hey there its been what 365 days since i last uploaded anything, so what happen? first studies: i finished my studies and now on my way to university but it was postpones due to the Covid-19 pandemic and currently I am helping the frontliners by staying at home. anyway I present to you an update to this story. #stayathome people.

Oregairu and all of its character is owned by Wataru Watari.

"Boom"- Talking

I wanted you to live as an ordinary man.

So it is fine like this.

I think it's real happiness for you.

Even if I am no longer with the living

Even if I can't meet you anymore

My feelings for you will not change.

I love you.

Hikigaya Hachiman.

He clutches the small piece of paper close to his chest after reading it as the rain continued to fall harder as if it was also weeping for him. He desperately tries to shelter the paper from being soaked like him as tears fall from his eyes. He was standing in front of a grave, on the stone that marked the grave a name was etched.

Rei Nagase.

"she didn't make it. She sacrifices herself to get you out, she passed away while you were in a coma due to blood loss. This is something she wanted me to give you an hour before she left us.

He was awakened from his sleep looking around it was evident that he had fallen asleep on a bench underneath the tree in the school courtyard again. he slowly stands and headed for his class, it been a year since he awoke from his coma and a year after the end of the war and his subsequent return to normal life. Now he was no longer a soldier but an ordinary student living an ordinary life or at least he tried too.

He started school late due to his past problem and due to the government pulling a few strings for him because of his deeds he managed to go to Sobu high a prestigious school located in Chiba. That didn't mean it was any easier for him. Due to his comatose status meant that he needed to do a lot of catching up with his studies and thanks to his old major brother he was able to do just that.

Another surprising thing is that his family didn't beat him to the ground when he comes back. It was a tear-inducing moment for him and his family saw their son who runs away to be back again with them. Life is going well for him but then there will always be a problem, he still didn't make any friends and his attempt at integrating into the society has been a failure. Walking up the stair to his classroom he couldn't help but wonder how he was going to fulfill his old major order.

"when this is over you go homemade friend and made them fast!"

He sighed even in death it seems her voice accompanies him everywhere.

He continued his walk toward his classroom all the meanwhile the student around him either avoided him or talk behind him. To them, he was an enigma his face and eyes look like a guy who could beat you up without hesitation and the fact that he always wears a leather glove on his right hand didn't help it either. Due to that rumor started to pop up about the most favorite of the students however was that he was a Yakuza son who entered the school due to his father's influence and the reason he wears a glove on his right hand was due to a scar he received in a big fight.

Didn't help him in making a friend at all.

Walking down the hallway leading to his classroom, he was suddenly stopped when he saw a group of students in front of his classroom. As he walked to them most of the students realizes it was him and began parting to make way for him.

"let me go!"

He heard as a scuffling sound of table and chair could be heard from inside when he entered the classroom however he finally saw the problem at hand. A group senior was surrounding a short grey-haired boy. He remembered him, Totsuka Saika a cheerful classmate who represented their school tennis club.

"shut up Ruskies you came here and bomb our city and then walk around like you own the places"

The leader said as he grappled his right hand, he could tell it was painful for him from his expression.

"I'm not Russian I'm a Japa.."

He tried to reason with them before he was pushed down onto the ground.

"shut up we don't care you still have Russian blood and that means you are a Rusky probably spies for them"

Totsuka manage to stand up once again, he was resigned to his fate, that much Hikigaya could tell. The war has caused huge tension between the Japanese and Russian community even though the people weren't at fault they were still largely discriminated inside Japan causing a huge amount of them to return home, the one that remains however were discriminated to no end by the small majority of people akin to the one standing in front of him.

"so you managed to stand huh pretty brave for a Rusky, what say you guys let teach him a lesson"

He said as his crony closed the gap between them.

"the war is over let it go"

He interrupted them as the student behind him began to back away. The senior turned to him his face filled with anger.

"and who the hell are you a Rusky lover, probably a Rusky yourself"

"What am I and who I am has no consequences toward you"

He walked toward him while cracking his knuckles in an attempt to intimidate him.

"this Rusky and his little gaijin fellow bombed our city and killed our brave soldier while invading our home island"

He said accusingly as the boy behind him began to worry for him.

"hey you there"

He suddenly asked the boy behind him who in turn looked at him in surprise.

"yes"

"did you, your family or any other people close to you pilot any mig, serve as a soldier or support the New Sovies war effort up north?"

He looked at him with a surprised face.

"n..no"

"you are born in Japan correct?"

"yes"

"there you have it he didn't fight any war and his family stay true and supported Japan during the war, is there anything else you want to add?"

He asked now his face was truly fuming with anger.

"why you Rusky lover!"

He said as he took a swing attempting to punch him. Yet even before his fist gets close to his face it was stopped by his right hand.

"the war is over let it go… friend"

He said with venom on the last part as he tightened his hold over the senior hand. The senior saw the look and felt the pain as he was struggling not to show it on his face before pulling back from him. His face was still angry but somewhat fearful of him. Why not he just mistakenly grabbed the guy hand using his prosthetic arms which are made of silver and steel.

'he wasn't worth it come on"

He said to his friend who had been shocked by his move of catching their boss fist. As they made their way out their boss turned toward Saika for one last time.

"and you this isn't over we pay you a visit later"

He said as he left the classroom and the student began to leave or return to their work. Not wanting to attract any attention to him. Hikigaya slowly leaves the classroom, Komachi is going to kill him if she found out about this.

Sitting under the tree that he had fallen asleep earlier he could not help but wander to himself about his move from earlier. It was sudden as if something pushed him to do so but he could not help but remember what. He slowly placed his hand inside his pocket and pulled a small square-shaped laminated paper. It was his major final letter, every time he looked at this small paper in his hand he remembered his major grave.

"How could I have been so forgetful, that day in the Bootcamp"

He said to himself with a small smile on his face remembering the first time he met her.

Flashback

"you think you are some sort of a hotshot huh!"

Currently, he was being cornered behind the barracks by the fellow member of his squad with the leader a tall bulky man holding his uniform collar.

"give us your ration and we let this go"

Never had he felt this hopeless and annoyed as the three continued to harass him ever since he arrived in this base. It starts as a small thing akin to what you expect to get when you entered the military before spiraling into this. They would force him to do their work and sometimes clean their shoes. He couldn't exactly fight them all and since in secret, he was 15 they were pretty much older than him. he slowly picked the ration bar in his pocket and slowly gave it to them.

"look he was nothing but a sheep, scared of us"

Said the leader to him and as quickly as it comes he felt a pain in his stomach as the man punched him to the guts. He fell to the ground clutching his stomach.

"ha! Weak! I don't even know why the military let you in any way, go home"

He said as all of them started laughing.

"why don't you go home and suck your mother tits!"

Another said this time as his feeling of pain suddenly turned into anger as they insulted his family.

"shut up!"

"what?"

The leader said menacingly as he eyed him.

"I said shut up, you can take my ration but don't insult my family!"

He said as the guy snickered at him.

"look like the sheep can talk"

he slowly moved toward him and suddenly grabbed him by the throat.

"what are you going to do if I talk about your mom huh!"

He didn't speak for a few moments as his right hand formed into a fist before suddenly.

"Agh!"

A scream of pain resonated as the leader was punched by him, he forgets one thing maybe he can't fight but at the very least he can punch.

"you are going to pay for that kid"

He said while clutching his bloodied nose. Unable to react by his cronies sudden move he was pinned to the ground. He struggled to move but their hold was to tight for him to get away from.

"you are going to pay for that"

He said to him as he closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable. Yet it never came he slowly opened his eyes to see that the one that he had punched had was being held by someone from the back or rather a woman. She was tall and a scar was on her left cheek, the insignia and rank on her uniform meant only one thing a veteran.

"so you are the sorry sod that was about to be rolled under my companies?"

She said her voice was cold, she quickly pulled the man back from him as the one who was pinning him down released him to be at their leader side how was holding his hand in pain. "go to the infirmary and fix your nose afterward we will have a talk".

She said as the man's anger still on his begrudgingly acknowledged her order.

"yes ma'am"

He said as he and his cronies walked away before being stopped again.

"hold! The bar"

She said while placing her hand forward, this time however instead of placing it in her hand he throws it to the ground in anger. She slowly walked forward and pick it up from the ground while he sat on the ground.

"here"

She said handing the bar to him in which he took. He slowly stands and saluted her.

"thank you, ma'am!"

"your welcome go back to your barrack"

She said before turning and walking away from him. at the time he didn't know much about her but apparently, she was a woman of a few words. He wouldn't fault her fighting war definitely would cause someone to be like that.

"ma'am…"

He said in an unsure voice. She stopped before turning to look at him.

"yes"

"may I ask a question"

She looked at him sternly as if he had committed something wrong. She stayed silent for a while before speaking again.

"ask away"

"Why did you help me?"

She looked at him again but this time a soft look appears in her eyes.

"well isn't it the duty of a soldier to help the people around him"

She said as she turned walked away leaving him speechless. The day after that the three were reportedly transferred out of his squad and was placed in the logistical regiment. He had an ink of suspicion that this was the woman's work but didn't talk about it to anyone. He never did saw her again after that day, not until he finished his training and was about to be shipped out with the rest of his squad and companies did he finally met her as his superiors.

End

He sighed.

Even in death, her word does wonders to influence his decision. He places the laminated paperback in his pocket and quietly sits there at least until the situation has gone down for a bit. Deducing that it was long enough he finally decided to head back. Entering his classroom he was met with stares by his classmate and especially the one that he saved earlier. He slowly walked to his seat and began taking out the textbook for the next classes.

The classes go through without a hitch and it was time for him to go home and forget what happened today but as he walks out of the classroom door he was met by a teacher or rather white coat wearing and smoke a lot teacher. Hiratsuka Shizuka the one that was tasked in helping him integrate back into society.

"yo Hikigaya, mind following me the office"

She said nonchalantly, he knows what is going to happen and something tells him she was about to present her latest plan in helping and of course nothing good can come from that.

"yes sensei"

Of course, he accepted albeit begrudgingly so.