A/N: Here is a revised chapter two. A shout out to my super awesome Beta Agrestebug! Without her this chapter would have been flat, now it shines! Thanks a bunch girl, I hope to learn more from ya in the ways of creative writing as we move forward. This chapter is dedicated to you!

A/N 2: I made small edits, just for cosmetic purposes.

DISCLAIMER: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto and therefore deserves all the credit for its creation. I do NOT own Naruto! This story was written solely for my amusement and the amusement of others, no money is being made from this!

Chapter Two: Itachi

I sit with my knees tucked underneath me, staring blankly ahead. I don't show my boredom or frustration. I learned long ago to lock it all away, to bury it within the deepest parts of my most inner self.

The thick, heavy silk material of my navy blue kimono is stifling as if trying to suffocate me in its unyielding grip. The air felt stale as I struggled to breathe. I don't meet the scrutinizing eyes of the wrinkled, pale faced Elders who drone on continuously about the pride of the Uchiha clan. Their presumptuous arrogance is sickening. Physically making me want to vomit. I wanted to yell, to scream at the pointlessness of it all. The clan, the clan, it was all about the clan.

How can we better serve a founder long since dead? What about the village we live in? The innocents that we are sworn to protect? Do they matter? Do I? I don't. In the grand scheme of things, I know that I don't matter and I was surprisingly okay with that. As it was, I am nothing but a tool, a weapon. I have been since birth. I was the 'pride of the Uchiha clan' father liked to incessantly remind me, often using the same gruff, boasting manner with which the Elders spoke.

Self-entitlement only paves the way to hell.

I cast a cursory glance around the meeting hall, pausing briefly at my cousin Shisui who winks at me before donning the mask we were forced to wear. He felt it too, the absurdity of it all. The oppression. My only comrade in this lonely battlefield of politics.

Sasuke, like me, is rigid but doesn't show he saw my gaze. Instead, he is pretending to be paying the utmost attention. I knew he wasn't. My brother could care less about the clan or our traditions, preferring to rebel against the system by choosing his own friends and life. I purposely distanced myself from Sasuke, keeping him at arm's length. Though as Sasuke aged, he was more and more determined to bridge that gap between us, which meant I in turn, had to make even greater strides to keep him at bay. I had to keep an unreachable distance between us, by any and all means necessary. I would not let Sasuke feel even a brush of the stifling trifles that I endured in silence. I would not be the reason that his smile, however infrequent he allowed himself to show it, would be forced into the deepest recesses of his soul never to be seen again. Nor would I allow the burden of certain truths within our clan to stain darkness upon his unburdened heart. No. I would not allow it.

As much as it pained me to force this distance, especially in instances when Sasuke surprised me with how close he had come to nearly standing in my shadow, it was the only thing that I was able to do for him. The only way I could even begin to make up for our father's neglect. Despite the lack of brotherly affection, I do love my baby brother. It was the sole reason I did what I did, endured what I endured, and carried myself in the role of the perfect son, to protect him.

My otouto was not the firstborn. As long as the youngest son excelled and married a proper Uchiha bride, he would mostly be left to his own devices. The Elders nor our father have been able to sink their sharp, poisonous claws into him thus far. For years, I sheltered him from the harsh realities of being a clan heir, becoming his shadow, his shield, so that he could thrive in the light. I intended to keep it that way. Sasuke didn't know how far the corruption ran. He couldn't fathom the intricacies of moving stealthily through the powers at play, be it talking down a village coup or silently slicing the throat of the man who would have gladly ordered the slaughter of hundreds of people. They were sacrifices I was gladly willing to make, and that I would continue to make for however long necessary. That was the cost of it all, one life in exchange for another.

My freedom in exchange for his.

Lastly, my disinterested gaze rests on mother and father. Both sit at the front of the room with such poise one could think that they were royalty. They wore fine blue kimonos like my own. My mother had her dark grey eyes cast downward with her hands neatly folded in her lap, the perfect wife to the Uchiha Clan Head; calm, demure, and submissive. While father was the exact opposite, prosiding over the assembly with an iron fist; stern, cold and unwavering, a man to be respected and feared.

I was to be that man someday with the submissive and docile wife, and soon. So, why did the very thought suddenly make my stomach churn?

xXx

I felt anxious. No, it was more than that, restless. Yes, I felt restless. The newly familiar emotion clawing at my chest like a ravenous beast that threatened to tear its way out.

I had to get a grip on myself. Being on edge would only make fulfilling my duties that much harder. It was the reason why I was out in the blaring sun, the heat obtrusively searing into my back, forcing the fabric of my shirt to stick to me like a second skin.

The sling of the kunai hitting the wooden post with an audible thud was therapeutic. Almost. It still didn't quell the intense yearning I felt for something, anything to make my life more..bearable? Is that what I wanted? A more bearable life. How pathetic. My life was hardly full of misery and suffering. I hadn't needed to give up everything I own or anything of the sort for the sake of someone else's idea of the greater good.

No, I just liked to inflict internal pain on myself is all. Apparently, I have a masochistic streak.

"I figured I'd find you out here." The knowing tone was calm. I didn't need to look up to see who it was. I had felt his chakra heading in my direction for some time. He had tried to hide it, stopping here and there along the way to make it seem as though it wasn't his intent to come to the training grounds. I nearly huffed. He'd have to do better than that to convince me otherwise. All he'd done was waste the past few hours inching his way in my direction while I was fully aware of what he was doing.

Shisui Uchiha was a bit on the taller side, about six foot three inches tall with the same pale skin, dark eyes, and black hair that the Uchiha clan was known for. Except said hair was cut short, with his wavy bangs lazily grazing his left eye. Unlike most of the members of our clan, the elder male had an affable personality and, in conjunction with his good looks, caused a decently sized fan club to trail after him, vying for his attention. He often relished in the attention too. The man was a notorious flirt.

It was disgraceful to parade one's self that way. I loathed fangirls. They were nothing more than a nuisance. I had a club of my own as well, unfortunately. Though, I hardly paid them any mind. I had no interest in women, at least seriously. Women led to marriage, which led to babies. That aspect of my life I was actively trying to avoid. It was exactly where my father and the Elders wanted me to be, wed to the next Uchiha matriarch so my father could relinquish his position over to me. My duties as a shinobi thankfully kept those obligations at bay, until more recently when the prospect seemed to be lurking in the shadows around every corner. I couldn't get away from it.

Shisui used to often joke that I was born without hormones. Which was ridiculous, of course I had hormones. I just did not partake in such frivolous behavior within the village walls. The last thing I needed was a one night stand to be the gossip of the town. It would get back to the clan and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. However, only Shisui was aware of my extra curricular activities outside of Konohagakure, where the women did not know who I was but would still happily jump into bed with a handsome stranger. I didn't dare complain. It was the only sense of release I got with the suffocating constraints of life as a clan heir. It looked like that too was to be over though.

I didn't spare him a glance, just impassively waited for the newly thrown kunai to hit its target.

Thud.

"I understand that the Elders are withdrawing you from ANBU?" I heard Shisui murmur. It wasn't really a question.

I finally look over at my cousin standing a few feet away, strategically out of range from flying weapons, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I took notice of the slight worried frown he's trying to hide.

"Hn." I walk over and pull the wedged kunai's out of the post, leaving behind behind huge gashes.

We were going to have to replace this wooden post soon.

A scoff causes me to look over my shoulder with a raised eyebrow. What does it matter that I'm leaving ANBU? He would take my place as team Captain after all.

"Come off it Itachi, you can't tell me you are happy with the idea?" Shisui exclaims, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes narrow, waiting to scrutinize every small change in my demeanor for any hint of deception, daring me to prove him wrong.

If I were a lesser shinobi, I would have sighed and shrug my shoulders nonchalantly. But, I'm not, so I don't. I remain aloof and distant. My wants didn't matter. They never did.

"The clan put me in ANBU remember? They can take me out." It was a simple answer but the truth. Shisui could not deny that.

"Yes, but-" I cut my cousin off.

"It's alright, besides..when did what I want start to matter anyway?" My tone holds a derisive edge.

I started to walk away, out of the Uchiha training grounds.

Shisui easily caught up with me, and I had a sinking feeling he was going to bring up the one thing that I did not want to discuss. My flamboyant cousin had a way of getting me to open up and talk about the feelings I had long since suppressed. It was a rather annoying habit he had.

I knew what Shisui was trying to pull. It was a trick he had done multiple times over the years to try and bring out the long-buried emotions I always pushed down. His concern for me was clear in the subtle changes that marred his features that many of our own clansmen would never notice. I only saw the changes because I was steadily looking for them. Waiting for them to make their appearance once our conversations took this kind of turn. I had tried not to notice, appreciative as I was of his concern for my well-being both mentally and physically, and failed more often times than not. The last thing I wanted was to be a burden upon his shoulders. There was no need for the both of us to drown under the weight of constant scrutiny and contempt that daily exercised my ability to 'inhumanly lock my emotions away'. As he liked to put it.

Shisui, at times, would look at me strangely, like he was waiting for something from me. No doubt he was waiting for the day when the burden of being the clan heir became too much. It almost provoked a smile out of me, though I held it back. That was not something I would ever allow myself to succumb to. Not because I didn't feel that the weight of that burden bearing down on me at every moment, but because it was simply against everything I had always been expected to be. I had a role to partake in, a role whose place was particularly defined, a role I had molded myself into with nothing but complete perfection.

Still, I knew he worried. While Shisui was a brilliant shinobi in his own right, I was too. On those rare occasions we found ourselves outside the village on a two man scouting mission, we would hit one of the local taverns for a drink. In these instances, I usually found myself a woman to keep me company for the night. If Shisui minded, he never mentioned it. The short intermissions were the only way I could get any sort of release, both physical and mentally. It was a plague I seemed to have no real cure for, as I could still recall the intense need to feel something other than the emptiness that chilled me from the inside every time after. I doubt there would ever be a time I'd find such an all consuming cure to fill that plague of emptiness, so all I could do was digress and continue on.

My cousin looked pensive as he spoke, his expression poorly concealing his wariness. As if I was hiding a deeply rooted secret that he had somehow been made privy to without my knowledge.

Sometimes it felt as if he was studying me like one would an enemy, as if something dark and twisted lurked beneath the surface of my being. It made me think back to our most recent trip together. I remember my possessive lust burning white hot as I searched for a suitable woman to bed. The look was calculating, swirling with the depth of desire. It was not such a simplistic urge to bed a beautiful woman for her body alone. Beauty, no matter how great, had never been enough to sate me. It was the power I felt that truly drove me, the power to control someone, something in my life that I could not do otherwise.

I nearly stopped in my tracks at the revelation. In those instances, was I not hiding my desires as well as I thought? Women were never the wiser, and easily surrendering to my advances and needs. Was it that inherent possessiveness I constantly held back that caused Shisui to seemingly hover over me those nights? My cousin usually found himself checking on the countless nameless women afterwards, but I had never been sure of why. He was discreet and the woman never noticed. He probably thought I had never noticed, or pretended to act as though he didn't know that I noticed.

Though now I had to subtly wonder as to his true intentions, maybe he was checking to make sure no evidence would be traced back to the village. Of course, nothing would. I was very careful. Other than obviously rough sex, nothing was ever amiss.

I sighed internally. My thoughts were wandering far too much. I tended to overanalyze when it came to others and their intentions with me.

My opinion where Shisui is concerned, is simply that Shisui worries too much. I hated it when the elder shinobi forced me to talk about my feelings. I wasn't made of glass. It would take much more than what was being thrown at me day in and day out to cause even the smallest of cracks to occur. Still, it was almost as if he was trying to prevent what could be a rather dangerous outcome, like an ambush of some sort. As if one push too far, one more expectation to uphold could have far reaching consequences.

"It is about your arranged marriage, isn't it? So you can formally step into the role as clan head." Shisui was gentle in saying this, eyeing me carefully. I felt my posture stiffen to the slightest degree, the minute movement was all my older cousin needed to continue.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shisui asked though he already knew the answer.

I looked over at Shisui debating on mentioning Rina, the Uchiha born woman I was set to marry in six months. I knew nothing of the woman, only having met her once. Rina was beautiful as was to be expected with long straight black hair, flawless pale skin, dark eyes, and an alluring womanly frame. Her manners were impeccable and the sweetness of her smile was robotic in nature. Rina was a born and bred Uchiha lady, the ideal matriarch. She would do what I asked without fuss, cook as good as my own mother, and lay underneath me submissively as we worked to create the next heir. No love or passion. A wife handpicked by my own father. Another thing that I was unable to decide for myself in regards to how I lived my life.

At least the women I slept with were within my control, albeit temporarily. I relished sinking into their soft bodies, not because of any connection I felt, but for that moment when they were writhing under me in pleasure, their moans filling my ears while desperately crying my name. I had chosen them. And now, that ability to choose was gone too.

"No Shisui, there is no need to speak on it." I hear a distressed sigh and keep moving towards the main house in the compound, eager to get a shower before lunch. The light footsteps proved Shisui was still at my side.

"Itachi, I worry about you." Shisui admitted heavily, "I'm begging you to at least ignore the wishes of the clan for a moment. And, if you won't talk to me then ask yourself this...What is it that you really want, Itachi?" Barely a whisperer, but I heard it loud and clear.

I pause, sparing my cousin a glance. A small amount of confusion mingled within my answer as the words left my lips, the question echoing loudly inside the hollow shell I had become.

This once, I obliged him with the honest truth.

"I don't know."