Author's Note: Again, I don't own any of this. Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and actions, also a panic attack. So if any of that will upset you, please don't read. I don't really know how this is going. I don't think it's great, but I'm mainly writing for me anyway so I don't really care. Sorry it's a bit short. I knew what I wanted to do in this chapter and it didn't really work out. Comments are much appreciated.

The city rumbled beneath Jason as he looked down from the top of the tower. He hadn't meant to come up here. I mean, why would he, but now that he was here, it was kind of peaceful. He looked down and smiled before telling himself that it was a bad idea. But Jason knew bad ideas were still ideas. And even one idea was better than none. His hand instinctively went to his thigh. They weren't new, at least not in the last week new, and Jason doubted they would start bleeding again. And to be fair, who would care if they did.

Jason heard a door open behind him and quickly shook out of his trance. If it was Dick, god did Jason want to punch his lights out.

Dick came onto the roof slowly. It was the last place he could check and he was about to give up. If Jason wasn't here, at least he could go back and tell Garth and Rachel that yes, he had searched for an hour, and no, he didn't find him. He sighed as he saw the figure sitting over the edge. Looks like Dick was gonna have to talk to the kid. Jason was up within seconds of the door opening and was heading in Dick's direction with a menace, which may have scared Dick a bit.

"The fuck do you think you are huh?" Jason spat at him, but this was new. This wasn't pure anger, and Jason almost looked like he was about to break. He would beat Dick up first, but then he would definitely break.

"Woah. I just came to tell you Garth woke up." That wasn't really true. Okay it was, but not fully. Jason took a small step back, almost a stumble, before regaining his defense.

"That's good. Still doesn't explain who the fuck you are to barge into my room like that," Jason took a wild punch, barely hitting him in the ribs. Dick wondered if he was drunk.

"Fuck you man". Jason shook his head and walked off before turning to throw a wrench from the floor at him. Dick dodged easily, but Jason was getting too close to the edge for his liking.

"Hey. Just come back inside. Garth wants to see you". Jason scoffed before shaking his head.

"Jason". Dick called after him. He was pretty sure the teenager was ignoring him, but he followed after anyway, just to be safe. Dick had been here before, and as much as he hated Jason right now, no one deserves to be alone while they're in that place.

"Just go Dick". The voice was hopeless and though he couldn't see the tears, Jason was crying. Dick moved a bit faster towards him. Jason was about a foot away from the ledge and looking down.

"Jason step the fuck away. Now". It came out more pleading than Dick had meant but Jason turned around anyway. It didn't last for long though, as he looked back towards the city streets.

"It is beautiful you know". The city, the lights, the fall. Dick knew what he was talking about for sure now. How could he have been this stupid, let it get this far? Was he that oblivious?

"Jason please". Dick was full of pleading now, but he had almost gotten to Jason. He was within three feet now. Now arm's length. Jason took a step forward to the very edge and jumped.

Or he had meant to. Dick grabbed tightly to Jason's shirt and pulled him in towards himself. Dick pulled Jason further towards the middle of the roof until there was something to lean on. Jason slid down the hard metal and silent tears fell down his face. Dick sighed.

"Why?" It has been a couple minutes and Jason's voice was raspy from crying.

"What?" Dick was taken aback.

"Why the fuck did you stop me?" Jason yelled this, and there was anger there. His voice broke and he cried again. Silent tears.

"No. I understood the question -". He wasn't listening and cut Dick off with a quiet breath: "Why didn't you just let me pay?"

"Because it's not your fault! It's not your fucking fault okay!" Dick didn't think he would say it. After all, Dick knew it was his fault, not Jason's, that Garth got hurt. It was just easier to blame someone else.

"It is. Believe whatever you want to, but it is". Jason stood up to leave and walked towards the door Dick had come up through before Dick grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

"Don't you ever try something like this again". Dick's voice trembled a little bit, and he hated it.

"Yes mom". Dick didn't smile at the sarcastic chuckle, though Jason did.

"I'm serious Jason". Dick was, for the first time in a while, scared for Jason. And Jason's "whatever" in response was far from reassuring.

"Don't tell anyone about this please". Jason was serious again and Dick could tell he regretted it now, though he still might not in the future. Dick nodded in agreement before following Jason down the stairs and back to the tower.

Rachel was sitting at the barstool, eating cereal out of a bowl obviously not meant for cereal. She looked up at Dick and Jason as they came in before proceeding to look back at her cereal. Jason walked off to his room, trying to avoid the whole talking to people thing.

He couldn't believe he'd gotten that close. He wasn't going to jump, was he? He did. He'd forgotten about it already, but he did jump. It came back to Jason in a flood as his eyes filled with tears and he sunk down in the bathroom. He'd promised he'd never get to that point. He'd promised so many people he'd be alright. But he wasn't. And now Dick knew. And now he would tell everyone. And now Garth might still die. And now -

And now he was breathing too hard. He couldn't take breaths and his vision was blurry. Luckily he was already on the floor, otherwise he would have collapsed. Why couldn't he breath? It was like his lungs wouldn't inflate. He needed to run, to get where he didn't know, but he needed to run. But Jason couldn't even stand right now so running was out of the question. Why couldn't he just breathe?

Slowly Jason shut what he pretty sure was the bathroom door. It still slammed harder than he'd meant it to, but at least it was closed. His heart was beating out of his chest and his arms shook in front of him.

Curled up in a ball, he gave into the darkness and fell asleep. Afterwards, Jason would amend that statement, he actually fainted, but right now, he embraced the blissful escape of sleep. It was like death.