Chapter 2: John Phoenix Is Apprenticed

John Phoenix grew at a rate must faster than most infants. In only a month he had turned into a 12 year old boy. His rapid development baffled doctors, not to mention his mother Mary Wright and his uncle Phoenix Wright. But he was a strong, healthy boy, and his IQ was measured to be in the range of IQ's that is considered to be the range in which geniuses are said to found.

But it was not all good things and flowers in the life of John Phoenix. Despite his large IQ number, he did very poorly in school because he suffered from Autism, OCD, and ADD. His disorders made it hard for him to pay attention in class or do his assigned work. It didn't help that the teachers were mean and bad and often quite stupider than John Phoenix. John Phoenix would rather make projects and games in Scratch on the homeroom computer than do what his teachers told him to do. His classmates were likewise inferior to John Phoenix. John Phoenix did not like playing with his classmates. He did not like listening to them. They were simpletons obsessed with submental popular culture and trends which were foreign to John Phoenix's interests. He would rather be by himself.

Eventually he performed so poorly in school, and had gotten physically violent with his teachers so many times, that he was placed in the Special class, even though he was very smart and didn't belong in the special class because it was populated by the mentally retarded children.

One day, a day which was in fact two months after the day he was birthed, John Phoenix was sitting at his desk in Special class in school and trying to ignore the teacher who was talking about things that mentally stupid children needed to learn. As John Phoenix was not stupid, but smart beyond his years, he decided that school was a waste of time. His dream of becoming a defense attorney was only being delayed by being in school. Since school was pointless, he decided to escape school.

John Phoenix stood up. The teacher was alarmed.

"John Phoenix," said the teacher. "You must stay in your seat."

"No," said John Phoenix while disobeying the teacher. John Phoenix walked to the door. The teacher stood in front of the door. John Phoenix moved his hand up and and then he moved his hand back in the air and then he made a fist with his hand and he moved the fist forward in the air and the fist touched the teacher's chin and that made the teacher get knocked unconscious. John Phoenix hid the body in the closet and then stole the keys from the body and locked his classmates in the classroom. The kids looked sad to be locked in but John Phoenix did not pity them. He couldn't risk them alerting Principal Buddy Johnson.

In the hallway, John Phoenix took out a box of matches and started a small fire. "This should buy me some time to escape," John Phoenix said. He pulled the fire alarm then escaped the school. He knew that he wasn't putting anyone in any real danger because the fire was small and he had set it in such a way that it wouldn't spread or become dangerous. Also, he had alerted the proper authorities by pulling the fire alarm, which was responsible, because it meant he took responsibility for his actions and the things he chose to do in life.

John Phoenix then went to the Wright Anything Agency, where he found his uncle Phoenix Wright standing or more accurately sitting at his desk while eating a donut, and the desk had things and briefcases on top of it. Phoenix Wright was surprised to see his nephew John phoenix because John Phoenix should have been in school. Phoenix Wright suspected that John Phoenix had escaped school. But the question on his mind was, why? And how?

"Uncle Phoenix," said John Phoenix, "I escaped school because it is bad and I do not want to go there anymore. It is waste of time for me. Going to school is merely delaying my dreams and ambitions. My dreams and ambitions involve being a defense attorney like you. Ever since I touched your badge two months ago when I was birthed, I have had a feeling that it is my destiny to become a defense attorney and that I will be fulfilling a great destiny planned for me by G*d by become a defense attorney."

"Well," said Phoenix, "to become a lawyer and practice law, you have to go to college and get a bachelor's degree, and then you have to take the LSAT and be admitted to an accredited law school and get your J.D., and then you have to take the bar exam and be admitted to the bar."

"That is pointless," said John Phoenix. "Make me your apprentice instead, and train me. The law says you can do that."

Phoenix was impressed. The law did say you can do that. Maybe this kid really does have what it takes to be a lawyer?

"Okay," said Phoenix, throwing the comic book he had been reading into the trash and wiping donut crumbs off his shirt. "You can be my apprentice. You're in luck, my daughter Trucy who is also your first cousin is on trial for murder. The trial starts in an hour. I'll be representing her. You can be my co-consul. Do you know what that means? It means you can stand next to me at the table. You can also hold my briefcase." He tried to make John Phoenix hold the briefcase but John Phoenix refused to hold the briefcase.

"No," said John Phoenix. "I will not hold your briefcase. Do you know why? Because that's not what an apprentice does. I am to be trained and taught, not be made a slave or a bafoon to be taken advantage of. So the only person who will hold your briefcase is the person who owns it, and that person is you because you are Phoenix Wright AKA the person I am apprenticed to and also the owner of the briefcase."

"I see you have a strong will and a strong sense of justice," said Phoenix Wright approvingly. "Okay. I will hold my briefcase. What will you hold, John Phoenix?"

"I will hold my own briefcase," said John Phoenix. He showed his briefcase. "My mother bought it for me yesterday because I asked her to. You see, escaping from school and becoming your apprentice was not a spontaneous action on my part. It was planned. I knew that I needed a briefcase when I became an apprentice, so I had my mother buy it."

"Good thinking, John Phoenix," said Phoenix Wright. "But I assume you have nothing in your briefcase?"

"Not so, Uncle Phoenix," replied John Phoenix. "I have a banana, pudding, and two sandwiches in my briefcase. I know I might have to eat, and I know that I might have to eat during a court recess, so I knew it would be wise to put food in my new briefcase."

"That is good thinking, John Phoenix," replied Phoenix Wright. "But one thing you may not know is that there are vending machines directly outside the defense lobbies. So even if you did not have food in your briefcase, you could still eat during a court recess because you could eat from the vending machines which were placed outside the lobbies for just such a purpose."

"I see," said John Phoenix. "Now I know that, but I think we must get to court now."

"Yes," said Phoenix Wright, "the trial will start soon. Thankfully, my friend Larry Butz will be here soon to drive us to court."

Soon, Phoenix Wright's friend Larry Butz arrived in his car. He gave Phoenix Wright and John Phoenix a ride to the district court. While sitting in the car in the backseat, John Phoenix thought about how his cousin was on trial, and how this was his big chance to prove himself as a defense attorney apprentice. He couldn't help but grow a lump in his throat at the thought of going to court for the first time. But he also knew that he must do what he must do no matter what feelings he may have. Because it was his destiny to be an Ace Attorney.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Bonus Emojis

👨 John Phoenix AKA apprentice John Phoenix

👨 Principal Buddy Johnson

👴the teacher John Phoenix punched

👱 ️Larry Butz