Note: After some good plot suggestion from hagadoe I must take some time to work more extensively on chapters three and four. That being said, I will be pretty inactive for about a week as I work on them. I hope you enjoy this chapter and how I placed and moved Amanda throughout it.

Chapter 2:

"Lady Amanda."

Quickly, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and forced a smile.

"Jimmy… Jim." I quickly corrected, "I apologise." wiping my nose with the back of my sleeve "It's been a while. How are you?"

"I am well, Lady Amanda" he reassured, "I couldn't help but hear your conversation with Spock, are you alright?" he asked, his voice low with concern.

"I am alright, Jim." I reassured, forcing the smile back on my lips "I guess I forget that he is suffering too, he always drew to the traditional Vulcan way of coping."

"Still it does not give him the right to ignore you." he responded. Even though I fought myself from responding, I couldn't help but nod slightly at his response. Spock was coping and unfortunately, I needed to give him space… as much as I didn't want to.

"It's okay." I continued softly, losing the battle with tears I sniffed a couple times but against my will, trickled down my cheeks. Jim wrapped his arms wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me in an embrace which I couldn't help but linger onto for longer than I probably should have.

"I'm sorry." I cried lightly, pulling away from his embrace "That was not appropriate of me. I'm sorry Jimmy- Jim!"

He chuckled lightly. "I can't remember the last time someone called me Jimmy." he said lightly. When I looked up at him there was remorse in his eyes. His voice was lighter and lighter with each word as the sadness filled his voice "My mother always called me Jimmy. Even when I insisted, she call me Jim."

"I remember." I smiled sadly, placing my hand gently on his arm. "It was the time we took you and Spock to the Andoria sector. You both were seven, I believe. Do you remember?"

"Of course, I do, it was the first time I had ever seen blue people" His brow rose in surprise "I was so intrigued".

"You and Spock both. I can still see the embarrassment on your face when your mother called you Jimmy in front of a group of children. From then on you insisted on being called Jim."

He nodded "A part of me misses it now that she's gone".

"She is always with you, Jim." I said caressing his arm gently with my thumb. Feeling the lump of sadness form back in my throat. I looked down and sniffed back tears as I tried not to remember the death of my old friend. Even with all the medical advances these days, a cure for cancer has yet to be discovered.

After a moment, I formed a mischievous smile and looked back up at Jim, "I can always revert back if you'd like, I'm sure your mother would be smiling wherever she may be if I called you Jimmy again."

"Oh no." letting out a chuckle that quickly turned into a soft laugh "Jim will do, thank you, Lady Amanda."

"Then when Sarek is not around, I prefer you call me by my name if you'd be so kind".

"Of course, Lad- uh, Amanda."

Over Jim's shoulder, I saw Sarek being escorted down the corridor by a crew member. Jim turned around and upon seeing Sarek shuffled to the side. He clasped his hands behind his back and bowed slightly.

"Ambassador Sarek, forgive me, I was just speaking with Lady Amanda."

"Good evening, James." Sarek bowed his head slightly, "I recall that you and my wife are old acquaintances. If you will excuse me, I was about to go to the canteen with my wife." Extending his hand, he offered his forefingers to me.

"Oh yes, Ambassador. Of course."

I turned to Jim and gave a friendly nod before saying "It was lovely speaking with you again."

Accepting my husband's forefingers, we made our way across the corridor to the canteen.

I stared at the chocolate cake longer than I should have. Sarek sat across from me in the partially empty canteen. I remember missing cake on Vulcan, giving any and everything to have it accessible… but now, I sudden lost all appeal for the food or all earth food for that matter. What I really wanted was T'Mera's Plomeek Soup.

But I had to eat. I could sense my husband's gawking eye as he scooped a spoon full of the vegetarian lasagna onto his fork. It was so silent as we sat at the table, normally during mealtimes it was far from silent. We would always communicate through our bond… and now the silence seemed so foreign and I hated it.

I couldn't help but try and reach my mind out to my husband. Lowering my walls, I reached my mind out to the partially empty space just beside my conscious, but still there was only silence, which caused more fear to well in the pit of my stomach. I flinched at the thought of him withdrawing from me… or worse withdrawing from me completely.

I had heard that withdrawing would happen on occasions of divorce, and times of severe stress. Even though I seriously hoped (and sensed) it was the latter, I couldn't help but think of the former. With so few Vulcans left… what if the surviving members of the council make Sarek and I divorce so that he can take a Vulcan wife for reproduction purposes.

While I was not past childbearing age, I am sure the council would not be happy with another child like Spock. A thought which only caused anger to brew. My mind raced a million times a minute as I picked up the fork beside the white circular plate.

Did Ambassador Sovol already tell him that he needs to take a Vulcan wife? Is that's why I don't feel him through our bond? Is he breaking it off now to make it easier for later? I started to flick the crumbs off the chocolate cake, my stomach beginning to turn with fear and disgust as the thoughts kept forming and forming. The thought of us being ripped apart when we fought so hard to be together in the first place… I wrapped my arm around my stomach and took a deep breath,

"Are you well?" Sarek asked flatly.

"I am." I lied. "I'm just sad."

"In regular circumstances, sadness would be illogical. However, given the circumstances sadness is most logical."

I looked up at him and simply nodded. I couldn't help but think if this would be the last time my husband and I would be able to eat together face to face. The scenarios kept running through my head, ones that in my time of fear I immediately shared through our bond in the hopes of getting some form of response from him.

"You must eat." He insisted, leaning forward he pushed the plate of chocolate cake closer to me, "You have not eaten since first meal, and that was a substantial number of hours ago."

He took in another bite of vegetarian lasagna. How on earth could he be eating in a time like this? I thought.

"Sarek." I sighed, feeling the familiar feeling of nervous nausea well in the pit of my stomach. As much as I did not want to speak about this topic, I couldn't fight my instincts anymore. If he were going to break our marriage off, if he knew about it, he may as well do it now. "If the council demands that you divorce me to take a Vulcan wife, would you agree to it?"

I had only ever seen the look of my shocked husband three times in our 22 years together. His brows conformed into a v-like shape and his spoon seemed to have fallen from his grip and onto the floor beside him. Bending down simultaneously, both our fingers touched the side of the fork causing an ozh'esta.

I had expected him immediately to pull away, but to my surprise and relief, his fingers rested gently upon mine and once he began to move him slightly. The familiar surge of love ran through my body, a feeling that quickly relaxed my body.

While there was a strong surge of love there was also a deep sadness… sadness that almost brought me onto the ground. It was so strong and so powerful; I fought my body from almost exploding into tears. Vulcan emotions are powerful it was in this moment, I was reminded just how powerful they were and why Vulcan's suppressed them with logic.

I looked up at my husband, while his face had reverted back to his usual calm, monotone appearance I couldn't help but feel confused and astonished at how much pain he was feeling underneath and how calm and reserved he looked on the outside.

He was grieving… and it was painful.

"Oh, my love." I whispered, feeling a tear fall down my cheek. He pulled his fingers away from mine and helped me back to a sitting position in the chair.

"You look tired." he commented, "We should retire to our quarters."

I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to take his pain away. I wanted to help him. I wanted nothing more than to grab his hand and pull him into an embrace. However, given the circumstances and his… emotionally compromised state, it was merely wishful thinking. So, I was helpless and thus my sadness quickly re-emerged.

We rose from our seats and made our way out of the canteen. My hand clasped my wrist at the front of my body as I quickly adjusted my body to a traditional upright position. I wished we were alone. I wish that somehow, someway I could coax my husband into talking to me, into letting me help him. I just wanted to help him, and since Spock wouldn't let me help him the need to help Sarek only intensified.

As we walked out of the canteen, his hand reached for mine as we walked down the empty corridor and squeezed gently. I sensed he was about to say something when suddenly he stopped us in our tracks. His face had a tinge of… concern… alarm.

"What is it?" I asked.

Without a word he took my arm and rushed down the corridor.

"Sarek, what is going on?" I asked. We rounded a corner, a door opened and there stood Jim and Spock in the middle of the deck, and they were arguing. We stepped into the room, Sarek stopping us only a couple feet away from the door. I could sense a small hint of protection as Sarek squeezed my arm gently, but was it from our bond, or was it my own motherly need to protect?

It didn't take me long to realise that Jim was provoking Spock. His face now mere centimetres away from my son's. My body immediately filled with fear as I sensed this wasn't going to end pretty.

"You pulled your own mother off a falling cliff, she was almost murdered, and you're not even upset." Jim spat.

"If you are presuming these experiences have any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken."

"And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary to command this ship. I mean did you see what he has done?" Jim continued.

"Yes, of course I did."

"So, are you afraid, or aren't you?"

I could see the anger well more and more in my son's face as each word began to come out in more of a forced way, like Jim's, "I will not allow you to lecture me on the merits of emotion."

"Then why don't you stop me?" tested Jim. My stomach immediately dropped. I squeezed my husband's arm and took a deep breath; he was going to snap. Spock was going to snap.

"Step away from me Mr.-"

"What is like to not feel anger, or heartbreak or the need to stop at nothing to avenge your planet, hell even the women who was almost taken from you. The women who gave birth to you. The women who you won't even speak to or look at."

"Back away from me-"

"You feel NOTHING!" Jim yelled, "It must not even compute for you. You NEVER loved her!"

There was a flicker, one I had not seen in his eyes since he was a boy and just like that, as I predicted, he snapped. I moved to step forward as the two began to fight, but Sarek's grasp tightened around my hand. I gasped in both shock when his voice radiated through my head, through our silent marital bond.

Amanda, if you intervene you will unintentionally be harmed. Spock is mentally compromised.

You both are. I commented softly.

As I stood there, fighting with what to do. A memory ran through my mind. A forbidden memory. I was pulling a crying and kicking Michael off a Vulcan girl after a fight broke out at the learning centre. My heart ached; I couldn't do that with Spock. It was not allowed, Sarek wouldn't let me and it was not the way of Vulcan.

I watched the horror unfold in front of me, feeling the tears welling in my eyes. The voice of my old friend George Kirk suddenly filled my head as the last memory of us together filled my mind.

The last time I saw my friend before starting his yearlong mission, the mission that would ultimately take his life, we stood in front of Starfleet headquarters in Paris mere moments before his departure. I fought back the tears as we wrapped each other in a long hug, wrapping my arms around his shoulders I held on for dear life not wanting my friend to go.

"I'll miss you." I sniffed, "Please come back safe… and we will go out for coffee." My voice cracking at the end.

"Don't cry, Mandy." he said softly, caressing my back gently. "It's not good for the baby."

There was a moment of silence, until he let out a long sigh.

"If anything happens to me," he whispered in my ear, "Promise me that you and Sarek will look after Winona… well you. Your husband doesn't strike me as the caring type."

"You'd be surprised." I replied, coaxing a half smile against his shoulder. "…but, George, you shouldn't say such things, you will be fine. I'm sure of it."

"Mandy." his voice was almost firm "Please."

The tears began to come, I buried my face in his shoulder as I began to pout, "I promise, George." I cried "We will look after her. But please, please come back."

I never break promises, and true to my friend's last wishes, during times of hardship, I helped Winona in any way that I could. Money, trips to get away from her abusive second husband, and even extended an offer to spend some time with me on Vulcan which she took me up on more than a few times.

Twenty years later, even though Winona was gone, I wasn't going back on my promise now. His offer, I knew extended to Jim. My horror turned to anger, pure anger when I saw Spock wrap his hand around Jim's throat. His strained gasps and coughs filled the room, but no one from the crew would budge from their spots and that only angered me more.

Fucking Cowards.

Fuming, I ripped myself free from Sarek's grip and stepped forward. Deep in my gut, a power like voice rose and immediately fell from my mouth, like vomit. My hands balled into a fist with anger as my voice echoed through the deck of the ship,

"SPOCK!"

When he didn't immediately stop, I momentarily considered incapacitating him with the nerve pinch. As I rose my hand about to move it to his shoulder, he released his grip. Jim fell to the ground, holding his throat he let out a strained and raspy cough. My eyes met my sons who was coming down from blind anger, his body started to relax, and his hands unclenched themselves from fists. My attention turned to Jim who was still on the ground, I fell to my knees beside him.

"Are you alright?" I whispered.

"Doctor." I heard Spock say "I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command based on the face that I have been emotionally compromised. Please date the time and date of the ships log."

I looked up as Spock walk out from the deck. Looking down at Jim, the bright red colour started to fade from his eyes as he staggered back to his feet and away from my helping hand.

"I'm fine." he insisted.

As all eyes pointed towards Jim, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Sarek came forward and offered his hand. Placing my fingertips into his palms and pushed myself off my toes and onto my feet.