SteBen Universe: Let's Do Things Right!

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Chapter 2: I AM NOT YOUR STEVEN

It was really hard to sleep that night. I was only willingly sleeping because I hoped it would help my brain get back to its senses.

Still, I was in Steven's universe the next day, too.

...

I kept eye contact and talking to the bare minimum. I had breakfast, and then waved to the Gems as they warped away to a mission — when I had an idea.

Maybe if I search Steven's house, I will find a comforting, solid proof that could reassure me that the reality around me was fake…

But the more I looked, the less sure I felt.

…

Chaaaaps.

Connie's bracelet in the freezer.

G.U.Y.S. Onion didn't steal Steven's Ranger-Guy yet.

M.C Bear-Bear.

Mister Queasy…

Oh, right, that's why I didn't find Steven's Cheeseburger Backpack yet.

Only yesterday the events of Gem Glow ended...

And I really expected to find it.

...

Just like reality, that world didn't care for what I felt or thought.

You'd think such delusion would be inconsistent. Fluid. Fleeting.

But it was solid and detailed.

Even the new strange house-smells were there. The wind and smell of the beach when I went out to the balcony… the warmth of the sun...

And the complete lack of the inner sense that it was a dream.

"It feels real…" I said, suddenly smiling to myself — what I heard was already a good sign!

Why didn't I bother to talk until just then?

"Wait, I don't really sound like Zach Callison!" I talked again — trying to hang on to that fact.

...

But then again, I didn't sound like myself, either.

…

Wait.

Isn't this normal, to not sound exactly like other people hear you?

If I was in Steven's body, it would have been weird if it did sound to me exactly like him…

"Oh no." I passed Steven's hands on his face — taking the opportunity to squeeze his cheeks and feel it. "This is really..."

Real?

Then I raised his shirt — and a little carefully, passed his finger on the rotated diamond, disguised as a rose quartz, embedded in his bellybutton.

I could feel the finger contact with the warm gem.

And that was weird as fuck.

I was biting on Steven's fingers, and walked back and forth in the living room. Anxiously waiting for someone to come back…

Eventually, the three Gems warped back.

The ones that looked like Pearl and Amethyst seemed to be bickering about the way 'Amethyst' handled their mission — I vainly tried to follow, but they used some names of things that I didn't remember from the show.

It would have been appropriate for Garnet to calm their argument down, but she looked at me instead — and went closer.

"Steven. Are you okay?"

"Uh… actually, no." I silently said.

Her face remained blank, but she knelt down. Somehow, she was still taller than Steven's body when standing.

She just waited for me to talk.

"I… I think I need some serious help." this was all I could start with.

"If you're still worried about the shield, don't be." she calmly said.

"...uh, what?"

"Just give it time. Trust me — you will learn how to control your gem eventually."

"Oh, right —" I palmed my face. I forgot the shield was even a thing!

If it was just my imagination — why would she say that, if I forgot it exists?

"No- no, that's not it. Please listen to me first. It's urgent; I am hallucinating. I can't tell the difference between fiction and reality. I… know it's stupid, but… I kind of… see myself as Steven Universe… like, y-you know, the character?" I examined my chubby hands again- closing and opening my fists. "I — seriously. I need help."

"I understand." she simply said, and stood up.

"You… you sure?" I asked after a few seconds — because she didn't move.

"Steven. You may feel like we expect you to be someone that you're not, but that isn't true. That's not a problem if you see yourself as Steven. You should be you. It's okay to be you."

"That's not what I mean! I see you as Garnet. But Garnet is a fictional character! She's not real!"

"...what?"

"And these two, behind you —" I gestured to the arguing duo — it made their argument subside a little, as they looked at me. "If they're even there, I also see them as fictional characters from Steven Universe!"

The two exchanged confused looks — and came to stand by Garnet. Amethyst smiled a little, while Pearl looked a little concerned.

"Steven, what do you mean?"

"I see you as Pearl — " I pointed at Pearl, and then at Amethyst. "And I see you as Amethyst."

"Pfft, you got me." she said, and shape shifted into a purple copy of Pearl. "Why, I was Pearl all along!"

"And now you're even changing form — just like Amethyst would! But Amethyst isn't real! Gems are not real! Steven's house is not real — Beach City is not real —" I opened my arms. "This world can't be real!"

"Okay, dude, this joke's getting old real fast." Amethyst shape-shifted back to herself.

"That's not a joke!" Pearl practically shrieked. "Can't you see how scared he is? He is obviously suffering from some rare… human condition!"

"Oh, you mean he's crazy?"

"Exactly, yes, thank you! I am crazy!" I said — relieved that someone gets it.

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Steven —"

"I am not Steven."

"Please, just take a deep breath. Calm down. Let's sit down.", The one that looked like Garnet said.

I sighed, and sat on the sofa.

"I want to understand. What makes you think that this is not reality?"

"Because! You are from a cartoon! Characters made by Rebecca Sugar!" I grabbed Steven's curly hair, looking at the three. "But... it feels real. It's consistent, unchanging with my thoughts, and I am completely lucid… I don't even…"

"Sugar?.. Wait." Pearl looked at Amethyst. "Could that be that 'brain freeze' Steven once told us about? Some sort of… ice cream poisoning from yesterday?"

Amethyst shrugged.

"He did faint, but uh…" she didn't seem sure.

I realized at that point that I didn't even hear any words that were loyal to the reality I know. If I was delusional, I was probably interacting with what I thought the characters would say.

There was really no point to convince anyone that it wasn't real.

"Actually, this world feels more real than the real reality right now..."

"...Steven." Garnet said, "The fact that you're questioning your surrounding and trying to make sense out of everything already proves that you're not crazy. But ultimately, you must also trust what your feelings and senses are telling you. They are your only connection to reality."

I looked at the Crystal Gems for a while, and sighed.

"Alright… I give up." I told them. "Let's say I believe all of this is real. I'll just... roll with it."

Worst case scenario, I'd look really stupid to someone real. It could only help me get the help I need.

"Oh, finally!" Amethyst groaned — and went to the fridge.

"No, Amethyst — I am not Steven."

"Ugh, so just 'roll' with being Steven, Steven."

"Well, you did make a drastic improvement in a matter of minutes… and from what I recall, brain freeze should be temporary…" Pearl contemplated, and then smiled and shrugged — her worry was completely gone. "Just keep your head warm, and I'm sure you'll be fine soon enough."

"And if you still don't see yourself as Steven, just remember we love you," Garnet made a small smile. "No matter who you choose to be."

They all seemed to be over it. They all seemed to be ready to go about their day.

I hurried to stand up on the table.

"Wait! Please — I just — I'll prove it to you!" I called. "I'll tell you things Steven has no way of knowing yet!"

"Steven, get off the —" Garnet started to talk,

"— Garnet, I know that you're a fusion of Ruby and Sapphire." I immediately said, "Ruby saved Sapphire when Rose and Pearl attacked, and then you accidentally fused, and then you ran away before Blue Diamond would shatter Ruby. You waited for Steven's birthday to tell him that."

I didn't even wait for Garnet's response — I just moved on straight to Amethyst, whose mouth was stuffed with food — and already looked at me, shocked. "Amethyst — I know you wrestle as Purple Puma in secret. You were made in Kindergarten Alpha. I know that when you emerged, you were alone, and lived by your own until Rose, Garnet and Pearl found you. And yes, I know what a Kindergarten is."

"What the —?"

"— and Pearl… I know Rose's biggest secret. I know who she really was — and I know who you belonged to — but I probably shouldn't say anything about it right now."

I looked at the white gem with pity a little, as she covered her mouth.

I then checked Garnet and Amethyst again.

"What is... going on?.." Amethyst gulped the food and asked, walking to stand beside Garnet. "Is that... even — are you really not our Steven?" she asked me.

"Yes, I'm really not him."

"But if you're not him… then where..?" Pearl took her hand off, and asked — until Garnet moved.

I gasped — she caught me from the shirt and lifted me in the air. In a matter of seconds, I found myself with my back violently pressed against the wall.

"You better talk. Now." she summoned her gauntlet. "What have you done to Steven?"

"Wait, Garnet!" Amethyst, Pearl and myself — we all cried out at once.

"I don't think I have anything to do with it — I'm just a normal person!"

"You know about Kindergartens, Blue Diamond, Pearl's past — you work for Homeworld, don't you?"

"No! I can explain —"

"Tell us where is Steven. Right now!"

She raised her fist, and I closed my eyes. It was in the size of my face. The real deal. A single punch would probably smash my skull into a pulp.

"Garnet!" Pearl yelled immediately. "Don't hurt them!"

"They did something to Steven—!"

"But this is Steven's body!"

I opened my eyes just for a fraction of a second, but closed them again — her fist was held high and seemed ready to go.

Someone raised the lower part of my shirt, exposing my stomach.

"See? His Gem is right there!"

To be honest, I had also forgot that I was inside Steven's body at that moment.

Garnet moved me again as she went up the stairs, and in a coarse, quick motion, she dropped me on Steven's bed.

I really hoped in that moment that if I open my eyes, I will find myself in my own bed.

I felt my heart beating like crazy. I think I was having a panic attack.

"Talk."

I opened my eyes, and looked at the three Gems surrounding me — but right then, it felt more like they were trapping me. Each of them looked cold and intimidating.

It was hard to think that the sole reason I was spared, was only because I was in Steven's body.

They don't know me. They don't care about me.

"Okay — I really love your characters and all, and you're all really, really scary right now," my voice broke a little, "And it makes it so much harder — I'll talk. But please... just give me a second…"

I took deep breaths, my eyes passed on each of them. I started to calm down a little — since they did, too — in fact, they all looked much less hostile suddenly.

When I finally looked at Garnet, I realized why;

I saw Steven's crying reflection on her shades.

I wiped his — my — tears…

Steven Universe's universe, indeed…

I focused on Steven's flip-flops then.

"...You're so not going to believe anything I have to say."

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A/N: I really appreciate your reviews! Thank you so much ^^

Also, just responding to Crazy's review:

Isn't Steven already rich and powerful? Steven is one of the strongest characters in the show... and also, his dad becomes multi-millionaire in S03...

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Would love to read any constructive criticism!

If I have any grammar mistakes, or if a character sounds too OOC, or if you have any thoughts, suggestions and ideas – all is welcome!