I have too much time

When Lloyd was 7, he won a fight for the first time in his life.

By that point, he'd been at Darkley's for nearly 2 years, and knew the ropes: avoid Rai and Scott, don't trust anyone, all girls have cooties, and don't show any weakness. He had gotten the hang of it pretty quickly, especially after Brad had taken him under his wing and taught him about revenge. Lloyd followed all of the older boy's advice- except for when it came to violence. Lloyd had never been a fan of it, and although he had gotten into a few fights in his 2 years at the boarding school, he never started one until Rai Hanjaya did something he shouldn't have.

oOo

"Shut up, or I'll throw you into the river!"

If It were anyone else, Lloyd would have shot something nasty back. But he knew better than to do that when dealing with Rai Hanjaya, who was 13. The boy was the oldest in the school, as well as the meanest. He was the son of some notorious gang member, but judging by his behavior, one would think he was Oni-spawn. He would make good on every threat he made, and Lloyd didn't know how to swim, so he did indeed shut up.

Sniffing and stalking off, the blond boy looked at the river he came pretty close to ending up in. It was fast-moving and deep- defiantly not where he'd like to have his first swim. By the grass around it was pretty, and soft and wet under Lloyd's grubby hands. There were even a few wildflowers dotting the bank, and while he knew better than to tell anyone, Lloyd really loved flowers.

"Hey, an anthill!"

Turning slightly, Lloyd saw the other boys crowded around, indeed, an anthill. He tilted his head, smiling a bit. He didn't know the other boys liked ants, too. All they seemed to enjoy was violence and- oh. Oh.

They weren't watching the bugs with the utter fascination Lloyd did, no, their grins were cruel and familiar. Before he could do anything, Lloyd watched as Rai kicked the anthill, caving it in, scattering dirt everywhere.

Lloyd's hands curled into fists in the ground, pulling up grass and mud. He gritted his teeth, but knew better than to do anything.

But then, Rai lifted his foot, and stomped on the remains of the nest, grinding his foot into the loose dirt, smirking sadistically, laughing. An unfamiliar tightness seized Lloyd's chest and all he could see was the awful smile on Rai's stupid face- he was happy being mean to innocent things. Lloyd knew that. He'd witnessed his cruelty against other boys, against himself, against birds and lizards, but-. But ants reminded Lloyd of his uncle, and he knew Wu wouldn't stand for Rai tormenting weaker creatures.

"Knock it off!"

Simultaneously, all the boys turned to look at the red-faced, red-eyed, fanged blond child with grass stains on his pants and mud smudges of his cheeks.

"Leave the ants alone," He said. "They didn' do anything."

Rai stared at him, brown eyes glistening with malice. "What was that?"

"Leave them alone."

"Why don't you make me?"

Lloyd wasn't really sure what happened next, but somehow, Rai was on the ground, nose bleeding and eyes wide, and Lloyd was standing over him with an aching fist and-

Rai hit back, sending the younger boy reeling, before it clicked in his head that he'd somehow gotten into a fight with the one person he never wanted to. Oh well. He wasn't going to just sit and take it this time, so he pulled back and punched Rai in the gut as hard as he could. Which, admittedly, wasn't very hard, but he kept hitting him, aiming at his face, until his tiny fists were raw and someone was pulling him away, and he was screaming, thrashing-

Rai's face was bloody and bruised, and he was missing a tooth. A violent sickness settled in the pit of Lloyd's stomach. Had he really done that?

"How dare you, you stupid little-" Rai was livid, swearing colorfully as he spat a glob of blood and a piece of a tooth out, murder in his eyes. Lloyd gulped, stepped back, but Rai lunged to his feet and tackled the boy before he could run. It wouldn't have mattered, anyway- Lloyd was short for his age and his stubby legs could never go as fast as Rai's.

Then, of course, Lloyd got thrown into the river. It wasn't so bad, he soon decided, since the other boys slunk off and probably wouldn't beat him senseless today. He still couldn't swim and the water was really cold, but he'd managed to grab a stone and wasn't about to get swept away. He could see a little path up the bank that he'd have to use when climbed out, but for now, Lloyd was alright just sitting in the river, basking in his silent victory.

When Lloyd was 7, he won his first fight. It didn't really seem like he won, Rai kept messing with him and the other boys, but never again did he kick over another anthill.

And so starts the decline of Lloyd's mental well-being