June 1979
It was unknown who was more shocked the first time Remus called Nora's dorm building - Nora, or Remus. It had taken him a long time to work up the courage to call. He continually talked himself in and out of it. He didn't deserve to call her, he couldn't bring any joy to her, he knew. But a part of him was so drawn to her that it was almost impossible not to call her. Nora recovered very quickly from her surprise the first time he called and continued to be extremely smooth and flirty, while Remus bumbled about due to his nerves.
Nora didn't expect him to call a second time. They talked for several minutes and exchanged jokes, but he was talking to her from a pay phone. She knew it was inconvenient for him, she knew that she was extremely up front to the point of rudeness, and she hadn't had the best track record of people sticking around, so she wasn't hopeful. But he surprised her and called a second time.
"I'm surprised you still have any of that pocket change left." Nora joked when a girl who lived a few doors down from her told her that Remus was on the phone. She pulled her desk chair out into the hallway to sit beneath the phone and annoy absolutely everyone on her floor by taking up space and phone time.
"I've only called once." Remus pointed out. He sounded like he was smiling through the receiver, which caused Nora to smile.
"I expected you to be spending it on other things." She explained.
"Well, strippers don't particularly like coins in their underwear, I've found." Remus retorted, which caused Nora to guffaw loudly. "Too jingley." Remus continued.
"Not because it makes their twats smell like copper?" Nora questioned. Remus went quiet on the other end for a moment, which made Nora's heart stop in fear. Her jokes were always a little too much, she winced before asking, "Too far?"
She then heard a small gasp of laughter from the other end and her heart softened. "No, no." Remus assured through chuckles.
"My mother always said I'd never find a man that would put up with my filth." Nora put in, waiting to hear how Remus would respond to that. Would he assure her that she'd found one that would? That's what she wanted.
Remus cleared his throat slightly, unsure of what to say. "I don't mind filth so much." He finally tried to say lightly. "But you should meet my friends, they would give you a run for your money."
"I don't know, I'm pretty good at shocking people, I think."
"I'd have to agree." Remus smiled into the phone. "In the best way."
"Still not out of pocket change?" Nora jokingly asked later that week when Remus called again. His intention was to space out the calls so neither would get attached. He was unsuccessful.
"If you keep asking me that, I'll assume that you want me to." He retorted.
"No, but I'm sure all of the girls on my floor are ready for you to. I swear the girl who told me you were on the phone was glaring daggers at me."
"I'm sorry to inconvenience them."
"No you aren't." Nora chuckled.
"No, I'm not." Remus agreed.
"Although, maybe to do them a kindness, we could actually go get dinner sometime." Nora suggested, followed by a long silence on the line. Somewhere, in another part of London, Remus was mentally smacking himself as he stood inside a phone booth. He needed to say something, he needed to get out of this, but he didn't want to. His hatred for himself was waning every moment she talked to him. She had an energy about her that made him feel so comfortable with who he really was.
"Maybe we could." He let out finally. "It's better than being cooped up in a telephone booth."
"Well, don't get too ahead of yourself. It might not be better." Nora warned with a laugh.
"You aren't really selling yourself." Remus pointed out.
"I'm just trying to keep expectations realistic." Nora waited for what Remus had to say to that, but the line was silent. "Anyway, where do you want to go?"
"What's your favorite?" Remus asked.
"Oh, I'm easy to please. Any old pub with good beer and good food."
"Well if I meet you on campus at eight on Friday, we'll walk to a good one."
"I promise that I won't throw up in the bathroom this time."
"It wouldn't bother me if you did."
"Now that is the mark of a true gentleman." Nora noted happily.
Nora sipped her beer happily in the loud pub. She was surprised at how excited she had been to spot Remus on campus. Their interactions up to this point had been brief, but something about him put Nora at peace. And with her first year at university resulting in multiple horrific dating stories, he seemed like a gentle, and kind partner. Exactly what she needed.
Remus was shocked to be sitting in a pub with Nora. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She felt like magic to be around, like something kept pulling him towards her, despite the knowledge that this was all wrong, something felt right about her. He felt absolutely mad for thinking it, but she was magnetic and he couldn't pull away.
"So, non-profit work?" Nora asked, surprisingly able to remember many details from the night they first met. "What kind of stuff are you doing?"
"Uh, it's all boring." Remus waved off, taking a drink of his beer, hoping that Nora would fill the silence with some enchanting chatter, as she was wont to do.
"Bore me, then." She requested, putting her chin on her hand and staring intently at Remus, who grew more pink with every second she stared at him. She had always been one to talk constantly and excessively, always needing to prove herself smart or interesting. Something about Remus made her want to listen for once.
"It's just making connections in the community to make sure, uh, all people are accepted." Remus spit out, making it up as he went along.
"So diversity?" Nora asked for clarification.
"Basically, yeah." Remus nodded. "What about you, you want to go into publishing?" He needed the conversation to not be on his work.
"Yeah, that's the hope. Although, after this year of school, I don't know if I'll be able to make it through." Nora laughed.
"Why not?" Remus was intrigued at the idea of higher education. It was always something he'd wanted, but because of his lack of funds, and lack of employment opportunities because of his furry little problem, it seemed like a moot point.
"School work is hard, and living in a dorm is miserable." Nora shrugged, usually she would delve into the details of her hell year at university, however that had only proved to scare people off before, and she didn't want to scare Remus off.
"What's your roommate like?" Remus wondered, curious that she hadn't mentioned someone who slept a few feet from her.
"Non existent at this point. She met some older man at the beginning of the year and spends most of her time with him. I haven't seen her in weeks. Her side of the room is getting rather dusty. I've half a mind to push our beds together so that I can have a mega-dorm-bed." Nora began to rant, and against her better judgement, added jokingly, "It would be better for orgies, anyway." Remus laughed heartily at that.
"An older man, you say?" Remus' eyes twinkled a bit as Nora leaned forward to tell him more information, that she was clearly dying to get off her chest.
"It was the father of another girl on our floor." Nora let out with a mischievous look in her eye, Remus could tell she loved knowing he was interested in her gossip. "Originally my roommate, Anne, told me she had been seeing this guy that she met on move in day, then one day I come back from class to hear a bunch of shouting in the hall and this poor girl, Kim, is screaming at her father, and Anne and this old man are holding hands and saying they're in love. It was horrific. I'm pretty sure they fucked in our room not five minutes later."
"Oh, that's awful." Remus shook his head and took another drink from his beer.
"She eventually got the hint that I didn't approve after I consistently referred to him as Kim's father rather than her boyfriend, and she made herself very scarce."
Remus laughed along with her for a few glorious moments. He looked at her in admiration. Her long, curly hair was left down tonight. It made her seem larger, or maybe that was just the space that her personality took up. She consumed him. She couldn't go unnoticed. He couldn't understand why she had chosen him.
He wasn't sure if it was the bit of alcohol or her infectious confidence and enthusiasm that spurred him, but he simply had to ask. "Why are you here with me?" He choked out, slightly shocked by his words, but needing an answer.
"We agreed to meet here." She answered simply.
"No, why me?" Remus clarified. Nora's eyes softened from playful to understanding. She gave him a gentle smile and put her hand on top of his on the table.
"Why not you?" She returned as an answer.
Remus could think of a thousand reasons why, but none of those reasons were things he could tell her. He wished he could tell her so she would run away in terror and he wouldn't be tempted anymore. His heart felt black with the selfishness of his decision to stay around her. He knew he was putting her in danger, he knew he was not worthy, and because she didn't know of his true self, she chose to stay, and he could not say no to her. With all of these thoughts looming in Remus' head, he simply gave a small smile in return.
"Remus," Nora continued, "I don't know what has happened to you in your past that makes you feel unworthy of attention, but I'm sorry that you do. I find you to be extremely kind, and charming, and you find my jokes funny." She cracked a smile at him, nudging him with her leg under the table. "You intrigue me, and I want to continue to get to know you. Can we do that without you feeling like you need to run and hide?"
This was his chance, his opportunity to say that he could not do that. He should run, she should run. But he, destructively, nodded, and leaned in closer to her.
Remus told Nora that he didn't like using the phone booth. Nora suggested he get a landline, and when he said that wasn't a possibility, she began brainstorming. Eventually she came up with the clever idea to make a copy of her dorm key and gave him the invitation to come over whenever he pleased. She was convinced the surprise aspect of it would be fun, whereas Remus worried he would be unwelcome. Remus also troubled over the legality of copying the key, but Nora assured him that no one would find out about it.
After much convincing, and a fair amount of debate, Remus agreed that he would pop by when he could and they would set up another time to meet before he left. Spontaneity was not Remus' favorite way to plan, but it seemed that Nora liked pushing him to be slightly uncomfortable, and he didn't hate it.
So Remus' free time was now spent in a dorm room where he would watch Nora read, write essays, or fidget constantly with her turntable, trying to find the perfect song. She was an easy conversationalist, and there was never a lull, even while she busied herself with school. Remus was fascinated by her lifestyle, he would eat with her in the dining hall, or travel with her to the library. University, he realized, was a lot like Hogwarts, but the people were so different.
A fair number of people approached Nora, however she didn't seem to be bonded with anyone.
"What are your friends like?" Remus asked one night as the pair laid next to each other on the beds - eventually Nora did push her and her roommates beds together, especially with a new, consistent guest. Nora was rereading an essay she had written, trying to find any grammar or spelling mistakes. It was nearing the end of the school year and she was up to her ears in homework.
"I don't really have any." Nora responded uncaringly. "I have people I know, people I drink with. But they aren't really my friends."
Remus' heart ached for a moment for her. He thought of his friends, his best friends, his wonderful best friends that went through the trouble of turning themselves into animals so he wouldn't be so lonely on full moons. His friends who consistently lifted his spirits by making him laugh, and providing him comfort and a home where he felt safe. Nora didn't have that.
"What about your family, you don't talk about them much." Remus pointed out.
"Remus, I'm slightly busy right now." Nora responded in agitation. Remus stiffened beside her, he hated being a nuisance. She'd never treated him like he was before, but with papers spread out all around them, and books thrown around the room, it was obvious that her mind was elsewhere. Nora sighed, knowing that Remus felt guilty for bothering her, and put her papers down to look at him. "My family is complicated. My friends are more or less non-existent. I'm not going to pretend that I'm blameless in either situation, but I made the choices I made, and I have to stick by them."
"What happened?" Remus questioned against his better judgement, he knew she was being vague for a reason, but he still had to know.
"Well, my family has always been controlling and judgemental and-" Nora cut herself off and rubbed her forehead a bit. "They expected a lot from me and I was determined to never give them what they expected, so we don't really have a relationship at all. My friends love drunk Nora, good-time Nora. But I make things complicated because, again, I'm never really what people want me to be."
You're what I want, Remus wanted to say, but didn't.
"Remember when I told you to run far away from me?" Nora asked with a light chuckle. "I meant that, I'm wired to be difficult to deal with"
"I'm not one to run." Remus assured softly. Nora raised her brows in surprise at his response, but shook her head at his admission and returned to her essay. She knew that no matter how kind and gracious Remus was, he wouldn't stick around forever. She had learned long ago that she functioned best independently, and it wasn't something that made her sad. It was just the truth. She was grateful for his company for the time being, but she never expected the company to last.
"Remus," She asked suddenly, putting her papers down and beginning to clean up the piles that had begun to form around them, "you're here almost every night. You stay with me, you claim to like me."
"Yes?" Remus wondered where this was all going.
"Why haven't we had sex?" Her blunt nature had taken some time for Remus to get used to, but after spending the majority of nearly three weeks with her consistently, he was unsurprised by this question.
"You never said you wanted to." Remus answered simply, though slightly pink. "I figured you'd just ask when you wanted to, and if you weren't asking, then…" He knew her to be extremely upfront, and while they did sleep beside each other, and spent spare moments interlocked, he figured that because she didn't ask to have sex, she didn't want him.
"I want to," Nora assured. "I do. I've been so distracted lately." She shook her head a bit. "We should go to a nice, romantic dinner tomorrow." She suggested.
"Needing to be wined and dined before?" Remus joked.
"I was taught to never put out for free." She returned sarcastically. Remus cracked a smile.
"I'm going to be gone for a few days." He admitted softly, grinding his teeth at the thought of his upcoming transition.
"Getting cold feet now?" Nora questioned.
"No, no, just a bit of business to attend to." Remus assured lightly. "And you have finals to finish."
"Where have you been, mate?" James clapped Remus on the back in greeting when the pair met at their agreed upon place on the night of the full moon. This time, it was just James who could join as both Sirius and Peter were busy with Order business.
"I've just gotten so busy." Remus supplied lamely, feeling guilty for not telling his best friend, who did so much for him, the truth about where he'd been. If he was being honest, James would have been the best one to tell because he knew the most about the utter obsession that came with romantic feelings.
"With whom?" James chuckled, nudging Remus' arm. Remus saw the perfect opportunity to tell, to let him know about Nora, but he was still so ashamed of that fact that he was allowing someone who could so easily be hurt by him so close.
"Just...everything." Remus blew out a sigh. James' eyes softened at the overwhelmed look on his friends face.
"I'm here for you, Moony." He said softly, squeezing Remus' shoulder. Remus gave a sincere, grateful smile back.
"I know, Prongs, thank you."
After a few days of recovery, and attending to some necessary business for the Order, Remus returned to Nora's campus. It was shockingly desolate. When he walked onto Nora's floor, the doors of most of the dorms were left open, and the rooms empty. All he heard was Nora's distraught voice ringing out in the hallway.
"No, mother, I'm not coming home." Nora growled out. Remus looked around the corner to see her angrily pacing, her ear attached to the phone on the wall. "I got a job...No, not as a prostitute, but thank you...Mother, you are being ridiculous. I'm an adult, I can make these choices ...You aren't paying for it, though, mother, I am. I always have been...Okay, you are just being mean now, I'm hanging up, I will see you at Christmas." She angrily slammed the phone against the wall, and Remus decided that that was a good time to show himself. "Oh," She smiled brightly when she saw him, "good timing." She gave him a swift kiss in greeting. "My mother is quite the charmer." She rolled her eyes and brushed by him to enter her room. Half of it was now partially empty, save for a few things. "Anne came to pick up her stuff to take home for the summer. She'll be back in the fall. I'm staying here, I decided. I'm going to bartend to pay for the summer. I just couldn't go home." She was talking in a rush, and Remus could sense tears behind her words and she was obviously desperately trying to hide them.
"Bartending where?" He asked, kicking himself for picking the most insensitive part of what she revealed to him.
"The place we met. Figured it has a bit of good luck for me there." Nora was grateful that Remus didn't ask questions about her mother, or the fact that she was sticking around. Though her relationship with her family had always been complicated and upsetting, it wasn't something she liked to dwell on.
"You consider me lucky?" Remus wondered from the doorframe, watching her walk about her room and tidy things up. She looked over her shoulder and flashed him a huge smile. He was in awe of her, her beauty, her charm, her fierce independence.
"Best bit of luck I've had in a very long time." She admitted quietly. "But do you consider yourself lucky?" She asked with a cocked brow and a suggestive smirk while she grabbed his hand and brought him into the room, making sure the door was firmly closed and locked behind them.