Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, unfortunately. Please review! I'm quite new to this!
Just because Dib had laid claim to loving all of that weird paranormal stuff doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a bit of it too. True, he was extremely obsessive and definitely wrong about there being a ghost in their childhood home (It's amazing what you can do with a few spare holographic projectors and a voice modulator) but I have to admit there is probably a bit of merit to some of his beliefs. Even though I faked the ghost, it doesn't mean that ghosts are inherently an impossibility. Just means my stupid big-headed brother is gullible as hell. Right now he's off in Wisconsin or Wyoming trying to hunt bigfoot, which is definitely an interesting way to spend a gap year, if you ask me. I think he's right that aliens are real, not necessarily that they're going to arrive any minute and suck all our brains out or whatever. But it's likely that there's life elsewhere out there. It's easy to believe that anyway when you look at the stars at night. I'm not fond of a lot of things, or people, but I must admit that it's nice out here, in the middle of nowhere. When art school gets too stressful, it's nice to drive out to some field somewhere, look at the stars, and murder pigs on my gameslave. Best of both worlds!
It's my first year of college, and my first time on my own, although dib drops by in between his trips and dad's been by once. I actually am enjoying school for the first time in my life, which is interesting for me to say the least. I haven't felt the need to shove anybody down a laundry chute yet, so that's something. I'm going to study graphic design, and my dream is to create art for video games in the future. Maybe then I'll be guaranteed to get video games before the general public. Plus, next year I'll be 21, and no longer have to rely on Dib for alcohol, which means I'll have to put up with his paranormal stuff less.
I pause my gameslave and just observe the stars. This far away from civilization, you can see all the hundreds of meteors that burn up in the atmosphere. I wouldn't tell anyone I thought this, but it's beautiful. I could stay here for years and waste away if this night didn't end. Closing my eyes a bit just to absorb the sound of the crickets and the smell of the night air, I feel like the world has stopped spinning just for me.
Unfortunately, it seems nothing good can last forever. The wind is starting to pick up now, and it's making me cold. I can't believe another night is cut short for me, and just as I'm rolling up my towel, this loud noise interrupts my train of thought. It sounds like extremely loud and annoying whistling, and it's just getting louder by the second. Deeper sounding too, almost sounds like… a bomb? I had paused in place, looking at the ground to think about the noise, when I noticed a light growing from behind me.
"Shit." Turning around just in time to see this thing fly right over my head. I hit the ground faster than I ever thought I was capable of just to see this object smash into the ground a hundred feet in front of me. I can barely see it, and it's completely covered in fire.
'Holy shit, I was almost killed by a meteor. Dib is never gonna believe this.' Although… The fire looks like it's dying down a bit, and I don't think meteors are red or pink. Or shiny. Christ, it kinda looks like a spaceship. Oh my god that's a spaceship.
Um. Okay. I don't think there was a class on "what to do if a spaceship crash lands in front of you," but I can think of something. Uh… Oh! There's a fire extinguisher in my car. Okay, that's good, I'll get that and put out the fire. When I run up to this thing, I can see that it's roughly the size of a minivan but it looks like half of that is the engine, and the main part is the size of an old mini cooper. I'm about halfway done with the fire when I see… it. Him? Her? He, I guess, is about halfway out of the windshield on the other side of the ship.
'Okay. That's an alien. Cool.' The fire is almost out now, so I just drop the extinguisher and run to the other side to see this thing. He's face down, I think, and green. Like, really green. It's hard to see in this lighting but I'm pretty sure he looks like a granny smith apple. I'm just observing him when he moves. His hand moves. He's alive! Shit. Ignoring all those times Dib ranted about 'Don't touch aliens yadda yadda' I reach forward and grab it from under its arms and pull. God he's heavy. After I successfully pull him out onto the grass, I look inside the ship to see if there's any other aliens. There's a silvery metal box that I guess could be a suitcase, with some kind of insignia on it, and a small robot that's roughly the size of an eight year old. The head of the robot looks a little bashed in and it's not on. Still, mister Alien here would probably want those, so I carefully climb into the cockpit of this shit, all flashing lines and warning words I don't understand, and put Tinman under one arm, and grab the briefcase with the other.
'Ow, fucking glass. If it is glass.' I cut my hand on the windshield getting back out of the ship, and I am just… so tired. Okay next step, I guess I'm going to bring him back to my apartment if I'm really going through all this effort. I leave the alien and his stuff on the grass, and run and grab my car. Pulling it up next to the ship, I have the realization that what I'm doing is probably secretly illegal, so I better hurry. I toss the suitcase and the robot in the trunk, and get the backseat ready for my new passenger. He looks like he's bleeding and even though I have a crappy 2008 Nissan Sentra, I'm not particularly fond of alien blood on the carpet. So I lay my stargazing towel down as best as I can and go get E.T. When I lift him up and start dragging him, he moans a little, so he's still alive. Good. Unless he's here to take over or something, and then that would be bad.
It takes forever to get him in a position lying down in the backseat because he's so tall. I have to pull the passenger seat up and push his legs in just to fit him in there. Thankfully, I also keep a blanket in the car, so I have something to cover him with in case a cop stops me and asks if I happened to rescue any aliens recently.
Finally, with everything packed up and ready to go, I begin the hour long drive back to my apartment. He doesn't wake up the entire time, but he shifts and makes small noises here and there so he hasn't died yet. As I pull into the apartment parking lot I realize that the next step is to somehow get Alfie out of the car, and into my apartment, without anyone seeing him. Fuck.
Okay. Luckily it's 3 AM so not many people should be out and about, but this is a college town and everything is brightly lit. All the time. So… what now? Drag an alien upstairs that's what. Luckily my parking spot is in a lesser lit area farther from the building but unlucky for me is it's farther from the building which means I have to drag leggy even farther. Throwing the blanket dead center over his head, I begin my ascent. I throw one of his arms over my shoulder to try to make it easier, and to maybe fake the appearance of a drunk friend, but I am way not tall enough for this, and his boots are still dragging on the ground.
While doing the best workout I've done in a long time, I somehow make it all the way to my apartment without getting caught. I just have to delete the video feed before anyone sees it. After spreading some towels out on my bed and getting him on it, I can finally take a good look at him in proper light.
He does not look good. There's a big gash on his right shoulder and I'm pretty sure he leaked that dark green blood all over the apartment. I'm going to have to clean the hallway tonight. He's wearing this long red shirt thing with an uneven hem so it's shorter at the sides and longer at the front and back. Black pants, black boots, black gloves, nice style. He doesn't have a nose, but there are two slits in the center of his face that probably does the same thing, and he has antennae. It's a bug alien. Cool. There's another gash on his head so he probably has a concussion, and I should definitely bandage that.
Thankfully I have a first aid kid (thanks dad) so I can really get to work. I have to get the right sleeve off, so I pull off his glove and cut the sleeve off. Sorry E.T., I'll sew that back for you later.
It is not a pretty looking injury so I clean it with alcohol and do my best to stitch it. I am most definitely not a nurse, but I actually have surgical thread so I give it a shot. Again, thanks dad. The Alien doesn't seem to like this, as his face screws up and he grumbles in his sleep, but he has yet to wake up. After doing the same to the cut on his forehead and making sure the rest of him is okay, I put the same blanket from the car over him to keep him warm, and set about cleaning the apartment hall and lobby, then deleting all the security camera footage.
Finally, just as the sun begins to rise, I can go to sleep.