General Business: I don't own Bleach. That privilage belongs to the Almighty Kubo Sensei.

A/N: Another challenge I accepted about a year ago. Shuuhei introspective. I struggled for ages to meet the agreed wordcount but here it is, finally. Checkout my Pack family, TheDrunkenWerewolf, timewaster123456789, SesshomaruFreak, GanymedeLullaby, Spunky0ne and Salazar Marvolo. All are much more talented than I.

Enjoy, Review and Stay Safe.

Inner Hell!

Why? Why did you have to leave me here? Why did you choose them? Was I never good enough? After all I did for you, my undying loyalty for you as my Captain. You betrayed my trust. How dare you? My world now turned upside down. You always spoke of justice and how you were going to change the Seireitei for the better. Where is this justice you once spoke of?

All those years ago when I lost faith in my abilities. The time when I was afraid to do battle. I wanted you to relieve me of my seated position in the squad. I pleaded with you and you refused. You told me that 'Those who know not fear, have no right to stand in battle.' I believed you. Hung on your every word. That's why I stuck around. You knew you were going to leave, even then. Now I'm stuck as an acting Captain to a broken Squad. I don't know where to start. I am not cut out for this. I guess I'm just left to pick up the pieces.

Looking back, perhaps I should have been devoured by that hollow when I was younger. Or maybe killed by that menos when I was leading the freshmen on their World of the Living test mission. At least then, I wouldn't be suffering now.

"Hey, hey. Why so glum, partner?" Even Kazeshini has turned against me. As I struggle, he cackles at me, taunting me. His demonic face always haunting me in my mind. His voice mocking and vitriolic. I can't escape him.

Izuru is in the same boat as me, however he seems to be coping. I can't burden him more by asking for help. And Momo, dammit; she's still in intensive care after that bastard Aizen ran her through.

I never told anyone how I truly felt. No one knew. Not even Izuru. After all the years I was your subordinate, I grew to admire you. That admiration turned to love. Because of this, your defection with Aizen and Ichimaru hurt me even more. Your betrayal almost killed me. I couldn't cope. I was living in my own personal hell, as well as everyone else's.

Dammit, why can't I get past this? Captain. Why did you have to leave?

Your last words to us were 'The only paths that you see are the ones not dyed with blood. Those paths are the paths to justice.' How about the path you have taken? More blood has been shed over the past couple of days due to your companion's plan. Aizen attacked Momo in cold-blood and also Captain Hitsugaya. This path has more blood along its way. It's just a shame you can't see it.

Soon we will cross blades. Your friend Sajin, he and I are going to open your eyes to the suffering you have caused. We will force you to see what you have done. We will show you the true meaning of justice.