"Oblivion"
"Chapter Two: The Visitors"
If there was a moment that Harry Potter thought his summer couldn't get any weirder, he was wrong. It was two days after he visited Sirius Black in Azkaban prison when two wizards showed up at his aunt and uncle's home asking to speak with Harry in private. His uncle, red faced and irate, called his nephew down the stairs. He stilled in the parlor when he saw his headmaster sitting out of place in his wizarding robes and long beard. Next to him sat a man that Harry instantly recognized from his parents' wedding photo – Remus Lupin who looked slightly more gray and tired.
His uncle gave him a not so gentle push into the parlor to make his displeasure known as he stalked away into the kitchen where he assumed his Aunt Petunia and cousin, Dudley, were hiding out. Harry looked uncomfortable as he entered the room and awkwardly sat down across from the two wizards.
"Harry, how is your summer going?" Professor Dumbledore asked pleasantly as he looked at the boy over his moon-shaped glasses.
"Good," Harry replied as he wrung his hands in his lap.
Did they know he went to see Sirius Black? Were they going to forbid him to go again or contact him? Could they even do that? He felt a hammering in his chest and tension glide over his shoulders.
"This is Remus Lupin. He's a close friend of mine and he was a close friend of your parents," Dumbledore introduced them.
"I know," Harry said before the man could speak.
Lupin looked startled, his brows furrowing as his mouth gaped as if he were a fish out of water who did not know how to speak anymore. Harry shifted uncomfortably and wanted the meeting to cease.
"Did Sirius Black tell you about Remus?" Dumbledore asked again, voice calm and curious.
Harry did not answer. So, the meeting was about Sirius Black. The tension spread down his back, his arms, his legs. He felt paralyzed for reasons he couldn't exactly comprehend.
"Harry, whatever Sirius told you, he cannot be trusted," Lupin spoke up now after finding his voice.
"Sirius is very charming and convincing when he wants to be," Dumbledore added.
"I see," Harry replied with a nod.
It was in that moment that Harry had decided his course of action. He was going to tell Dumbledore and Lupin nothing about his meeting with Sirius or their letters. He wasn't going to tell them he planned to travel to the Ministry again the following day and request to see Sirius again. His aunt was taking Dudley school shopping and his uncle would be at work all day. It was the perfect time to sneak out of the house for a day without questions about where he was going or what he was doing.
"What has Sirius told you?" inquired Dumbledore.
"Nothing. We just talked," Harry replied with a shrug.
"What did you two talk about?" the headmaster pushed gently.
"All kinds of stuff," he remained vague.
"Harry, do you know that Sirius is in prison for blowing up a street full of people? Thirteen people died that day," Lupin spoke up now.
"I know. He told me that."
"Doesn't that… bother you?" pressed Lupin.
"Not really, no," replied Harry. "He didn't do it."
A tight smile crossed Lupin's features as he shook his head in disbelief. A hand ran down the man's tired face before looking over at Dumbledore who had yet to react to Harry's revelation. Instead, the old man stared intently at the young boy, a sad expression set in his forehead.
"Did he tell you that he was the one to betray your parents to Lord Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked with sadness lacing his words.
"That's what you think," Harry replied, oddly confidant in that moment. "They switched at the last minute. He wasn't their Secret Keeper."
"Harry, listen to me. I don't know what Sirius told you to convince you that he's the victim in all of this, but let me assure you, he is not. Sirius had us all fooled. Your father would not have picked another Secret Keeper. He only trusted Sirius. People heard Peter talking to Sirius. There are eyewitness accounts to the confrontation between the two that day," Lupin said in an almost desperate sort of voice.
"Okay," was all Harry could think to say.
"Harry, I'm going to ask you to cease your contact with Sirius Black," Dumbledore said carefully, sadness shining in his blue eyes. "I'm going to ask you not to write him or visit him again. Can you promise me that, Harry?"
Sitting perfectly still, Harry knew he could not make that promise. He was in too deep, too fascinated about Sirius and determined to help him. He couldn't turn his back on the man now. His godfather – the first person in his life that he could ever remember saying he loved him.
A proper family. A proper family. A proper family. One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds passed as Harry internally battled with denying to make that promise or if he should lie. Six. Seven. Eight.
"I can't," he spoke softly. "I'm going to continue to write him and see him if I can."
Lupin looked exasperated, his eyes wide. Dumbledore looked disappointed. Harry suddenly felt guilty but tried to push those emotions down. What did their opinions matter in comparison to his godfather's? Dumbledore was merely his headmaster – a man he respected but was not family and did not care for him in such a light. Remus Lupin - his father's supposed friend who couldn't bother to see him and get to know him. Sirius had thought they would know each other but he was sorely mistaken. Nobody had ever cared for Harry in the way Sirius had. No adult had been so open and welcoming towards him in his whole life.
"You leave me no choice then, Harry. I will talk to your aunt before I leave and let her know you are fraternizing with a known murderer who betrayed her sister to Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore spoke calmly, albeit sadly.
"Okay, tell her," Harry said with a shrug as tinges of anger replaced the tension. "She won't care if that's what you're thinking. She hated my mum. She will probably encourage me to see Sirius in hopes he'd somehow be able to murder me while I'm visiting so she wouldn't have the unfortunate burden of taking care of me anymore."
Lupin frowned at the bitter words, his eyes darting to the kitchen door that lay behind Harry. His eyes rested back on the teenager. They were glaring at him as though he were trying to read his mind. Harry shifted uncomfortably and noted Dumbledore's disappointment grow. Harry did not care, however. How dare Dumbledore involve himself in this? Sirius was his godfather, his family.
"Your aunt and your mother may not have gotten along later in life, but they were family, Harry. I highly doubt, despite her distaste for magic, that she'd actually want you killed," Dumbledore replied.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Professor," Harry sighed, his jaw tightening. "I'm not trying to be difficult. I know you think Sirius Black is guilty of the crimes he's in Azkaban for, but I don't. I was weary at first too. I didn't trust or believe him. After we met… I can't explain it. I just know he's innocent."
"Alright, Harry. I think we have discussed all we need to discuss. Remus and I will talk to your aunt briefly and let you continue on with your summer vacation in peace. I will see you on September first."
Dumbledore rose first, not daring to look at Harry again before he disappeared towards the kitchen. Lupin sat rooted in his spot, his gaze so piercing that Harry couldn't look away. The older man looked like he wanted to say a thousand things but couldn't find the words to even begin. His Adam's apple bobbled as his mouth gaped open again. Abruptly, he stood up and left the room to follow where Dumbledore disappeared to.
Swallowing a lump in his throat, Harry stood up and walked up to his bedroom. He quietly shut the door, attempting not to make any noise. He backed up slowly until he hit the footboard of his bed. He sank down into the uncomfortable mattress, his eyes staring at his bedroom door as he started going over his plan of seeing Sirius again the following day.
He was proven right to think his aunt would not care about him visiting Sirius. She didn't comment at all about the manner. Except, she threw him a few dirty looks over the dinner table as though every nasty thing she ever thought about him was true. However, she didn't dare speak about magic, godfathers, or anything she deemed freakish. He didn't speak much either, for that matter, and excused himself to bed after he placed his dishes in the sink not ten minutes into dinner and eating only a fraction of his food.
The next day, Harry sat on the bench in the Magical Law Enforcement Office waiting for the shift change of Azkaban. He had only arrived at the Ministry a half hour before shift change and not a whole two hours like before. He lolled his head back on the wall behind him, his eyes closing in boredom and a sigh escaping his lips. He felt movement next to him. Quirking an eye open and looking to the right, he saw Remus Lupin sitting down next to him.
"Are you keeping tabs on me now?" inquired Harry as he sat up straighter.
"Dumbledore was alerted you were here and contacted me. I volunteered to come and try to dissuade you out of going today," he said calmly.
"Why?"
"Because, Harry, Sirius Black is a Death Eater and a murderer. I shudder to think what nonsense he's been filling your mind with."
"I'd tell you you could come with me, but only family is allowed to visit and you wouldn't want to talk to him anyways."
"If only family can visit him, how are you getting the privilege?" inquired Lupin as he cocked an eyebrow high into his hairline.
"He listed me as his heir in his will. Therefore, I get family privileges," Harry explained as he saw Kingsley Shacklebolt walking towards them.
"His heir? I'm assuming he told you this in his letter to sway you to come visit him," Lupin spoke evenly.
"No, it was my idea to come visit him," Harry replied as he stood up to greet Shacklebolt. "I asked him how to do it. He told me my mother would have disapproved but my dad would have thought it a fun adventure."
Lupin stood up too, holding out a finger to Shacklebolt as he rounded on Harry. The older man looked like he was trying to force a smile off his face. He swallowed hard.
"I'm sure James would have been quite enthralled with an adventure to Azkaban," Lupin said evenly. "I'm also sure that James, while as adventurous with a devil may care attitude, would not want his son to go on said adventure."
"Well, since my dad isn't here to ask, I might as well follow in his footsteps and go on the adventure," Harry shot back bitterly. "Thank you, Mister Lupin, for being concerned but I'm fine. I'm ready, Mister Shacklebolt."
Harry didn't look at Remus Lupin as he withdrew his wand for the Auror to take nor as he was handed the same deflated football as last time. The uncomfortable pull of the navel knocked him off his feet. He couldn't keep his balance when he landed, feeling the uncomfortable sand jabbing into his knees. The silver lynx appeared once more.
"What is that thing?" he asked as Shacklebolt grabbed his bicep to help him up.
"It's a Patronus. It keeps the Dementors at bay," he explained as they started to walk, the cloaked figures keeping their distance again.
"Those things are Dementors? What do they do?"
"They suck out all the happiness from you until you go insane. I hear Sirius Black is immune to the Dementors. He's one of the few who can still talk in coherent sentences."
A deep frown worked its way onto Harry's features. He pictured his godfather chained to the table, babbling nonsense and drooling. He shook his head, getting the images to disperse. It didn't seem humane to use such creatures.
Shacklebolt led him down the familiar corridor to the door at the end. Harry hesitated before turning to Shacklebolt.
"I'll go in alone," he said confidently. "Can I… can I have more time? Maybe an hour instead of a half hour this time?"
"I could, perhaps, lose track of time while reading my report for forty-five minutes," Shacklebolt said nonchalantly.
"Brilliant. Thanks."
Pushing open the heavy door, Harry felt himself grin at the sight of his godfather. Sirius looked almost happier this time sitting chained up to the table. There was a wide smile to match his godson's expression, making him look years younger and more like the man he recognized in his parents' wedding photo. Crossing the room, he eagerly sat down across from the man.
"I asked for more time today," Harry told him. "He said he'd give us an extra fifteen minutes."
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh, his eyebrows raising in the air in surprise. Harry couldn't help but grin. He thought a lot about his last meeting with Sirius. It was all he thought about honestly, replying the stories of his parents over in his head. Thinking about the promise he made his godfather to get him out of jail. The very idea that him and Sirius could live together, be a proper family, had him so excited that he could barely sleep.
"Look at you, playing the system," he said proudly, his eyes twinkling just a hair.
"I had some visitors yesterday," Harry started. "Dumbledore showed up at my aunt's house with Remus Lupin."
"What did they want? To convince you I'm a murdering lunatic that you shouldn't associate with?"
"Basically. They even told my aunt that I came here but she didn't care. They don't believe you. I tried to tell them you were innocent, but they wouldn't listen. I didn't say anything about Peter being a rat in front of Dumbledore. I didn't mention what you said to Lupin either. I… would you be upset if I didn't tell anyone until I got to Hogwarts? I want to be the one to capture him and be there when they force him out of his Animagus form. The boy in the picture… that's my best friend, Ron Weasley. I want to be able to show him and explain things."
"No, I think that's a good plan, Harry. If Ron is your best friend, then Peter knows that. You would be able to grab him without him suspecting a thing. You should stun him immediately before you take him to Dumbledore. Once he gets a whiff that you know, he'll try to disappear. Try not to let him know you're onto him."
"When I arrived at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement… I had to wait for the shift change at Azkaban. That's when they bring in visitors I guess-"
"It's because they pull the Dementors back. There's not a lot of wizarding personnel on site, but they try to minimize the contact with Dementors as much as possible. The offices are warded against the Dementors."
"Oh, right," Harry shifted uncomfortably. "The Auror who brings me, he told me that Dementors make you go insane after a while. He said you're not affected, one of the few who isn't."
"Dementors feed off happy emotions and memories. Let's just say, I have a lot more unhappy memories and emotions than happy ones," Sirius spoke bitterly. "I'm also innocent. That thought isn't exactly a happy one so the Dementors can't feed off it. I think being able to transform into Padfoot helps as well. Dog emotions are different than human emotions. It's why I didn't want you to tell anyone about me being an Animagus. Have you… felt the Dementors effects coming here?"
"No… there's always a Patronus, I think he called it. They stay away from us when we get here."
"Good. I would never want you to experience the effects of the Dementors," Sirius said in a haunted tone as his eyes glossed over as though he were lost in an unpleasant train of thought.
"I saw Remus Lupin today," Harry broke him out of his trance. "He showed up while I was waiting for the shift change. He asked me not to come. Apparently, Dumbledore was alerted when I went to the Ministry today and he sent Lupin to talk to me."
"Doesn't surprise me," Sirius said thoughtfully. "Dumbledore likes to insert himself in other's business and affairs."
Harry frowned. Sirius must have picked up on his discomfort and confusion, because he cleared his throat.
"So, last time, we didn't have a lot of time to talk about you. Tell me about you."
"There's not much to tell," he admitted honestly with a shrug.
"Humor me, Harry. The only things I know about you were you loved pear mush as a baby and thought it hilarious to pull my tail while I was Padfoot," Sirius said dryly, a grin crossing his features.
"Did I… did I know that you could turn into a dog? I mean, did I know you were one in the same as a baby?"
"I think so. Your vocabulary was less than impressive at that age but you used to call me Pa'foo in both my dog and human form. Sometimes, although less often, you'd hiss at me. I think the S in Sirius was all you could manage as you didn't hiss at anyone else. You would hiss at me in human and dog form as well. Then, you'd also bark at me in my human form when I think you wanted me to be Padfoot," Sirius explained as a smile slowly crept on the teenager's features. "I'd give you doggy rides as Padfoot too. You used to nearly pull my fur out with your little fists when I gave you a ride. You loved it. You used to laugh hysterical."
"I apologize on behalf of my infant self," Harry responded, his cheeks hurting from his smile.
"It was worth it. I've had way worse experiences as Padfoot."
"I knew my dad was a stag too, right?"
"You used to rest your wrists on your head and wiggle your fingers like you were giving yourself antlers to James, so I think it's safe to assume you knew he could transform too. Sometimes, you'd even call him 'Ongs instead of dad because that's what I always called him," Sirius enlightened him as a bark-like laugh escaped his lips. "You also used to neigh at James. I encouraged it. I'd neigh along with you. It used to piss James off so badly. He used to tell you all the time he wasn't a horse and he was a stag before hitting me over the head and telling me to stop it. You'd just smile at him and we would neigh some more."
Harry was leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table. He was so eager for more information, more stories that he could hardly contain the overwhelming joy and excitement coursing through him. These were the kinds of stories he craved his whole life but nobody told him.
"Were you around a lot?" questioned Harry.
"Oh, yeah, I was at your house almost every single day. I think I annoyed your mum a bit with how often I visited. She used to call me co-dependent and kept trying to fix me up with some of her friends so I'd have something else to do. James and I had never really been apart very often since we were eleven. I always spent the holidays at your grandparent's house. Normally, about two weeks into summer, I was fed up with my family and would plead to James to let me stay with him. Your grandparents always picked me up a few weeks into summer without fail. By third year, I didn't even have to write, they just showed up on my parent's doorstep to pick me up. By sixth year, a week into summer, I ran away from home and permanently stayed at your dad's house until we graduated. I got my own flat after that."
"Did you and my mum get along?"
"We got along fine. She was the only one I'd talk to about certain negative aspects of my family life. In return, she'd tell me about Petunia quite often. Shitty family members were something we could easily bond over. We appreciated each other's humor and got along nicely. We used to watch Muggle television shows together. But, sometimes, James and I could be a lot when we were together and would annoy her. She was never afraid to voice that though and I was kicked out of the house on several occasions. Enough about me though. Really, Harry, I want to hear something about you."
"Well, I'm in Gryffindor. I'm Seeker for the Quidditch team. I'm best friends with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."
"Your dad was Chaser for Gryffindor. He was a natural," he commented. "Your grandfather was a Seeker though."
"What can you tell me about them? My grandparents. I know nothing about them. Not even their names."
"Well, your grandfather was Fleamont Potter," Sirius stopped when he saw Harry's amused look. "Your grandfather wasn't exactly thrilled about his name. He said he was very good at hexing and jinxing people due to the fact he was bullied a lot. He was also an exceptional Potions Master."
"Well, I obviously didn't get that gene," Harry said bitterly.
"Ah, Slughorn didn't collect you and make you a member of his little Slug Club? Surprising, as your mum was one of his favorite's and he tried to get James to join as well due to your grandfather. Although, I thought your little title of the Boy Who Lived would have had him bouncing off the walls in excitement," Sirius said in a teasing, light tone.
"Who is Slughorn?" questioned Harry, brow furrowing.
"Ah, old Sluggy finally retired? He was the Potions Master when we were at Hogwarts. He liked to collect students from either a famous family like your dad or students he thought were going to make something out of themselves one day like your mum."
"Why were the Potters famous?"
"You don't know?" asked Sirius in a baffled voice. "Haven't you ever asked why your family has so much money? Flea invented Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. He singlehandedly quadrupled the already vast Potter fortune."
"I… I had no idea," Harry said softly, his chest twisting in sorrow at how little he knew about his family.
"So, who's Potions Master now?" Sirius asked suddenly, jolting Harry out of his reverie.
"Severus Snape," Harry replied miserably. "He hates me."
"Snivellus is Potions Master?" Sirius questioned with obvious disgust clouding his features as Harry nearly choked, embarrassingly, on his own spit at the name. "Why the ruddy hell would Dumbledore allow him in the castle? He was a Death Eater, you know. Voldemort recruited him during our seventh year, apparently."
"Snape was a Death Eater?"
"Yeah, slimy little git he was too. He went to school with your dad and me, same year. We didn't exactly get along too well. I'm guessing he hates you because he hated your dad. James was popular, incredibly smart, a Quidditch star, and ended up with Lily. Snivellus was none of those things – well, I'll give him credit where credit is due. He was pretty smart; I'll give him that. He was an awkward git though with not a lot of friends. He used to flap around the castle like a bat. He had no athletic talent whatsoever. He pined after your mother. They knew each other before Hogwarts, lived near each other or something. I guess they were friends, but I never understood why exactly your mum was his friend. They were polar opposites. Well, I guess they were friends until he showed his true colors and called her a Mudblood at the end of our fifth year to impress his little Death Eater friends and she refused to speak to him again after that. Then, she started becoming closer to James in our sixth year, then by seventh year they were dating."
Harry leaned back in his chair. He thought about Snape and his mother being friends but simply couldn't comprehend it. His dad and Snape being enemies made a lot more sense given how much Snape disliked Harry. He vaguely thought about his and Malfoy's relationship and categorized it akin to that.
"Sirius… can I ask you a question?" he started with his words marked with hesitancy.
"Anything."
"Do you know why Voldemort came after my parents?"
A dark shadow passed over the man's face. What little smile had been gracing his features during their conversation thus far was long gone. His Adam's Apple bobbled as his gray eyes pierced into Harry, making him squirm uncomfortably. The chains around Sirius' wrists rattled, making the teenager jump. He glanced down to see Sirius was extending a hand, palm up. Instantly, he took it. It felt weird holding the man's hand yet comforting at the same time. His eyes snapped back to his godfather as he spoke, his voice slightly haunted.
"There was a prophecy," he began. "A prophecy about you."
"What do you mean, a prophecy about me?"
"Dumbledore was interviewing for a Divination opening when he heard the prophecy. It was about a boy who was capable of defeating Voldemort. Voldemort, in turn, decided you were the boy that was foretold in the prophecy. He wanted to kill you, because he feared you."
"Me? I mean… I was just a baby. I-"
"Exactly. You were just a baby. He wanted to get rid of you before you grew up, before you would be trained, before you could set out to accomplish what the prophecy supposedly foretold."
"How did Voldemort hear the prophecy? How did he determine it was about me?"
"There was a spy there that night that overheard the first part of the prophecy. It told of a boy being born at the end of July to parents who had thrice defied Voldemort. He chose to believe that the prophecy was about you."
"So… I'm the reason they're dead?" Harry choked out.
Sorrow filled every limb of his body. He could feel the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes but he willed them back – something he had learned to do growing up with the Dursleys. He tried to pull his hand away from Sirius' grasp but the older man only tightened his grip in response. His free hand covered the top of Harry's hand, unwilling to let the boy pull away from the connection. Harry was the reason his parents were dead. Harry was the reason Sirius was in Azkaban. It was too much, he couldn't bare look at the man so he locked eyes on his hands.
"No."
"Sirius-"
"No," he said more firmly. "Stop it."
"Sirius…" he said feebly, almost pleading.
"Look at me," Sirius demanded, his voice not unkind but not warm either. "Harry, look at me right now."
Harry forced his eyes up to glance up at his godfather. Sirius was staring at him, his eyes kind. A tight, reassuring smile crossed his features. Harry was only vaguely aware that Sirius' thumb was rubbing the back of his hand.
"None of this is your fault," his godfather spoke evenly. "You're not the reason that James and Lily are dead. You know who is? Voldemort. Voldemort and his power-hungry vendetta to be master of the bloody world. You were innocent in all of this. James and Lily would have done anything to protect you. They loved you more than life itself. They hated Voldemort, hated that he was targeting you. I promise you, Harry, that I will do everything I can to protect you. I love you just as much as they did. You're my godson… I won't let Voldemort hurt you again. I'm going to get out of this hellhole. When I do, you're leaving the Dursleys and moving in with me. We're going to be a family. I'm going to love you and protect you and probably annoy the bloody hell out of you but we will be a family. You deserve that, Harry, because none of this is your fault. None of it. If I ever hear you blame yourself for their deaths again, I'm going to hit you over the head hard enough to knock that thought out of your brain."
"Sirius…" Harry let out a dry sob.
"No, Harry. Do you blame me for your parents' deaths? I was the one who convinced them to switch Secret Keepers."
Harry shook his head in the negative as he pushed back the tears that threatened to fall. Sirius' rhythm of his thumb on his godson's hand seemed to soothe the teenager in a way he never remembered being soothed. His aunt and uncle wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole when he was upset. They would tell him to stop crying and throw in him his cupboard. Sirius, however, craved for him to have the physical, comforting affection.
"Then, don't blame yourself. You were a baby who had nothing to do with it. I'm at more fault than you are, I was an adult who made a choice. You had no choice."
The door swung open and Sirius refused to look at the Auror he knew was standing there. Harry was shaking, his shoulders shuttering as he held back his sobs and tears.
"Give us five more minutes," Sirius barked harshly.
"It's time to go, Harry," Shacklebolt ignored Sirius and turned his attention to Harry who couldn't move.
"Harry…" Sirius spoke softly to him. "It's not your fault. Do you understand me?"
"Harry, now," Shacklebolt's voice became louder, demanding.
"Five more minutes!" Sirius snapped, turning his attention to the Auror.
"Don't start with me, Black. I can get your visiting privileges revoked easily enough," he spoke in a cool, calm manner.
The words must have shaken Sirius to his core, because he clamped his mouth shut and his lips formed into a thin line. His gray eyes shot back to Harry's face, his hands tightening to give his godson one last comforting squeeze.
"Go, Harry," Sirius said defeated. "I love you, alright? Don't forget that."
Sirius' hands pulled away from his, the chains clanking together. Harry suddenly felt empty, his eyes glancing down at his lonely hand. He forced the lump down in his throat, his hands bracing himself as he stood up. He licked his lips, the words I love you too on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't get himself to say the words. He had never said those words to anybody before as nobody had ever said them to him before Sirius came along. His heart hammered in his chest.
"Harry," Shacklebolt's voice was harsh.
He stepped around the table and, for the second time his life, he initiated a hug. His arms were tightly looped around Sirius' neck. His godfather's hands were instantly clenching his elbow. Harry was very well aware that he needed to leave, the threat of revoking his visiting privileges were hammering into his mind.
"I…I…" Harry started, his mouth dry as a desert.
"I know," Sirius murmured in his ear. "I know you do."
Harry pulled back slowly. Sirius got him, understood him in a way no one else had before. He nodded at his godfather before turning around and following Shacklebolt out of the prison. He suddenly felt stupid for not being able to say those three words to his godfather. The man had given him so much in the past couple weeks. He finally had someone who cared for him, loved him, wanted him around and he couldn't even let his godfather know he felt the same exact way.
That night, Harry had excused himself early from dinner which didn't seem the bother the Dursleys at all. They were more than glad to get rid of him. He put his dishes in the sink before making his way upstairs. He closed his bedroom door and collapsed on his bed. His hands tucked neatly under his head, his mind thinking about to his godfather.
I love you, alright?
He didn't know how long he laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about his godfather. He imagined him grabbing Scabbers after the welcoming feast, stunning him, marching to Dumbledore's office, and revealing to everyone so smugly that Sirius Black was innocent. He imagined riding the train to King's Cross for Christmas break, Sirius waiting for him at the train station to take him to his new home. It was just the two of them, the perfect family.
I love you, alright?
The doorbell sounded throughout the house causing Harry to jump slightly. He glanced over at his clock to see it was nearing seven at night. His uncle would be furious. He hated late night, unannounced calls. He lolled his head back to stare some more at the ceiling, ignoring the muffled voices below.
I love you, alright?
"BOY!" Uncle Vernon bellowed from down below.
Wincing, Harry sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He slowly walked to his door, wondering if Dumbledore had come to pay him another visit. Descending the stairs, Harry saw no one in the foyer. Confused, he made his way to the parlor only to see Remus Lupin standing with his aunt and uncle. Lupin gave him a warm smile as he entered.
"Harry, I was talking with Professor Dumbledore, and he suggested that I invite you to spend the rest of the summer with me. Your aunt and uncle have granted you permission if you would like to visit with me. I have promised I'd take you to King's Cross on September first."
"What?"
Harry was beyond confused. He knew this man in front of him had been friends with his parents, but he had also conveniently stayed out of Harry's life successfully for twelve years. Was he suddenly showing an interest in him just to keep him from visiting Azkaban?
"Would you like to accompany me to my house for the remainder of the summer?" Lupin spoke warmly.
Any other summer, Harry would have jumped at the idea to stay with someone other than the Dursleys – especially someone who had been close to his parents. He knew he'd be safe there as Dumbledore never would have suggested such a thing if he thought he were in danger. He debated internally. On one hand, he would not be able to see Sirius the rest of the summer. On the other hand, he'd spend the rest of the summer with his father and godfather's friend.
"Okay," he said before he could stop himself.
"Why don't you go pack then? Do you need help?"
"Uh, no, I'll be fine."
Harry backed out of the parlor and made his way up to his bedroom in a daze. He packed his trunk quickly, guilt washing over him at the thought of having to owl Sirius and tell him that their in-person meetings would cease. I love you, alright? He let Hedwig out of her cage and told her to meet him at Remus Lupin's house. She must have understood where he meant, because she didn't even glance back at him like he was stupid for not providing an address.
Dragging his trunk and Hedwig's cage downstairs, he saw Lupin waiting for him in the foyer. He smiled pleasantly at him as he made his way down the stairs. Lupin took his trunk and held out his arm, asking Harry to grab a hold of it. He did as he was told and felt a rather unfamiliar and sickening feeling like he was being sucked up by a vacuum.
Number Four Privet Drive disappeared in a swirl and replaced by the view of a small cottage. Harry thought he might be sick and tried not to throw up on his shoes. Lupin waved a hand to indicate the cottage was their destination. On wobbly legs, Harry marched forward with Lupin trailing closely behind him. When they reached the front door, Lupin's wand tapped the wood and it burst open.
Harry didn't know why he agreed to stay with Remus Lupin. He knew it was only to keep him from visiting Azkaban. He doubted Lupin would have asked him to stay otherwise considering he'd never even talked to the man before Sirius contacted him. Harry guessed he was just as curious about him as he was Sirius Black. Stepping inside the small cottage, he looked around to see his new home for the next three weeks. It was quaint with a stone fireplace tucked away in the corner that was littered with picture frames. A worn couch and chair were situated around a ratty coffee table and there were even matching end tables.
Lupin moved past Harry, bumping his elbow on accident with his trunk. The front door shut by magic as the older man loomed in front of Harry. He tore his eyes away from looking around the room to look at his father's friend.
"It's not much, but it's home," he commented as he waved a hand absentmindedly behind him.
"It's fine," Harry said automatically. "It's not all… stiff and posh like my Aunt Petunia's house. She has chairs you're not even allowed to sit on. They're strictly for decoration purposes only."
"Well, I daresay, I don't have any decorative chairs. They're all free game."
Harry forced a smile as he stepped into the room, the pictures on the fireplace calling him like a siren. He wasn't even aware of walking towards the mantle as familiar faces stared at him. His chest felt tight, his head swimming. The corners of his mouth were being pulled upwards by an invisible hook.
The first picture to catch his eye was one of four boys with their arms all slung around each other's shoulders. He recognized his dad immediately standing in the middle with a wide grin and a smudge on his glasses. His arms were around Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew while Remus Lupin stood on the other side of his godfather. They couldn't have been older than Harry was – around thirteen or fourteen. They were clad in their Gryffindor robes in the Great Hall. They were all laughing about something, mouths moving as though telling a silent story.
Next to it, sat another picture that must have been from his parents' wedding. They were all seated at a long table. His mother and father were looking to their left as Sirius stood up with a champagne glass in his hands. He was waving his hands madly in the air, as though in the midst of telling a grand tale. He noticed Lupin, who sat next to him, was suppressing a laugh as he shook his head in the negative. His father looked embarrassed, his teeth bearing in a grimace as his mother laughed openly next to him.
The next photo took him slightly by surprise. It must have been Christmas as there was a ginormous, decorated tree in the background. On the floor, in matching Christmas pajamas, sat Lily and James. A small baby with messy black hair was situated in his father's lap. Harry realized it must have been his first Christmas. Sitting next to James, in the same matching pajamas, sat Sirius Black. He was leaning around James and tickling the baby on the stomach. His baby self laughed, his fingers trying to grab the digits to shove them into his mouth. Sitting next to his mother, was Remus Lupin who did not share in on the matching pajamas. He leaned over and whispered something in his mother's ear who laughed, her head rolling backwards. Whatever he said, his father must have heard because he plopped baby Harry into Sirius' arms and reached behind his wife to push his friend. Remus Lupin, laughing, fell to the side into Peter Pettigrew who too was laughing, his hands clenching his sides.
"We were like a family once," Lupin spoke suddenly behind him, causing Harry to whip around to stare at the man. "Your grandparents on your dad's side died shortly after your parents got married. They both were very old and contracted Dragon Pox. They died within days of each other. Your grandparents on your mum's side died in a car crash a month after you were born. Lily didn't talk to her sister, as I'm sure you know. Sirius Black had renounced his family, claimed he hated the lot of them. He lived briefly with your grandparents and James for awhile while at Hogwarts before he moved out after graduation. My mother had died shortly after I graduated Hogwarts and my father and I… had a falling out of sorts. Peter's parents weren't exactly the loving type. He wasn't particularly close to them. His father was quite harsh and his mother was an enabler, afraid to stick up for her son and therefore fell out of grace with her only child. We kind of all… made each other our family since we were all so lacking in that department towards the end."
"So, what changed?" questioned Harry as Lupin gave him sad sort of smile.
"You know what changed."
"I get that my parents died, but I didn't. You could have had Sirius too if you would have just listened to him. He said he wrote to you when he was taken to Azkaban to explain things. Did you even read his letter?"
"Your parents were dead, Harry. Peter was dead. Sirius was the reason for all of that. He murdered Peter and he as good as killed your parents. As for you… I wanted to see you and be a part of your life. I was denied that request time and time again until very recently."
"Sirius didn't do it."
"Harry, I don't know what Sirius told you, but he mustn't be trusted."
"I know about you. I know you're a werewolf," Harry said confidently as Lupin flinched. "I know about Sirius, my dad, and Peter being illegal Animagi for you. I know Peter's a rat."
"Harry-"
"Sirius said that Peter was the Secret Keeper. They switched at the last moment because he was the obvious choice. He was scared that his cousin, who was a Death Eater, would be able to break the secret out of him. He didn't think that anyone would suspect Peter. But Peter was the spy. He'd been a spy for a year before my parents' deaths. He'd been passing my parents' whereabouts for a whole year before he betrayed them. Sirius confronted him. Peter shouted for everyone to hear that Sirius was the Secret Keeper. It was Peter who blew up the street. He cut off his finger and he transformed into a rat. Sirius laughed because he couldn't believe that Peter bested him, couldn't believe that Peter had been clever enough to pull it off."
"So, that's the story that Sirius told you?"
"It isn't a story!" Harry shouted, his fists clenching at his sides. "Just talk to him! If he was like family once, then give him the chance to tell his side of the story!"
"Harry-"
"Is Peter a rat?"
"Yes, but-"
"My dad was a stag and Sirius is a dog."
"Yes, but, Harry-"
"So, it's not a story! Just hear him out! After everything they did for you! They became illegal Animagi for you! Just listen to his side of the story!"
"Don't you see, Harry? Everything that Sirius has been telling you is backwards! It was Sirius who had been a spy for a year before your parents' deaths! It was Sirius who was passing information about other members of the Order of the Phoenix! He had firsthand knowledge of every attack that the Order suffered!"
"What's the Order of the Phoenix?" Harry snapped, feeling anger rise up in him.
"Oh, so Sirius didn't tell you about the Order of the Phoenix, did he? It was a group of people fighting against Voldemort under Dumbledore's charge. We knew there was a spy in the Order but we could never pinpoint who it was. After Sirius was arrested, it all made perfect sense. He was close to those who died! He was all of their friends!"
Harry could hear his blood pumping in his ears. His faith in Sirius waivered slightly, his heart sinking just a tad. He pushed those thoughts behind him. He couldn't fail Sirius – his godfather. Sirius didn't kill Pettigrew. He identified him as Scabbers. It would be pretty easy to determine if Sirius was lying. Plus, what would Sirius have to gain by manipulating him with stories of his past, of stories of his parents? He was stuck in Azkaban.
"Was Peter in the Order too?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then, why are you blaming Sirius off the bat and not Peter? Peter would have known just as much about the other Order members as Sirius!"
"PETER IS DEAD!" Lupin roared, his eyes blazing with fury.
Harry took a step back away from the man, his mouth wiring shut. His chest heaved and he vaguely wandered if he should grab his trunk, call the Knight Bus, and make his way back to Privet Drive. His eyes darted to the front door, his whole body tense.
"Forgive me, I'm sorry," Lupin spoke softly, as he took a deep breath. "You're as persistent as your father."
Lupin raked a hand through his hair sandy, gray hair. He looked exasperated as his gaze caught Harry's. Deep frown lines appeared across the man's face as his hand fell to his side. He licked his lips as though buying himself some time before speaking again.
"I can go…" Harry gestured towards the door. "I can go back to my aunt's if you don't want me here."
"No. No. I want you here, Harry. I've thought about this moment for a long time, having you come to stay with me and reconnecting. I… can we not talk about Sirius Black or Peter Pettigrew? Maybe start over?"
Lupin sank down into the nearest armchair, his hands clenching the arms so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Harry, numbly, nodded his head in the positive and took a seat on the couch across from him.
"My name is Remus Lupin. I met your parents when I was eleven years old. They were… some of the best friends I ever had," he started, a tight smile crossing his scarred features. "I'm going to be teaching at Hogwarts this year. Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am hoping you can keep my secret of being a werewolf to yourself. Most people don't think too kindly of werewolves. You don't seem… bothered by it."
"Should I be bothered by it?" questioned Harry. "You seem perfectly normal to me. My dad and Si- my dad didn't seem bothered by it. He became an Animagus for you after all. Not to mention, he let you around me when I was a baby so I'm assuming he'd probably be pretty upset with me if I were bothered by it."
"Your dad was brought up not to hold prejudices," Lupin spoke slowly. "Most people aren't brought up like that. I think your assessment is correct though. James would have been highly disappointed in you if you did hold such prejudices."
"I'll keep your secret. I won't tell anyone."
Harry thought back to what Sirius had said on the matter and decided it wasn't worth getting Lupin fired over. He knew that not only his dad, but Sirius as well, would have hated him if he didn't keep the secret. Harry had nothing personal against Lupin, didn't even care if he was a werewolf. He cared more about the fact that the older man wouldn't give Sirius Black the benefit of the doubt – his own friend who was still holding a torch for him amongst the betrayal.
"Thank you, Harry."
"Do you mind if I go to bed now?"
"No, not at all. Let me show you your room."
Harry crossed to the front door to grab his trunk. Lupin grabbed Hedwig's cage. He led him to a small bedroom off the kitchen. It wasn't much but it would do. There was a double bed in the middle of the room with a nightstand and a single lamp. There was a dresser off to one side. Hedwig was already sitting outside of the window patiently for Harry to let her in.
Smiling, Harry rested his trunk against the wall before running to the window to let his owl in. She hooted in greeting before swooping over to the dresser. Lupin had crossed the room and pulled out a few owl treats from his jacket pocket and set them down in front of the owl.
"She's remarkably smart," Lupin commented fondly. "I'll let you get settled. Let me know if you need anything."
With that, Lupin left, closing the door softly behind him. Harry grabbed his trunk and dumped it onto the bed. He opened it and pulled out the photograph of his mother and father dancing together. He carefully sat it up on the nightstand. He couldn't explain why, but he liked to see the photograph every morning after he woke up. It even resided by his bedside at Hogwarts.
Digging back into his trunk, he pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. He went over to the dresser and put the parchment down so he could write.
Dear Sirius,
I won't be able to visit you again before going off to Hogwarts. Remus Lupin stopped by my aunt and uncle's house tonight and invited me to spend the rest of the summer with him. I suspect, it's his and Dumbledore's way of keeping an eye on me and ensuring I don't go visiting you again. I agreed to go. You told me to give him a chance and you know how unpleasant my aunt and uncle are. He had been one of my dad's best friends. Any other time, I wouldn't have passed up on the opportunity to get to know one of my parents' friends and to leave the Dursleys. I hope you're not mad. I'll still write you. I'm going to try to convince him you're innocent. I don't want to tell him about Peter being Scabbers for the reasons I gave you last time I saw you. I need to see Peter for myself. I need to be there. I need to ask why.
Love,
Harry
Harry smiled despite himself, a ping of pride emitting in his chest. He may not have been able to tell Sirius he loved him back in person, but he was able to write the simple word on paper. Then, he remembered that he'd have to ask him owl to leave again after just arriving. He grimaced at Hedwig, holding out the letter. She merely stuck out her leg for him. He gave her a few pets and she was gone.
I love you, alright?
Thank you so much for all the positive reviews! They really enabled me to push forward and write this next chapter faster than I anticipated. So, please, keep the reviews coming and I feel you will see updates quicker that way. They really inspire me!