Day 2: Conker's Bad Fur Day

From one game with low brow humor to the next, it's Conker's Bad Fur Day! Man playing this game nowadays reminds me of how awesome Rareware was. This was one of their last games they made with Nintendo, their last game for the N64, and probably their best work in my opinion.

The story follows a red squirrel named Conker after getting drunk at the bar the previous night, and now he has to go on one of the craziest adventures Rareware has ever put out just to get home to his girlfriend Barri. It's a simple story in concept, but the execution is anything but simple.

This game has a tendency to mess around with tones. One minute you're in a land made of feces, the next you're in the prehistoric era, then the next you're in a survival horror game, then the next you're fighting in a war, and to top it all off you're robbing a bank Matrix style! Keep in mind the overall story is Conker just trying to get home. It's like the developers weren't sure what game they were making and just decided at the drop of a hat, "Fuck it, let's do whatever and see what sticks!" It's insane, it's nonsensical, and it's freaking awesome!

Like I said, this was Rareware's last game on the Nintendo 64, a Nintendo console. You know, Nintendo, home kid friendly stories, colorful environments, unique level design, characters that curse up a storm, boatloads of toilet humor, sexual innuendos, gratuitous gore that's used in bad taste…wait what?! Yeah, one look at this game, hell one look at the commercial for this game and you can tell that was not meant for kids despite everyone looking like they come straight out of a Disney film! It'll make you wonder how Nintendo okayed this game's release despite the kid friendly reputation they built up. I've definitely gotta give Rareware respect for creating what I can only describe as the South Park of video games…before the likes of Stick of Truth and Fractured But Whole…and excluding the actual South Park video games that were released at the time. Seriously with the overall tone of the game would find itself right at home in something like Happy Tree Friends. I know I'm not the first to make the comparison, and I'm definitely not going to be the last.

Other wacky elements this game has include, but are not limited to: A weasel mafia, a singing pile of shit for a boss fight, fire imps controlling a big-balled boiler for another boss fight, a caveman with a small dong for another boss fight, and a bee that pollinates a big breasted sunflower! I repeat, a bumble bee pollinates a big breasted sunflower in a way that makes it sound like the bee is making love to it! You can't make this shit up no matter how hard you try. This game is wacky and I love every minute of it.

Going on to the humor, when it's not throwing shit, farts, and gore in your face, they're throwing in some hilarious uses of pop culture. These instances include but are not limited to the aforementioned Matrix reference, The Terminator, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Alien, Saving Private Ryan, Jaws, The Exorcist, hell the game starts in a reference to, of all things, A Clockwork Orange! It's like the game watched all of the pop culture references in Fanboy and Chum Chum and actually made them work.

Conker himself is also a source for hilarity. I'm just going to say this right now, Conker is not necessarily a nice guy. He's a womanizer, greedy, rude, and any acts of kindness he does are few and far between, and he usually does these good deeds if he gets something out of it. But yet he's somehow the most likeable character in the game. This is probably due to his reactions to the crazy world around him and we get to see his interactions with characters that, in some instances, are crazier or bigger jerks than he is.

(Moment #1)

Carl the Cog: Fuck off!

Conker: Why is everyone so offensive around here?

Carl the Cog: Either bring me back me missing cogs, or fuck off!

Conker: You don't have to shout.

Carl the Cog: I'm deaf. Speak up or fuck off!

(Moment #2)

Franky: Not from 'round here, are you boy?

Conker: No, I'm from the 21st century.

Franky: I don't rightly recollect liking your type. Therefore, I conclude, I is gonna kick your butt around this barn like there's no tomorrow! I is gonna stick my big fork right into yous.

Conker: Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?

But by far what everyone remembers the most about this game is its ending, probably the most depressing ending a game of this nature has ever had. I'm about to get into spoilers so just a heads up.

After defeating the final boss, Conker finds himself as the new king after the previous king got killed off in the game's finale, basically meaning Conker cannot go back home to a normal life, and to make matters worse, his girlfriend Barri is also dead. At this moment, Conker realizes that he has everything he could ever want, but nothing that he truly needs. The final image is just Conker sitting on his new throne, contemplating everything that has happened. I think his final words sum it up best…

Conker: So, here I am, King. King of all the land. Who'd have thought that? Huh, not me. I guess you know who these guys are now, because I certainly do. I don't wanna know them. And yup, I may be king, I have all the money in the world and all the land, and all that stuff. But you know, I don't really think I want it. I just wanna go home, with Berri, and, I don't know, have a bottle of beer. Hmmm. It's not gonna happen. It's true what they say, "The grass is always greener, and you don't really know what it is you have, until it's gone…gone…gone…"

Would you expect this to be the finale of a game that has a singing pile of shit for a boss fight? I don't know what happened in development of this game that lead to this downer ending with a powerful message on how you shouldn't take what you have for granted, but…it somehow works. I guess it's like when South Park does something heartfelt or tries to give a good message: It's important, it comes directly from the heart, but you have to get through mountains of pop culture references and toiled humor to get to it.

Now, with the ending of this game in mind, does that make Conker's Bad Fur Day one of the great games that you have to play? Not especially. I can see the humor in this game turning off some people, and there are moments where the gameplay expects you to learn a new control scheme right from the get go (I'm looking at you zombie killing section of "Spooky" and subsequent Count Batula boss fight). These aspects are definitely something not everyone is going to fall in love with, but if you can get through all of that, or if this kind of game is up your alley, then I can assure you that Conker's Bad Fur Day will show you a great time.