Babies can come early or late, apparently: it was a warning within the guide book which I don't really understand. I do kind of comprehend what a 'due date' is, but I don't have one, I don't even know where you'd get one. Or what a 'doctor' is. So, by my standards and understanding this baby is going to come when it decides too, whenever that might be. Probably late, after all, I'm usually late from what Iruka-sensei says, but then again I've never understood that whole 'time' thing anyway… I'm looking forward to the birth actually, which is odd, because according to everything I've read and heard as hearsay its a painful process, and I hate pain. In a way however, something giddy fills me with the thought, a family.
Its May, and I'm close. My knowledge of the situation is limited, but I know at least I have enough stocked in my cupboards to last me for a few weeks. Whatever the case, going out as Uzumaki Naruto is too much a risk; I can't afford to give away my situation in having my water break in the middle of the street, if someone should figured out my circumstance then with how much the village hates me, there's a possibility that they'd kill my child. Going as Kamaboko is a safer option as it always is, however, beginning labor in public even as her would be an extreme risk, while I could probably maintain the disguise, I would still have to evacuate to my apartment; which everyone knows belongs to the hated child.
I've done enough pranks as Naruto to steer away suspicion as to my -hopefully- limited disappearance. I can only hope that they decide to come soon within the month, because I cannot afford to be gone for long as Naruto, no matter how much I want too.
Ripping, tearing, like a stabbing sensation throughout my entire abdomen, it clenches in me and eases randomly to the point wherein I can actually feel the sweat populating my entire body. During those merciful times of rest, I can feel my mouth straining from my teeth having been grinding together too much. But worse, I know that my eyelids want to collapse, that they want to give in and take the opportunity, it sucks but I know- I understand, even now, that I have to stay awake for the entire experience. Though, I don't know how long its been, it feels like a long time, a stretched infinity since I lay down and began giving birth. It comes as brief thought, and honestly I wish it never came to me; but I wonder, if this what the lady who gave birth me went though? I think its such a stupid consideration, to me it doesn't matter, and neither does she. In giving birth now I'm going to create someone new, and have a family that actually matters, not some phantom people who the Hokage says loved me.
Suddenly, my eyes can see a little better and the water building up all escapes down the sides of my face pouring itself into my hair. The pain continues in a sharp burst, but, my lungs breathe easier for some reason and I can feel my teeth unclenching. I can feel myself opening a slightly wider streching like needles poking in my vigina, something excites me though, where it hadn't before, so now, my body bares down and I push with all my might.
Its horrible, an agony, that I can't comprehend. Proper description eludes me, but I know it feels as if something wishes to escape through my skin, and then attempts to tear apart my insides, violently deciding to rip my organs. I lose control and my body starts to shake, I'm tired, but the pain now keeps me awake and I even with knowledge that I'm screaming I barely hear it. I know my head throws back, and I know that I start begging for everything to stop, I want a moment of rest just a single moment which doesn't come to me. My legs kick out as if they're fighting an invisible enemy, almost disorientating the bundle of sheets I have piled for the baby to glide into while coming out, all the meanwhile my arms are stiff as my hands and nails grip into the bare mattress underneath me. My entire face is scrunched tight, and my mouth has the feeling of not knowing how to breathe, but for a moment my lids sliver open and I see a tiny, ridiculously small head, face, and shoulders, all between my legs. I see them, my baby.
So small.
I decide to gasp in as much air as possible. Then push. The whole thing is awful, but, I see my baby beneath me, and when their feet come through, I feel my entire body un-tense- and honestly, its just so wonderful to hear them wail. I collapse for a minute, reprieve as I ignore the sensation below, a few minutes which I need to remember how to breathe properly, in order to remember how my body is supposed to feel. Its only for a short time, my mind is fuzzy and I can hardly recall who I am, but the integrated thought I'd forced into my brain before everything had luckily remained. I force my fingers to work in order to grab the cloth I'd placed on my nightstand, and then I'm moving, kind of inching my way upwards so that I'm leaning over the small baby in the sheets between my legs. Her crying is like a pounding to my ears, but he's still covered in goo and as much as I may hate it, I have to clean her and wrap her up in a blanket of some sort to keep her warm. Gladly, and to my own relief, I have a item which works exactly as such, it is: according to the old man, the baby-blanket which I had been found in.
I'm panting by the time I'm finished, even though it shouldn't have been a difficult task, I think my body disagrees. But! At least it lets me see that her hair is an auburn red and she has my darker skin colour -which I suppose isn't surprising, now I just need to wait and see what eye colour she has. Its I little hard considering my arms are week, and my hands protest slightly, but I want her beside me when I sleep. So, that's where she's going to be -which is part of the reason why I'd already pushed the bed to the window wall. I choose to lay on my side, to avoid the pressure on my stomach and to see my newborn better.
"...you're..so… Beautiful…" And she is.
I'm sore waking up, like I'd trained for three days straight; but even then, it'd never hurt so much just to get up, especially in such a… unusual place. I've also not had problems closing my legs before, which is probably the most odd thing this morning. Sweat starts to gather on my forehead with the small effort, the pounding in my head is definitely a headache, that I'm certain will only get worse. I want to flop down and sleep the day away with no issue to bug me, its tempting too, but when I look to my left and see the small scrunched up face beside me, I kind of know that isn't an option. So, I manage to force my legs onto putting my feet on the ground and standing up with a gasp of pain; then, I pee myself.
My entire body is twitching and sore, my arms don't want to move properly, and now I have to kneel down -on hard floorboards and crouch over in order to clean up my own -accidental- pee! Its the morning, and I only just woke up, I'm in pain, and dealing with my own messes isn't what I expected to do today! But, its not abnormal to do so, after all, I've been doing it almost all my life, besides, I have an infant now who will rely on me to do the exact same thing. The cloth that I'd used to clean her up last night is still on my nightstand, so I simply use that to wipe everything up, its large enough to do the job.
Of course the baby's still crying, probably hungry, I know I am. It hurts getting up, naturally, but happily its not as bad as I'd expected it to be, I do have to lean myself on my knee in order to get up, and I stand leaning over; but it could be worse. My vision is fogged, but its not like I can't see the sweet little baby laying wrapped as a present on my mattress. I kind of sway over to her, but I know to pick her up carefully to support her neck and cradle her to my chest. Putting her to my nipple is a little strange, I do have something of a boob but it isn't really there yet -not in comparison to the other girls at the academy anyway, Sakura-chan always got taunted over it by Ino-chan for some reason.- It also tingles and pinches when she latches on and starts sucking. Honestly the whole process has been weird, milk from my boobies, a baby from my girl parts, now all I need is for my hair to turn orange or something. I wonder if its the same for boys or if only girls have this kind of completely strange body changes when giving birth.
The cupboard seems to be farther then the training grounds and it takes me way too long just to open one and get a cup of ramen. I've been saving it for after I gave birth, a treat for myself, as it'd been such a long time since I'd had any. However, in looking at the dry contents of the ramen, with my namesake sitting on-top, I do realize I haven't named my own daughter. I don't think simply calling her a 'babe' would do, no matter how easy it is. So I glance down at her sweet little face, content in happily suckling, honestly, I didn't at all expect to find her so cute, theres even a joy in my chest that I can't explain -fuzzy, its fuzzy and warm; knowing she is mine.
But, I still have no idea what I should call her, nothing that I've heard commonly used really suits her, nevermind the fact that normal names are boring! she's my daughter, she will need something to really represent her, display her in happiness and show the whole world just how strong she can be. Though I really can't think of anything that would fit her, honestly I could name her after something in ramen as a weird family thing… but, no. It doesn't matter yet, at least I don't see why it would, I'm sure I'll think of something, I always do!
As it is, I do have a lot to do today. Regardless of the unexpected sore pains that still linger, and trouble walking intertwined therein. I still have to get dressed for one thing, probably take a bath -I don't know how I'm going to do that…-, then go out. Of course I don't particularly want to, but I have to so I can find somewhere to leave my daughter while I'm in the academy. Its not like I could take her with me, or leave her in the apartment, so I have to find somewhere. There's a test tomorrow that I can't miss, according to Iruka-sensei. And even so, before I go to class I have to pull some sort of prank. I've been gone for three days. I don't want them to have to check up on me, especially now.
The streets are usually calm, and today I find it to be no different. Though I do usually like running around and disturbing the peace, I will admit its kind of nice just to be walking along as a regular citizen. In my arms she squirms in her sleep, moaning out a complaint, I find myself smiling a little wider down at her; a small freedom in my chest, like a wall broken made me feel as if I'd never breathed properly before. Down the cobblestone streets with someone by me, baby or not, I know I'm not alone now, there is no silence to follow me, not really.
Its when I'm walking by an annoying vender that I spot a familiar face walking along the path with a small child in tow. The young librarian who I reacted badly to before. Straightening her son's jacket and smiling at him with stress pulling her mouth down. I kind of don't notice, but I end up in front of her with an awkward greeting and a hesitation. I don't understand other people well, and as Uzumaki Naruto I doubt I ever will, its just not my life too. As Kamaboko though, I do have the chance to speak to strangers without being pushed away or kicked down. Which I want to take advantage of, especially as she seems to be in the same situation as I am, and might know a whole basket of things I don't about raising a kid.
The unnerved sensation hasn't left me, around her or anyone else, and I don't get it at all. Still, I let the smile come automatically, I don't think the librarian has any intent to hurt me, actually, I don't think anybody on the street does -at least not as I look now. "Ohayo!" I try not to be too loud, my daughter is still sleeping, I think its best to keep her that way. The young woman twitches a little, I might've been loud without realizing it, though I am normally; its best way to get someone's attention when commonly ignored.
"Ohayo? You were the-" Her eyes fully stay on the bundle I carry, wide open and blinking in a surprise I wasn't expecting to see. "-the woman, I didn't realize you were actually pregnant- they are yours right?" Isn't that obvious?
"Well, yeah?" She smiles, but its quick and, from what I know, appears dishonest.
"Sorry, I'm just a little shocked, you look.. What, fourteen? A bit young to have a babe." Standing, she faces me. I am young, even as Himitsu, I had no choice there, I couldn't be a full-fledged adult when physically I'm not. Still her mentioning it so brazenly makes me so nervous. "Not that I can judge! After all, I had my son when I was only a year older then you so.. it'd be unfair." I find myself almost laughing at her admittance, I haven't been able to tell she is near my age, yet its rather obvious speaking to her now. Her son grasps her hand, she smiles down at him as he stares curiously at my daughter. I can comprehend his confusion, it'd probably be a strange sight to a kid his age, he is hardly a toddler.
"What's their name?" I really do need to come up with something soon, its likely I'll get similar questions after all.
"I don't have one yet, still thinking about it. I want it to really suit her ya' know?" Honestly, its a bright topic, speaking of my daughter sends a giddy feeling through me. "Oh yeah! Do you know where I could leave her when I go to work?" She pauses a second.
Her surprise is plain and makes me nervous in answering. "Are you a shinobi?" I can't answer that truthfully, however, it does at least make me realize I do need a type of cover.
"Mmhmm, and I don't know anyone who could watch her, ya know?" No question was asked she didn't ask about the father or family or anything. I guess that is part of being a shinobi, losing family, but it hurts me just to think of it as an assumption. I think only because it'd be nice to imagine, but I know its stupid anyway.
A finger pult to her mouth in thought, I don't understand what she's wondering honestly, she must have somewhere to bring her own son. Still she looks to me with a kindness that I've rarely ever seen.
"Could a shinobi take their child to the Green Leaf Daycare?"
"Why couldn't they?" It doesn't make sense to me. She silently laughs as she picks up her son who's tugging at her pant leg for attention.
"Ah well, I don't really understand shinobi law, its always confused me." I accept her apology with a smile, all the while wondering what a daycare is. Its nothing I can remember; but if its what it sounds like then it should be perfect! "You should be able to apply easily, and unlike some others in the village there is a nursery section, though I think she-" The woman nodded to my daughter in indication. "-might be a bit too young they may not accept you, and being seperated for too long from their parents isn't a very good idea for a newborn." I had thought about it, but the opinion isn't really there, I have no choice. The librarian sighs, in what I think to be thought this time. "Well, you'll need only her birth certificate to register with them."
I don't have one. As I never went to the hospital to give birth.
"Sorry…" Her eyes peer at me a moment and she stares waiting for me to answer something, leaving her sentence open. But, what she wants me to answer I have no idea, she didn't ask or say anything, just trailed off like she was asking a question. "...I didn't get your name?"
"Oh! Ah sorry! Completely forgot- I'm Himitsu Kamaboko!" I almost dropped my daughter from the a stupid and automatic fist bump nowhere. Takes me a second to realize- "I didn't get yours either."
"Thats a very.. Odd name. I'm Niko Wakaba. Nice to meet you Himitsu-san, but I'm afraid I have to get going and prepare lunch for my son, busy-busy! As they say. Good luck." This time she grins at me as her son waves over her shoulder in her leaving.
Now I need to know how to get a proper birth certificate when I never got one myself.