My fucking head hurt. Between the hit to my head that Captain Leonard gave me and all the shit I've been dealing with in the past two days, my head felt like it was about to explode.
I thought this was going to be an adventure. Not tediously managing a slave ship-type garbage.
But, it wasn't a slave ship anymore. It was my ship. With all the boring and stressful responsibilities that came with it.
Let me explain what I've been going through.
This Marine ship was a retrofitted battleship turned into a slave ship. A battleship can hold over a thousand marines. A thousand fucking people! It was only by dumb luck that we faced around a hundred Marines on this ship. The absolute smallest crew needed to run a ship like this. A skeleton crew if you will. I guess a lot of Marines weren't needed when most of your passengers were in chains...
The rest of the ship's capacity was filled with slaves. This thing was packed with over eight hundred slaves from every walk of life.
The sheer horror of the things I saw as I walked through the bowels of this ship didn't just make my blood boil, it made me feel like my body was coursing with magma. I'll spare you the grisly details. Open up a fucking encyclopedia on the slave trade if you want to know more. But I wouldn't...
After seeing that, all I wanted to do was kill all the Marines on the ship, but Sandokan managed to talk me down. I realized, begrudgingly, not every Marine on the ship was responsible. That's why my first ever order as a Captain weren't to slaughter the Marines, but to release the slaves.
I delegated the task of releasing, taking care of, and commanding the slaves to Jean and Petey Piranha (he hates every nickname I gave him, and I needed some small joy right now). Between Jean's massive size and experience as a captain, as well as Peter's stupid amounts of confidence (and surprising charisma), they managed to keep the freed slaves under control. Which was good, as there was only enough food to keep them alive, but not enough to keep them healthy. There was plenty of food, but only enough nutritious food for a hundred people (guess who those fucking hundred were) for a month, not close to a thousand. The rest of the food was watery gruel I wouldn't even feed a dog.
And the quickest way to mutiny was through a crew's stomach. And not all the slaves were completely weakened from their treatment. So another rebellion was a real possibility.
My second problem was this ship was gutted. Everything and anything that could be removed to add a little more space for a slave, or to lighten the ship so it could move faster, was done on this vessel. That's why the bottom two decks and half the second deck was just bare floor. They squeezed everything a normal ship would into the other half of the second deck. Every Marine that wasn't named Captain Leonard slept in cramped bunks. This Marine ship didn't even have jail cells, because why would it when almost every single inch of this ship was one big prison?
I mean, fuck, almost everything below the top deck looked like an empty warehouse. The only thing down there were wooden poles and support beams that were used to chain us, slaves, up. It was ridiculous.
Yet, not only was the ship basically hollow, but most of the canons were inoperable and only there to look intimidating. The giant, turret, cannon-things on the top deck might as well be hood ornaments for all the good they were.
Thankfully there were a handful of real cannons on the top deck(pointed inwards in case of a slave revolt...), but there was only enough ammo to scare off some small ships. Even then, if this fucker came across a crew tenacious enough...we'd either lose by attrition or the other crew might get tired shooting at this ship, since it'd take forever to sink us 'cause of our size. At that point, they'd just board us...
This ship's only real defense was the fact it was a Marine battleship. Scary, big, intimidating. That meant we needed to bluff so hard everyone folded their cards before even bothering to fight us. While I was sure scrub pirates wouldn't bother us, I was told something by Jean that made me feel like we wouldn't be meeting only scrub pirates.
This was the North Blue. Not the weak-ass East Blue. And when I read the manga, East Blue didn't look that weak either!
Also, I don't know shit about the North Blue. If this was the East Blue I'd be in a better position to plan out something or prepare for threats better... All I know is that Basil Hawkins comes from here. And that's one tough mofo'...
Moving on... regarding the captured Marines, Sando and a handful of slaves strong enough to fight were making sure the 'good guys' that didn't play ball with us were docile and quiet. That meant boom-boom collars and spiffy chains for them. Apparently, the marines had a controller that let you point the device at a collar, press the button, and the collar would blow up.
Real nifty thing. It kept them quiet. That and the gags in their mouths.
I hope they like how it feels to be on the other side of the slave-master relationship. Assholes.
After getting all that settled, I had two days of reading crew and passenger manifests, captain logs, itinerary logs, inventory lists, etc...
I didn't like what I found.
All of it pointed to me being fucked...
Fucked! Fucked! Fucked!
Signed letters by someone called 'Joker' telling Captain Leonard (code name 'Toupee') to deliver the 'employees' to the 'Public Employment Security Office' in Sabaody in a month. As well as the 'cargo' to Punk Hazard afterwords. From there, they would go to Dressrosa to pick up a shipment of 'tools and supplies' to be delivered to various buyers in the North Blue.
The amount of code they wrote in was annoying. It was obvious what they were referring to, I mean, with my meta knowledge at least. But for the sake of turning the obvious into cold, unpleasant reality...
The employees referenced in the letters were most of the slaves. On the other hand, the cargo to Punk Hazard might be some of the child slaves and maybe Sandokan? Caesar Clown might have wanted to experiment on the Tigerman, seeing how he makes artificial Zoan fruit and all...
Tools and supplies were a lot of fucking weapons. Enough to arm half a thousand people to the teeth. And they were heavy-duty things, like to arm a small terrorist group for a guerilla war, or a crime syndicate. I think? I don't know shit about flintlock pistols and rifles, but Sando said they were heavy shit.
And, unless the Joker from DC Comics made the jump here as well, this fucking boat's in league with Donquixote Doflamingo. The employees referenced in the letters were most of the slaves. On the other hand, the cargo to Punk Hazard might be some of the child slaves and maybe Sandokan? Caesar Clown might have wanted to experiment on the Tigerman, seeing how he makes artificial Zoan fruit and all.
What I don't get is...I was in the North Blue, so why take slaves from here when you could get them on the Grand Line? I understand selling weapons, so maybe making the supply chain as efficient as possible? Who were his agents here? Were there even agents on this ocean? Fuck, I wish I had an eidetic memory of this series.
There was also the issue of this really being a Marine ship. I wish it was just Doflamingo's ship disguised as a Marine ship. But noooo, of course the captain and all the staff were legit. Or as legit as a bunch of Marines that work directly for Vergo, and by extension Doflamingo, could be. That meant, yup, the ship was assigned to the G-5 base. That wasn't even hard to figure out; all I had to do was to look up at the sails.
Knowing how the G-5 base Marines were, they could pretend these Marines went rogue and write them off if they got caught. Even if this Marine crew was set up to be a corrupt fall guy by Pink Boa and Food-Face, the World Government and the Marines would still cover this all up with extreme prejudice. To say nothing of the fact I stole a battleship, the only offense they could pin me on that I would admit to being true.
So, let's add this all up. I was on a neutered battleship owned by Vergo, with not enough food, that was being used to ferry slaves captured by Doflamingo, and sold to Sabaody. Oh yeah, and maybe transporting guinea pigs to Punk Hazard to make fruits for Kaido. And then would pick up weapons to be smuggled back to the North Blue.
Do I have everything right? I don't want to miss any bullshit I haven't touched yet, ya' know, really roll around and hit every turd on the ground.
When I took over this ship I was like, 'Yaaaaay, One Piece!', now I'm like, "Fuuuuuuuuck One Piece..."
+X+
As Sandokan and Peter walked into the captain's cabin for our meeting, they found me bouncing my head against the captain's desk like I was trying to dribble it with my skull. Conveniently the captain's cabin was at the stern and was the highest place on the ship, so Bart could sit in; at least from the outside. Currently, the giant bastard was sticking his head sticking through a porthole window like a giraffe being fed at a zoo. I was lucky Bart could sit in, or our meeting would have place taken someplace less secure to accommodate him. And I rather everything stayed private.
"You ok, Jay?" Sandokan said with concern.
I probably looked like a crazy person. The only clothing I had on was a white Marine jacket over my shoulders and a makeshift loincloth made from more jackets. Nothing on this ship fits me and I refused to wear any slave rags. Rubbing my nuts on Captain Leonard's clothing was one of the few joys I could take from this whole situation.
I waved my hands to let them in, "No, no I'm not. Please, sit. Take the chairs I can't sit in," I said while sitting on the floor, as the chairs in the cabin couldn't hold my weight in my half Oni-form.
"You could turn back into a human, that'd let you sit down. You also would be able to wear normal clothes instead of using jackets as diapers," Pete pointed out.
I lifted my head off the desk and stared at the two, adjusting myself to look somewhat professional, "Nah, I'm good. As long as I'm in this form, no one knows how I look like in human form. That can come in handy later," I said as I organized the papers in front of me in preparation for our meeting.
I examined the two former slaves who helped me take over the ship, committing their appearance to memory.
Sandokan looked like an old, weathered Michael Duncan with the Weeknd's new haircut, but with old white hair. Shit, if Sando had the Weeknd's old hairdo I'd throw him off the ship. The Tigerman had a small, scraggly white beard that was about three or four inches long. Lastly was his eyes: a green eye in his left, and a blue eye on his right. He had taken some marine clothing for himself, wearing a jacket similar to mine, except he didn't look like a giant, black Captain Underpants with a hair of mane like me. He looked at me with patience.
I turned to Pete. Peter Mara, now that I thought about it, looked almost identical to the actor who played Quicksilver in the Avengers. No, he looked exactly like Quicksilver, long silver hair and all. It was uncanny, except for the goatee he had. He was wearing the typical sleeveless Marine uniform, the only thing missing was that wack, blue rag around their neck that only Fred from Scooby-Do would wear. He instead used it as a bandanna. His green eyes looked at me with impatience.
I turned to Jean Bart. He looked like how Bart would look like in real life, not the shitty Netflix version. He was big, his neck was inhumanly thick, and he was the king of resting bitch face. He was always either frowning, scowling, or sneering: like he always had a pebble in his shoes and could never get it out. The thing that struck me about Bart though was how real he was. Especially since he looked at me with a respect I really didn't think I deserved.
That sounds stupid, realness, but it's like seeing an elephant for the first time in person. Seeing its' breathing, the movement and twitches of its eyebrows as it looked around. The life in its eyes as it contemplated it's elephant thoughts and ate its elephant peanuts. The swatting of its elephant tail, the inhalation of its massive lungs and the shifting and stretching of its grey, rough skin as a result. That was how it felt like looking at Jean Bart, the awe of realizing that the thing standing in front of you is real. A living breathing reality.
It was as if Bugs Bunny jumped out of your TV screen and said, "What's up, doc?" But it wasn't a giant cartoon character and instead was a four-foot-tall living, breathing rabbit. That also fucking talked. It was surreal.
It also sobered me up when I realized I'd probably be fighting people as big or bigger than Bart. I was half his height and Jean Bart was still way too fucking big. It was like a Featherweight boxer vs a Heavyweight. I can't even imagine fighting true giants...
I shook those thoughts out of my head and focused up. When everyone was ready, I pushed a piece of paper forward towards the two men in front of my desk. Jean squinted his eyes to see the paper from his seat outside the window.
"Do any of you know who 'Joker' is?" I asked as I looked between the two Devil Fruit users in front of me.
Sandokan shook his head, but I instantly could tell Pete knew as he nodded his head as slow as a glacier. Sweat dripped down his face as he read some of the instructions in front of him from 'Joker'.
The Pistonman looked at us in fear, his face a ghostly white as all his confidence was gone at the sight of the letters, "He's the most powerful man in the underworld. Weapons, slavery, illegal goods, smuggling... the man has his fingers in almost everything. If this was one of his operations..." he finished, visibly shaking.
Well, that reaction wasn't good for me; but it was exactly what I needed. I knew I was in deep shit, but I needed him to tell everyone that.
I continued to play dumb, "How do you know about this 'Joker'? How how much do you know about him?"
He shook his head violently, as though if he denied it hard enough he could the situation disappear, "Everyone with a shred connection to the Underworld knows that man! As for what I know of him...not much, but he has connections to the Five Families in the West Blue. He sells weapons to the families and the smaller gangs there," he looked around, terror in his eyes.
Damnit, I knew a lot about ol' Pink Boa, but nothing relevant to my current situation. It wasn't important if he sold shit in the West Blue, that's not here! And I don't give a fuck if I knew every character in the Dressrosa arc by name, damn it, especially if I was half a world away from that country. Fuck me, Peter didn't even convey properly how fucked we might be. I needed relevant info on Doffy's activity in the North Blue and to get these other two to know the severity of the situation...that also led me to another issue...
"Well, alright. That's not very helpful, but its something..." I said in frustration.
Sandokan raised his hand like a student in a classroom. I looked at him oddly, before nodding towards him to speak.
"Thank you. If I may interrupt, I think we have more immediate matters than this 'Joker' character," the Tigerman said calmly, but with a serious look on his face.
"What do you mean?" I said, confused.
"We don't have a clear command structure. While you've taken the position of de facto captain, for now, there's nothing official. And we still haven't settled on a hierarchy."
He was right. I turned to Jean, who was nodding his head in agreement. The giant spoke up, his gravelly voice immediately commanding attention, "And, we aren't sure if you should be captain either."
My eyes narrowed at Jean's head. I turned back to see Sandokan with his arms crossed and Peter with his fingers intertwined on his lap like a businessman. Pistonman was looking serious, managing to stop trembling enough to look intimidating. I could tell these three assholes were thinking the same thing: they wanted to be captain. And they were ready to fight for it.
I had expected something like this might happen, considering the people I was on the ship with. From what I've seen, these three could easily be the captains of their own pirate crews. For Jean, I knew for a fact he previously was. Even Peter, probably the weakest and most 'normal' human out of us four, was strong enough to sweep a squad of Marines without a problem.
But I'll be damned if I'd give up control of this ship to anyone else. I freed everyone. I started this shit. I'll die before I have this ship taken from me
I steepled my fingers on the table in front of me. It was supposed to be an intimidating gesture, but I was nine feet tall and looked like a fat grown man at a kindergarten table. I still did my best to come across as professional and as intimidating as possible, given the circumstances.
"Fuck you guys. This is my ship and I'll fight you three if I have to," I said without fear or hesitation.
Sandokan narrowed his eyes while Peter had a cocky smile on his face. Jean stared back at me with a sneer. Time seemed to stretch on forever in the silence of that cabin. All of tensing up, ready to see who would make the first move...
Jean Bart shifted his body, ready to stick his arm through the window and beat me down into paste with his tree branch arms. Sandokan unwrapped his arms and flexed his fingers like unsheathing claws, no doubt waiting to transform and cut me up into ribbons. Peter cracked his neck and rolled his right shoulder, hand balled into a fist, preparing to use his piston ability to turn me into tenderized meat. They were ready for a fight...
My body tensed up as I prepared myself for the battle ahead.
And in a blink of the eye.
They laughed?
In Jean Bart's case, he was chuckling. The other two were dying of laughter: Sandokan was doubled over slapping his knee in laughter, while Peter's head was rolled back, holding his stomach and pointing at me in a fit of hysterical laughter.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOU'RE FACE! YOU WERE SO SERIOUS! PFFFAFAFAFA!" The Pistonman as tears of laughter streamed down his face.
"I'LL KILL YOU SILVER-HEADED ASSHOLE!" I yelled back at Pete, but he just kept laughing.
Sandokan was the first one to settle down and explain, "One of the Marines you allowed to roam free explained to me that you planned on making a crew. The three of us discussed it over and decided that, if you did, we'd join you. But..."
Bart spoke up from his position at the window, "But I refused to follow someone who wasn't willing to fight for the position. If you didn't have the character to stand up to us, you'd never be able to lead a pirate crew. So that's why we did this,"
Sandokan nodded, "Yes. It's one thing to be a pirate, another to be a pirate captain. You need strength, the willingness to use it and a goal. That's what's important to me: a captain's goal! A captain without a worthy goal is one I won't ever follow. So, before we continue, what is your goal?"
I smiled at the old man. There was no doubt in my mind what I wanted.
"I'm going to be the greatest pirate ever... I want adventure! Fame, fortune, and one thing!" I said without hesitation, dopamine shooting me up with excitement and happiness, adrenaline shocking me with energy like a defibrillator.
I knew the next two words would change my life forever.
"One Piece!" I roared with a huge, toothy, shameless smile. The three of them looked at me with wide eyes, as though shocked and taken aback by something.
I slammed my fist on the table and then pointed at the three of them. "We might be knee-deep in shit, but I'm going to see One Piece! If I become Pirate King or not, I want to see what the One Piece is with my very own eyes! No matter what!"
Sandokan looked at me with awe...and nostalgia? The Tigerman shook his head, smiled, then started roaring with laughter, "I thought these old bones had gotten too tired to be a pirate! Here comes another kid that thinks he can reach One Piece!"
He kept laughing as he slapping his knee. I started getting annoyed as his laughing started to stretch on beyond my liking. But, before I could say something, he stared at me with such intensity and faith that I stared at him in awe. I felt strange, like an enormous burden was now placed on my shoulders. He roared, "Fortune favors the bold! I'll bet on you, Jay!"
I stared mutely at the man. A grunt from Jean broke me out of my wonderment and brought my attention back to the big man.
"You freed me. I still have a debt to pay off. I'll follow you too, Captain," Jean Bart said with a grin. That meant a lot coming from him, considering all Jean did was frown, sneer, or look annoyed; some times all three simultaneously.
Peter just shrugged, "I just need a ship to stay on. I don't care who's the captain, even if it's you," he ended dismissively.
I glared at the man who just ruined my awesome moment, "Man, fuck you and your father!"
Pete began thrashing around as Sandokan held him back from attacking me, "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU OVER-SIZED IMP! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME!?"
"Tch," I ignored Pete and continued, "alright. I'm the captain of this ship. But before I accept you into my crew, I need to know a bit about you guys and why you're in the North Blue."
That caught them off guard. That's what you three get for pulling a fast one on me. Bitch, this was my ship. They could sail on it, but that didn't mean they were in my crew. A ship and a crew were two different things. While we fought alongside each other, I didn't know who they were. And look how well that went for Thatch.
I pointed to Jean Bart, "You first."
Not unexpectedly, he sneered, "I was born here. I've been pirating here for the last few years with my own crew. Only recently did I decide to journey to the Grand Line... But I was defeated by another pirate and his crew. Then captured by the Marines before I could even set foot on those waters..."
The giant man snarled then elaborated on his story, "Me and my crew managed to escape the other pirate crew, but we were in bad shape. 'Course, that's when we were attacked by 'Black Cage' Hina. She captured us, but Captain Leonard was the one who was in charge of transporting us to prison," Jean finished his explanation with a grunt.
I nodded my head and pointed to Sandokan. He nodded and started his explanation, arms crossed and eyes closed.
"I was born here as well. I came back here to live a peaceful life of retirement. I was working as a handyman in Notice. But it only lasted a year before I was ratted out by a client who found out I was pirate. He had the bounty poster and everything. All because he didn't want to pay me for fixing the roof on his damn house," he said with a humorless chuckle, though there was amusement on his lips.
"Alright, what about you?" I said as I pointed to Peter.
The Pistonman shrugged, "I came from the West Blue to form my own pirate crew! With a small loan and a dream in my heart, I set sail to escape the wickedness of the Five Families, forever at grips with on-"
I saw where this was going, so I cut him off, hard, "Hey! HEY! Give me the cliff notes!"
He gave me a dirty look, "Cliff notes? What are you babbling about you ogre?!"
I snarled, "Shut up Piston-Penis. Tell me the short version!"
He frowned, "Fine! I was arrested for 'intent to create a pirate crew'. Like the other two here, I was transferred to this ship and became a slave. I believe they forged or lost the paperwork so we would disappear, or so I overheard the Marines say."
"You would be right," I pulled out a stack of paperwork for prison delivery, "None of us were being delivered to any prison base or, thank god, Impel Down. I'm surprised they even went out of their way to grab me," I said as I rubbed my chin.
The rest of them looked angry and upset, but they weren't surprised how evil most of the Marines on this ship were. I mean, we dealt with them so we know, but having signed paperwork felt...different. Almost made the evil official. Routine and trivial...
I stared at Peter. I noticed a discrepancy in his backstory. Something didn't make sense to me.
"So...why did you leave the West Blue to come to the North Blue? You didn't have to come to the strongest Blue to make a crew," I asked the Pistonman, genuinely curious.
Except, I was curious in the same way a police officer was curious why a burglar had his hands in a safe.
Sandokan nodded, "That is a good question. There's no reason to come to the North Blue. Not unless you were running away from something..." he said knowingly, probably a step ahead of me.
Peter looked at both of us and gave us this weird, tiny, oval smile. His eyes grew innocent as he shrugged, his arms curved upward above his head as though he stopped in the middle of a ballerina pirouette.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. The North Blue is my favorite sea!~" the liar said in a sing-song voice.
I pointed one of my index fingers at Peter and scowled, "Tell me everything or I won't let you stay on the ship, let alone be in my crew," I said, dead serious.
The man scowled at me before crossing his arms and turning away, "Fine, fine! I didn't have a loan... Just so happens I may have stolen some money from one of the Five Families. And a fruit as well."
I slowly moved my face back onto the desk. I prepared my self for what he was about to say, "Ignore me. P-please...please continue...", I lied, my voice strained like I was having a prostate exam.
"What? The man I stole from was Capone Bege," he said as though it were nothing.
My face hit my desk so hard I made a hole in the stupid thing.
I lifted my head up to looked at the three of them. They looked concerned, as well as confused, as to my reaction.
"How much money was it that you stole?" I asked, voice as dead and lifeless as possible.
"Maybe one hundred million berry?~" He said sing-song again with his stupid tiny smile, innocent eyes, and weird-ass shrug.
"A HUNDRED MILLION BERRY?!" Sandokan and I yelled at the same time. Even Jean Bart looked slightly perturbed; the bastard rarely emoted, but even I could tell he was shocked.
I turned my head to Jean Bart, now realizing who the pirate that fucked him up was. But I asked anyway because, apparently, I was a masochist for bad news and needed to make my nightmares into physical reality.
"And who was the pirate that beat you and your crew up?"
"It was Basil Hawkins and his Hawkins Pirates," he snarled, his eyes filled with visions memories of his battle with the pirate known as 'Magician'. Or I assumed was a battle and not completely one-sided beatdown of Jean and his crew.
I groaned, a headache coming on, "Does that mean he is still on this Blue?"
Jean Bart growled, rage in his eyes. I growled in rage and frustration my self. I wanted to fling myself into the ocean and let my devil fruit weakness sink me to the bottom of the ocean floor.
Sandokan gave me a look of confusion, "Now hold on a second, what's the problem here? Other than 'Joker' and the Marines, we don't have anything to worry about. We need to start making immediate plans on what to do with the ship."
I looked at him with one eye squinted, "What do you mean 'what's the problem'? We have three groups after us and another one that's roaming this Blue like the Grim Reaper! We only have four people on the ship that can hold their own and aren't cannon-fodder. And, no offense to them, but the rest are ex-slaves. Most of them are just regular people, some even kids."
Sando put his hands up, gesturing me to calm down before speaking, "Way I see it, we're fine. This 'Joker' is expecting the slaves in a month. The Marines won't know about this ship being stolen for about two weeks. This, Capone Bege, doesn't know where Peter is. And, while Basil Hawkins' crew is powerful, that isn't an issue right now."
I started spinning my index fingers around each other before speaking, "Wait, back that up. How do you know the Marines won't know about this ship for two weeks? You're other three points make sense...but how can you know about the Marines?"
Not that I had any worries Sando was a Marine snitch, but I dunno...I'm a suspicious dude.
He nodded before speaking, "I understand you're concern. For the sake of trust, I'll admit I was a Marine in my youth before becoming a pirate. So I know most of their protocols."
I rubbed my chin again, and idea forming, "Why only two weeks, can't we stay hidden longer?"
He shook his head, "No. Marine ships radio back to their base every two weeks to update their last known location, as well as to get a passphrase that prevents this very scenario from happening for too long," Sando said as he extended his arms to, er, use this exact scenario as an example, "from the logs in the communication cabin, they had just radioed in two days ago and received a new phrase. As for staying hidden...we, um, threw the communications officer overboard during the brawl and we can't seem to find the passphrase... and the protocol for, 'Sorry, we lost the passphrase!' is to come back immediately. The Marines don't play around. You'd be surprised how often Marine ships get hijacked," he shrugged.
Can't I get some fucking luck, please!?
I squeezed the bridge of my nose and sighed, "Ok, well at least we have two weeks before the Marines are after us. And a month before 'Jok...Man fuck this," I huffed in frustration.
I'm not going to hide my knowledge.
The three of them looked at me in confusion as I cut myself off mid-sentence and began digging for a clean sheet of paper. I managed to find one and scribbled down a 'contract'. The three of them continued to look at me perplexed, Sando shrugging when Peter looked at him for answers.
When I was done, I slapped the paper on what remained of my table with one hand and gestured at it with my other like I was showing them a brand new car, "Alright! This is a contract for my crew. The Oni Pirates!"
The two of them looked at the contract in front of them. All it said was, 'ONI PIRATES MEMBERSHIP CONTRACT - Those below are part of the crew:', followed by a bunch of hastily drawn rows and columns. Jean squinted in confusion, while Peter was far less subtle in is criticism.
"Are you stupid or something?! That's not a contract! That's a bunch of boxes! What's wrong with you? Are you illiterate?" he squinted at me, almost genuine in his concern for my lack of literacy.
I sneered at the Pistonman, "If I was illiterate I wouldn't have been able to write the title at the top, asshole! We sign it with our fingerprints in blood. Right in these boxes. It'll serve as proof we're crewmates. Here, let me show you."
I bit the tip of my thumb with my sharp, demonic teeth. I found myself bitting harder than I thought, even with dagger-like teeth and the full force of my jaw muscles. My skin was tough, god damn. After a minute of chewing on my thumb like a giant baby, doing my best to open injury myself and failing, I managed to open up a small drop of blood.
I squished my thumb onto the first box, a giant bloody fingerprint being left behind. I then signed my name underneath it.
"See?!" I said, holding a thumbs-up sign with my blood left thumb.
Peter shook his head, "Oh yeah, what about Bart here? How is he supposed to leave his fingerprint?"
Jean Bart raised a hand for us to see through the window. I grimaced at the size of his hands, his thumb alone was almost as big as a man's head. His fingerprint would take up an entire paper by its self. I feel sorry for his poor future wife, holy shit.
But I refused to admit I was wrong to Peter, because I'm a petty and spiteful asshole, "Fuck it! I'll use more paper! Now are you guys going to sign over you're soul to me or what?"
The three of them looked confused and slightly startled. Sandokan spoke up, his hand covering his mouth as if he were whispering, "Are you using your demon powers on us?"
"NO! You're the one who told me about my powers in the first place! Wait...do I have soul contract powers?!" I said, excitedly.
"No," The old man said dismissively. A slick, trolling smile on his face
"ASSHOLES! ALL OF YOU! WHAT THE FUCK THEN IS THE PROBLEM?!" I roared in annoyance.
Sandokan laughed at my expense. He bit down on his thumb and placed his bloody fingerprint in the box people mine, then he signed his name.
Peter sighed and followed next. I was annoyed at how dismissive of the whole thing he was.
Jean Bart frowned as he flailed his arm into the cabin and started knocking shit around. I had to guide his bloody thumb onto a fresh sheet of paper before he tore apart my cabin.
After that was settled, I nodded and placed the paper in front of us, "We are now officially the Oni Pirates!"
Two of them roared out a resounding 'Yes!", with all their resolve, while Peter rang out with all the enthusiasm as wet tissue paper. But even Peter's lackluster effort wasn't to rain on my parade. A tingle ran down my spine upon realizing what just happened.
This was it. My crew! The beginning of my journey!
I smiled and pumped my arms above my head, "YES! GAHAHA! WOOO!", only for my excitement to disappear the moment I smashed a hole through the roof of my cabin from suddenly standing up.
"GOD DAMN IT!"
The rest of my crew laughed.
+X+
After clearing out the wreckage that I had created from my celebration, we continued the meeting. But I had to say something before we restarted.
"Alright. Since you guys were honest with me and are my crewmates now, I have to tell you guys something. It might be sound stupid, but it's true. Ok?", I said like a nervous kid telling his crush that he liked 'em. Or a kid telling his friends something cool and personal and hoping that they find it just as cool.
The three of them nodded. Or well, two of them nodded and one of them rolled his eyes. Fuck you, Peter.
I smiled, a rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins as I readied myself for what I was going to say.
"I'm from another world," I said a seriously as I could, but my smile kept fighting me to come out. They didn't react...so I spread my arms out like 'tada!'
Still nothing...
Sandokan looked at me with pity and confusion, as though all the excitement got to my head. I turned to Jean, who looked at me impassively, but I could see in his eyes that he was starting to doubt his choice of joining me. Peter wasn't subtle at all.
"Did the Marine captain knock some screws loose from your head?"
I scowled at the man, "No! It's true! I'm from another world! One completely different than this. In fact, we have more continents than the Red Line. Seven in fact. We have things like planes, cars, and technology way more advanced than this..." I stopped as I looked up to see them staring at me like I was a nutcase.
They stared at me with genuine concern in their eyes. To my chagrin, Peter started to tear up.
"He's finally broke under slavery," the Pistonman said, completely seriously as he started to cover his wet eyes with one of his forearms, unnecessarily dramatic.
"I WAS BARELY A SLAVE FOR A DAY!" I roared and pointed at the damn silver-haired asshole.
"He's gone hysterical!" Peter said in a high-pitched voice as he pointed to me like some scared Victorian-age woman.
"I'm going to beat you to death with this desk!" I screamed, lifting the desk up an inch off the ground without issue.
The Pistonman's eyes widened in thoughtfulness and surprise, "Wait, so you haven't cracked under the pressure? You're your normal self? You're being serious?" he said, awe in his voice.
I placed the desk down gently and sighed with relief. Finally, someone believed me. Can't believed it was Peter though, "Yeah. I haven't 'cracked'. I'm my normal self, and I'm being serious."
Peter looked at me strangely before pointing at me like a child and declaring, "So you're just crazy?!"
"I'M NOT FUCKING CRAZY! IT'S THE TRUTH!" I roared at the idiot.
Sandokan raised his hands, gesturing us to calm down, "Alright, settle down you two. It's kinda hard to believe it. You're starting to sound like Liar Noland."
I looked at the old man with dead seriousness, "That man wasn't a liar. Mont Blanc Noland really did see a city of gold..." That storyline was heartbreaking...as well a lesson on what could happen to me.
I realized as I saw the looks of disbelief on their faces that I was sounding like a man who swore he saw bigfoot or aliens. Ya' know, real hardcore crazy shit. People who talked like that back home went to the asylum...or give 'em a talk show or something, shit. Either way, even if I did come across as sincere and credible...no matter what I said or did, without evidence, I was as good as a liar. Don't let it be said I don't learn from others: Ussop's and Noland's sacrifices were not in vain.
A grimace appeared on my face, "Yeah, I'm just fucking with you all. Just pulling your legs. Let's move on to the rest of our meeting..." I said with barely hidden frustration.
Sando looked at me, he knew I was upset, "Jamal, you have to under-"
"Don't worry about it. I'm messing with you all, OK?!" I said, maybe a little bit too harshly, but I was annoyed.
Sando sighed and nodded, "Well, first we-"
"Nope," I said, cutting off the older man. I was in charge of this meeting, "We still have more important things to discuss."
"Jamal, we have-", Sandokan started, only to for me to cut him off again.
"Sando, I'm the captain of this crew. And while I appreciate you're input, you already hijacked the direction of this meeting. Yes, I understand we have immediate things to work on, but we won't work on them until after this meeting is done anyways. So, the quicker I get done with what I need to say, the quicker you can get to say you're piece."
Sando looked...not angry, but bordering on frustration and disrespect. I don't think he was ready for me to pull rank so quickly. But he nodded nonetheless.
"Good. You'll realize how important this is the moment I start."
I shifted through the papers I found while rummaging through the Captai- MY cabin and found the papers I needed. I slapped them onto the table: the Seven Warlords of the Sea's bounty-frozen wanted posters. They looked like standard wanted posters. But their bounty prices had a line struck through them.
"This one, right here," I pointed to the smiling blonde man in stylized sunglasses. Old Pink Boa himself.
"This is 'Joker'. Donquixote Doflamingo. One of the Seven Warlords of the Sea. That's who's operation we've fucked over."
Now Sandokan and Jean looked properly nervous. Pale faces, dilated pupils, open mouth, sweating: the whole nine yards baby! I guess having a vague enemy didn't make things real enough, but even they knew who Doffy was. They better, Jesus.
Sandokan's shaking hand covered his mouth before speaking, "Well, that isn't good at all. I can see now why you wanted to get to this first," he said while nodding. His previous feelings toward me probably felt silly by comparison.
"Yeah. I don't know shit about the North Blue, see. Believe me or not about my origins, I have zero info on this world when it comes to this sea. But you guys do," I said, pointing to them each.
To my surprise, Jean was the one who answered, "Decades ago, as a rookie, Donquixote rampaged through the North Blue before heading off to the Grand Line around ten years ago. He arrived like an explosion, quickly becoming a Warlord of the Sea, and only two years later becoming the King of Dressrosa."
My eyebrows shot up at all the information he knew, "You sure know a lot about this guy, huh?"
Jean frowned, then sneering before speaking, "That's because every pirate from the North Blue knows about him. He's the measuring stick for all us North Bluers. If you ignore that he's a Warlord, and outside the Yonkou, he might be closest to being Pirate King... What I do know from living in this Blue is... this 'Joker' persona fits him like a glove."
Sandokan turned to Jean and nodded, "Aye. That man is the owner of the North Blue... in everything but name. I'd wager the only force that might surpass him in the North Blue is the Germa Kingdom, and that's with a huge 'maybe'."
The Tigerman rubbed his chin again, coughed lightly, and then frowned, "While this isn't good, we still have plenty of time to get out of this Blue. Doflamingo is expecting the slaves in a month. Even after he finds they haven't arrived, it may take weeks before he can send people to properly investigate. At the moment he's not an immediate concern."
He pointed a thumb behind him as he spoke, "And again, the Marines won't figure out their ship is missing for twelve more days. Even when they find out, it'll take weeks for them to get to this ship's last recorded location. So we only need to worry about the Marines for now."
I shook my head, gladly wishing that were the truth, "I'd love if it were that simple, but Donquixote has connections in the Marines. I know for a fact this ship is owned by one of his subordinates. A Vice Admiral by the name of Vergo. We have two weeks until they find out their ship's been taken."
Sandokan looked like he was punched in the gut. I turned to see Peter...damn near ready to pass on to the afterlife. White as a ghost on the ground, his legs twitching like a dead cockroach.
"Peter...you ok?" I said, genuinely concerned about his mental state.
"B-but my life has only just begun...I hadn't even begun to create my legend...," he reached out towards the ceiling, as though desperately trying to touch something.
"Whelp, Peter's clocked out," I shook my head in frustration, "from what you're telling me, Sando, we only have like, three weeks until the world is after us."
"Yes," the old man said gravely, "considering Donquixote is 'Joker' as well, his resources and connections will be...beyond what we can expect. We won't know who is an ally or who is an enemy. We have to be prepared for anything."
Peter kneeled at my desk like a man praying for forgiveness at the feet of God, "But we're just slaves, right. We couldn't have cost him that much money, right? Right?! What if I put on my collar again?!" he said, delusional.
I scoffed, "I did the math already, there were...I found the prices for slaves in this cabin and let's keep it at that. On average a human slave sells for at least half a million berry. Round down to eight hundred slaves, that's four hundred million berry right there, alone."
He looked at me like I killed his entire family. And his little dog too. Shit, I wasn't even done yet.
"There's about five hundred rifles and pistols each. As many swords too...and ammo. That's another, I'd say, eighty-one million berry. Then if you factor in the cost of the ship in lost revenue over the course of.."
Peter's eyes rolled to the back of his head before I even finished, foam spewing from his mouth as he passed out on the floor. The Pistonman, 'renown through the world', was OUT! Ding, ding, ding. KO!
"Why'd you have to do that to him?" Sando said with an amused smile, but it was mostly forced. The Tigerman as sweating bullets.
"'Cause, he has to know how serious of a situation we're in. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. As my crew, I'm going to always be honest with you guys. So be honest with me: if you want to leave that's fine. I'd understand with all the things we're facing," I said seriously and honestly.
Jean scoffed, "I already have a debt to you. And if the man who's responsible for all this is after us, then I'll be happy to fight that bastard," the giant snarled.
Sando nodded in agreement, "Aye. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know you're not going to be leaving this boat, are you?"
Peter gargled.
I looked back at Sando and chuckled. I guess it was that obvious I wanted this ship. It was a BATTLESHIP for fuck's sake! It has paddles and a seastone hull! And I doubled checked I had those two things. I could sail the calm belt as long as the ship had enough fuel. The only thing that sucks for my crew was starting off we such a powerful enemy right from the bat...
Motherfucker, give me Buggy as a starter villain, not fucking Donquixote Doflamingo. Shiiit, I'll take Arlong and his whole damn crew. Right now.
But I pressed through my worries, a large smile on my face as I answered Sando, "Of course. This is my ship. Plus, other than the shitty blue coloring, it has everything we need as flagship for my fleet!" I said without a hint of humility.
"You don't think small, do you, Jay?" Sando said with a smile and a chuckle.
"No, no I do not! Gahaha!" I laughed out loud before settling down and getting back to business.
"Alright. So let's finish this part of the meeting. We have about three weeks before the Marines and Pink Boa are after us. We don't need to worry about this guy's problem for now, " referencing the unconscious Pistonman's issues, "and the only other dangerous 'unknown' is Basil Hawkins' crew, but we can't worry about that for now. Is that about all the threats we have mapped out?"
Jean and Sando nodded in agreement. Peter gargled.
"Alright. We'll move on to what you wanted to talk about Sando," I gestured to the older gentlemen to start.
He smiled, "Thank you. I'd thought you would've forgotten. Call me a fool for thinking that. Anyways, we don't have enough people to man a ship like this with only four."
Jean spoke up, "Yeah. And the slaves are getting restless. We've been adrift for two days with no plan or direction."
Sando nodded, "Exactly, it's an issue that'll explode if we don't fix it. Luckily, I have a plan..."
+X+
A few hours later I stood at the door of my cabin, staring out at the top deck of the ship like I was on standing in front of a presidential podium. Flanking me was Sando to my right and Peter to my left. Jean was so big that he stood on the level below us and his head was still at our eye level. The semi-giant had his arms crossed, looking like a bouncer-dog-thing, scoping out for trouble in a club, or a dog park. He still hadn't changed out of his brown, slave rags. There wasn't anything big enough for him to wear, outside the masts maybe.
Sando had his arms at his hips and a large smile on his face. Peter stood confidently, if a little pasty looking from passing out before. Jean had his arms crossed, scowling. Daring anyone to cause trouble. He still hadn't changed out of his brown, slave rags. There wasn't anything big enough for him to wear, outside maybe the masts.
The reason why Jean was on edge was that we were standing in front of close to a thousand people. Or as many as could fit on the top deck of this ship. Slave, Marine; everyone was here.
I sighed and cleared my throat as everyone stared at me. Hundreds of eyes looking at me, wide with anticipation, with a focus on me. God damn Sandokan and his plans.
"Alright, everyone! You all know me as the man who broke you from you're chains-" I couldn't continue. The roar of the cheering slaves drowned out anything I could yell.
I beamed.
I stared at the crowd in front of me. Men, women, children, elderly. Every slave was dirty, tired, and wearing brown slave rags. They all had old, red marks from where the collars and shackles had bound them. Many of them had horrible injures from all the abuse they took for months. When I walked through the decks of this ship and saw the condition the slaves were in...I thought all hope had been beaten out of them, all the joy and life ripped out of their very souls. As though dead, inanimate husks to be shipped off like wood.
But in front of me, every single person was overcome with so much passion, strength, and joy that I was struck dumb. It was like night and day. They were free. They were alive.
I looked around at the scene unfolding in awe.
People were throwing things in the air, anything at hand, in celebration; as if it was midnight on New Year's. I don't know where they got hold of those weapons, but some men had pistols in their hands. They were hooting and hollering, shooting them into the air guns akimbo. Children were staring up to me like I was a superhero, being hugged by their mothers who looked at me like I was the greatest man on the planet. As if from now on I was to be their children's role model. There were groups of people hanging off the railings and masts from pure elation, reaching out to me as if a single touch could bestow them a lifetime of happiness. Even some old men, far beyond me in age and wisdom, looked up at me with reverence and admiration.
Many of these battered, broken people were at death's door only a few days ago. Most of them were ready and eager to die. But now they were filled with so much vigor...so desperately ready to live! To live, dream, and go out into the world and fulfill their absolute potential in life! To go out and grab hold of their destiny!
They...they really thought the world of me. They thought I was their savior...
Someone was going to steal their experiences, their connection, their happiness away from the world? Someone was going to take this much greatness away from the world? All this potential? All this life?
I cried from sorrow at the sight of all these beautiful people, at the idea that anyone of us could be them, snuffed out forever by the simple whims of a single man. I cried from joy over the understanding that they thought so much of me, that they had such love for a nobody like me for one simple act. But more than, I cried because they were free and happy.
And yet someone decided they were less than human? That they deserved to be slaves? That their freewill and dreams were nothing? To extinguish their burning passion to live?
The last emotions to make me cry were a pair: sheer indignation and rage.
I felt a hand on my right shoulder. I turned to see Sando smiling fiercely. His nod was all the encouragement I needed.
I gripped the railing in front of me so hard it was almost reduced to splinters. I roared passionately out to the crowd, "WE ARE FREE! NO ONE WILL TAKE OUR FREEDOM AND RIGHT TO LIFE! NO ONE WILL STAMP OUT OUR BURNING WILL TO LIVE! TO THOSE WITH FAMILIES! YOU ARE FREE! TO LIVE PEACEFULLY AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN! SO THAT THEY CAN GROW TO CHANGE THE WORLD! SO THEY CAN MAKE THEIR DREAMS A REALITY! AND TO THOSE WHO HAVE NO PURPOSE! TO THOSE THE WORLD HAS TRAMPLED! TO THOSE WHO THE WORLD HAS CAST OFF...LET ME OFFER YOU A PURPOSE..."
I released my hold from the railing and extended my arms toward the crowd, offering them all my hands in cooperation, "COME WITH ME SO WE CAN SEE ONE PIECE TOGETHER!"
The crowd looked on, eyes wide and taken aback. As though physically hit by the force of my words. I repeated them, so as to make sure they knew damn well I meant it. I threw my fists into the air above me and roared:
"LET'S SEE ONE PIECE TOGETHER!"
The ocean exploded with the cheers of those once damned and dying, now blessed and filled with the will to live.
+X+
Basil Hawkins stared at his tarot cards. Outside he was impassive as always, but inside he was perplexed.
"How odd. Fate has changed," the man said as his ship sailed toward Notice.
His crewmate, Faust the Zou Black Cat answered, "Oh? How so?"
The Captain of the Hawkins Pirates continued to look impassively at his cards, "The danger of our trip has increased...to one hundred percent."
The cat's eyes widened in surprise, "An-and what was the chance before Captain?" replied in his dignified voice.
Basil Hawkins continued to stare at the cards, trying to understand what could have changed so drastically in the North Blue.
"It was fated for zero."
+X+
"Ma'am!", said the Marine has he saluted his commanding officer.
"Report?"
"Regarding the prisoner delivery! It was as you suspected, Pirate Captain Jean Bart did not arrive at the 501st Branch in Lvneel, Ma'am!" said the Marine Ensign.
"Find the last location of Captain Leonard. Hina always hated that little weasel," said the Marine Captain name Black-Cage Hina.
+X+
Capone Bege sat in his luxurious chair, at his luxurious desk, in his luxurious office, in his luxurious, high-class restaurant that served as his front for his criminal organization. The Bege Family.
Sitting there in all his opulence and money, with not a threat or a challenge left in the West Blue, there was one thing he couldn't shake out of his head.
It was absolute boredom.
The man name nicknamed 'Gang' was the undisputed King of the West Blue Underworld. Time and time again he had decapitated the leadership of the other four families and allowed them to rebuild. All so he could enjoy the ensuing chaos that unfolded from the power vacuum. But after so many times it wasn't even entertaining anymore. It was just sad.
So, for the man who ruled and owned everything in the West Blue, there was nothing he could find in his domain that could ease his doldrum.
"Is this how's gonna' be for the rest of my life? Stupid silence? No challenges? Just sit on my 'thrown' and die on my ass?" the 'Boss of the West' said disappointingly, while chewing on a fat cigar.
He heard a knock on his door. Who the hell could it be?
"Yea', you can enter," said Capone with a sneer in his voice.
One of his subordinates entered, a brown-haired man in a gray pinstriped suit. Capone hated the man. The man thought he was bigger than he was. That he knew more than everyone. He didn't, the goon was just another bum with too big of a dream, and too little of brains. Still, he was useful. Maybe he would be useful now to relieve his boredom...
He gave a low bow before speaking, "Fatha', forgive me if I'mma' interruptin' somethin', but we got some info on da' guy who owes ya' money. Ya' know, the guy who wanted a loan ta' be a pirate?"
Capone remembered. The silver-haired bum came to him, begging on his knees for money. Said that'd he be a big shot pirate. Said he'd pay him back three-times the amount within three months. Said a lot of sweet somethings, but had a whole lotta' nothing to back it up. The guy always said sweet things and never learned. So he was tossed out on his ass from Capone's restaurant, his gift a simple beating and the good grace that Bege allowed the silver-haired idiot teeth to eat solid food.
But the man had the audacity to steal from the Father. Not only did he steal a hundred million berry, but also a priceless devil fruit he was to sell to at auction. He would admit, the man had balls. Too bad those balls would be placed on Capone's desk: cast in bronze and used to remind his enemies what happen when you steal from him.
"Fatha'," the underling said as he broke Capone from his thoughts, "A mole in the Marines said a man matchin' his description was arrested in the North Blue. Da' idiot couldn't even get a crew before gettin' caught."
Capone sneered. To think this was the person who managed to successfully steal from the most powerful Don in the West Blue.
"Fatha'," the man repeated, as though compelled to address Capone by title alone. And he would unless he had a death wish, "just say da' word and we can have a crew there in no time."
Capone turned to his subordinate and opened his mouth to say 'da' word', but stopped. And an idea struck him. A brilliant and terrible idea that would relieve his boredom.
Brilliant for him, terrible for the world.
A smile slowly spread across Bege's face. It was an ugly, cruel smile, the smile of a sadistic and bloodthirsty man.
The smile of a man who knew the world was his.
His to do as he wishes. To be his plaything.
"Bring me everyone," the Father said to his goon.
"Everyone boss?" the underling questioned in confusion.
"Everyone!" Capone growled menacingly as he rose up, tossing his luxurious chair behind him and knocking over his luxurious desk. He met the worthless man who dared question Capone Bege, staring him right in the eye while cocking back a fist. He punched the man in the face with the force of a castle, hitting him hard enough to send him flying through the door of his luxurious office. The man fell through a table in the dining area of his luxurious restaurant, the luxurious customers staring in panic and horror.
All these luxuries meant nothing to a man with his drive, talent, and intelligence. Money didn't matter when he could earn it all without any trouble. Power meant nothing when he had nothing to use it on. And influence meant little for a man who controlled everything. Even people were pawns Capone Bege's amusement. But now the pieces didn't move, and the players didn't play.
There was no challenge. No fun.
But that silver idiot thought he could be a pirate... That sounded like something good. Churn the seas with blood and chaos.
A real challenge. Real fun.
Hmm...he had to start somewhere. Maybe he'd start by sailing to the North Blue...and thank Peter Mara.
Personally.
+X+
Doflamingo laughed.
They found a Tiger Zoan? Caeser will be happy when he hears about that.
Now if only if Kaido would get off his back.
Hey all! I hope everything is going well for you and continues to go well!
The board has been set. The players have been gathered. Who will win the game that unfolds?
*Tron legacy music start playing now* DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
I will admit, this story is more fun to write than Hunter Hunter, but probably ten times harder since there are so many moving parts in the One Piece World.
Until next time dear readers!