Surprise! I have an update for you guys a little sooner than you all probably expected. I've decided to turn this into a full story. This chapter is named after the song I Get Overwhelmed by Dark Rooms. It's setting up the rest of the story; hope you all enjoy it.
Chapter 2: I Get Overwhelmed
Erin woke up in her old room at Hank Voight's house to the smell of eggs and bacon. She would have really liked to get a nice hotel room somewhere downtown for the two days she was here, but Hank had insisted she stay with him, and not waste the money on an overpriced hotel room. The funny thing about staying in her old room, is that Hank hadn't moved a thing from when she lived here as a teenager. All of her old CDs, yearbooks, and posters were all there. It was like a time capsule. The whole house was.
"Erin! Breakfast is ready!" Hank shouted from downstairs. He did the same thing when she was a teenager trying to sleep in till noon. She really didn't have the option to sleep in that long, her flight back home was in a few hours. The plan was to have a nice breakfast with Hank, and fly home.
"Morning kid," Hank said, after Erin rolled into the kitchen, in a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie.
"Morning," Erin said, taking a sip of the coffee that was waiting for her on the table.
Hank hadn't really talked much to Erin since she had arrived from New York. Erin was out running around the city, reconnecting with the people she came to see. And he knew she needed to do it. It had been a while since she'd been home, and he knew it was hard on her being away from the city that made her.
"So tell me," Hank said, buttering a piece of toast. "How was everyone yesterday?"
"Good, yeah everyone was good," Erin said, briefly. Erin wasn't really home for the entirety of the day. She went to district 21 to say hi to everyone in intelligence and of course Platt, then she went to see Jay, and capped the night off having a drink with Annie, her friend from childhood that she had walked through hell with.
"Burgess and Ruzek are somethin' aren't they?" Hank mumbled under his breath.
"Yeah they are, but if that's what makes 'em happy," Erin shrugged her shoulders, and took a bite of eggs.
"Hmm," Hank grunted, "And Halstead? How is he doin? I heard he's losing his shit being in the apartment all day."
"He's good. He is. He's moping around like a sad puppy because he can't work." Erin said, trying to be as general as she could. Yesterday afternoon was really hard on her heart. She was still in a fog from everything she had felt. And from everything she did. She couldn't believe that she kissed Jay. She was really not looking forward to finding out how that situation was going to play out with her engagement.
"Well, I guess that's good news for me, then," Hank said, taking a bite of his toast, "he'll be ready to work when he gets back."
"Of course he will be. He always was. Jay is good police," finishing up the last of her breakfast.
As they finished up breakfast, Hank began doing the dishes while Erin wiped down the table. Afterwards, Erin went and packed the rest of her things, and carried the luggage down the stairs. She went to find Hank, who sitting on the couch, swearing at the reporters on the news.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was Austin, her fiancé. "Hello," she said.
"Hey babe," he said, "How's everything?"
"Good, just with Hank, my flight leaves in three hours, so I'll be heading to Midway soon," Erin said.
"Well, I'll be waiting for you when you get home. I worked a double shift in the ER yesterday, so I'll be home early. Love you. Send Hank my best."
Erin hesitated, for a second longer than she would, but not long enough for him to notice. "Love you too. Bye."
"Austin says hi," Erin said to Hank, sitting on the recliner next to him.
"Next time you come by, you bring him with. I don't want to always have to be flying to New York to see him, and get know him better."
"Hank it's been two years. You know him. And his job is crazy, Hank. It's not easy for him to pick up and fly across the country for the weekend."
"But it's easy for me, right?" Hank snapped, sarcastically.
Erin chuckled. "But actually, Erin, before I take you to the airport, I need to talk to you about something. It's serious."
"Are you okay, Hank?" Erin was concerned, she sat up a little straighter in her chair.
"I'm fine. It's not about me. It's about your mom. " Hank paused, and looked at Erin for a reaction.
Erin gave him an eyeroll. "If she's in jail again—"
"No, Erin, it's not like that. Your mother has cancer. Stage four pancreatic….the doctors are giving her less than six months."
Erin felt like the air was being sucked out of the room. "How long have you known?"
"I found out this week. She said she was trying to call you…I don't know what number she has of yours, but she couldn't get through. She was telling me she wants to see you and spend some time with you and Teddy. I told her I would let you know what's going on."
Erin just nodded, thinking about her entire childhood. Every painful memory, from stealing food to feed her and Teddy, to trying to save her mom from overdosing by putting her in a tub of ice, to going to school covered in her mother's hangover vomit. Everything she had put her through before she left Chicago. Even after all of the pain and the abuse she went through, she couldn't understand why she felt sorry for her.
"Uh…" Erin just shook her head, and looked up at the ceiling to avoid looking at Hank . "Just…give me her number, and I'll call her when I can."
Hank wasn't really surprised by this response. Erin hadn't really had a lot of contact with Bunny, which was for the best. He never wanted her to get sucked down that rabbit hole again, no pun intended. "Listen, Erin, I had to tell you, because at the end of the day, even though she doesn't deserve the right, Bunny is your mother. I just want you to take the information and do what's best for you."
Erin had a lot of time on the plane ride to think. It fascinated her how the second she set foot in Chicago, she ended up back in places that she thought she had moved on from. She ended up in her ex-boyfriend's apartment, and upon looking into his blue green eyes, falling back to the messy place they always found themselves. To this moment, she didn't understand why she kissed Jay. She probably never would understand it. Her mother had ended up weaseling her way back into her head and her heart, this time not because she had sobered up and wanted another superficial relationship, but because she was dying.Her feelings were all over the place; sadness, pain, anger, guilt, resentment. There isn't really a guide book on how to deal with your drug addicted, abusive mother who is now dying of cancer.
Her thoughts continued to consume her, as she climbed the forty stories to her apartment that she now called home. About six months ago, Erin's lease was up at her place, and her and Austin decided together to that it would be nice if she moved in with him. After all, after they had gotten engaged, Erin was spending more time there than she was at her own place. It took some time to adjust to the spontaneity of Austin's hospital rotations as a trauma surgeon, and Erin's late night police work, but soon enough, they operated like a team.
She opened the door of the apartment, and found her fiancé setting the table for dinner. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. His wavy brown hair was messy on his head, his facial hair the length that she loved most. He gave her a crooked smile, the same one that one her over the night they met at a random bar in the middle of downtown New York City. She walked right into his arms, and he held her tightly and then pecked her on the lips.
"Welcome back," he whispered in her ear.
"Thanks," she slipped from his embrace, and he pecked her again softly on her lips. She was tense, like something was on her mind.
He lifted her face gently, so she could make eye contact with him. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," she fidgeted with her engagement ring on her left hand, "Just hungry, and have a massive headache. There was a crying baby on the flight."
"Oh, hell," Austin said, pulling out a chair at the table for her to sit, "nothing a little pizza and wine couldn't fix. And if that doesn't work, we'll go plan B. Massage."
Erin let out a breathy laugh, and took a sip from her wine glass. Austin sat in the seat across from her. "Now tell me about your trip," he said biting into a piece of pizza.
"It was good. Good to see everyone," Erin said briefly.
"How's your ex partner? Healing up okay?" Austin asked. He knew Erin and Jay had a history, but he never pushed Erin too much on revealing any details. He didn't want to open up closed wounds that she had moved on from. The thing with Erin was, anything to do with Chicago was a touchy subject for her.
"He's good. He's up and about in the apartment. I think he'll be getting cleared by the doctor within the next couple of weeks, and he'll go back to work. He'll be on desk duty, I'm sure, but it's better than being cooped up the way he is."
"He got really lucky. What Hank described to me when he called. Life and death for him was probably," Austin made a measurement with his finger about the size of a bottle cap. "What else?"
"Why are you asking so many questions?" Erin asked half jokingly, half seriously.
"What? It's the first time you went back to your hometown in what… three years? I think I'm allowed to be a little curious about how it felt." Austin shrugged his shoulders.
"Not any different than how it would feel for you to go back to New Hampshire." Erin snapped back aggressively.
"Woah, okay," He held his hands up in there. "I won't push anymore. Sorry."
"No, babe, I'm sorry…I" Erin huffed a breath. "I've been a little tense today…this weekend was a mess. Just seeing Jay was so weird. And…I don't know." Austin furrowed his brow, looking like he wanted to ask questions. Erin quickly deflected, "Before I left, Hank told me my mom has stage four cancer and that she's been looking for me because she's dying and it was just…" Erin huffed another breath.
Austin stood from his seat across from Erin, and took the seat next to her, pulling the chair close to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. She wasn't crying, she just sat there with an empty look on her face. "What do you do when you find out your mother that was never a mother to you is dying?"
"I don't know, but we'll figure it out. Together" He pecked her on the cheek, and held her close, thinking about everything his girl had just said in the last two minutes.
So...what do we think? A review or two would be nice...