Episode 1: None Down, Thirty to Go (Part 1)
(The setting is Toronto. You can see the water, buildings, and the CN Tower of this vast Canadian city in the distance. The camera zooms to the train station where one man stands on top. This man is Don, the host of the show. He smiles at the camera.)
Don: This is Toronto, the capital of North America. Birthplace of funk, where the albino panther roams free. (A boat passes by with an albino panther on it. It roars as it passes by.) Beneath my manly sized thirteen brogues, thirty teams are arriving at this historic train station to embark on a race around the world. I'm your host, Don, and this is... The Ridonculous Race! (He smiles into the camera causing a flash into the camera, starting the intro)
(Cue intro)
=== Train Station ===
(The camera cues to the front of the train station. Don is seen walking along the train station while people pass him.)
Don: Welcome to the Ridonculous Race. Right now, thirty teams from across North America are readying themselves to embark on a race to the death! (Is told something on his earpiece) Not to the death? Okay. Let's meet the teams that aren't (winks) racing to the death.
=== Inside Train ===
(There is a train heading to the train station and carrying some of the teams for the race. The camera goes to a guy and a girl sitting next to each other. The guy is reading a book while the girl looks at him lovingly.)
Don: Carrie and Devin, best friends. (Carrie is blushing while looking at Devin read. He smiles back.)
TEAM INTERVIEW (BEST FRIENDS)
Carrie: I met Devin in the sandbox and we haven't spent a day apart since. If anyone can win this race, it's us.
Devin: Yeah, I know Carrie so well. (Carrie looks lovingly at Devin) It's almost as if we're... (notices Carrie staring at him) What are you doing?
Carrie: (snaps back into attention) Huh? Oh just doing a lint check. For the camera. (Removes a piece of lint from his shirt and laughs nervously) Woo! Race!
(The camera zooms into a woman and a girl sitting next to each other. The woman is applying lipstick while the girl is filing her nails)
Don: Kelly and Taylor, Mom and Daughter.
TEAM INTERVIEW (MOTHER & DAUGHTER)
Taylor: So A. I'm really hot, obviously and B. I'm pretty much the best at everything I do so unless my mom messes things up, we're totally going to win this race.
Kelly: Taylor and her friends love when I hang with them. I'm known as the (air quotes) "cool mom". (giggles) We're so tight. People always mistake us for sisters.
Taylor: (stops filing her nails) Wait, what?
(The camera turns to two girls. One is taking pictures on her phone while the other one is putting their stuff in an overhead bin.)
Don: Emma and Kitty, actual sisters.
(Emma snatches Kitty's phone.)
TEAM INTERVIEW (SISTERS)
Emma: I'm studying international law so that's really going to give us an edge which is good cause we're here to win.
Kitty: And to see the world, meet hot guys, and have some fun.
Emma: If there's time for that, which there won't be, so let's focus on winning. Okay? (Kitty sighs) Good.
(Camera goes to a familiar guy (olive green shirt with camo sleeves and a hand print) and an equally familiar girl (black and teal hair). Both of them are drinking iced coffee and eating sandwiches.)
Don: Gwen and Trent, reunited exes.
TEAM INTERVIEW (REUNITED COUPLE)
Trent: Gwen and I broke up in Action. It was pretty hard, to tell the truth.
Gwen: We agreed to stay as friends and focus on other things for the time being. But about three months ago, we caught up in Ontario and got some coffee, and we've been going strong since.
Trent: I was pretty bummed I missed out on World Tour, and I'm really happy that I have this opportunity to see the world, especially with one of the coolest girls, ever!
Gwen: And we can do it together!
(Camera goes to two guys, one of them baring a familiar face. Both of them are playing games on each of their Game Guys, white for the familiar one and green for the new one.)
Don: Sam and Alan, two guys who love playing video games.
TEAM INTERVIEW (VIDEO GAME BUDDIES)
Alan: The two of us have known each other at a birthday party of one of Sam's cousin. We shared one thing in common and that is playing video games!
Sam: And it's been a while for me being on TV since Revenge of the Island. When I heard about this race, I wanted Dakota to be my partner but ever since she's restored to her normal size and beautiful face, she's been busy modelling. Instead, I picked Alan. (The two share a high-five.)
(The camera turns to two goths sitting next to each other, one male and one female.)
Don: Crimson and Ennui, two exceptionally pale teens. (Crimson and Ennui do not move or speak. They just stare blankly into the camera.) Okay, that's just unnerving.
(The camera now turns to another pair of familiar faces. One is a big guy with a big smile and the other is a scrawny West Indian guy with a snarky and pessimistic look.)
Don: Owen and Noah, seasoned reality TV participants.
Owen: Yeah! Whoo! (Raises his hand) Don't leave me hanging! (Noah rolls his eyes and leaves him hanging.)
TEAM INTERVIEW (REALITY TV PROS)
Owen: Noah and I met on Total Drama and we've been on tons of reality shows since then, like Meltdown Kitchen and Scare Tractor and Fashionista Flip-Flop.
Noah: Don't know how you got on that one.
Owen: (laughs) I'm just so psyched to be reunited with my little buddy. Come here! (Hugs Noah tight causing the latter to choke for air.)
(The camera turns to two familiar girls, one for her red hair and the other for her red bag.)
Don: Mylin and Zoey, two girls who wear red clothing.
TEAM INTERVIEW (GIRLS IN RED)
Zoey: Mylin and I have known each other in All-Stars, when I joined as a participant for the season while Mylin was hired as one of Chris' co-hosts.
Mylin: The two of us have become friends when we and Andi saved Mike from Mal. And a few months ago, when we signed up for the race with Mike and Richard, we realized that both our boyfriends are too busy with college to participate.
Zoey: It was really disappointing but we decided to race with each other.
(The camera now points at two scrawny, meek teens sitting next to each other. They both look identical to one another, but with more than a few differences. One adjusts his helmet while the other uses an inhaler.)
Don: Mickey and Jay, identical twins who are used to overcoming adversity. (Many luggage bags fall on top of them.)
TEAM INTERVIEW (ADVERSITY TWINS)
Mickey: We've both been through a lot, but we're not cursed. Whatever's right before cursed, that's us. (Laughs)
Jay: Like when I was six, I fell into a Burrowing Owl's nest and one of the baby owls flew into my ear. To this day, everything on this side sound like "Whoo-Whoo-Whoo".
Mickey: We're constantly fighting adversity and overcoming it.
Jay: (sighs) Sorry, we gotta switch sides. You're just like "Whoo-Whoo-Whoo".
(The camera turns to two Afro-Canadian teens looking outside the window.)
Don: The totally in-love daters, Stephanie and Ryan.
TEAM INTERVIEW (DATERS)
Ryan: Stephanie and I met at the gym two months and six days ago, and we've been going steady ever since.
Stephanie: We're so excited. Neither of us has ever traveled before. There's so much to discover like, what chocolate protein bars taste like in China.
Ryan: (gasps) I was just wondering that!
Stephanie: No way. (The begin to make out.)
=== Train Station ===
(The trains carrying the pairs just seen stops at the train station. The doors of the train open and one pair leaps out of the trains. They are both wearing pink and purple skating suits. They land on the ground to smile and wave to the camera.)
Don: Joseé and Jacques, Ice Dancers.
TEAM INTERVIEW (ICE DANCERS)
Jacques: We know how to win. We've won gold everywhere.
Joseé: Except the Olympics. He dropped me so we only got silver.
Jacques: (stands up and covers his eyes) GAH! I don't want to talk about it! (Runs away from the confessional)
Joseé: (calls to him) Jacques! (Turns back to the camera) Silver is his least favorite color.
(Two familiar girls exit the train. One has blonde hair and a blue headband and other is a brunette with glasses and an olive sash.)
Don: Lindsay and Beth, two familiar female friends.
TEAM INTERVIEW (FAMILIAR FEMALE FRIENDS)
Lindsay: Oh my gosh! I'm, like, so happy right now!
Beth: I know! We haven't participated together since Action.
Lindsay: Sure did. It bummed me out that you didn't get to see the world with me back then. But I'm glad my BF Tyler did. Speaking of him, he's too busy with his sports career to join,
Beth: And so is Brady, but with college.
Lindsay: On the bright side, we still have each other for this race.
(Another pair exits the train. One looks very familiar and wears a cowboy hat while the other one wears clothes identical to his.)
Don: Geoff and Brody, lifelong friends and surfer dudes.
Geoff: (laughs) Going around the world on someone else's dime. Sweet! (Points to the camera) Hey Bridgette! Love ya babe!
TEAM INTERVIEW (SURFER DUDES)
Geoff: My girl and I did Total Drama together but she's surfing her way across Australia so BOOM! Entré my bud Brody!
Brody: (they fist bump) Yeah, guy! Bros forever! G and B for the W-I-N!
(Another pair exits the train. One looks very familiar and wears a familiar Disney princess attire while the other one has long blonde hair tied in a ponytail, blue eyes, and pale skin and is wearing a black long sleeve shirt with a red rose printed at the front, blue jeans, brown sandals.)
Don: Ella and Angel, singers who are fans of Disney.
TEAM INTERVIEW (DISNEY SINGERS)
Ella: I met Angel back in kindergarten when she protected me from the bullies mocking me for dressing up like a Disney princess.
Angel: We've shared a lot in common and that includes our love for Disney shows as well as the songs that accompany them.
Ella: And I was very ecstatic that this race wouldn't have Chris or Sugar in it, which I means I can sing to my heart's content anytime I want. (Both of them start to vocalize a few notes.)
(Two guys exit the train. One has white hair that he keeps shaved on one side, light green eyes and fair skin. He wears black jeans, a grey t-shirt and a thin grey jacket. The other has short dark green hair, pale skin and light blue eyes. He is wearing blue washed out jeans, a black t-shirt and a black hoodie.)
Don: Eli and Kim, pen pals.
TEAM INTERVIEW (PEN PALS)
Eli: Kim and I have known each other when we were in middle school.
Kim: I met Eli through an ad he put out looking for a pen pal. We started exchanging letters and soon became good friends.
Eli: When the race brought up, we thought this would be an opportunity to meet each other and everyone else participating.
(Another pair of familiar faces exit the train. One of them is a tall dark-skinned guy with green shirt with a 'D' on it and white skullcap. The other is an olive-skinned girl with a SpongeBob shirt.)
Don: Another pair of sweethearts, Simone and DJ.
TEAM INTERVIEW (GOING-STRONG SWEETHEARTS)
DJ: Simone and I have met each other back in Island. At first, she was smitten by my kindness and so was I with her can-do spirit and strong will.
Simone: After we confessed our feelings to each other, we've started dating. Of course, all of our friends, our parents, and my brother Jax were very supportive of us and our relationship.
DJ: And of course, this race would be another chance for us to see the world again. I just hope that we don't break another mummified animal again. (whimpers in fear)
Simone: Relax, hon. That's all water under the bridge. Besides, Chris and Alejandro won't be around to bother us anymore.
DJ: Thanks, babe.
(Camera then cuts to another pair of familiar faces. One is a girl with a familiar headscarf and the other is a familiar guy with his signature bright green Mohawk.)
Don: Andi and Duncan, two ex-inmates from juvie.
TEAM INTERVIEW (JUVIE INMATES)
Duncan: Andi and I met during Total Drama Island. We started talking to each other more, when we reached the merge.
Andi: When I told him that I was a juvie inmate like him, the two of us have become best friends and we've been that way ever since.
Duncan: We sure did. And after I was arrested for destroying Chris' villa to save my 'bad boy' reputation, which really felt good, to say the least, Andi helped in bailing me out of grown-up jail thanks to her money.
Andi: Once we heard about this race, we thought this would be a chance to see the world again, win that prize money, and probably meet up with our old TD friends.
Duncan: Got that right. (The two of them share a high-five.)
=== Outside Train Station ===
(We're back to where we first started. Don is standing by the starting line. The teams from the train arrive outside and see Don.)
Don: (signals to the teams) Right this way, teams. Over here. (The teams go to the starting line.)
(The camera shows four people (a man, a boy, a woman, and a girl) walking on the sidewalk. The man is smiling while the boy is visibly angry. The woman and the girl are talking to each other.)
Don: Also competing are Dwayne and Dwayne, Jr., father and son, and Monica and Liz, teacher and student.
TEAM INTERVIEW (FATHER & SON)
Dwayne: (has his arms around Junior) I spend a lot of time at the old office so this race is a perfect chance for Junior and I to squeeze in a little father-son bonding time. (Laughs) Right, buddy?
Junior: (rolls his eyes) Yeah, sure dad. Hey, are there any kids my age competing besides Liz?
Dwayne: Oh, um...
TEAM INTERVIEW (TEACHER & STUDENT)
Liz: (Monica has her arms on her shoulders) I was planning to join this race with my mom or dad, but it was disappointing that they were too busy. Luckily for me, Ms. Monica here stepped in as my partner for the race.
Monica: I figured that this race would also be an opportunity for me to spend time with my two students receive a positive evaluation review from all of Junior and Liz' classmates and the rest of the faculty.
(The camera shows two ladies in blue uniform on a building. One is using a rope to climb down from the building while the other one crashes through the window. The both run towards everyone else.)
Don: Sanders and MacArthur, ambitious police cadets.
TEAM INTERVIEW (POLICE CADETS)
MacArthur: We've been training at the academy for months. We're tough as nails and we'll go to the extreme to win this thing.
Sanders: Definitely. We can win this as long as we don't break any international laws.
MacArthur: I'm okay with breaking a few. (Sanders looks at her suspiciously)
(A new team enters the area. They do parkour on top of the cars, the awnings, and the pillars on the sidewalk while also swinging from trees. Both are very fit. One is a boy with shaggy brown hair, light skin, brown eyes, muscular build, lavender hoodie, black jogging pants, white sneakers. The other ihas combed black hair, tanned skin, dark brown eyes, lithe build, lavender windbreaker, purple T-Shirt, black jogging pants, green sneakers, black eyeglasses.)
Don: Ariton and Kailer, flying freerunners
TEAM INTERVIEW (FLYING FREERUNNERS)
Ariton: When we were kids, the two of us met at a dojo. We started off as rivals but after Kailer successfully beaten me after I got so tired, I gave him my respect.
Kailer: He even defended me from the other dojo students when they found out that I was taking lyrical dance lessons as well. From that point on, the two of us became the best of friends.
Ariton: We're the strongest team here and one of the smartest. We're going to win this race then and there.
(The camera now shows two guys fighting on the ground. One is dark-skinned and skinny while the other one is light-skinned and hefty.)
Don: Lorenzo and Chet, new stepbrothers.
TEAM INTERVIEW (STEPBROTHERS)
Lorenzo: My dad married his mom last year but we still hate each other. So they're making us do this. (Crosses arms) Jerks!
Chet: (gets in Lorenzo's face) Don't call my mom a jerk, jerk! (Pushes Lorenzo off-screen)
Lorenzo: (come back) Shut your word hole, jerk! (Pushes Chet off-screen. Chet comes back and tackles Lorenzo off-screen)
(The camera shows another team walking down the sidewalk heading towards the race. They are wearing fashionable clothes.)
Don: Also racing are Tom and Jen, highly attractive fashion bloggers with impeccable taste. (Sighs) I told you not to let the team write their own cards.
TEAM INTERVIEW (FASHION BLOGGERS)
Jen: Hey, hey, hey. Shout out to all our blog followers out there. Wish us luck.
Tom: I bet Jen we could win the race but I didn't think she'd actually take me up on it.
Jen: Hey, I put my mind to something and it happens. (Snaps her fingers)
(The camera shows another team walking down the sidewalk heading towards the race. This team consists of two young boys in boy scout uniforms, one having a lighter shade of green than the other.)
Don: Let's not forget the boy scouts Ethan and Riley.
TEAM INTERVIEW (BOY SCOUTS)
Ethan: We've been in the Boy Scouts for a year now. I wouldn't wanna brag, but I've had much fun being in it.
Riley: Me too. (gets excited) But not as much fun as getting upgraded to the rank of Tenderfoot!
Ethan: (folds his arms) Now now, Riley. In order to get upgraded, we must-
Riley: Yeah, I hear ya. Get the Globetrotter badge by going to at least 10 cities around the world. Don't worry, man. You still have the camera which has the proof we've been in those 10 different cities, right?
Ethan: (pulls it our of his backpack) Yeah. And I never leave home without it.
(The camera shows two familiar girls getting out of a taxi. The familiar brunette is drinking a bottle of water and the familiar blonde is listening to some music in her phone.)
Don: Sarah and Sammy, two girl buddies and cheerleaders.
TEAM INTERVIEW (CHEERLEADERS)
Sarah: Sammy and I met on Pahkitew Island. And we've keeping in touch with each other ever since.
Sammy: We're really excited about the race. I mean, the two of us travelling the world together. Of course, Amy tried, and I mean tried, to sign up for the race just to spite me and Sarah but I was able to stop her.
(A new team enters the area. They are dressed like rock stars and are playing air guitar.)
Don: Rock and Spud, the aspiring rockers.
TEAM INTERVIEW (ROCKERS)
Rock: We're best friends who love to rock out! Spud wasn't really sure about doing this because he's not super fit or good at much of anything. Except rocking out! (Rock does air guitar sounds) So I said you just rock bud, I'll carry you. (Rock and Spud do air guitar sounds again)
(On the street, two girls are stopping oncoming traffic in order to save a butterfly. People honk at them.)
Don: Laurie and Miles, granola-loving, hippie-dippie friends.
TEAM INTERVIEW (VEGANS)
Laurie: We want to win so we can donate to our favorite charities: Save the Hunchback Walrus, Goat Milk Eco-Warriors, People for the Ethical treatment of Ants. So many great causes!
(Two girls hop off a bus and head towards the rest of the teams. They both wear glasses.)
Don: Ellody and Mary, scientific geniuses who say they will use their winnings to support the science community.
TEAM INTERVIEW (GENIUSES)
Ellody: Astrophysics is underfunded. Reality shows offer monetary prizes. Conundrum solved!
(A taxi stops and two teens exit. One looks familiar and wears a wizard's robe. The other one dresses like a Viking. They are both drinking sodas.)
Don: Leonard and Tammy, dedicated live-action role players. Whatever that is.
TEAM INTERVIEW (LARPERS)
Leonard: Pahkitew Island was tough, but with Tammy's new spells, HUZZAH! We'll claim the Dragon's Eye. That's Dwarfish for one-million. (Tammy plays the ocarina)
(Two older men walk on the sidewalk. They are dressed in tennis gear.)
Don: And our last team racing is Gerry and Pete, retired pro tennis players and friendly rivals.
TEAM INTERVIEW (TENNIS RIVALS)
Gerry: We are both very competitive. We've been tennis rivals for years. But for half a million each? Game on! (They both laugh)
Pete: Maybe we'll get some new sponsorship. Anyone need a pitchman for Seniors Laxatives?
Gerry and Pete: (point to each other) Call his agent! (They laugh again)
=== Starting Line ===
(All the teams have finally arrived at the starting line for the race and surround Don as he begins to explain the race.)
Don: Welcome contestants! This is the starting line for your 42-part race around the world. Each part ends at a "chill zone". Get there fast because the last team to stand on the "Carpet of Completion" may be cut from the competition. (The contestants begin to frown and show worried faces upon hearing this news.) But the first team to reach our last chill zone will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (This news causes the contestant to cheer in excitement.) Look over here. (The contestants shift their attention to Don who now stands by a miniature replica of him with a red button on top.) This is our Ridonculous tip box, also known as "The Don Box". Press this button to get your tips that will lead you through the Ridonculous Race around the world. Ready teams? (All teams get ready to start) On your mark... Get set... RACE! (The teams race toward him) Watch the face! Not the hair! (They all trample over him) AUGHHHHHH!
(Teams begin to reach the first Don Box and pressing the button. A tip comes out from the mouth of the Don Box.)
Geoff: (panting and reading the tip) Race on foot to the CN Tower! (He and Brody run)
Ethan: And find the Don Box to find your next tip! (He and Riley run)
(Father & Son, Surfer Dudes, Cheerleaders, Teacher & Student, Boy Scouts and Ice Dancers began running to the next Don Box)
Junior: There's the tower!
Jacques: And here comes the competition!
Dwayne: (turns around) Huh, where? (Hits a garbage can but immediately recovers) Whoa! (The trash can then hits Joseé and Jacques, covering them.) Oh, my bad!
Geoff: (him and Brody stop to check up on Joseé and Jacques) Whoa, nasty! Are you guys okay? (Joseé and Jacques lift the trash can off of them and keep on running) Whoa! Rad! (The trash can lands on the two) Go! (They keep running with the trash can on)
=== CN Tower ===
(Some of the teams reach the CN Tower where the Don Box is located outside the tower.)
Dwayne: There's the Don Box! (Presses the button)
Junior: (reads the tip) It's an "Either-Or".
Liz: (reads it) "Stairs" or "Scares". (Jacques and Joseé arrive at the Don Box while Geoff and Brody crash into a wall) But what the heck is an "Either-Or"?
Don: An "Either-Or" gives teams the choice of two challenges. They either climb one hundred forty-four flights of stairs to reach the world's tallest observation deck. That's just under a billion stairs. Or scares: take the elevator and get the scare of a lifetime by doing a sky walk all the way around the outside of the tower. Not to worry though, they'll be wearing helmets. And as an extra precaution, we had a safety rail installed. (The rail falls halfway). Teams must finish either task and find this local guide for their next tip.
=== CN Tower ===
(Half the groups have reached the Don Box and are reading the tip)
Sammy: What do you think?
Sarah: Let's go for scares. The sky walk may sound as terrifying as it is but at least we'll get there faster.
Sanders: (reads the tip) Climb one hundred forty-four flights of stairs? (Laughs) Yeah, we'll do scares. (Runs with MacArthur)
Tom: Scares. (Runs off with Jen)
Zoey: Scares. (Runs off with Mylin)
Chet: (He and Lorenzo fight for the tip) Scares! (Lets go, causing Lorenzo to fall) Called it.
Mickey: Stairs.
TEAM INTERVIEW (ADVERSITY TWINS)
Jay: Mickey gets nose bleeds when he goes up too high too fast. Makes it pretty tough to take flights or go up really tall towers. (Takes the tip from Mickey, causing him to get a paper cut.)
Mickey: GAHHH! Paper cut!
=== Elevator ===
(Dwayne, Junior, Liz, and Monica arrive at the elevator first. Sarah and Sammy enter as well.)
Sammy: Got room for two more?
Dwayne: Of course. Come right in. We'll be there first. Alright! Way to go Junior! How about giving me a high-five? (Junior dodges causing Dwayne to hit all the buttons. The six of them stare at all the buttons. Dwayne laughs.) Whoops.
TEAM INTERVIEW (FATHER & SON)
Dwayne: (has his arms around Junior) For a skinny tower, there sure are a lot of floors.
TEAM INTERVIEW (TEACHER & STUDENT)
Monica: That sure was a total floppy move back there.
TEAM INTERVIEW (CHEERLEADERS)
Sarah: Of all the people who had to do that, it had to be Mr. Dwayne.
Sammy: I still don't get why he was able to press all the buttons in one pass.
(Father & Son, Teacher & Student, and Cheerleaders all got out of the elevator)
Sarah: Guess, we'll have to take the stairs, then.
(Surfer Dudes, Familiar Female Friends, Juvie Inmates, Stepbrothers, Fashion Bloggers, Police Cadets, Ice Dancers, Flying Freerunners, Boy Scouts, and Disney Singers arrive at the elevator and notice all the buttons have been pushed.)
Geoff: Hey, who pushed all the buttons?
Andi: This elevator could take forever and we don't have all day.
MacArthur: Gotta take the stairs. (All the contestants run to the stairs except Tom, Jen, Beth, Lindsay, and Sanders)
Sanders: Or we can just wait.
MacArthur: Hustle! (Sanders runs to the stairs)
Jen: Meh, this will probably be faster.
Lindsay: Yeah. (The elevator closes)
=== Stairs ===
(Father & Son, Teacher & Student, Cheerleaders, and Adversity Twins run up the stairs.)
Dwayne: Anyone asks, we chose stairs. Always stairs.
Don: (voice-over) While Father & Son, Teacher & Student, Cheerleaders, and Adversity Twins commit to climbing the unconscionable number of stairs, more teams choose scares. But they're in for a long wait.
(The camera shows inside the elevator where the Familiar Female Friends and the Fashion Bloggers are stopping on each floor)
Jen: Hey, hey, fashion vlog followers. We would like to talk about today's fashion faux pas. But before that, we're giving a shout-out to two of our blog followers, Beth and Lindsay.
Lindsay: Thanks! Me and Beth here love your critiques on summer fashion last week.
Jen: Now back to today's fashion faux pas, which is...
(They stop on a floor with a janitor with overalls.)
Tom: Overalls. Ugh, nasty.
Jen: I know, right? Like, get with today! (Lindsay and Beth notice the pissed janitor and give silent "don't say that" signals)
=== Observation Deck ===
(The elevator reaches the observation deck where a few civilians are watching the view. Tom and Jen exit with a mop and bucket on their heads. Aaryn and Yves follow close behind unscathed.)
Beth: We warned you not to mock him.
Tom: (takes off mop from his head while Jen takes off the bucket) Well, that happened. (Looks around) Huh, where is everyone?
Jen: I don't see any of the other teams. We're tied for first place! (Squeals)
Lindsay: Let's all strut to the winner circle in style! (They all casually walk as the local guide points them in the right direction)
Jen: We're so the teams to beat! (They walk outside)
=== Sky Walk ===
(They've have gone outside to find the Sky Walk. It is incredibly high, windy, and dangerous. The safety rail has fallen halfway. They all freak out.)
Jen: We have to walk out HERE?! (They gulp)
Don: (voice-over) Oh yes, you do. The Ridonculous Race will return!
(Commercial break)
=== Stairs ===
(The teams that chose stairs are climbing the large amount of stairs. Don's voice is heard to the viewers)
Don: (voice-over) Those who abandoned the elevator are in for a painful climb, and frankly that's more fun to watch. (Snickers)
TEAM INTERVIEW (ADVERSITY TWINS)
Mickey: (he and Jay are taking a break) On the upside, we're not in last place. (Andi and Duncan pass them) On the downside, that probably won't be true for long.
=== Ground Floor ===
(The teams that chose elevator wait for it to return. Mother & Daughter finally arrived inside.)
Taylor: Huh? Oh, great. Thanks for being slow, now we're in a race for last place. When we get home, hire yourself a personal trainer.
Kelly: Great idea, sweetie.
Taylor: I know. That's why I thought of it.
=== Stairs ===
(The camera now cuts to the teams that chose the stairs.)
Geoff: (he and Brody pass Jay and Mickey) Sweet form dudes! Keep it up!
Mickey: They seem nice.
Jay: No alliances.
TEAM INTERVIEW (ADVERSITY TWINS)
Mickey: Jay doesn't think we should form any alliances.
Jay: We're soft meat.
Mickey: Really soft meat.
Sanders: (stops and leans on the railing) Thighs on fire. So queasy. (Nearly hurls)
MacArthur: (comes back to her and carries her on her shoulder) So you're one of those skinny-fat people who can't climb ten flights of stairs without spewing chunks? What do you do, yoga? (Runs)
(The order of people running on the stairs are Juvie Inmates, Cheerleaders, Teacher & Student, Father & Son, Flying Freerunners, Surfer Dudes, Adversity Twins, Ice Dancers, Disney Singers, Daters, Boy Scouts, and Stepbrothers.)
Don: (voice-over) As half of the teams continue to climb or wait... and wait... and wait some more, the Fashion Bloggers and the Familiar Female Friends are the first to reach the observation deck but the scare might be too much for them.
=== Observation Deck ===
(The Fashion Bloggers and the Familiar Female Friends argue about doing the scare with the guide. They hug each other in fear.)
Lindsay: W-we can't go out there on that death walk! The wind will blow us away!
Tom: I'm fashionably svelte! I'm like a paper doll! (The guide rolls his eyes)
=== Bottom Floor ===
(The elevator has returned and is now available to the rest of the teams.)
Don: (voice) With the return of the elevator the competition is heating up. (Tennis Rivals, Best Friends, Reunited Couple, Sisters, Goths, Going-Strong Sweethearts, Geniuses, Vegans and Girls in Red enter the elevator and close it immediately.)
Taylor: Rude.
Owen: Wow, nice robe.
Leonard: It has cloaking powers. Observe. Disappearicus convincicus! Can't see me anymore, can you?
Owen: Um... I'm gonna go over there.
=== Observation Deck ===
(The Familiar Female Friends and the Fashion bloggers still refuse to do the Sky Walk. The guide holds up a box with helmets.)
Tom: Helmets?! Are you crazy?! Now you want us to ruin our hair too? No, I did not sign up for that. (He and Jen cross their arms)
Jen: Plus, aubergine isn't my color.
Tom: (to guide) It's not, trust us.
Beth: Hey. They may not be fashionable but at least they'll keep us safe.
Lindsay: That's just one thing about the helmets, Beth.
=== Stairs ===
(Back to those who choose the stairs, Dwayne is now tired and falling behind as the Surfers ran past him.)
Geoff: Doing great, bro! Our calves are gonna be so toned after this!
Brody: Yeah, totally! We're gonna look like Greek gods from the knees down!
Joseé: (she and Jacques wave) Hello to all our fans! (Blows a kiss) We love you!
Ariton: (he and Kailer are keeping pace with them) Great form.
Joseé: Ignore the peanut gallery. (She and Jacques continue to run)
Ethan: (running alongside the Flying Freerunners) I think you're doing great.
Kailer: Thanks.
Riley: (lagging slightly behind) Wait up, Ethan! I'm not as quick as you and you know that.
Sanders: (still being carried by MacArthur) Put me down, I can do this!
MacArthur: I beg to differ, chicken legs. (Continues)
TEAM INTERVIEW (POLICE CADETS)
MacArthur: It's all in the glutes. I only use the stair machine at the gym. I'm basically 80% glutes at this point. They've taken over the rest of my muscles. See this? (Flexes arm) It's glutes. It's all glutes.
Don: (voice) After an hour of stair climbing, some of the contestants are really losing it.
Chet: (he and Lorenzo are panting and climbing slowly) If we come in last, it's your fault, doofus!
Lorenzo: Hurry up and climb faster, slowpoke!
Chet: Stop breathing on my back, sweatball! (Sighs)
Jay: (he and Mickey are drenched in sweat) Stay with me Mickey, eyes wide.
Mickey: (his eyes are wide open) It's okay, mommy. I don't need a new elephant. (Laughs weirdly)
Jay: (deadpan) This is why we don't visit a lot of sky
Angel: They seem a bit in over their heads to do this, don't you agree?
Ella: Not to seem judgmental but yes.
=== Observation Deck ===
(While Tom and Jen continue to argue with the guide, the elevator arrives with the 9 teams that exit and go to the guide)
Devin: There's the sky walk!
Tom: (the rest of the teams try to get helmets but he stops them) Hold on! I need to make sure my helmet is disinfected before we do this. (The other teams glare at him)
=== Sky Walk ===
(Carrie and Devin have reached outside)
Devin: (terrified at what he just saw from the sky walk) Wha! Oh man...
Carrie: Okay. You've always wanted to conquer your fear of heights, right?
Devin: I'm not scared of heights, I'm scared of falling! Big difference!
Carrie: Don't worry, it's a TV competition. It's gotta be safe. (A bird lands on the railing and it falls) Whoa!
Pete: (laughs as he and Gerry run past Carrie and Devin) Now we're in the lead! Ha ha, way to snooze, chuckle heads!
Carrie: You can do it! I believe in you! (removes his hand from the guardrails)
Devin: That makes one of us!
(Tennis Rivals continue on walking along the sky walk, with Best Friends not far behind them.)
=== Ground Floor ===
(The elevator has returned for the rest of the contestants doing the sky walk. Owen and Noah race to get in.)
Owen: Hey! Make way for two more! (Noah enters)
Taylor: Sorry. No room. (Presses a button to close the elevator but Owen gets between the doors before it closes.)
Owen: (hit by door) Ow! (Hit by door again) Ow!
Eli: Hang on! (pulls Owen inside and the elevator goes up)
Taylor: (while they go up they hear strange noises) This elevator sounds awful.
Noah: Yeah that's not the elevator.
Owen: (farts secretly)
Alan: (smells) What is that stench?! (Everyone begins coughing, gagging, and covering their noses at Owen's farting)
Noah: (Literally doesn't care and is covered by a cloud of farts)
=== Sky Walk ===
(The ten teams doing the Sky Walk are all outside now, trying to resist the wind as they continue to walk to the other side of the top floor. Tennis Rivals were suddenly blown back.)
Carrie: That's it. Just put one foot in front of the other. I'm so proud of you!
Devin: Couldn't do it without you pal! (Carrie smiles) Not going to die. Not going to die.
Kitty: (taking pictures with her phone) This is so cool! (Emma turns to where Kitty is.)
Emma: Focus, sis! This is life or death.
Kitty: Come on, look at what we're doing! It's incredible! I'll feel so alive.
Emma: Yeah, I'll make sure they put that quote on your gravestone.
Beth: (she and Lindsay are hugging each other for safety) Stay strong, girlfriend. We can get through this.
Jen: (she and Tom hold each other tight as they walk) Promise me you'll never let go!
Tom: Never! Can you believe people pay to do this?
Simone: (she is holding hands with DJ) This is kinda like the time we climbed up Lady Liberty 2 years ago, don't you think?
DJ: Yeah, except that it's windy.
Laurie: We're doing this for you, Mother Earth! Don't kill us!
=== Stairs ===
MacArthur: Coming through! Cadets for the win!
Jacques: Not for long!
=== Observation Deck ===
Don: (voice-over) The last elevator has arrived, but while those teams still have to take the dreaded sky walk teams that took the stairs are literally leaping into the lead.
Jacques: (he and Joseé leap out from the stairs in front of the guide. They are drenched in sweat) First place! (Read the tip from the guide) Catch a flight with a zip, ride a line to your tip. Eh? Qu'est-ce que?
Don: (voice-over) Teams must take a flimsy zip line over Lake Ontario to this island airport and snag their next tip along the way. The line was tested this morning by our intern Andrew. (A cap is seen floating alone in the water) Condolences again to his family.
Jacques: (he and Joseé grab onto a rail and zip towards the tip with Ariton and Kailer following behind them. Joseé and Gabriella get the tip) Go Team Canada! YAYYYY!
Ariton and Kailer: Team USA!
(Meanwhile, people on the sky walk are starting to finish)
Devin: (he and Carrie get inside) Oh, man. Thank goodness.
DJ: We're here.
(Gerry and Pete exit the skywalk)
Pete: (cracking noise) AAAHH! My artificial knee gave out! (Clutches it in pain on the floor)
TEAM INTERVIEW (TENNIS RIVALS)
Gerry: Gotta say, agreeing to do this show was a great idea. We've gone through way tougher battles than any of these kids. So what if they've got more zing, more ambition, more blind optimism, more... (realizes in sadness) this show was a terrible idea.
Sanders: (She and MacArthur arrive) Finally. (MacArthur drops her)
MacArthur: Yep, now it's your turn. Carry me.
Sanders: What?
MacArthur: Ha! I'm joking. You couldn't carry a loaf of bread.
TEAM INTERVIEW (POLICE CADETS)
MacArthur: Looks like a lot of teams are dealing with some dead weight.
Sanders: Dah, are you referring to me?
Carrie: (reads the tip along with the other teams) Zip line? I've always wanted to do that!
Trent: So do I.
Gerry: (worried) Zip line?! I've never wanted to do that!
=== Island Airfield ===
(The Ice Dancers and The Flying Free Runners have finally arrived to the next tip)
Joseé: (she and Jacques wave) Thank you! We love you! Merci! (They smile wide)
Don: (He looks confused) Who are you waving to? There's no one here.
Jacques and Joseé: Our fans!
TEAM INTERVIEW (ICE DANCERS)
Joseé: Our fans give us the love and energy to perform under extreme pressure. Without them, my partner Jacques would never be able to overcome his "many" faults.
Jacques: (raises an eyebrow) Umm, why do you say "many" like that?
Joseé: You know why. (Keeps smiling)
Kailer: (reads the tip) Book two seats on the next flight to Morocco.
Don: There are three flights to Morocco, each leaving thirty minutes apart. Teams on the first flight have a distinct advantage of arriving first. (The Ice Dancers and the Flying Freerunners get their tickets and board the plane) Teams on the last flight should probably question why they even entered this race. Because wow, really?
TEAM INTERVIEW (REALITY TV PROS)
Noah: Every reality show I've been on, I've lost. This time, no excuses. No distractions. I got my eye on the cheddar.
Owen: And to taste the foods, er, Winning, whoo!
Devin: (Carrie grabs the tip as they zip) We did it! You are the best!
Carrie: Oh! (Blushes and giggles)
TEAM INTERVIEW (BEST FRIENDS)
Devin: had to do the race with Carrie. She's smart, fast, determined.
Carrie: (smiles) Aw.
Devin: And my girlfriend Shelley was busy. (Carrie stops smiling.)
Gerry: (he and Pete fight to get the tip) Need a hand? (pushes Pete into the lakeand laughs) That was for Wimbledon '77!
Pete: AUGHHHHHH!
Gerry: (grabs the tip but accidentally lets go of the zip line) Gotcha (falls into the water) AW, DANG IT!
Duncan: (he and Andi zip lined as he grabbed the tip) Yes!
Owen: (he and Noah are on the sky walk and Noah is being hit hard by the wind) You need to put on a few pounds.
Noah: (he starts floating away until Owen grabs him pulling both of them) AUGHHHH! (Owen hold onto the door) DO NOT LET GO!
TEAM INTERVIEW (REALITY TV PROS)
Noah: (he and Owens eyes are wide open from that near-death experience and their hair is blown back) Maybe doing this show wasn't such a good idea.
Owen: Maybe...
Rock: (he and Spud are doing the sky walk) Dude, check this out! (He spits in the wind and the spit hits Spud) Hehe, sorry.
TEAM INTERVIEW (ROCKERS)
Rock: The wind was howling like "Whoosh!" and the spit webbed his face like [splatting noise]. Heh, and then there was a bird, and it was like "Ah! Ah!"
MacArthur: First one to grab the tip gets the top bunk back at our dorm room.
Sanders: I already have the top bunk.
MacArthur: Not for long. (They started zip lining.) Whoo!
Brody: (he and Geoff make it) Yeah! We did it! AUGHHHH! (Falls in pain) Ow, my calves! My calves!
(Dwayne, Junior, Monica, and Liz finally made it to the top floor.)
Monica: Phew, thank goodness.
Dwayne: (panting) Good... good job, pal.
Stephanie: We did it, baby!
Ryan: (sees Brody down) Whoa! Watch your step, sweet cheeks. (Carries Stephanie)
Stephanie: I love it when you get all gentleman-like. (Hugs his face)
Sammy: (finally makes to the deck) Finally.
Sarah: (panting heavily) Let's sit down first. I'm really winded down from all that running. (Both of them sit down on a nearby bench)
Zoey: (she and Mylin finished the sky walk) Man, that was a scary walk.
Mylin: You said it. But it was all worth it to get here. (grabs two helmets and head to where the zip line is)
Owen: (using Noah like a parasail to get to the other side of the observation deck) Whoo-hoo!
(As Mary and Ellody leave they are covered in bugs)
Ellody: Well that was illuminating. (Mary spits out a bug from her mouth
TEAM INTERVIEW (GENIUSES)
Ellody: Based on the splatter, the wind velocity was forty-five knots. Twenty more and we'd be splattered.
Devin and Carrie: (they both land on the airfield and read the tip they caught) Morocco? (gasp) Woohoo! (they ran to the get their tickets)
(Sanders and MacArthur are still zip lining as the former grabbed the tip)
Sanders: Yes!
Rock: (as he Spud, Leonard, Tammy, Sam, Alan, Crimson, and Ennui finally made it along the sky walk) Whoo-hoo! Rock and roll!
Brody: (still clutching his leg) Oh, leg cramp!
Geoff: Just keep breathing, bro! Come on, like, pant it out. Let me hear it! (Chet and Lorenzo have finally made it to the top while Sammy and Sarah stood up from their resting spot and continue running.)
Don: (Most of the teams except The Surfer Dudes , the Stepbrothers, the Cheerleaders, and the Adversity Twins do the zip line. It goes Boy Scouts, Sisters, Reunited Couple, Geniuses, Vegans, Father/Son, Daters, Teacher/Student, Pen Pals, Fashion Bloggers, Mother/Daughter, Disney, Singers, Daters, Girls in Red, Video Game Buddies and Reality Pros) As more teams reach the tarmac and get on flights one and two, the race to not come in last intensifies.
Jay: (dragging a still dazed Mickey as they finally reached the observation deck) Almost there, Mickey. Stay with me.
Mickey: I'm a dainty princess!
Geoff: Come on, bro, we gotta move! (grabs Brody's arm and pulls him along)
Brody: Ah, oh! Potassium! Need potassium!
Geoff: Does anybody have a banana?!
Lorenzo: (as he and Chet are fighting on the T-bar) Get off! I snagged it, I read it! (They landed on the cushion, with the Surfer Dudes landing on them.)
Geoff: Uh, sorry. Thanks for breaking our fall, dudes. (reads the tip) Morocco? Guy, awesome! (gets up and runs with Brody, while the Adversity Twins landed on the Stepbrothers)
Mickey: Ha, I can't believe we did it. (notices that they are sitting on Chet and Lorenzo) Oh, uh, sorry.
Jay: "Take the next flight to Morocco." Come on!
Mickey: (worriedly) Yay. Flying.
Don: (voice-over as the Tennis Rivals have swam out of the lake, with a fish on Pete's head and a turtle biting Gerry's face) The teams have arrived and the flights have been booked. Flight number one will carry Father & Son, Teacher & Student, Best Friends, Daters, Police Cadets, Ice Dancers, Going-Strong Sweethearts, Juvie Inmates, Flying Freerunners, and Reality TV Pros. Flight number two carries the Boy Scouts, Sisters, Reunited Couple, Vegans, Fashion Bloggers, Mom & Daughter, Rockers, Girls in Red, Disney Singers, and Geniuses. And flight number three has the Familiar Female Friends, LARPers, Pen Pals, Video Game Buddies, Goths, Surfer Dudes, Adversity Twins, Cheerleaders, Step Brothers, and Tennis Rivals. Who will win the first jaunt in our race? Tune in next time to find out. The Ridonculous Race is to be continued.
Author's Note: (panting) Man, that is the longest chapter I have ever written. Anyway, I've decided to add 16 additional places for my story. I've created a new poll on my FanFiction profile. Go ahead and pick 3 of your favorite places. Send me your challenges through message or reviews, please.