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Harry marched into the nearest Voldy-Mart's big box supermarket. Luna trailed behind him absentmindedly humming to herself and skipping; she still wore the bathing suit she had been wearing at the beach and many people (well mostly men) leered at his girlfriend. But Harry was more preoccupied with the ecological disaster he saw unfolding before him in this store and big box stores across the nation. There was plastic every where, not just in the products themselves, but single use plastics like bags.

He stopped by one of the cashiers placing a customer's purchases into a plastic bag.

Harry made an irritated sound in his throat and walked right up to them. Like really? He felt furious.

"You have no idea what you are doing, do you?" Harry asked in a presumptuous tone to the cashier and customer.

"Sorry?" the cashier asked.

"Beg your pardon, do I know you?" the muggle customer stammered.

"You're putting her groceries in a PLASTIC BAG!" Harry shouted at the cashier. Luna Lovegood heard him screaming and came to put her arm around his shoulders. Both the cashier and customer did a double take of Harry and Luna (in her bathing suit with long blonde hair still covered in sand) and thought they were crazy people.

They were the crazy people, Harry wanted to yell at them. These ecowasters! While he and Luna were ECOwarriors, hell yeah! On the right side of the battle, and the right side of history, while these corporate punks and sellouts were on Voldemort Inc.'s side.

"What's the problem here?" The cashier batted his eyes innocently like he didn't know he was doing anything wrong.

"What's the problem? Where to even begin! My girlfriend and I just buried a whale thanks to single use plastics like your stores bags!" Harry shouted and felt even more irritated.

"The whales are dying!" Luna yelled frantically and began to cry.

Harry balled up his fist - nothing hurt him more than seeing Luna's feelings hurt.

Harry walked right up to the cashier. He decided to use the Karen technique. Harry adjusted his glasses and stared in his most mad face at the minimum-wage paid employee. "I want to see your manager!" Harry hissed like a Karen.

"Okay then," the cashier said with a roll of his eyes. "Can you wait over there?" He pointed to a bench on the opposite wall.

Harry and Luna sat down there and Harry began to make-out with his cute ecowarrior girlfriend because the manager was taking their sweet time to show up.

Finally the manager showed up. Harry glared at her. "Do you have any idea of what kind of toxic environment you are running here?" he demanded.

"I'm just the manager, I don't make store policies," the manager said.

"I don't care what your excuse is," Harry said. "Do you have any idea what havoc plastic bags are wreaking on the planet! The oceans have more plastic in them then fish! Single use plastic items, like the ones you sell, are to blame! Where is the responsibility?!"

"Okay, sir, I'm going to have to call store security," the close-minded manager said, not understanding one word of what Harry was trying to teach her.

"I swear, muggles!" Harry swore under his breath then remembered his mum was muggleborn and not to hate them too much. That was Voldemort's job to be the magical supremacist. "C'mon Luna, let's go!"

Then as the store security tried to tackle him and Luna, Harry freaked out.

"Arresto momentum!" he shot his wand at the Security guard and they froze like a statue.

The muggles who witnessed the attack screamed in fright.

Luna and him just smirked. "Muggles," they whispered.

Soon the police arrived but Luna and Harry had already set fiendfyre to the big box store and incinerated the whole building.

"That's approximately 40,000 plastic bottles and single use plastics, we just saved from going into the ocean, or a landfill, leaching toxic waste into the soil and groundwater," Harry said proudly. "We're keeping Britain beautiful and clean!"

"I love you so much Harry!" Luna jumped up and down excitedly and began to make out with him with tongue.

A few muggles running out of the burning store passed by them and shoved the kissing couple.

"Hey watch where you're going!" Harry angrily grunted.

"Well, we better use one more magic spell here before we go," Luna smiled and took out her wand.

Harry left this more advanced magic up to his gifted, eccentric girlfriend. "Thank you, do it Luna."

Luna waved around her wand and proudly turned the ashes of the big box store into another big box store...except this store
was a Hole Foods and Natural Health foodstore.

"Good job!" Harry and Luna both clapped hands and cheered, before they mirthfully left the new Health food store and walked away arm in arm.

Many confused muggles who had been previously shopping in the big box store were confused how they ended up in a health food store but they started to buy the more expensive but healthier foods and eat healthier versions like 'health chips'.

Uh oh. Just as they were leaving however, Harry and Luna were stopped in their tracks by the sign of Voldemort Inc in the sky: the corporation's snake in a skull symbol appeared in the sky and they knew it was only a matter of minutes before the big guy himself showed up.

"Voldemort's not going to be happy, we closed down one of his stores and replaced it," Harry quipped.

"No he isn't," Luna's blue eyes widened.

Yet they satisfactorily took note of all the muggles leaving the new store with Reusable hemp shopping bags instead of single-use-plastic bags.

"WE HAVE TO STAY AND FIGHT!" Harry shouted and they both took out their wands as a troupe of Death Eaters started to march towards them.

"Quick make a line of peaceful protest!" Luna roared and waved her hands together, her boobs giggling in the flimsy swimsuit as she stared down the evil corporate shills marching towards them.

"I won't let go of your hand!" Harry promised. "This is for the whale!"

~o~

A/N: What will happen next? hmmm

~o~