Thanks for the comments on the last chapter guys. I have nothing against Jamie Lannister I just wrote a more young Jamie who I do not think has had the time to really consider and in cannons case regret his actions. He is still the Jamie who sat down on the Iron throne instead of going to make sure Elia and her children were ok in the first place. Of course that's all just my opinions. If you don't like the portrayal I totally get it. If anything this all has made me really want to write a story about Jamie! Anywho after that rant I would like to thank you for reading and please let me know what you think of this chapter!
Chapter 2: Rules
"Everything is going to be well." I promised the children, I had no idea if everything was going to be well, but I loved them so much I had to lie. I clutched Aegon in my arms he wasn't moving fast enough for the guards and they had chosen to push him to move him along. My son was not yet two and instead of moving faster he had fallen. I scrambled to grab him before they could though it only slowed us down and they were pushing us to move faster then our feet could carry us.
"Where are we going!" Rhaenys asked with ragged breath trying to keep up and tired eyes we were dragged out of our beds in the middle of the night, we had not left the small guarded room since Robert became king for fear people would see the last of the true royal family in kingslanding. Now we had to be moved at night unnoticed.
"To the north, we are going to stay with the Starks." I told my daughter softly in truth I had been relieved when they told me they were giving me away to the lord of Winterfell so my children and I could be forgotten in the north. It was very preferable to living in Roberts cage being taunted by his horrible new queen and the ever-present axe hanging over my children's heads, the fear every time the door shook open that this was the time, they were coming for them. It was threatened enough, I felt a true since of dread anytime the door opened and someone barged in.
"Are they nice." Rhaenys asked as we were pushed down a back stairway, I was careful to hold my daughters' hand with my free one.
"The Starks are known for their honor; they will be good to us." I promised her, I was telling myself the same, it had to be better then being Roberts prisoner or Aery's for that matter. Father had once mentioned Rickard Stark being a man of great honor in the war of the nine penny kings. But that was the Stark man Aerys had killed in the throne room. When we arrived from Dragonstone his scorch mark still laid on the floor. This was a different Stark his son.
When Jon Arryn first came to me speaking of Brandon Stark, I knew the name immediately. Ashara said he was handsome, so much so that she could have swooned when he walked up to her at Harrenhall and that she had been disappointed he only asked her to dance with his shy brother, or at least she was at first.
"Outside?" Aegon asked his little head laid on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my neck. My poor son was cursed with perfect Targaryen looks. Silver hair, pale skin, big purple eyes and high cheekbones. I wondered if cutting off his beautiful silver locks would make his life easier, though it was not truly an option with no scissors of any kind.
"Yes, we are going outside." I told him he probably could not recall ever being outside. He came here when he was little more then a newborn and we had been hostages since.
The Hand of the king was waiting for us at the base of the steps he looked woeful he had repeatedly given me his sincerest apologize but concluded it was the way of the world. He clutched a blanket as they moved our things few things. Everything of value was taken, we were no longer royals we were told as they took my ruby Tiara Rhaella Targaryen placed on my head at my wedding, anything with a dragon incrusted on it which seemed to be most of our possessions, the blanket my son was wrapped in when he was born because it had a crown embroider on it, my daughters doll that once belonged to Rhaena Targaryen had white hair and purple painted eyes and a red dress and Robert threw it into the fire Infront of her. It was not just everything Targaryen any jewels I had brought with me from Dorne were taken. The bracelets my mother wore to here wedding, the ring my grandmother gave me, earrings from Ashara anything I had worth taking was gone. Thing I would have happily sold to get my children to Essos.
"Cover the boy with this." Jon said handing the blanket to a guard who tossed it at me. I carefully wrapped it around him to cover his silver hair. Apparently, it was fine to treat women and children this way as long as no one knew it was Rhaegar Targaryens children.
"Have you to bring those things?" A guard asked as the colorful birds in the cages squawked.
"They are the only joy the children have." I said simply. Rhaenys had a kitten she loved; it had been a third nameday gift young prince Viserys had picked out special for his little niece. He had always been a darling boy. Cersei Lannister had picked it up once when she came to gloat at me. She came to the capital to marry the king and wanted to let me know that. Even though she was being horrible she was a young girl and picked up the adorable little kitten when she saw it. That black kitten peed all over the future queen and Rhaenys being the child she was laughed; Cersei showed her cruelty by having it killed right there in our room. I was glad to be leaving sure she would have my children killed with just as little regret and remorse.
"Then I insist you take them." Jon Arryn said simply with a smile as though he did us a great favor.
"Yes, thank you." I Said simply as we followed the guards to the carriage. Aegon looked up at the night sky astounded. Rhaenys breathed deeply. "It smells like rain Egg!" Rhaenys told him gleefully.
"Wain!" Aegon said trying to breath in like his sister and it brought a smile to my lips.
"I know his brother better, but Brandon Stark is a fine man, of impeccable honor, and tall." Jon Arryn tried his best to sell him as he walked. I hoped we could be friends but with my children leaving the red keep finally alive and well and trying to smell rain I had all I need. No Jewels or man could rival my children's safety.
"We have new orders from the king." Jamie Lannister said coming toward us, his eyes were dark. I did not know him well, but Arthur once told me that to bare working for the mad king when the boy did horrible things in his king's name, he had to 'go away' and be this emotionless weapon. Whenever Aerys would ask a horrible task of him his green eyes seemed dark as they did now.
"I thought ser Selmy was to take the princess?" Jon Arryn said.
"Change of plans!" Jamie repeated louder and slower he bolstered a lot of attitude and ego but I was sure it was a way of coping. He handed a piece of parchment to Jon Arryn before looking at me and in those dark green eyes I saw the pain seep through for just a moment.
Jon Arryn looked up in horror. "No, no this cannot be!"
"Lord Arryn?" I asked but he ignored me looking at Jamie in disbelief.
"The kings order."
"This is unthinkable!"
"Lord Arryn we are going to get in the carriage now it's dark and the children are tired." I said scrambling as if we would be safe in the carriage. We would not be safe anywhere. I turned toward the carriage seeing the men Jamie Lannister brought blocking it.
"You will not all be going princess." Jon Arryn said mournfully.
I looked back at him in utter terror, he had already accepted this fate for us no matter how horrible he admitted it to be.
Jamie nodded as a man I knew to be Ser Loche came towards us before I could get out asking what was going on my baby was ripped from my arms.
"MOMMA!" Aegon screamed I went forward after him pulling my daughter along. Jamie grabbed me he was trying to calm me with apologize as he held me back. The well-behaved girl I had always been that survived Rhaegar, Aerys, and Robert finally shattered.
I kicked and hit at him to let me go.
"Please salvage your dignity before you hurt yourself-"He started but it ended in a howl as I bit him hard on the neck and in pain and shock he left me go. "SHE BITE ME!" He yelped before cursing. I had not realized it until he said so, I hadn't really cared I was already running forward after my baby who wailed for me. His eyes filled with hope as I came for him. I was his mother I was supposed to protect him, and with no father or alies I was the only one who would protect him, Aegon reached over the bad mans shoulder to me and I reached to grab him just as guards seized me pulling me towards the carriage as I screamed. "He's just a baby! " I yelled but these were godless men. "AEGON!" I screamed as Aegon was carried into the castle and out of my sight. I was thrown into the carriage with Rhaenys.
I woke up in a cold sweat that made me shiver. I dreamed my nightmare once more, my life now. I looked over at my daughter next to me. She was sound asleep under the fur blanket. I had to have passed out from exhaustion while watching my daughter sleep again. It seemed the only way I got any sleep. I wondered if Aegon was warm enough in Meagors holdfast. If he was scared.
I had never been a fighter, even as a girl I did not enjoy fighting with words or otherwise. Now I had to fight every day to keep my children alive it seemed. I had to fight. First with words; Aery's and his madness from not burning us to death after his son died, then Robert and Jon Arryn to convince them to not slaughter my children. Always eloquently as a princess should but when they ripped my son from my arms it was as though I was a beast screaming clawing biting to get my young back. Loosing Aegon was like losing a part of me. All I did was ache for my baby. All I wanted to do was crumble but even in the north there was this terrible Brandon Stark to fight, who seemed as though he wanted to fight.
No more I told myself I was done with how these people were making me feel. Robert, his horrible wife, Jamie Lannister, and now Brandon Stark. When I was a girl my mother would say my flower came with no thorns and that was the best of me. I would not act out of fear anymore I would not let them take the best of me away anymore. Because more then anything no one would give me my son back for stomping my foot. I would have to out wit and will my enemies with a polite smile on my face.
I got up letting my feet hit the cold wood floor. As much as I wanted to hide away and cry I would not. I had to try and help Aegon and I could not do that locked away. I could not do that without allies.
I watched Rhaenys I had to make the world better for her. "Wake up my love." I told her moving her lightly. "We have much to do today." I told her.
Rhaenys could be stubborn but tired as she was, she was docile and let me dress her. I put her in a purple dress, I was careful to keep her out of Targaryen colors which would mean I desperately needed to make more clothes for her. I brushed out her hair as I did every morning.
A knock knock on the door startled me. Out of instinct I pulled my daughter close. I was not used to knocking I was used to people galivanting as they pleased into the tiny chambers my children and I had been placed in with guards at the door night and day. The young queen would never fill Rhaella's shoes. Rhaella who was good and dutiful despite her woes. This Cersei Lannister would come to torment me when she had nothing better to do. She was preferable to Robert though who would come at all hours of the night drunk and yelling about how he should kill my children. I think the manner Brandon came in had much to do with my rage.
"Who is it?" I asked softly.
"I am Alys, Gara, and Brina are with me, we were told to come help you m'lady." She the girl said nervously.
"Please come in." I told her the girls all scattered in the eldest could be no more then 17 the others were younger I'd guess near 15 and 12.
"Maester says we are to help you." Alys the older girl says the other to were behind her watching me. Brandon was rude upon my arrival, but I was barely any better I was angry and scared and acted as such.
"That is very kind of you thank you." I told them and the youngest girl started to creep out.
"We are not handmaidens princess, but we do are best." Alys promised and I smiled.
"I've never met a princess before." The youngest said softly.
I smiled. "Now you met two." I told her playing with my daughters' hair.
"Enough Brina go help Gara, make the bed." Alys as the eldest reprimanded as she poured a water basin.
"May I help you with your dress princess?" Alys asked.
"Would you draw me a bath?" I asked they looked at each other odd, I bathed the night before as well. I was told it was unusual even for high borns to bath more then thrice a moon in the north. In Dorne we bathed every day.
"It's best to bath at night Princess so you don't catch cold during the day." Alys advised.
"Very well. Then would you please help me with my dress?" I asked and they were giddy to do so. Alys and Brina helped me into an old red dress of mine, probably the warmest I had not saying much as it was still silk with a high slit up the side. Sometimes I was sure I was sent here to freeze to death.
"How long do we have to stay here mama." My little girl asked with a yawn. I couldn't bare to tell her forever. All she did was be born on the wrong side of this war; all I did wrong was doing as I was told. marrying the brooding prince giving him to beautiful children a boy and a girl and I was being punished for it.
The girls pretend not to hear. Alys helped me with my shoes and Gara my hair. Soon I had them smiling and laughing as young girls ought to do. It seemed easy enough for them to get use to use even though we were foreign, it seemed to only matter that we were nice. I prayed everyone else was as easy to get along with.
"Come on sweetheart, maybe we will see some northern birds?" I told her making her smile she took my hand as we walked around Winterfell, it was warmer in the old castle then I had imagined. What would they think of us southerners if they knew how we imagined their castles filled with icicles?
"Why are there so many stairs." Rhaenys asked like only little girls could.
I smiled at her as we descended down the stairs below the rookery.
"But they are so old!" She exclaimed.
"Best not say that little one." I told her as I knocked on the chamber door.
"Come in!" Two different voices rang.
Firmly holding Rhaenys hand I walked in. The old maestor laid in his coat rasping for breath, the young maestor sat writing at the desk.
"Ah princess Elia, a lovely surprise." He said. "I am afraid we were not introduced when you arrived, I am maestor Luwin and over there is Maestor Walys." He said with a kind smile.
"I must apologize for my behavior upon arrival." I told him.
"No princess that fault does not lie with you," He sighed. "You're a young woman in a new scary place who was separated from her child, he could have used one of the three manors he remembers." I had to stop myself from laughing I had thought myself Brandon Starks biggest critic, but I saw now I had competition.
"You do not like him?" I surmised by his words and the way he looked at his young lord. Luwin looked up from his writing.
"I do not like wasted potential, and Lord Stark has it, he could be the greatest lord in Westeroes if he elects to do so, he has it in him. " Maestor Luwin said.
"Do you think Lord Stark would write to Jon Arryn for me?" I asked he was the Maestor who better to know their lord.
"Not if I asked him, he loathes me. You would have better luck asking yourself princess." Luwin told me.
"He loathes me more." I assured.
"When will we get baby brother back!" Rhaenys asked.
"I do not know my love, but we will." I told her softly before looking at Luwin there was no reason to hide my motive I would shout it from the top of Winterfell if there was a slight chance it would help. "I mean to get my son back maestor Luwin, I came here to see if you would help me?" I asked him.
"Any way I am able princess." He promised.
"Thank you." I told him touching his hand. "We won't keep you." I promised taking my daughter and turning to leave.
"Princess, there is to be the matter of running Winterfell. I do what I can, but it is not my place to make decisions and Lord Stark shys away from duty however, I received a glowing raven from maester Elswth from Dragonstone. He asked I looked out for you and spoke so highly of your many fine qualities including the fact that you kept the books of Dragonstone."
"Math was so dull to Rhaegar he preferred his scrolls to numbers." I said so softly as if afraid he would rise from the dead at my mention of his name. No, I never had any sort of power over Rhaegar when he was alive, I would not gain it in death. Rhaenys looked up at me she must have recognized the name, but she did not shout for papa like she use to. The big dark purple eyes stared up at me, she was a perfect child just like her brother. I could understand Rhaegar leaving me I was told repeatedly that it was my own failings that sent him away. But he abandoned them to, his wonderful little daughter and newborn son. He left as though they were nothing and I could not forgive him for that. I never did.
"You ran Dragonstone while….he was away?" Luwin asked not wanting to say his name either for Rhaenys sake or because of what he had done to the very people who lived in this castle. Or at least what they believed he had done.
"Yes." In truth I always handled the day to day tasks of managing Dragonstone the little things not worthy of my husband's time. "I was taught how to run and rule a castle when I was a child." I said watching his confused look. "In Dorne though I have a younger brother I was the spare, I had to learn the same things Doran had before me." I explained he nodded as though it now made so much sense.
"Then you would not mind if I brought you the books this afternoon?"
"Not at all." I promised.
"Good, I was also supposed to tell you. Although Jon Arryn specified you and your daughter should stay inside, Lord Stark has confirmed that would be impossible as you are to marry in the Godswood and he argued that you should be able to go anywhere inside the walls of Winterfell and the Lord hand conceded." The maestor said he looked up at me to see if I followed. Lord Arryn would not listen to me but apparently Brandon's words had much more power to them.
"Thank you." I said softly and he nodded.
"We will not keep you." I told him.
"You could be good for each other, in one old withering mans opinion." I heard and turned to see the old maestor smiling before he started coughing. His apprentice dutifully went to care for him.
"Best to take the girl from here." Luwin advised I nodded doing just that.
We walked around exploring for awhile it was larger than the red keep by far it did not seem as windy. We looked out the windows watching the snow fall. We much have been an odd sight staring at the snow when everyone else was used to it going about morning tasks.
I took my daughter to the great hall to break her fast it only took me two tries to find it.
Young Benjen sat alone at the high table eating his breakfast, his eyes were a deeper blue then his brother's grey eyes, and there was something truly happy in them.
I lead my daughter to the high table.
"Good morning-do I call you princess or my lady?" Benjen asked thoughtfully. His brothers were rebels and that made him a rebel through and through he did not want to even by accident concede to the Targaryens.
"I was a princess long before I married." I reminded and he nodded. It was funny to me how none of them seemed aware of Dorne, of the seven kingdoms we were closed off more then most, although we had thought the same of the north.
"Then my apologize princess."
"It's quite alright, how are you this morning lord Benjen?" I asked he smiled at being called lord. I assumed formalities were not used much in Winterfell.
"Alright, I have to go to my lessons, Rodrick says im not as good as brandon was when he was my age. I'm not even as good as Eddard was at my age." He pouted.
"I am not a weapons expert by any means, but I know you should not compare yourself to your brothers." I said a woman came and gave my daughter a bowl of porridge I waved my own away I could not bare to eat I felt as though I would be ill from missing Aegon, being separated from my baby caused a pain in me I had never known. I thought Rhaegar had hurt me but that was nothing like this.
"How do you know?" He asked his head tilted in curiosity.
"I have to brothers and they are as different as the moon and the sun,"
"Really?"
"Really but just because they are different doesn't mean they do not have their place."
"I want to be just like my brothers they are heroes!" Benjen confessed. "Brandon is fearless, he is strong and brave, Eddard is so honorable, he said he would bring back justice for father and he did." Benjen told him.
I smiled at his obvious love of his brothers.
"They are great men." Benjen proclaimed.
"I think you will be too." I told him he seemed to be a good boy.
"Really?" He asked excitedly.
"Yes really, but I want you to be your own man do you think you can do that?"
"I'll try."
"Good boy. Do you know where your brother is?"
"Brandon is out ridding." Benjen said simply in between bits of bacon.
"In the snow?" I asked surely that was dangerous.
"He likes to ride in the snow, Brandon is a great horse rider." Benjen tells me he looks me over before smiling." Would you like me to tell you more about him, since you are going to marry him?"
"Please." I said simply not wanting to disappoint the sweet boy, I thought I knew all there was to know about Brandon stark.
"Well he loves to ride, he is by far the best swordsmen in our family, Brandon always knows what the right thing to do is, he remembers mother the best, he really misses her, Brandon likes to tease us but he would never let anyone besides himself mess with me, or ned and Ly…" The boy stopped he batted his blue eyes trying to keep the tears from falling.
I took the napkin from the table wiping his face. "You must really miss your sister and father."
"I do." He admits as he sniffles a bit.
"You are being very brave." I promise him.
"Like a knight?" Benjen asked perking up a little bit.
"Exactly like a knight." I promised. Looking to my daughter who was done now just playing with her food. I cleaned her off with another napkin. "Benjen could you tell me where the library is?"
"It's right across the yard." Benjen assures.
The idea intrigued me we came a very long way here through corridors and narrow passageways, but we had not been outside since we arrived. Apart of me longed for the light of day but another wondered if there would be any true light at all.
We went to the big wooden doors the guards skeptically opened them for us as we made our way to the library. Wind whipped through my hair and my daughter wind. It howled and hurt as it hit you. It was a sharp pain like how I felt without my son I pulled Rhaenys closer shaking myself as we hurried that way. Soon the pain made me feel numb all over like Rhaegar did. We were almost there when Brandon Stark. "What are you doing out here?" He demanded.
"we are going to the library." I told him to my surprise he took off his cloak wrapping it around me and picked up my daughter Rhaenys usually would whine but instead she happily wrapped her arms around his neck cuddling into him like her was warm. His fur was incredibly warm, and I found myself pulling on it to wrap it tighter around me.
He looked me up in down with his usual cold look. "Follow me." He said charging off as much as I wanted to just go to the peace of the library alone I did as bid already playing the obedient wife again as if it was yesterday I was Rhaegar's obedient wife who was true and loved him and never got much in return.
Brandon took us back to the great keep turned into what seemed to be the lord of Winterfell's study. It was a large chamber with a giant roaring fire near a huge almost black dark wood desk. The large chair was its opposite white wood with a scowling wolf carved into it.
A small old woman followed us in. "My lord you sent for me?" She asked.
"Take princess Rhaenys, perhaps dress her properly." He said annoyed as he set Rhaenys down. Out of instinct I pulled her behind me ignoring how close I was to him.
"Nothing to fear, Nan will take good care of her. I know nothing better than babies! You'll have her back in no time at all princess!" She promised and she was so giddy to care for a child I consented kissing my daughters head.
"I will see you soon." I promised.
She was skeptical at first but then went with the old woman asking her is she liked cats. I looked back at Lord Stark who must have intended to speak with me if he already summoned the old women to take my daughter, but why.
He put his hand out and though I wanted to keep it I gave up his fur giving it back to him. For his part he threw it onto the chair. Brandon sat in the white chair and gestured for me to do the same with an annoyed sigh. I chose to sit by the fire and warm.
"You cannot dress the child properly? I am to be blamed for her freezing to death?" He said in that smirky arrogant tone. I looked him over, he had a handsome chiseled face even with the scars across it, his hair was a tangly, dirty mess. At least his beard was well trimmed though I was unsure how I felt about it we did not have them much in Dorne due to the heat.
"She does not have winter clothes; I was hoping to talk to you about that." I had thought Dragonstone was unbearably cold and now I knew what true bitter coldness felt like.
"By all means get the child proper clothes." He said looking through papers on the desk one seemed to annoy him he ripped it up before hitting his desk. I took a deep breath I had to stop seeing him as the enemy.
"That's very kind." I told him.
"It's practical." He growled back never looking up at me.
I heard my mother's voice telling me you could never have a second chance at a first impression, but I had to ignore her now.
"I would like to apologize for how I behaved yesterday, I was upset-"
"Don't, I won't apologize, and I don't expect one in return."
"I want to move forward from that unpleasantness." I tried but stubbornness seemed to be his nature.
"Why?" He asked his grey eyes feel on me, they were cold like ice, but it was more then that, I felt an eeriness as though I was being watched by a animal waiting for the slightest mistake to go for the kill.
I leaned forward trying not to seem as uncomfortable as I was. "We are going to be married. Would it not be nice if we were friends?" I asked watching the merriment and mockery enter his eyes. I suppose I should have not expected more. Rhaegar and I were not friends, he was congenial to me, but it was all formalities.
"I think I liked you better last night when you were meeting me blow for blow. Instead of this thing that you are not, this happy person going around trying to make everyone like you." He said gruffly.
"Are you angry people like me?" I asked confused.
"They like who your pretending to be." He assured but I wondered who he meant.
"This is who I have always been!" I promised trying not to let him goad me into another fight.
"It's who you were mayhaps, now your different and angry all the time but for some unknown reason you have decided to play pretend, at least have the courage to not hid from the pain." He scoffed as if I was so horrible for being kind.
"What happened-" I started thinking long and hard about what happened to me how my life went wrong with a crown of roses. How I went from the prisoner of one king to another without thought and how nobody seemed to care about the horrors my children faced because they were dragons which was now the worst thing a person could be now.
"Weeping will not solve my problems."
"I doubt anyone can solve your problems princess." He scoffed with a smirk.
I stood up; this was not his being rude anymore this was him being terrible. "You won't even try?" I asked breathlessly, I had planned to wait to ask until I could get him in a gentler mood but his uncaring attitude towards my baby being taken from me made me act on impulse.
Oddly his eyes suddenly seemed so hurt, so filled with pain he had to look away from me.
"Why rally a worthless cause?" He growled.
I tried to be a lady all my life, I was good at it and for the most I had enjoyed it. I always thought my mother would be proud. Through everything Rhaegar put me through I remained as dignified as I could, somehow Brandon Stark stirred in me a rage I could not shake.
"My son's life is not a worthless cause! I do not care if it kills me, I will do everything in my power to save him because I love him and without my children there is not a point to anything for me-!"
"Princess-" He interrupted and I was so tired of him interrupting me.
" I thought you might understand that kind of love after what you did for your sister you went to the red keep and stupidly challenged the crown prince though as idiotic as it was it was brave and done out of love but now it seems every bit of goodness in you is gone." I told him our eyes never faltering from each other's gaze.
He was angry now I watched it flash in his eyes. To my surprise he kept his voice calm. "Are you quite done?"
I had not realized until he said something, but I was not. I walked forward towards him. "Are you truly so heartless you wish a baby ill! Because I assure you"
"We misunderstand each other." He said as though it were simple.
"I thought it was a misunderstanding, but you were rude today as well!" I told him as the tears streamed down my face upsetting me more the last thing, I wanted was to cry in front of him again.
"No that you understand. When I said why rally for a worthless cause it was because I thought you were speaking of our impending marriage as the problem you wished to solve." He told me my hand clasped over my mouth.
"Funny I had the same urge moments ago." He muttered as he stood up and walked around the desk with my rage leaving me, I no longer felt so very confident and there was something very frightening about him stalking over to me with those animal-like eyes of his. He moved past me over to a pitcher pouring the contains into a goblet.
"I am so sorr-" I started.
"I told you not to apologize to me." Brandon reminded before pouring a second glass.
"I did not mean to-"
"Do you always apologize when you have done nothing wrong?" He asked coming back over offering me a goblet.
"Thank you." I said politely which seemed to add to his annoyance.
"Most people are not as offended by manners as you are." I said softly taking the goblet he pulled the closest chair to sit across from me while I warmed by the fire.
"Because an obsession with manners leads to girls like you." Lord Stark said. I tried not to be offended by that, but I was unsure how not to be.
"I do not understand what I have done to displease you so I am sor-"I started he pointed to me.
"Sorry? That's what you have been taught with all your fancy manners to always be sorry especially when it's not your fault." He said and I moved my hair out of my face nervously wondering if there was truth in his words. Instead I took a drink from the goblet and forced my self not to spit out the heavy liquid he chuckled as I choked down the strong mixture trying not to cough afterwards.
"Never drank Ale before?" He jeered.
"No, I have not…it's interesting." I told him.
"I suppose we should get on with it, once we have discussed the rules of our marriage so we can try to get back to the rest of what's left of our broken lives." He said drinking from his glass.
"Martial rules are unspoken ones." I said repeating words I was once told without realizing it.
"Well let's speak them it will be easier to hear that way." He said simply.
"Here is what I do not want. You trying to change me in anyway to be a southern lord, you trying to change Winterfell in anyway. You will not scheme openly or otherwise. I do not think we need to pretend this is anything other then something forced upon us, no fake sincerity or apologies, or formalities. I do not want to be constantly pestered, in fact I do not see the reason for us to spend every day together Winterfell is plenty big enough for the both of us to exist separately." He said bluntly.
"That's what you want?" I asked.
"Yes, what do you want?"
"My son." I said quickly only taking a moment to process that he was actually asking what I wanted.
"Try to ask for something more attainable." He said coldly.
"You want me to ask for what? Pretty dresses while my son is the prisoner of a mad man?" I asked.
"No, I was the prisoner of a mad man your son is in Meagor's holdfast with an entire staff of women catering to him while young Robert whores." Brandon remarked.
"No, there is something cruel in Robert when it comes to Targaryens."
"Can you blame him?"
"For shouting and taunting my babies, I can."
"Ask to write your son then?" Brandon said.
"He cannot read."
"Obviously someone would have to read it for him."
"Nobody would." I told him and he did not argue that point. "Am I not to write letters? I was hoping to correspond with a friend of mine." I told him carefully, I sipped the vulgar drink to appear calmer but I needed to get word to my brothers, I was not going to outwrite ask for them.
"Not without my express permission according to the powers that be." Brandon said.
"Would you give me permission?" I asked even as a child I was allowed to send letters without anyone's authorization. I always enjoyed writing as a girl I practiced writing my uncle Lewyn in Kingslanding, he was a legendary knight of the kingsguard and he still always made time to write his niece, he was a good man who died in Rhaegars war.
I watched his grey eyes think it over.
"If you have something you need to send bring it to me and I will decide." He said simply. "Now, enough outer things, drink the rest of that and tell me what you would ask of me." He said slowly I thought of thousands of things, less abrasive, less stubborn or argumentative and then I realized what I wanted. I wanted to ask him to be kinder, but I pushed the thought away quickly not wanting to here his snark about such a request.
"I would like it if you could be kind to my daughter."
"How about I just stay away from her."
"Fine, I would like you to support me getting my son back should Jon Arryn or any other man ask you your opinion."
"Fine." Brandon said raising his glass. "To the happy couple!" He said finishing his and thankfully taking mine and drinking that to.
"Cheers." I said and was surprised to see him smile, not in malice but in enjoyment.
"Lord Arryn wrote that you were witty."
"He did? I am surprised." I admitted I did not think Jon Arryn liked to dwell on my children and I. To sad for him I supposed. I looked over Brandon the only thing Jon had been correct about was him being tall, he was very tall.
"You have to tell me, did that old man ask you to marry him?" He jeered.
"That is not what he asked me, he was married during the war to Lysa Tully, did you not hear." I asked ignoring the ache of my head.
"I suppose I should have read the letter Catlyen sent me." He said with a uncaring shrug.
"You did not read your betrotheds letter?" I asked not believing even he to be that malice.
"She was not my betrothed anymore, she married my brother, for the alliance, to win the war, for the greater glory of her house, which is fine but to be honest I was uninterested in the details." Brandon said lowly. His words seemed painful and I sympathized for him.
There was an uncomfortable silence before Brandon's smile returned. "Did he ask you to be his whore?" He asked as a cruel jab, mayphaps it made him feel better about his own pain.
"If he asked me to be his paramour, I would not be here lord stark." I told him with a sweet smile he laughed in return.
"You like old men then?" He asked deviously.
"No, I like the idea of being in the vale, in an impregnable fortress with my children, an old man visiting very rarely with his attentions is hardly a terrible price to pay." I told him
"His attentions try his old saggy-" Brandon started with a wild smile.
I cringed. "Stop stop!" I told him but I couldn't help smiling, this was this most painless time I had ever had with Brandon even if it was gross.
"That would have been apart of it princess." Brandon teased. "You would have to see that old man in all his ancient glory."
"I would have to see the canopy in the lords chamber or the inside of my eyelids, a few uncomfortable moments for safety is a visible price to pay." I told him smiling at are teasing but he was no longer smiling.
"So, you would rather let an old man paw you then have to live in Winterfell with me." He said and I sighed everything seemed so well and now it was bad again. I wiped the sweat from my neck my head pounded.
"Lord Stark please, I do not want to fight." I told him tiredly.
"Well I do, come now you can say more horrible things about me, you have a gift for it." He jeered
I stood up I felt a little to hot sitting by the fire. He got up to first in anger but something in him changed. I could hardly focus on it, I got up to quickly and my head was spinning my stomach felt turned.
"ELIA!" He roared before everything went dark.
The next thought I had was that my mouth was dry and that my eyelids were to heavy to open. I was to comfortable to be concerned about opening my eyes for the first time in a great while I felt warm and content my toes gently moved across soft bedding while my arms held onto a bundle of furs.
"So, you thought it best to give a frail woman who has not been eating ale and then try and fight with her?" Luwin's unamused voice asked.
"I did not know she wasn't eating!" Brandon's rough northern voice barked it was closer than I thought.
"Then you have seen her eat?" A young voice said softly.
"Benjen I told you to stay out of here incase it's catching." Brandons voice growled.
"As I have said my lord, she is a fragile woman that needs to eat and rest, preferably without ale or yelling. She is not contagious." Luwin said simply. "I need to go check on Maestor Walys, please excuse me."
I just remember wanting them to all go away but instead of yelling I snuggled deeper into the warmth of the furs deciding there was something to be said for the northerner's hard beds, something about it was comforting.
"Go on Ben! I don't care what that harpy says I won't risk you." Brandon said firmly.
"If she was actually deadly ill you would not be so close to her, or let you touch her." He said and a great panic arose in me. The warm hard thing under the fur was Brandon Stark, I wanted to yank away but I did not want to open my eyes to hear his japes. Instead I froze in my tracks.
"I told you, I put her on the bed, she shivered so I was wrapping my fur around her, while Luwin told me how terrible I am and she moved and grabbed my arm, besides I would take thousands of chances with my life Benny but not one with yours." Brandon said sincerely.
"I think you like her!" The boy mused childlishly.
"I do not like her!"
"Shes beautiful and nice."
"And a pain!" He growled to loudly searing the pain in my head I made a disgruntled noise; I opened my eyes deciding it was time to face him. There he was sitting at my bedside in all his heathen glory and I was still clutching his arm wrapped in the fur, I let got of it. "Sorry-" I started.
"Don't-I cannot do this again." He sighed putting his large rough hand to my forehead.
I looked up at him but there was no malice in his eyes, his touch was almost comforting. "You aren't warm why aren't you eating?"
"How can I eat when I don't know if my baby is being fed." I told him softly.
"I will write Jon Arryn asking for the boy's day to day schedule I'm sure he wouldn't mind for a worried mother and my sizzling headache." He said gruffly.
In his own way he was being nice. Our eyes held there gaze as if we were figuring each other out.
Only the noise of Benjen's sword coming out of his scabbard and back in drew our attention. "Why don't you make me stark!" Benjen said in his best Jamie impression before puffing his chest out proudly smiling as he pretended to be his brother. "Fine!" He moved his sword up again but let go to soon tipping his scabbard and his sword fell to the ground with a clatter.
"Gotta beat the sword Benny!" Brandon said smiling at his brother like I never saw him smile before it was pure love and happiness for that boy.
"How old were you when Rodrick taught you that?" Benjen grumbled picking up his sword.
"No one taught it to me, it's not a move I rehearsed Jamie Lannister happened to make me feel like northern steel would improve his face." Brandon said with a shrug like it was nothing but jut by how Benjen looked at him it was everything to him. He looked to me with those laughing blue eyes.
"I want to be just like Brandon when I grow up!" Benjen declared.
"You'll be better." Brandon muttered and I smiled it was so sweet how Benjen saw his brother as the brave hero but from Brandons face I could tell he no longer saw himself that way.
"Where's my daughter?" I asked suddenly I wasn't sure how long I was asleep.
"With nan last I saw she was listening to stories." Benjen said
"Thank you lord Benjen you are-"
"Benjen, go back to your lessons." Brandon said gruffly before adding. "So you can beat up all the southern knights when you get bigger." Making Benjen grin. He bowed his head. "My lord, princess." He said before running off.
"Would you like some water?" Brandon asked brashly I nodded sitting up.
He poured the glass. "I thought we discussed not making each other's lives harder."
"Is that what we were doing? I thought you were looking for a fight."
"I was not." Brandon said to my surpriseinstead of handing it to me he pressed it carefully to my lips.
"You always want to fight." I murmured softly before drinking. It felt wonderful to drink water even if it was a little odd having someone hold the glass for me. When I pulled back, he took the glass away. I blushed wipping the water from my chin as though I wore an animal.
"For someone who hates to fight your good at it." Brandon mused. He got up going over to the table returning with a bowl of stew.
"Eat this so I can go." Brandon said bluntly handing the warm bowl to me.
My lips parted but no excuse came out.
"I could have it fed to you." He mused Jamie Lannister threatened to do the same thing and had. Everytime I went to eat I thought of Aegon and no longer was able.
"Your son would want you to eat, he would want you to live." Brandon Stark said surprising me. "You said something about it early not sure if he is eating? If you want him to be brought here you will have to be alive to care for him, I am not a nurse maid."
"Would you help me." I asked softly.
"Your asking the wrong Stark, my word would mean nothing to Robert but my brother Eddards might." Brandon said uncharacteristically helpful.
"Will he be coming to Winterfell soon?" I asked hopefully already deciding I could write him if nothing else.
Brandon smirked but there was sadness in his eyes. "Were expecting him any moment. He is bringing back my sisters' body so she can be buried properly." The anger burned his voice.
"Rhaegars crimes are not mine and certainly not my childrens." I told him quickly.
"You would not be in Winterfell if I thought you were, princess." Brandon promised before nodding to the bowl. "Eat if you want me to send word for your sons schedule. You have to give to get princess, this marriage will be a partnership?"
My eyes widened seeing he thought his words were perfectly true. "You think you have been fair?" I asked.
"We negotiated terms." He tried to remind.
"No, you dictated that I was going to not change anything here or bother you or do anything southern and then you asked me what I wanted." I told him deciding he was the one who wanted a blunt wife. The irony that women in dorne get to speak there mind aside from me who was raised to be the perfect westerosi wife to a prince or great lord. The kind of wife they wanted in the northern kingdoms who held her tongue and always apologized no matter fault and Brandon stark was tearing down years of training in a day.
He looked at me then to the fire walking across the room stewing with every loud step before looking back at me. "What do you want to change about Winterfell." He was worried and defensive of his home, but he was also trying.
"Not Winterfell." I promised getting a glare and chuckled.
"I doubt you have it in you to change me princess." Brandon said clutching at his chest for the jape.
"I would prefer if your hair was well kept." I finally said I watched him process this he seemed weirdly pleased not by the request itself but by me finally asking for something personal.
"Only like pretty southern boys huh." He said getting annoyed. No, I did not want that either deciding he would look odd clean shaven with fine cut hair.
"That's not what I meant."
"Speak frank then, what do you want Elia, come on you've never been given this opportunity before I'm sure."
"Not in the capital but in Dorne my words were as important as my brothers, they do not hate woman in Dorne. Frankly we do not hate bathing either." I said but he still looked at me with confused grey eyes. "I would prefer you come to me clean."
"Bathed?"
"Yes. Your hair may stay as long as you like but it should be clean, and mayphaps the edges could be trimmed it would be neater that way." I tried wondering if he would allow such a concession.
"Fine. Anything else." He asked I was surprised he stuck with his word and I decided to push.
"As my husband it is your right to be as harsh and mean and angry as you would like to me. I hope you could be good enough to respect me in public and addresses any failings I have as a wife privately." I told him and something about him seemed soft or good I was not sure. He put his hand against mine. I was surprised and looked up at him.
"I am no prince, but I would never humiliate you like he did." He said as though it was an oath.
"Then I'm grateful on both accounts." I told him.
"Also like your daughter you will need new dresses, order whatever you need… but there is a amore full of my mother's dresses, you could have them if you would like." He said.
"I couldn't take your mothers dresses."
"They are not being used, go ahead." He said I wondered if this was an olive branch.
"That's very kind."
"You will have to shorten them she was taller then you. "
"Alright I can do that. Thank you."
"Good, repay me by eating. I will see to it that your daughter is brought to you." Brandon said walking to the door before chuckling. "You want your children to be safe, for me to come to you clean, and to be given basic human respect. I must say, you did not have the high standards I imagined." He said as always laughed like I was the biggest joke in the world. For once I did not mind so much. I ate my soup deciding this was as close to a victory as I have had in sometime.