Chapter Two: A Familiar Cast

5 DAYS LATER

In an instant, the two of them found themselves in a poorly-lit room with a single glowing strip of light marking where the exit door was.

SpongeBob squeezed Patrick tight. "You see? We're at the game show already!"

Patrick finally made the connection with the few brain cells he had. "Oh, so that's how it works!"

"Yep," SpongeBob said. "Whenever that guy states an amount of time, we suddenly jump to whatever point is specified! Now come on, let's meet our fellow contestants!"

They both darted to the exit door and threw it open, revealing the sound stage where the bulk of the show presumably took place. Even now, a handful of workers were running around making some last-minute adjustments while a few more moved the spotlights around to try and get the best possible effect.

The stage itself currently looked deserted, save for a few chairs. As for the others who had been selected to appear in this episode, they were either waiting somewhere else or hadn't arrived.

"Well, it looks like we're the first ones here," SpongeBob said. "Hey! While we're waiting, why don't we try and find the host? That'd be fun."

Patrick nodded so fast that if he'd had a regular brain, he might have jolted it loose. "Yeah! So fun!"

They searched the place from top to bottom for the next ten minutes or so, but couldn't find anyone except for the workers putting the finishing touches on everything. After a while, it began to seem odd, since they'd searched as many places as they could (and in Patrick's case, even ridiculous ones like inside the toilet tanks and under a loose tile in the floor), and hadn't even found another competitor. It just didn't add up.

"Maybe our first goal is to find the host or something," SpongeBob said, chuckling nervously.

"Maybe he's invisible," Patrick added.

However, when the time came to finally return to the room they'd started in, it had become much more crowded than before. Now, the stage was fully set with several gleaming podiums, one for the host (with the name conspicuously missing from it) and the others for the contestants. Each one was lit up by the beam of a spotlight, so bright Patrick squinted while he looked at it. A giant computer monitor sat behind the host's podium, currently stating, "The show will begin in about ten minutes. All contestants, please prepare to start at any moment."

Strangely enough, though, that wasn't what attracted most of SpongeBob and Patrick's attention. It was the competitors they'd be squaring off against.

Squidward visibly cringed and looked away once he saw that both SpongeBob and Patrick were there, mumbling under his breath, "they're here, too?" Mr. Krabs stood up straight, an insane smile plastered on his face, while Pearl waited alongside him, looking utterly bored. Sandy, still wearing karate gloves, practiced some moves against thin air as she waited. Mrs. Puff had brought some trivia questions with her to both keep herself occupied and practice in case the game had a trivia round. For whatever reason, even Squilliam had been brought on the show for some reason. He was leaning against a wall without a care in the world.

SpongeBob scratched his head. "Uhh, Patrick, don't you think it's weird that we know all these people?"

"Not really," Patrick said. "I mean, this had a pretty good chance of happening, right?"

"Patrick," SpongeBob said, "the likelihood of this happening by chance was about 1 in 17 quintillion, so-"

"Oh, so it was really likely then," Patrick said. "Come on, let's go say hello to everyone."

The others saw them before that could happen, though. Mrs. Puff recoiled, hiding behind Mr. Krabs and Pearl. Pearl barely reacted, although Mr. Krabs smiled. Squilliam either didn't know or didn't care about them. Sandy was too busy practicing her moves to notice them at first, but when she saw them, she waved enthusiastically before starting to chop and slash again.

Before SpongeBob and Patrick could reach them, however, the intercom system started up, announcing, "All contestants, please report to the stage. Taping will start in less than five minutes. Once again, all contestants should report to the stage."

At that, the eight of them began moving in a sort of cluster, not tight enough to make the feeling uncomfortable but close enough that an outsider could tell they were a group. When they arrived at the stage once more, the workers had vanished, but in its place was a complete stage set. Each of the eight of them now had their names written on one of the podiums in fancy gold lettering. The host's podium (still missing a name) waited at the opposite end of the stage. Each of them now came with a microphone and a pen, probably for saying and writing down answers, respectively. Finally, the monitor in the back had changed a little, now saying, "We are ready to start taping. As soon as you are prepared, we will begin."

SpongeBob's podium, unfortunately, was across the stage from Patrick's, so they had to shout to communicate with each other. "Hey, Patrick! Are you ready to have some fun?"

Patrick flashed a massive smile. "Of course I'm ready to have fun, SpongeBob!"

"I can't hear you!" SpongeBob started yelling even louder. "I said, are you ready to have fun?"

Patrick's started bouncing up and down. "I can't wait to have fun!"

SpongeBob, impossibly, started yelling even louder after that. "I still can't hear you! I said-"

"SpongeBob, Patrick, could you please shut up?" Squidward shut off that conversation pretty quickly, looking like that well-worked vein in his forehead was about to burst. "The creatures that live on the moon could probably hear you, you can definitely hear each other! Also, some of us would like to practice so we can win the grand prize, you know!"

"Sorry, Squidward! We won't talk as loud!" Patrick shouted this as loud as he could, just to make sure Squidward could hear it. Based on the expression on his face, he could hear that just fine.

Sure, SpongeBob and Patrick were on opposite ends of the room, but they were far from the only people on stage at the moment. Mr. Krabs and Pearl, to no one's surprise, had been placed together, with Pearl being right next to Patrick. Squidward and Squilliam, to everyone's surprise (and their ire), had been placed next to each other as well. Mrs. Puff was right next to SpongeBob, and Sandy was sandwiched between her and Squilliam.

A voice from offstage yelled, "Is everything set?"

Someone else responded, "Almost! Just make sure no one's trying to cheat!"

That, fortunately, was a quick process. The person they sent to do that made short work of it, although he did spend a full minute or so examining Squilliam's unibrow, just to make sure he wasn't hiding a speaker or any devices in it. (He wouldn't have been the first.)

Once that was done, the intercom started up once more, with the same person saying, "We're starting in fifteen seconds! Put on your stage face!"

Spongebob checked his pockets for a second before sighing, a dejected look on his face. "Oh, darn it. I left that one at home. I have a sporty face with me, though, would that work?"

Squidward glared at SpongeBob. "It's an expression, SpongeBob. Just look presentable when the cameras start filming!"

SpongeBob's face reverted to its usual smile. "Oh, okay! Thanks, Squidward!"

Squidward just groaned in response. Unfortunately for him, that was the precise moment they started filming.

With a swell of cheerful music, whoever was manning the intercom began their opening spiel. "Games. The one thing that brings everyone together, besides, well, breathing and blinking and eating and-"

Another voice cut him off. "Not important! And stick to the script!"

"Fine, fine," the first voice responded. "Tonight, eight hopeful contestants will fight to the death-"

"No! It is not a fight to the death! Give me the mic," the other voice said. What followed turned from a brief argument into what sounded like a vicious scuffle. Suddenly, a third voice yelled, "Cut, for Neptune's sake, cut! Let's try this again!"

Less than fifteen seconds in, and they'd already had to stop taping. Sure, Squidward would be happy that he wouldn't look like he'd drank vinegar right before the show started, but as for everyone else, all they wanted to do was get this show on the road already.

"Well," SpongeBob said, "we're off to a great start."

"Yeah, this is awesome," Patrick responded. Although, SpongeBob wasn't sure if he was talking about the show or the gigantic sandwich he'd seemingly pulled out of thin air.

As the sounds of fighting coming from the intercom intensified, it had been made pretty clear that this would be far from an ordinary game show.

Author's Notes:

-Hope you enjoyed this part! There's going to be one more introduction chapter after this, then we're launching into the actual game show. Some parts will be parodies of popular game shows, others will be original content.

-As for the contestants, I stuck mostly to major characters to keep the cast from getting totally out of hand. I included Pearl and Squilliam over other minor characters mostly to make tournament formats easier (if it comes to that) and to create some additional dynamics. (And if you're wondering why Plankton and Karen aren't here, haven't you read the description?)

-Again, hope you're enjoying this so far, and see you next chapter!