.

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i was hot

i went to parties a lot

.

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"I was Miss Mystic Falls for Gossakenotevenrespectedanymoreunbelievablewerewolvesandvampirescomingonmyturf―"

Klaus' lips dance at the corners of his mouth upon hearing Caroline's angry grumbling.

"You were what?" his fingers pick at the fluff escaping from an embroidered cushion on the couch.

"It is a high honour," Caroline spits, her tiny scrubber brush frantically moving back and forth against the hardwood floor.

"I'm sure," Klaus smirks, his eyes fixed on the soft fluff poking out at him.

"It was not supposed to be like this," her muttering is lower this time, sadder.

Her normal, Prom Queen life was not supposed to lead her down a road that ended with blood stains and tranquilizing sort-of-dead hysterical women. Klaus had, unhelpfully, added that all women are hysterical, and that seemed to be his only contribution to the madness. Caroline, who is way beyond angered and betrayed, is going to kill Stefan when he comes home. How dare he dump this mess on her! As if she wasn't dealing with her own issues. She's dead herself, you know.

"You don't believe in fate?"

Caroline's brush freezes.

"I'm sorry?"

"Fate," Klaus flicks a piece of white fluff into the air. "Destiny."

"You think that some asshole in the sky had always planned for me to die and be stuck with you?"

"Maybe," he shrugs. "Perhaps it was meant to be. Perhaps this is precisely where you should be."

"Are you five?" Caroline grits her teeth. "This isn't a disney movie, Klaus. I was beaten and strangled to death by the love of my life. It wasn't pretty. It was awful. And now I'm stuck playing Cinderella to two murderers. So, no, there is no fate."

Klaus quirks an eyebrow at her. His calmness is almost eery.

"You think he was the love of your life?"

Caroline gapes at the werewolf on her couch.

"That's what you took from that?" She huffs and shoves herself to her feet. "Of course he was the love of my life. I loved him when I was alive, and if you haven't noticed," she points to the ever-present wound on her forehead. "My life is over." Storming toward him, she snatches the embroidered cushion out of his grasp. "This was my grandmother's."

"Let's hope your death brings you more luck, then."

.

.

.

The door has just clicked into place again when Caroline appears in front of him.

"Have a good day, Stefan?"

"I guess," he shrugs. His purple backpack falls to the ground with a thud.

"Do you?" Her arms cross over her chest. "Guess that?"

Stefan looks over Caroline's head, into the kitchen, to meet Klaus' focused gaze. The werewolf's shining, eager eyes watch their exchange. Stefan realizes he's in trouble.

"Yes?"

"Mmm, okay, so you saw nothing wrong with giving your address―of your shared house―to a psychotic dead woman?" Caroline steps closer to him and emphases his name angrily. "Stefan."

"Oh," Stefan mumbles, looking around as if she would jump out at him at any moment. Klaus thinks he should be far more concerned with the furious blonde in front of him.

"Oh?" Caroline growls at his response.

"The dead girl came here?" Stefan mutters in bewilderment.

"No, I spent all day scrubbing blood off the floor for fun," Caroline throws her arms outwards.

"Crap," he rubs a hand along his face.

"You know how it got there?"

"I―"

"Her jaw fell off."

"We―"

"Her jaw fell off of her face, Stefan."

"Ri―"

"And onto our floor."

"I'm―"

"What did you do, Stefan?" Caroline narrows her eyes at him.

"Me? Why would I have―How could I have―"

"What is this, huh? An attempt at making a vampire bride gone wrong?" Caroline continues, ignoring his protests.

"Bride?" Stefan shakes his head, mouth hanging open.

"You know what? I don't care! There is a drunk, dead woman in our guest bedroom and I am not equipped to deal with it," Caroline swings around on her heel and storms away.

"Why would she think I would make a vampire bride?" Stefan gapes at Klaus.

"I suggested it."

.

.

.

Caroline is sitting on her bed with her arms crossed as if Stefan can see her sulking from downstairs. She knows deep down she's not really angry at Stefan but at her life, or, more so her lack of one. However, she also believes that Stefan is due a couple hours of her wrath. He's definitely got things to repent for.

Klaus knocks his knuckles against her door even though it's open and she's looking at him.

"Am I also in trouble?" His wide, puppy-dog eyes are comical. Caroline purses her lips to keep herself from laughing at the pun. She shakes her head.

Klaus steps into the room only to lean against the wall beside the open door. Caroline peers up at him while his eyes take in the room. He has such vibrant eyes and soft features. Perhaps if she were alive―

What? No.

"Is there something you wanted?" She hopes her voice sounds stronger to him than it did to her.

"Nope," he answers. Caroline blinks. Silence settles between them. She decides not looking at the hair she wants to run her fingers through is probably the only way she'll stop herself from actually doing so. Not that either of them could feel it.

"How did you meet Stefan?"

Her gaze jumps to him again. His head is tilted. His eyes studying her.

"He came through the front door," Caroline leans back and flicks her narrowed eyes over his lean body. "How did you meet him? Your hands met as you reached for the same victim? You overcame your instinctual hatred for one another at the sight of his dreamy eyes?"

He's beaming at her. She's trying not to shiver.

"That's a stereotype and quite frankly I'm surprised at you, Caroline."

"Don't call me that."

"Don't call you by your name?"

"That's what I said."

Caroline attempts to put all of the venom she's capable of in her seething glare. She can't help but notice that Klaus has perfected the art of hiding one's emotions. She can't help but notice how much she preferred when he was making puppy eyes at her.

"You're increasingly difficult," Klaus hums.

"Thank you," Caroline looks out of her tiny window.

He only leaves when Stefan calls his name. Caroline releases a nervous breath.

Acting unaffected is becoming increasingly difficult.

She needs to get rid of this troublesome werewolf.

.

.

.

Klaus strolls into Stefan's room. The dramatic dead girl from this morning sits on his bed with her head in her hands. She's still crying. He's surprised she has that much hydration in her walking, bloated corpse.

"Look at me! I'm dead!" She wails. Stefan looks to Klaus for help. He receives a shrug.

"Yes, you are. Uh, I'm sorry. But, do you have any idea what happened to you? People don't just come back from the dead," Stefan says, ignoring Klaus' snort.

"He did something to me," she cries.

"Who?" Stefan hesitantly places a hand on her shoulder.

"Some guy!" she exclaims.

Klaus smirks at Stefan's impatient expression.

"Okay," Stefan sighs. "What did he do?"

"He stuck me with a needle and then I woke up in the morgue! The morgue!" Tears―and a whole eye―fall from her face. She picks it up and pops it back in.

"Where were you when this happened?"

"I don't know! I was drunk!"

Stefan looks like he may kill the girl all over again. Klaus wonders if that's possible.

"What did the guy look like?"

"Dark hair and dark eyes. He was really pretty, actually," she nods enthusiastically.

"Okay. Thanks, Amy," Stefan pats her shoulder gently before walking over to an observing Klaus.

"Vampire initiation gone wrong?" Klaus quirks an eyebrow.

"No, that isn't how you make a vampire," Stefan shakes his head. Klaus notices how he wrings his hands together. "This is something different."

They both stare quizzically at the wailing dead girl.

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.

.

Stefan is in a foul mood when he stomps into the kitchen. He growls at the mess.

"You were home all day!"

Caroline doesn't look up from the magazine she's reading. Klaus had picked it up for her with his morning paper (before the crazy dead lady showed up). It surprised her (in a good way) and frightened her (in a confusing way). She doesn't want him to start getting comfortable. He is not staying. She will not be convinced otherwise.

"Do I look like I do dishes?"

Stefan scowls and turns the tap on. His anger is probably best managed when scrubbing the plates anyway. The open window above the sink blows in a cool breeze which they hope will cool Stefan down in more ways than one. A fat, black crow lands on the windowsill. Stefan's whole body freezes. He stares at the crow like it's brought upon the plague. Klaus studies Stefan with an inquisitive gaze. He watches the bird flap its wing and enter their tiny kitchen.

Klaus is surprised when the bird flies at Caroline. But he's much more surprised when it goes through her.

Stefan chases the bird out with a tea towel. He maneuvers it out of the front door and hesitates, looking around outside, before slamming it shut. Klaus banks all of this information into his calculating brain. His eyes hone in on Caroline as Stefan walks back to the sink. He pulls the window shut.

"How can you sit on the chair and yet not touch that bird?"

"I can touch some things," Caroline shrugs while turning a page.

"But surely that means while you are currently touching something, everything else can touch you?" Klaus finds his voice a tad too hopeful for his own liking.

"I don't know the rules, okay?" She flicks the magazine in his direction. "I didn't get the Ghost Handbook!"

"She's too lazy to try."

"Excuse me, Stefan Salvatore," Caroline gapes. "What absolute crap―"

"Oh, come on, Care. When's the last time you tried? I mean, really tried," he gestures toward her with the scrubbing brush.

"Fine. I have no problem proving you wrong, Stefan."

"Knock yourself out."

Caroline scowls. The dead girl reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands at the kitchen door.

"I've decided to leave and go find a plastic surgeon," she announces to three people who are not looking at her nor do they turn to do so.

"Goodbye, Darla!" Caroline calls, sending a wave behind her.

"That is not even close to her name," Stefan shakes his head.

Caroline continues waving.

Klaus watches the dead girl, who has wrapped a scarf around her recently reattached jaw, disappear out of the front door.

"Guess you're back to being forever alone, then," Caroline gibes at Stefan.

"We all are," he comments wryly.

"What about you?" Caroline aims her narrowed eyes at Klaus. "Didn't want a go with the dead brunette?"

"I prefer blondes."

Stefan almost chokes on his own laughter.