Chapter 2

Notes:Hi everybody! So, Alex didn't die (no comment!), but I'm not going to talk too much about him because the story is centered on Merluca. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Meredith were back to work this morning. It was her first day since the terrible announcement of… no she didn't want to think about it anymore. She had thrown herself into work and had returned to her routine almost mechanically as if nothing had changed. Yet, her world had shattered. She had to say goodbye to her best friend, the one who had become "her person" even more than Cristina herself had ever been. She had to say goodbye to him just when everything was spinning out of control between Andrew and her and that she needed him the most. She wanted Alex to be there to talk to him about Andrew. And she wanted Andrew to be by her side to talk to him about Alex.

Although Andrew had told her that he didn't need her anymore, she kept in touch with his sister to hear from him. In the early afternoon, she ran into him getting down the stairs as she was coming back from Carina's service, who had told her about how his therapy was going.

– "Hey!", he greeted her.

– "Hey", she answered him.

– "You... you're back".

– "Yeah. You too".

– "Yeah. Yet, I thought Bailey would have fired me for being so stupid".

Meredith smiled at him and said:

– "Who's to say that he really knows Bailey?".

Andrew laughed slightly but suddenly became serious after their exchange of banalities.

– "How are you doing?", he asked her.

– "I'm good. How about you?".

– "I'm getting better. Much better".

– "I'm happy to hear that".

– "Meredith, I'm sorry for what happened. We need to talk".

Meredith wasn't ready to have a conversation with him. Seeing him again after these few weeks troubled her too much. No, she needed more time; otherwise, she would start crying and would throw herself into his arms.

– "OK, if you want, but not now. I have to go; they're waiting for me at the pit".

She was already walking down the stairs when Andrew said to her:

– "Okay. But if there's anything I can do…".

– "Thank you", she said quickly without stopping to look at him.

She spent the rest of the day between the pit and the OR because there had been a massive pileup on the highway and there wasn't enough room for the victims. She was relieved to learn a little later from Helm that Andrew was running the clinic where the minor injuries were taken care of; thus, she wasn't likely to meet him again. Yet, she couldn't stop thinking about him. He told her he was sorry... it meant he was really getting better. She knew he would never have told her all these harsh words if he had been himself; she knew he didn't mean them.

She didn't mind being called a hypocrite. She was sure Bailey would agree with him because there wasn't a single rule that she hadn't already broken, and she had been doing it since day one. Moreover, didn't she deserved to be reminded that he wasn't the only one who could inherit a genetic disease after having thrown in his face the terrible truth about his behavior which looked like his father's? Besides, she thought about it all the time, especially when the city shut off the water because she had forgotten to pay the bill.

But it hurt her terribly when he told her he didn't need her, and also when he kicked her out of his room while all she wanted was to be able to help him. Even though he wanted to end their relationship, she couldn't bear the thought of him dealing with all this alone. Of course, there was Carina, but she divided her time between Italy and Seattle and would not be able to be there for him whenever he needed her.

Suddenly she felt the urge to speak to him, to take care of him. She absolutely had to see him at the end of her shift. But it ended later than expected, as often happened when you were in the OR, and Andrew had already left. So, she decided to go to his place.

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When he opened the door for her, he was surprised to see her. Apparently, he thought it was his sister. Taking advantage of his astonishment, she told him right off the bat, before he had time to say anything:

– "Andrew, you have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who is sorry".

– "Um... Mer? What…".

She walked past him and continued:

– "I should have talk to you before asking Bailey to take over the case, especially since I knew how attached you were to Suzanne. I should have explained to you why I was worried about you instead of accusing you of being like your father, as if you were in control. I should have known it would be hard for you to take. I should have been there for you, no matter how many times you pushed me away". She caught her breath a moment after this monologue and added: "Andrew, I'm sorry".

Andrew was surprised to hear Meredith apologize when he was the one who had acted like an ass. He had tried to cut her off, but she hadn't let him. When she finally shut up, he replied:

– "Meredith, I don't deserve your apologies! And that is not going to make me feel any less bad for yelling at you in the hallways like that. And that remark on Alzheimer's was unforgivable! I was...".

– "Not yourself", she cut him off.

– "What?".

– "You were not yourself Andrew, and I told you so".

– "Yes, I was like my father. You were right and I am sorry". He ran his hands through his hair before continuing: "Mer, I'm so sorry. I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. I can't even ask you to forgive me because…".

– "Andrew, you don't have to ask because there's nothing that needs to be forgiven. It's like asking me to forgive you for being sick. Everything you said were symptoms of your illness and proof that you weren't well. I don't yet know exactly what this is all about, but I'm glad to see that you have decided to get help and that you're getting better".

– "I see that you have done some research on bipolar disorder. You sound just like my therapist", he said as if he was making fun of himself to try to hide the pain that he felt by talking about his mental illness which terrified him.

She approached him slightly but restrained herself from touching him, as she was about to do so.

– "Andrew!", she said in a sad voice. "I know you are scared, and I also understand that you are upset about what is happening to you, but you are doing the right thing and you are on the right track. I feel bad that I haven't been there for you because of everything that happened with Alex but I promise you that I will be there from now on, even if you don't need me. I'm here Andrew and I'm not going anywhere".

– "Mer, even if you think that I shouldn't blame myself for my unacceptable behavior, you can't tell me that I didn't hurt you. I know I hurt you deeply".

Andrew sighed and plumped himself onto the sofa while Meredith remained motionless. He looked up at her and continued:

– "I cannot promise you that it won't happen again, Mer. Of course, I have just started my treatment and my therapist is very optimistic. She never had a patient diagnosed so early and that is thanks to you and Carina. It's a one in a million kind of thing. But although the diagnosis towards which she is leaning happens to be the most treatable in my case and allows me to continue practicing medicine, I can't promise you that everything will be fine. Meredith…".

He paused and Meredith knew immediately what he was about to say. She shook her head to make him stop talking, but he went on:

– "I don't want, and I can't drag you into this whole mess. We can't be together".

Meredith went to sit next to him and said:

– "It's nice to worry about me but it's far too late for that. I'm in this with you because I care a lot about you. I care too much about you to walk away. I don't want to, and I can't leave you".

– "Mer, I feel lost", he whispered. His voice was shaking slightly with all the emotions that he felt. "You and I, we were not okay before all this and now I'm afraid it's too late for us. Anyway, how can there still be an "us" if I can't even take care of myself first? If I can't take care of you and the kids? You and I just can't happen right now".

She looked at him and smiled, saying:

– "So, I think it's my turn to give you some time".

– "And ... what does that mean?", asked Andrew, looking at her questioningly.

– "That means that it's me who's offering you some time now so that you can figure out what you want. In the meantime, I want you to know that I'm going to be there for you as a friend so that we will be able to cope with it together. Until you're ready for me to be more than a friend. And you can take all the time you need; I'll be there waiting for you".

What she was offering him was both the craziest and the most sensible thing that he had ever heard. Oh my God he needed her so much! And he loved her more than anything in the world. But, at the same time, he knew that he wasn't ready to pick their relationship up where they left off as if nothing had happened. As if nothing had changed. As if he was… the same person. And besides, who was he?

Meredith could easily read his mind. His wonderful and expressive eyes always showed his thoughts and his feelings. She saw that he was tempted by her idea but that he was still hesitant for some noble reasons.

– "Look, I know what you must be thinking: "How many times do I have to dump that woman!".

They both burst out laughing. God, it felt so good to laugh together again. It was a laugh filled with hope and promises!

Meredith took his hands and then squeezed them slightly. She thought that it wasn't the right time to tell him how much she loved him; she might scare him off. Instead, she told him:

– "Do you want me to be your person and be mine?"

– "Yes, I do".

Andrew was as surprised as Meredith by his answer. He let out a big sigh of relief as if he was holding his breath without knowing it and his smile widened.

Meredith smiled back at him, happy. Then she let herself go against his muscular torso. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She finally was where she belonged. And he finally got back that part of him which had been missing for all those weeks without her.

They remained in each other arms for a while, enjoying the happiness of being together, of being so close to each other. They felt a familiar shiver running through their bodies and thought it was wiser to pull apart.

Andrew cleared his throat and asked:

– "Uh... I was about to... prepare a salad. Are you tempted?", he said as he got up – maybe a little too hastily – and walked to the small kitchen.

A bit nervous too, Meredith stood up in turn and answered:

- "Oh! A salad? Um yeah, of course… I love salad... I mean, I love the salad you prepare... uh… can I help?".

By way of answer, he handed her two tomatoes and give her his devastating smile.

That smile! She missed it so much! Meredith sighed. Pretending to be just friends is not going to be that easy!

Notes: I was supposed to write only two chapters and show Merluca's reconciliation, but I don't think that's going to happen before the season finale. So, I'm leaving things unresolved in anticipation of a sequel. If you're interested in it, let me know.

See you soon!