take a wife, let alone have children with her. But he loved her very much and accepted the censure and scandal. Aliens were not allowed on Gallifrey. He stayed on earth with her until she was gone." Rose had a wistful look, "I would have liked to have met your mother. She must have really been something." "Yes," he said gently, taking her hand. "As you are." He looked away, "but now, there are no more Time Lords left to disapprove. Not that I'd care," he said bitterly.

"Please tell me more." Rose said, trying to coax more out of him. He hesitated for a moment. She had a right to know. He began again. "When father and I returned to Gallifrey, we were forbidden entrance to the city. We went to live with some friends on a farm outside the Capitol dome until I was 8. He was a broken man in every way, and simply lost the will to live. When he died, I was raised by the couple who owned the farm.

Life was good, but hard for the simpler people of Gallifrey. The Time Lords took them totally for granted and showed no respect to the people who produce their food and comforts. I guess that's where I got my overdeveloped sense of justice." Rose listened intently, but decided not to ask any questions. "The couple had several other foster children and I hoped to blend in, but I didn't. I always knew that I was different. Not as smart, not as quick, not as strong. And always over emotional. No one understood me. They all thought I was mad. I was quite lonely except for one boy who accepted me. We became like brothers and ran laughing through his father's fields, exploring our world and watching the stars on warm nights. Both of us vowing to see them all one day." He looked over at Rose who smiled in encouragement. It was painful for him to remember and he looked away from her as he continued.

"When we were 8, like all children on Gallifrey, we were taken for our initiation. You go to a place and are shown the time vortex. Without a Tardis, the gravity well creates physical changes to your brain. It makes your perceptions of reality change, and it's very painful. How anyone could do this to a child is beyond me." He stopped to take a long breath and looked back up at Rose. "To what degree you survive this test determines your station in life. Some become visionaries. They take the vortex into themselves and are able to make predictions, because they can see the past, present and future all at once. Some see the vortex and simply run away terrified. Some see it and go mad. I believe it was because of my human half that I didn't react like anyone they had ever seen. I did all three. Can you imagine an eight year old boy with a vision of all time and space, who was afraid of the dark and just a little bit off?" He laughed a little remembering their reactions.

"I was taken immediately to the Pridonian academy to learn how to be a Time Lord and manage my newfound abilities. But again they didn't know what to do with me. I learned their history and their science and their rules. I studied their books and tried my best to be like one of them, but I just couldn't. I was too stupid and willful and different. I would run off and try to find someplace where I belonged, where I could find peace.

One day I ended up in the matrix cloister." Before she could ask he explained, "It's a kind of computer storage facility with the ghosts of past Time Lords. I got lost for days. The wraiths, guardians of the matrix, who generally kill intruders first and ask questions later, showed me the way out. But not before telling me a prophecy. That one day a hybrid being would stand in the ruins of Gallifrey and sacrifice a billion hearts to soothe his own. As I was the only hybrid being ever likely to be on Gallifrey, I was terrified and told no one. I bided my time, trying to put it behind me, but after graduating from academy…" He stopped telling his story. Rose was enthralled. "Don't stop, what happened!" He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. Looking at Rose puzzled. "I've never told any of that to anyone. I didn't mean to, it just kept pouring out. It must be your influence on me. You wanted to know more. This is what I meant by you being in my head." Rose smiled and tried to be reassuring. "I'll take that as a compliment if you don't mind. What happened to your friend?" The Time Lord turned very grave. "At first he didn't seem affected by the vortex. But the truth was he was quite insane. Everyone believed he would be a great Time Lord one day. He was so brilliant at the academy. I never would have made it through without him.

We were friends for a very long time afterward. Leaning on each other. We both flouted the system, married and had families. Slowly, he began to change. His resentment of the way we and our families were treated turned into a kind of psychosis, a mania. He developed a lust for power and revenge. A hatred of all things Time Lord. Once he even told me he heard the sound of drums in his head that never went away. He began calling himself, The Master, and became the most vicious and evil Time Lord in history, and frequently tries to kill me when our paths cross. But I will never forget the little boy who befriended me and made my life tolerable when no one else would. He's still like a brother to me in spite of it all. And, now, we are the last."

There was an awkward pause as he relieved his past. Rose tried to fill it with more questions. "So, this connection between us. What's it got to do with us not going to that cafe?"

Roses mind wandering so quickly from one emotional subject to another made it hard for him to cope. It was like being in a washing machine. He became annoyed and angry. "Rose. I promised to keep you safe with me and never to jeopardize your life again! You could easily have been killed at that cafe. I could have lost you. Over something stupid. I could have lost you and that waiter would be dead now. Another death on my hands."

He was almost out of control. She could feel his anger and dread. Not just dread now, agony, and something else she never believed possible from him, malice. The same way she felt it before breakfast. Is this what he meant? Having his feelings replace her own? No, not replace, just become dominant. She grew suddenly cold and pale as he continued his rant, with wave after wave of his emotions, She swayed in her chair. He was instantly aware of her difficulty. "Rose. Rose are you alright? Look at me."

A different emotion now. Tender concern and love. She heard his voice as if it were from far away. Seeing him as if through mist. Her breathing was very shallow, and she was about to pass out. He took her arms and shook her. "Rose! Rose! You're in shock, but it will be alright. Just breathe." The mist began to clear. He was holding her face in his hands. His eyes closed, whispering something. "I'm trying to create a block, a door you can close in your mind. Stay with me. There. Do you see it? Concentrate. Close the door Rose. Good. How do you feel now?"

It was like waking up from a dream. She was a bit disoriented but ok. She took a deep breath as if she had forgotten how. "What happened?" she said, groggy. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Rose. It's our link. I didn't think it would happen so soon. I wanted to teach you how to defend your mind against me before it happened." "Defend against you?" Rose was still having a hard time focusing. "Yes. Blocking our connection is something you need to practice. In time it will become second nature. For the present it will be uncomfortable to say the least. I'm so sorry Rose. The sooner you learn, the better for both of us."

She was recovering quickly, but the memory of his anger was almost overpowering. A tiny bit of fear was creeping in. She stood up and pulled away from him as if she could break the link with distance. "Wait." He reached out to stop her. "I'm sorry that was your first experience." He took both her hands and touched her forehead with his own. "Close your eyes. See the door again." She was hesitant. "Do you trust me Rose?" Rose closed her eyes and it was there. "Open the door just a crack" She willed the door to open just a little. There was a bright light on the other side of the door. She thought she could smell roses. He bent his head to kiss her and when their lips met her mind was filled with a sense of warmth and love that was beyond description. When he drew away the light faded, and the door closed.

Rose was overcome with the experience. She opened her eyes and all she could think to say was "wow". Smiling, he was glad she had learned so quickly. "You have to get used to this before we can venture out of the Tardis. I don't know if you will be able to hear or feel anything from a stranger. I don't think so unless they are very strong emotions. That part of your brain is not developed enough yet. You may need to have an emotional connection to a person to make it work." Rose was awestruck by the experience and sat silently trying to comprehend.

He mistook her silence for fear, or was it his own. "Rose, Listen to me." He stood with his back to her. He couldn't look at her face and say it. "You don't have to do this. If it's too much, I can sever the connection." He felt sick as he said it. "It's not too late to forget." He ached inside as he said it. He had to offer, but desperately hoped she would refuse. It would mean the loss of their relationship. They would be as they were before last night. Companions only. But maybe it was best.

She paused for a moment that felt like a lifetime to him. A thousand emotions running around in her head at once until one emerged victorious. Anger. She looked up at him defiantly. "You promised! You promised me on your word as a Time Lord to love me and keep me safe with you no matter what the cost. If you think you can back out now…!" Her fury came at him like an avalanche. He tried to stop her and explain, "And I will Rose, but listen…" "Oh No, you listen. You think I'm a frail human ready to fold when the going gets tough. Let me tell you something about humans. We can be the most vicious, evil, violent species in the universe. You think the Daleks are bad. We kill our own. If you ask me it's the Time Lords that are the frail ones. You're so civilized you can't even handle simple emotions. I'm not letting you off the hook, not ever!" In her frustration she took off her slipper and threw it at him. She paused to take a breath and started again in a deliberate tone. "Get it through your head Time Lord. I love you and you're stuck with me!"

He smiled the biggest smile he ever had in his life. He picked her up off the floor and they whirled in a circle until she calmed down. When her feet finally touched down again he gave her the biggest kiss in the history of kisses. Her anger evaporated. He held her tightly in his arms, amazed at the woman he had. He handed her slipper back to her and held out his hand. His eyes an indescribable color. "Come," was all he said.

TO BE CONTINUED