Chapter 2:
A silence hung throughout the Council chambers as the words echoed "Obi-Wan is dead."
Siri struggled to keep her emotions in check while standing in the middle of the most powerful Jedi in the entire order. She had known Obi-Wan since she was eleven years old, once rivals then compatriots, then friends until their relationship blossomed into something more and so very nearly crossed a line. There had been a time when Siri thought they might be able to change the rule of attachment by the sole power of their affection for one another, but as she matured, she realized that they had been young and naïve to ever think the Jedi would change just so they could act on their romantic attachment. Luckily, both she and Obi-Wan realized how selfish they were and put their romantic feelings aside, though it came at the cost of the closeness between them for nearly two decades, their friendship had forever been changed because of their decision, it was an unspoken thing that always loomed above them. More recently the two had been able to move past the pain over their failed relationship to discover that love still existed between them, maybe not the physical or romantic love they discovered in their youth, but something more real and pure - a unique and unmistakable bond.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion, and the voices in the chamber became muffled as she struggled with her thoughts. Her eyes focused on each of the Council members, noting how little reaction this news was attracting. She moved her vision to focus on Master Yoda who had always been a guiding source of compassion yet was always the anchor that kept so many younglings in line. For a brief moment they locked eyes, but uncharacteristically the powerful Jedi turned his gaze to the ground, avoiding her.
After another moment she felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned to see her own former Master Adi Gallia. "Siri, we will have to finish your mission briefing another time, I do hope you understand."
"Of course, Masters," Siri bowed and exited the room. She glanced back over her shoulder as the doors began to close, noticing the Council speaking in hushed voices.
"He understood the risks…" She heard Mace Windu say above the quieted voices as the door finally closed.
Siri sank down to one of the waiting area benches, her thoughts a jumble trying to understand what had happened. She had just seen Obi-Wan, she couldn't believe that was the last time she'd ever hear his voice or his ridiculous puns.
'Of all the idiotic ways to go, of course you'd be taken out by a sniper…' she closed her eyes to center her emotions.
Her thoughts drifted to what felt like a slideshow of Obi-Wan memories, they included the arguments during their younger years, late night discussions about the Force, and endless sparring matches. Inevitably her thoughts focused on a memory long locked away, a fateful mission and the cold floor of a doomed starship, beneath a blanket together…his warm breath on her neck, inexperienced hands fumbling in the darkness, the sweet and awkward dance of first timers.
Siri shuttered as she recalled how his hands felt and his lips tasted, it had been so long ago yet so vivid as she seemed to relive the moment now. They had never really talked about it since she made him promise not to ever remind her, and true to his character he had never brought it up again. A part of her always hated him for his devotion, many sleepless nights were spent wishing he'd break his promise and come to her only to wake up frustrated yet relieved.
It had taken many years of soul searching as well as time spent away from the Jedi on undercover missions for Siri to come to terms with the betrayal she felt at the Jedi Council and Code, but eventually she realized how to love without attachment which allowed her and Obi-Wan to repair their bond and reformed their friendship. Because of this she knew she'd be able to mourn his loss and then let him go…without feelings of possession.
But something began to nag Siri in the back of her mind. Her thoughts suddenly turned to a training session when they were younger. They were each required to run a course to mimic a battle scenario like the one on Naboo brought on by the Trade Federation. An exercise to practice saber against blaster fire, it was grueling and intense. Obi-Wan had just started to change saber techniques after his encounter with the Sith and was training himself in Soresu, which was usually ignored by younger Jedi because of its heavy emphasis in defense. But it was if form III was made for Obi-Wan because he excelled at the exercise, seemingly able to deflect nearly every blaster bolt with ease. Because of her competitive spirit at the time it annoyed Siri to no end that he bested everyone else in the training class, but now the memory of that moment gave Siri pause.
The Council chamber finally opened, and members began filing out. Siri waited until she saw the familiar face of her Master, she stood up and greeted her mentor. Adi offered a small, sad smile to her former apprentice.
"Siri, I'm so sorry…I know this must be difficult for you." The two women began to walk in stride side by side as if no time had passed since their missions together. "I know you and Master Kenobi were very close."
Siri nodded, shortly after they had decided not to act on their attachment for one another Siri had reluctantly confided in her teacher, knowing she needed guidance to manage her feelings. "Yes, I must admit that I'm struggling with this news Master Gallia."
"That is understandable, given your history…"
"It's not just that," Siri stopped near one of the large windows overlooking the city planet. "How could this have happened? A sniper took out Obi-Wan Kenobi? After everything that stubborn Gundark has survived, a stray blaster bolt is what did him in? It doesn't make any sense."
"We are not invincible Siri; other Jedi have been killed by far less."
She pondered that for a moment and shook her head. "But we trained to sense and avoid blaster fire, even from snipers. And much to my chagrin Obi-Wan was the best in our class…I just don't see how this could've happened."
Like Yoda it appeared that Adi was avoiding her former Padawan's gaze. "Well, Master Kenobi has been on the front lines since the beginning of this war, even those strongest with the Force would grow battle weary and potentially lose focus with all he's been through."
"I suppose so…" Siri's gaze shifted towards movement at the entrance of the temple, she saw in the distance a slender figure slowly climb the steps, in his arms was the lifeless body of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Siri suppressed a sob and turned back towards her Master. "It just doesn't make any sense."
Adi finally turned to look at her former student. She gently took Siri's hand. "My dear Padawan, very rarely does war and death make sense." She began to lead Siri away from the window. "I must go and prepare for Master Kenobi's funeral rites. Come to the memorial to say goodbye to your friend, some closure will allow you to release your grief into the Force."
"Yes Master." Siri bowed as Adi Gallia left to join the rest of the council in the memorial chamber.
His body lay beneath a white shroud in the center of the room as mourners began to gather to pay their respects. Siri pulled the hood of her Jedi cloak over her head and sat above the scene on one of the benches. She couldn't bring herself to stand next to the pyre, the last thing she wanted to do was to possibly tarnish his reputation of being a strict adherer to the Jedi Code by having a weeping former lover making a scene. A sob broke the silence in the room, Siri glanced down at the Duchess of Mandalore who apparently had no such qualms about that.
Siri studied her, 'Oh Satine, you and I should really get a drink sometime. I am probably the only other woman in the galaxy who understands how you feel at this moment…at least I better be the only other woman in the galaxy who knows how you feel.' Siri inwardly chuckled to herself. 'Leave it to the man who has become the standard of morality for Jedi students to have had two loves left in his wake.' She looked again at the Duchess, her heart felt sad for this woman who did not have the same code and discipline to fall back on as Obi-Wan and Siri did, yet she still was able to let him go. There was a strength to that, and Siri found herself admiring the strong-willed blonde woman. 'Gods, you had a type, though didn't you Kenobi?' She thought to herself.
As they lowered his body into the cremation chamber, she felt the heat of tears escaping from her eyes and silently dripping down her cheeks. A beam of light came up from beneath the ground, signifying his spirit being carried off to become one with the Cosmic Force. Obi-Wan being a hero of the Republic did grant him a larger attendance of politicians than most Jedi memorials, Siri knew this would've made him very uncomfortable which did cause her to smile at this realization.
She also noticed a couple of clone troopers adorn in their dress fatigues saluting his body as it was lowered, 'Is one of them crying?' She wondered to herself as she studied the identical faces. She had heard that Obi-Wan had grown close to his battalion, and that he was one of the first to treat the clones as individuals which in turn cemented a fierce loyalty from his troopers. She had never in her wildest dreams could have imagined that the clumsy boy who always seemed so unsure of himself would grow up to be one of the best strategic military minds in the galaxy.
'You were always full of surprises Obi' she thought to herself.
Her eyes continued to look at the faces of those who had come to mourn such a tremendous loss, unable to bring herself to actually watch as they laid Obi-Wan to rest, her gaze finally focused on a tall figure standing at the foot of the pyre. The glow casting a long, dark shadow behind him. Siri's heart broke when she saw the look on his face, in that moment Anakin Skywalker looked like the young boy Siri had met all those years ago – his eyes so full of pain and sorrow, yet he was trying to mask it from everyone around him. Siri knew what Obi-Wan and his protégé had was special, unlike most Master and Apprentices they were closer in age which turned their relationship into a strong friendship once Anakin had reached the trials. They had become brothers and best friends, knowing one another as only a best friend could…she realized in that moment just how much Skywalker had lost with the quick shot from a sniper rifle.
As the funeral ended and mourners began to leave Siri noticed that Anakin refused to move. Even his close friend Senator Amidala and his apprentice Ahsoka couldn't convince him to turn away from the now darkened pyre. Once there was no one left except Anakin and Siri she descended the stairs and stood next to the grave.
They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity, neither knowing what to say. Siri noticed that Anakin was gripping something very tightly in his hand, she recognized the familiar lightsaber hilt. She looked back at Obi-Wan's grave and sighed, breaking the silence.
"Well, you really did it this time Kenobi…" Anakin's eyes snapped towards her as she continued. "This was not the way the famous General of the Republic was supposed to go out, only you could make your death so unbelievably frustrating."
Anakin let out a laugh mixed with a sob.
She looked up at him. "I'm so sorry Anakin."
He seemed to melt into his cloak in order to hide. "Aren't you going to tell me to let go of my emotions?"
"No"
Anakin huffed. "Then you'd be the first one today"
Siri shrugged. "I have learned that if we don't allow ourselves to deal with our emotions then we are simply bottling them up and allowing them to fester instead of truly letting them go." She moved closer to him. "Funnily enough it was your Master who helped me realize that."
"Obi-Wan said that?"
Siri glanced back at the pyre. "It wasn't exactly something he said, but it was something I learned because of him." She looked up at the confused and grief-stricken face of the young Jedi Knight, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "One day when the war is over, and all of this isn't so raw, you and I will sit down and reminisce." She smiled a sad smile. "There is a lot about our friend that even you don't know."
Anakin rubbed tears on the sleeve of his cloak and sadly nodded. Siri could sense the anger coming off the young man. "I failed to protect him; I wasn't strong enough."
Siri thought about her words carefully, she realized that Jedi rhetoric was not what he needed. "I see your Master taught you to carry the weight of something completely on your shoulders instead of realizing that there was nothing that you could've done to prevent it." Anakin quickly looked away and she continued. "His death was not your failure, you have enough to deal with right now without adding guilt to the list."
"Why'd he have to die?" His voice quivered and he sounded so very young in that moment.
Siri again knew she probably should recite something from the Jedi code, but instead she said "I don't know."
He sighed. "I just don't understand how this happened; we've fought snipers before…how could he be gone?
"It doesn't make sense does it? A sniper shouldn't have been able to get the upper hand on a Jedi, at least not when the Jedi is focused on him." Siri echoed his sentiment.
Anakin's body tensed "I swear I will find Rako Hardeen and make him pay for what he's done."
Siri looked back up at the unbridled rage in Skywalker's eyes and it frightened her. "I probably should be the Master here and remind you that revenge is not the Jedi way, but at the end of the day the choice will be yours alone no matter what I recite to you." She forced him to look at her. "But what I will say is that it would besmirch the memory of Obi-Wan and everything he fought and died for if you kill Rako Hardeen because of your grief and I know you wouldn't want to do that to him."
The powerful Jedi finally lost his composure and collapsed into Siri's arms, sobbing. She in turn did her best to comfort Anakin. "He was so very proud of you Ani…sometimes obnoxiously so."
Another sob filled chuckle came from the young Jedi.
She released him from their hug and held his gaze. "Even drunk he would always say that training you was the most important thing in his life, the greatest moment to him was the day you passed the trials. Your success meant more to him than his own." Anakin shifted uncomfortably. "Now it's up to you to honor his memory, be the Jedi…the man he always knew you would be."
Anakin nodded. "I'll try,"
"Remember, do or do not…" She began to recite the old saying.
"There is no try." He finished the saying with her.
They stood in silence for another moment, allowing themselves to gather their emotions before returning to their duties. It was Anakin's turn to break the silence. "I just keep expecting him to pop up and tell us that this didn't really happen, that none of this was real, like it was one of his stupid jokes."
It was Siri's turn to let out a choked-up laugh.
Anakin continued, "…it's so odd, but I swear I can still sense him."
"I know, me too…" Siri's eyes then widened briefly as a thought crossed her mind. She turned to leave after a moment. "You're right though Anakin, none of this feels real."