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Chapter 2 [~20 Minute Read]I finally let go of his hand as my sneakers reach the sand.
"Wow", we both say in unison. There's a lot of beauty in the world that I must miss out on; this marvellous clear sky and white sand makes me want to get outside more. Perhaps I've been putting an excessive amount of focus into my work.
"You know," Elias begins, "I could get used to this"
I let my hands rest on my hips and scan the shore in awe, "Well let me know if you plan to come to someplace like this again, because this… this is amazing"
He stutters for a moment, "I-... Yes."
The shoreline was scattered with the other operators from Rainbow. Some were already neck-deep in the ocean, others kicking balls around. I leave my sneakers at the sand's edge, before Elias and I walk up towards the shoreline.
The feeling of the sand between my toes was satisfying… and remarkable.
Eliza spots us from the water and sprints out towards us, her soaking hair looking like a waterfall over that bikini. "About time you two showed up!" She shouts, her eyes widening as she arrives in front of us. She begins laughing, "What are you wearing?!"
Showing up to the beach in my jeans may not have been the smartest idea.
Elias smirks, "As they say, 'the tighter the pants, the tighter the turns'"
I smack him on the arm, and the both of them chuckle. Eliza grabs her shorts and a towel, and throws them to me, still snickering like a little Goblin.
"Better get changed girl", her lighthearted and friendly tone was both taunting and inspiring.
She runs back into the water, and I hold the towel up to Elias, "Elias, Would you mind…?"
He perks his head up, and his pitch raises ever-so higher, "Of course, everyone knows I'm an expert at shielding women from danger", he jokes. I couldn't help but grin.
He holds the towel up for me while looking the other way, and so I start changing.
"So…" He begins, accidentally lowering the towel a little bit, "Who do you think will try to throw me in the water first: Jordan, or Dominic"
"I think if you lower the towel anymore I'll have to choke you with these jeans"
The towel jerks back up into its original position. "...If you are going to get thrown in the water," I answer, peeking my head around the towel, "It'll be because of your pants"
"You got a plan for those? I'm afraid these ones aren't to share."
I could feel his amusement even if I couldn't see it, and so I walk in front of him with my new black shorts. He throws the towel back over his shoulder and swiftly thrusts his pants down, shocking me for a moment, until I realised he had shorts underneath - which we found hysterical. "Don't worry," he manages, "The only people I flash are the ones who want to shoot me."
"I want to shoot you."
"Well," He grabs hold of his shorts, "in that case…"
Within a matter of nanoseconds, I have hold of his arms; his eyes dying in laughter. "Not today Mr Kotz, we don't want to send half the team into shock."
A deafening whistle arises from the centre of the beach, it was Mike.
"Gather round' you prancies!" He shouts; a sort of devilish grin appearing on his face as everyone began to circle in.
"Let us start with one of my team's old favourites: A sprint! Here to the hill." The SAS members stare at him blankly; clearly this is a classic joke within their group. He gestures towards an enormous hill, a few hundred meters away. "Anyone who makes it there after me, climbs it. I don't care how you do it, or what you do to get there."
I didn't think this would turn into a series of training exercises. Nonetheless, outrunning everyone will be easy. There's a lot of things Elias may be good at, and running is one of them, but sprints are my game.
Naturally, we begin to line up, but before anyone, excluding me, is even remotely prepared, Mike suddenly turns and bolts for the hill. They all end up scrambling over and around each other as they catch on to the trick. With a good start I catch up, and watch as Miles effortlessly reaches Mike within seconds, "You seem to be slowin' down Grandad"
"HA!" He retaliates, "Maybe in some ways, but others? There are some things you kids will never learn!" He turns towards Miles, and in a seemingly perfected motion, he grabs him, throws him over, rolls, then continues running at the same speed.
Faintly approaching from behind, I hear Dominic shout "Oh! so that's how he's gonna play"
To my surprise, Elias is now running alongside me, he smirks, and gestures towards the ocean, "care to take the scenic route?"
How was he so effortlessly matching my speed? I try to sprint faster, my legs trembling at the now painful steps I was taking in order to overtake him. Within seconds, he catches up yet again, and, while panting, manages to say something else to me. His voice was almost inaudible now, I didn't know whether the wind was disrupting his voice, or that I was simply just filtering him in focus. I… I just really needed to win this.
"Surprise!" A familiar voice exclaimed from behind. His blur appears momentarily in my peripherals, before both Elias and him disappear from sight.
Dominic.
The Win was now in my grasp - I needed to prove to myself that I could actually beat them… or rather… him… in something, however that may be done.
My focus was narrowed only to what was in front of me, I was so close that I could almost touch it. But an instant before I was celebrating my achievement, someone brushes past me, and lands on the hillside, causing me to stumble and land on top of them.
"You're lucky I'm a cuddler"
For fuck's sake.
I sit up, still on top of him, and look down at him against the bank, "Elias!? How!?" I scramble, trying to catch my breath. "I watched you get tackled by Dominic!"
He takes a few breaths before each word - at least I know he burnt more stamina than me. "Oh, yea… his… ankle… failed… tackle." He looks down towards his abdomen, "…cant… breathe…" I snap back to reality and quickly jump off, lying on the bank next to him.
My head sinks into the sand, before a long exhalation. "Sorry."
"No worries…" He takes a few deep breaths. "Impressive running, you're outstanding!"
I can feel my face beam up, either in envy or appreciation, I'm not sure which one. How does he have this effect on me? "Thank you, Elias, really. But despite that, you managed…"
He jumps in before I continue, and looks down at the sand-packed grass, "No, trust me… I probably got a head start. You were the incredible one." He can't really take a compliment, can he?
We watch as Mike calmy approaches us, not even a dent in his breathwork. "You two are like Magnets, you know that? Bloody inseparable." Elias and I exchange glances.
"Hey!" Dominic taunts as he approaches. "Mike, you know that wasn't fair! My ankle got fucked, and I was running in softer sand than your crusty legs were, and-and, Elias-..."
-"...Not gonna hear it. Up you go you muppet."
Dominic strangles the air before taking the sandway to heaven.
I pictured myself enjoying beach sports. But there wasn't much I could think about other than Elias consistently spiking the ball perfectly across the net, winning it for the team. Every. Single. Time… It's as if he is having the knowledge of every sport downloaded into his brain the moment he steps into the game. I wouldn't even be surprised if, when the duelling mats came out, he said, "I know Kung Fu". Instead, my favourite movie was never played out, and he and Dominic wrestled each other into the Ocean.
The surfing wasn't even meant to be a fucking competition, and yet it looked like he was competing in the world tournaments. Where on earth could he have even learnt that?
Don't even get me started on those fucking relay races. It seems the God's above have used their collective power to forge the perfect being, only to send him down just to fuck with me! I can't take it! How does he do it? How is he always better than me?! With every, single, fucking-"
"-Monika?"
"What."
His body freezes in time. "Oh, uh… sorry."
What have I done, there's nothing worse than releasing your anger on Marius' soft voice. "No no, no need to be sorry. I was just… upset. At a bee… A bee that's been stinging me all day today."
"Bees can only sting onc-"
"-So! Marius." I interrupted. "What did you want?" He still looked a bit shocked, perhaps my expression was still throwing knives at him. I shake my head and calm my expression a bit, releasing my breath slowly, and lowering my crossed arms. "Did you want to tell me something?"
He finally releases his breathe in a fast burst, almost as if he was holding it in, expecting me to do something to him.
"Ok. I. Well, not I. Dominic and I saw you and noticed, well, we thought-..."
"...-Thought you looked like a jaguar, ready to pounce on some Gazelle." Dominic finishes, as he walks to meet shoulder-to-shoulder with Marius. "We can see somethin's up, and whether I think it's just really funny to watch you get pissed or not, I still care about my… co-workers." He claws out, obviously searching hard for wording most suitable to his character.
Marius gestures back past himself, his words coming out much more smoothly now. "Come chop some wood with us for our Cabin fires. Trust me, it is a nice physical way of releasing tension."
I walk with them to the beachside and start tearing into the logs with our axes. No speech was needed, just the simple cracking, chopping and ripping of logs along the sides of the axe. It was… 'Nice'. Surprisingly. Thank's Marius.
I could still see the others around on the sand from where we stood. Including Elias, who was sitting alongside the other girls from the organisation.
From behind me, Dominic muffled, "Okay, that'll be enough."
I continued chopping the wood. Every time Elias finished saying something they'd all burst into laughter, with Eliza falling onto the floor at one point.
-"You can stop chopping the wood now Monika"
A few other operators joined in around him as he told some story, and I could see them lean in closer with every word he spoke. He was holding his hands in front of him as if saying "Oh, I'm not even a good storyteller".
-"Monika? Stop chopping that log!"
They all adored him, they loved him. It's just so... frustrating! Why must he attract the attention of every operator in this organisation, and hone every skill known to man, it just brings them all to him more! That time could be spent with me!
CRACK
...
I ground my thoughts for a moment, and look back. Both of the boys were staring at me in confusion, and not only was the log cut, but the foundation we used to chop it on was now split down the middle.
Dominic leans forward. "Alright then Mrs Hulk. How about we put the axe down and try something else. There's a lake due, fuckin, that way, of here" He gestures into the light forestry.
Marius jumps in, "It is quite close, and I think it is something you might need right now. Be back before the bonfire tonight, you know we want to see you there."
Will they? I doubt it. They're more likely to down a few beers and sing songs in German around the fire with Elias than click that I was even there that night at all. But nevertheless, I take their advice and go on the walk. Immediately. It's not a difficult location to navigate. And I leave without another word.
I need to make sense of this as I walk.
Ok. So.
What am I doing? Why am I getting upset over all of this? I should be enjoying myself, and trying to make use of the time I have before its back to my usual Sisyphean training. The only moments I seem to have been enjoying myself on this trip was… with… Elias… However, when he's outdoing me I've been getting upset. No, not 'upset', it's different, has more intent. It's worry, or… fear.
Do I fear his competence in 'everything' will drag him away from me? Or perhaps it's because if everyone admires him then he'll get close to someone else. Or… maybe I just don't feel good enough for him. Wait, why do I care?
Do I really desire his company that much? I'm not quite sure I understand why. Can I not stand my interactions with all the other operators? Or do I just enjoy time with Elias a lot more than I do with a friend. God, this is all too confusing.
Many more minutes pass as I ponder. But before my mind conjures up another thought, I take another step and peer around a tree, to reveal a gorgeous lake. Secluded from everyone, and everything. I scan around it.
Only the animals to watch and listen. I drip my fingers into the water, and to my surprise, was very warm. Desire grabbed hold of me and I tore the shirt from my torso and threw it off over my head, revealing skin that was more than begging to be revealed. I continued to fully undress, until there was just… 'me' left.
I marvelled at myself, and couldn't help but laugh. I've never skinny-dipped in my life. Not wasting another second, I found myself headfirst in that crystal clear water, splashing around laughing like I was mad... Or a kid. Same thing. There was something about this freedom that I've been longing for. The freedom to not care about driving attention towards me. I think that's what I keep getting upset about. I shouldn't have to force the attention of whatever makes me happy towards me, but instead, I should enjoy what moments I can share with others equally, and not have to force or 'hope for'. Whatever moments that they have belongs to them, and I can join in on that, and make it ours. It doesn't have to remain as a separate entity that I must attach to me. Why do I even bother trying to deceive myself… the 'they' is Elias, and I know it. This whole time I've been secretly wishing he were next to me alone in this Lake. That… would… be weird, wouldn't it? I'm naked. Maybe that's what I want.
Ok. Nope nope nope. Stop this. I'm fantasising about the stupidest shit. I'm a top tier operator, I'm more mature than that.
I reach the lakeside again, and hop out. Without any towel, I throwback on Eliza's clothing, wetting it through, and…- I feel my eyes hone into the forest like a dart, as my heart skips a beat and a riveting shiver shoots down my body like a lightning bolt.
Directly across the river, a human silhouette stands, watching me, and suddenly starts moving closer.
I blink, and it's gone.
That was terrifying. But not real. The shock was still enough to knock me off my feet and make me feel uneasy about the place though, especially with the sun now falling. I left with haste.
My toes reach the sand yet again, as dusk arrives. I could see the smoke of the bonfire long before I reached the beach. Still in my, now damp, skin-tight clothing. Thanks Eliza. I approach the other operators circled in areas around the flames. As always, Elias is seen smiling, most likely cracking some joke. Guess it's time to try "create the moment".
I near him, and notice he's speaking with Emmanuelle. I see her face, and Elias' Back.
"Oh trust me, I didn't do the wiring myself, to be honest, I hardly do any of it. Monika's the expert you want to worship for the design, honestly. Without her I'd have already shocked myself to death"
Emmanuelle glances at me for a moment after Elias' remark, and smiles. I was already grinning. He was oblivious to it all.
I take the opportunity to slide in next to him and hip bump him. "Look at you, making all the ladies Swoon. What are we gonna do about you?"
His face beams up like a lightbulb when he turns to look at me. "Oh so we have a new comedian?" Before his eyebrows hit the roof. "Wait, how much did you hear?"
"As much as you would have wanted me to." He opens his mouth to counter it, but ends up chuckling instead. I continue, "Elias. What were you doing."
Now he most certainly doesn't know what I'm talking about. "What I mean is, you always do such great things, and my god are you are fucking talented." I small wave of realisation hits me, "...And of course you are! I remember all the work you've put yourself through over the years to improve… at least… now I do. You have to stop pretending like it doesn't exist Elias! You're fucking amazing!"
I paralysed him. He stutters, and I now realise how close we've been leaning into each other, with our faces only moments apart. He looks down at my lips, then back up at my eyes.
He visibly takes a breath,
And quickly pulls back to sit normally again, laughing nervously, and placing his hand behind his head. "Guess I was a bit of a mess, wasn't I."
Why did I do that? I've just made things awkward. The plan was to join in on the conversation, and there I was, spilling out what I had just been inspiring myself with for the last few hours and then hoping he'd kiss me.
"Ab-so-lutly!" Dominic tears in from behind, catapulting himself into the conversation. I have no idea when Emmanuelle left. "He most certainly was a fucking mess, the man couldn't even walk with his own two legs, thank God I was there to save the poor mouse from being squashed!"
"He was only a 'mess' at the start, Dominic." Mike charms in, "His good friends and strong ambitions seemed to clean him up from there."
"Well then it's obvious that I was that single most important friend that accelerated his skill through the roof, by my very presence! I marvel at my own brilliance sometimes"
Elias lets his head fall while he laughs. "I do believe you're missing a few key details there Dominic."
I think back on it. He really was a mess at the start. But more of a nervous mess, one that needed a bit of a foundation and building. Not pranking through electrocution. I doubt Dominic accelerated anything that wasn't his pulse, or his death clock. Elias had seen a lot prior to Rainbow, and the newer, less Chaotic environment got to him, I guess. I led him around for days, and tried to teach him everything I knew about the other operators, and what it meant to be part of Rainbow. Every day I'd see him at the training courses. And every day I watched him break records, until, inevitably, the record broken was my own.
The FBI operators suddenly fly in with a comically large branch, and a bag of large marshmallows. I stand back from it all.
Miles pats Elias on the back, "We need a big man for a big treat. Light em' up." And so he does, flinging the marshmallows over the bonfire, roasting them terribly. From back where I stood, I caught him glancing at me multiple times during his marshy operation. He quickly pulls off the last remaining marshmallow before Alexsandr swallowed the survivors. He drops the tree and Waltz' over to me, handing me the Marshmallow.
I had to use so much of my willpower to prevent tears from falling down from my cheeks, I was not going to break because of a marshmallow. I had gotten the feeling again, of freedom. This time, from knowledge that he also has the willingness to seek these moments with me. I try to study his radiance, but I still don't quite understand it. I eat the marshmallow whole, looking like a squirrel with its cheeks full, and managing a muffled, "Thank you, Elias." Both of us had the biggest grins on our faces.
God, I was happy.
And I don't even like Marshmallows.