Trigger warning: Mentions of Rape and abuse

"mind telling me why your name is on an envelope at a crime scene?" Gibbs yelled as he put the envelope in an evidence bag. Ziva looked up and immediately flinched when she saw the others surrounding her, looking for answers.

"well?!" Gibbs yelled again, making the entire team flinch as well.

"i'll tell you, but not here...it's not safe" she explained, looking at her surroundings to make sure he didn't follow her.

Gibbs glared at her before sending a worried glance towards Tony then walking off to the car, gesturing for her to follow. The two shared an awkwardly silent ride back to NCIS. Once they arrived they walked down to Autopsy, once Gibbs concluded it was empty he gestured for her to take a seat.

"so" Gibbs said as he grabbed a chair and wheeled it over to the metal slab Ziva was seated on.

"Its a long story" she explained. He shot her a glare that told her to hurry up and say what she needed to say.

"okay" she started, "about 4 years ago, just before i joined NCIS, I met a guy and it turned out we knew each other from Highschool, we apparently dated in 11th grade".

"Apparently?" Gibbs interrupted, getting impatient.

"yeah, I don't remember him at all, but anyway we became friends again and all was going well until he started to get really possessive. He wouldn't let me see any of my guy friends, he said that i was 'his'" she explained as she looked down at her hands, not daring to meet her boss' cold stare.

"One night we were watching a movie and he kissed me, i guess I didn't mind so i started to kiss back. Things got kind of heated but i told him I didn't want to sleep with him, he said he didn't care and that i was his property, he could do whatever he wanted to me" she told him as a tear slid down her cheek.

"after...that, i ran out of the apartment, i ran as far as i could but he caught me. He knocked me out and took me somewhere, he would hit me if i tried to fight him. He kept me there for a week, then one day he just let me go. He said he was bored of me and that i was useless to him, he warned me not to tell anyone or he could kill the person closest to me" Ziva explained.

"so i went home, and i never saw him again" she said as she glanced over to Gibbs.

"Yesterday Morning, i found a note on my car from him, he said he 'found a use for me' and that no matter where I ran, he would find me"

"ziva-" Gibbs said quietly as he walked over to her. "you didn't tell anyone what he did? you just kept it to yourself all these years?"

She shook her head, letting more tears fall.

Gibbs gently brought his hand up to her face and wiped her tears. "i know this is hard but we need to let the others know, do you think you can tell them?" he asked.

"do you think you could? I don't think i can say it again" she asked hesitantly.

Gibbs nodded and gave her a reassuring smile before helping her off the table. At that moment the autopsy doors opened, Ziva quickly wiped her tears and smiled as Tony walked in.

"need something?" Gibbs asked.

"uh, no" Tony started as he glanced between Ziva and Gibbs. "we were just worried thats all".

"Tony, find McGee and come back here" he ordered, "Ziva, go back to your desk and write a list of any possible targets that could be in danger right now, Tony will drive you home after" he said gently.

Ziva smiled and walked past a confused and concerned Tony before heading to the elevator. Once the doors closed she flicked the switch to stop the elevator and slid down the door. She never wanted to have to relive that memory, she never wanted to see or hear from him again. "breathe Ziva, breathe" she whispered to herself in an attempt to calm herself down.

She took a deep breathe and composed herself before switching the elevator on and heading back to her desk. She sat down and started typing aimlessly on her computer, searching for any type of distraction. She eventually began to write a list of any possible targets, she laid back in her chair and began to think through these last four years, trying to find anyone who could be his next victim.

Tony felt the anger and sadness build up in his veins as Gibbs was filling him and McGee on the situation. "wait so he raped her, and she didn't tell anyone? She kept it to herself for four years?" Tony asked as he paced back and forth.

"Calm down, right now we need to focus on catching this son of a bitch before he gets what he wants" Gibbs said sternly before heading to the elevator. Tony and McGee gave each other a sad look before too, heading to the elevator.

"Ziva?" he said softly as he stood over her desk. She was absentmindedly staring into her computer, her hands shaking in her lap.

"Ziva" he said again a little louder, he was going to touch her shoulder but decided against it.

"hm? sorry" She said as she snapped out of her trance and looked up at him.

"Come on, lets go" he whispered as he held out a hand for her.

She skeptically took his hand and walked to the elevator with him.

The two walked up to Ziva's apartment door. She unlocked her door and gestured for him to walk in first.

She walked in after him and froze when she saw another envelope on the floor near the door. Tony slowly bent down and picked up the envelope before placing it on the coffee table.

She slowly walked to the couch and sat down as she stared at the note on the table. She wasn't sure if she should open it, she needed to know what was in it of course but a part of her was screaming at her to throw it away.

"i'm going to open this, okay?" Tony asked as he gently sat beside her. Ziva nodded slightly before sliding a little closer to Tony so she could read too.

Tears slid down her face as she read the letter. Tony sighed and gently put his arm around his friend, surprised when she didn't flinch but rested her head on his shoulder.

"why cant he just leave me alone?" she whispered.

"i wont let him hurt you, I promise" he reassured her as he gently rubbed her arm.

"it's not me I'm worried about, its you guys" she said as she lifted her head off his shoulder.

"he said it himself, he'll kill anyone that stands in his way".

"you need to worry about yourself for once, stop worrying about other people and put yourself first" he tried to reason with her but she disagreed.

"its kind of hard to worry about myself when I don"t care what happens to me" she mumbled.

Tony felt his heart literally shatter. His friend, the person he loved the most in this world doesn't care about her own wellbeing. He just wanted to hug her and make her feel loved and wanted, but she probably wouldn't want that, right?

I was going to write more for this chapter but i'm getting a headache lmao