Hi everyone. First of all, I would like to apologize for my lengthy absence. I certainly had not expected to spend two years away from writing; however, I have experienced a whirlwind of family events, largely rotating around a family member with cancer, another who had surgery, as well as another whose death seemed much too soon. Life takes you for the craziest rides some times, and I can say that it has only recently given me back the saddle. This free time is the direct result of the free time I suddenly have at my disposal. The current epidemic at hand made sure of that.
Just to further throw a wrench in my plans, by the time I felt ready to write again, I could not remember my login information. I turned my entire room upside down before realizing the thing you are searching for is often in the first place you looked, in a less copious form. Needless to say, I am back now.
I am sorry for the long wait. Thank you to everyone who has waited for an update thus far. I need you to know that it is the reviews that some of you left behind that gave me the push to come back. Had it not been for you guys, I would not be writing this today. Thank you all.
One important note about this story: Upon rereading the first chapter, I plan to go back to it sometime later and rewrite it. I am not ashamed of my past work, as it has led me to the growth I am at now; however, I cannot in good faith leave it as is. Two years is a long time, and I would like to think that my writing has changed drastically. I will be sure to let you know once I have rewritten it, but that does not mean that you will have to go back and reread it. I hope to make the writing more clear, but the concept will be the same regardless.
Lastly, as always, any notes of improvement are always appreciated. I am always learning, and recognize that I still have a lot of room for growth. Feel free to drop constructive criticism. Though I have to say, I am still human, and am generally more receptive to criticism that is given to me in a kind manner as opposed to tearing me down.
Now on to the the good stuff:
I do not own Teen Titans or any of its characters.
"We dream of being loved like gold but we settle for someone who loves us like silver and we wonder why we tarnish" - Ellen Everett
As the crickets began their nightly chorus of sound, an owl not too far along the path joined in with its own wise retorts to the persistent green critters. Single drops of water ran down a shingle on a nearby building, a reminder of the storm that had only recently ceased. It seemed as if every resident of Jump City had decided to spend the night in, avoiding the wet streets as if the concrete planned on drowning anyone who dared to roam about.
Cursing, Red X stomped his way through the water, wondering why the gutters were stagnant in doing their job. His attention kept flickering between avoiding stray tree branches gliding along Jump City's own temporary river Nile and tracking the redhead moving from rooftop to rooftop. He obviously was not going on his heist tonight as planned.
He had been following the girl for about an hour now, and he had come no closer to understanding what ailed her. Her inability to properly fly, a testament to her sadness, especially stood out the moment she began walking over the rooftops, mustering what little energy she had to jump over from edge to edge.
As Red maneuvered his way around another buoyant branch, he stopped short once he saw the Titaness hang her feet over the roof of an apartment building that overlooked a vast park. Spotting a ladder on the other side of the building, he began his ascension, taking care to blend into the shadows and make as little noise as possible. Just as his head popped over the top of the building, he misplaced his hand on loose brick, and felt his stomach drop as small crumbles of rock fell below him.
Expecting to face a starbolt, Red was surprised when the girl took no notice of the noise. Luckily for him, just as the rock sediments met the ground, some crickets had gotten into it with an owl, and the screeches overwhelmed all other noise. That is until, suddenly, sobs escaped the redhead, as she put her head in her hands and clenched forward.
The screeching stopped, instead replaced with a few sympathetic hoots before the owl spread its wings and flew away. Unsure what to do, Red contemplated revealing himself and risking her anger or not doing so, and leaving her in this desolate state without help. He considered the fact that any emotion would be better than what he saw now, that he would take her anger over her sadness any day. Still, he hesitated. Once her skinny frame, racked with sobs, began shaking; however, Red could not stop his body from climbing over the ledge and walking towards her.
In no time at all, he was standing right behind her. He reached a hand forward, and then retracted it, suddenly unsure of himself once more. Opting to offer her some words of comfort, he said the first thing that came to mind,
"Lovely weather we are having, huh cutie.?"
Her breath hitched, and she quickly looked behind her with questioning eyes. Her green orbs looked at his mask so intently, that for a moment, he thought that he had forgot to put it on. The atmosphere was so silent that one could hear a pin drop. Even the damn crickets had stopped chirping.
Stupid. Why would I mention the weather? How is that the first thing I would think to say to her? Stupid, stupid, stupid…
He had expected her to turn to fury, hand a-blazing and eyes glowing. He thought that she might even suddenly regain her flight ability, just to be able to turn him in to her teammates. Heck, he wondered why her hand had not immediately gone to her communicator, itching to tell Boy Wonder that she had found the masked thief.
What he did not expect? The hint of a smile that escaped her. He definitely thought that anything else would happen except that. More surprisingly, she turned back around to gaze upon the park once more.
Suddenly, like a theatre come back to life, the crickets began chirping away and a small animal, perhaps a hedgehog or something of the like, came out of a bush looking for a late night snack.
"I suppose it is the nice, yes. Maybe not the storm when it is by the self, but the animal life that comes back out the after. Yes. That is the nice."
Silence followed from Red, as he registered the fact that he did not have to go on the defensive. Not only that, but that this goddess before him was actually speaking to him.
He slowly sat down beside her, half expecting her cordiality to be some kind of trick. That any minute from now, her teammates would arrive, and he would have to use the last of his current Xenothium store in order to make a quick escape.
The silence continued for a few minutes, as both figures looked ahead at the creatures of the night before them.
She spoke again, her voice already beginning to once more reflect her weaker state, "You are… the drenched, yes?"
He turned his head towards her, not quite understanding the purpose behind the question.
"I mean…" She continued, "we seem to be the only two that are the outside tonight. Other than the cute park residents of course." she stated as she pointed to a bird's nest in a tree nearby.
Understanding better now, he nodded in affirmation. The words he spoke next, shocked him as much as they did her:
"Perhaps while the storm coaxed others to take shelters with their families, it drew us two lonely people out. For what purpose? I can't say."
"To find the each other!" Starfire suddenly proclaimed. She added, "If this storm, as you the say, wanted two lonely people out at the same time, then it wants them to be the together!"
Red couldn't help how his heart began beating faster at this statement. He knew that she did not mean anything romantic by it. But still, beneath his mask, he felt himself blushing at her theory.
She smiled at him, not elaborating any further, and once more turned back to the animals before her. Red took this time to take in her features. Her normally strong, confident frame was replaced by a slight slump in her shoulders. Her eyes were red and puffy from the tears that she kept on expending multiple times on this night. Worst of all, her usual resilient, bright green orbs looked hopeless, despite the slight happiness that watching the park creatures gave her.
Red didn't like this look. Not at all. Itching to know what caused it, he asked, "What has got you feeling lonely tonight?"
The only thing he got in response was a slight pout in her lip.
He tried again, "Come on, tell me the Boy Wonder did not mess something up."
She flinched.
"Ah. I see." He had pushed a button. Red kept going, "Surely it isn't anything too bad. Even that twat wouldn't mess up a good thing with someone as precious as you."
Her eyes welled up with tears once more, and she turned her head completely away from him, ashamed at being so open with a known criminal. He felt his heart well up in anger. What did that idiot Robin do to leave her in this state?
"Hey now, it's ok. You can- you can trust me Starfire." Saying her name for the first time that night out loud, he loved how it sounded. The way a friend might call out to her, rather than a selfish lowlife always looking for a thrill. He put his thumb under her chin and slowly turned her face back towards him.
Her tears came back at full force this time, rocking her entire body. Not knowing what else to do, Red rubbed soothing circles on her back, coaxing her to tell him what is wrong. Unexpectedly, she threw her arms around him in a hug, but he wasn't complaining. She clearly needed the human contact, someone to tell her that she would be ok. In fact, Red was willing to bet if it had not been for her current vulnerability, if it had not been for her need for touch, she would have tried to bring him back to her team. Her vulnerability may have been what drew him out in the first place, but it was that same vulnerability that rendered her unable to fight Red X. In a sense, it saved them both from a fight tonight.
She began recounting her break up with Robin, or rather, a halt in their plans to be a couple, since all they shared before Robin turned her down was a kiss in Japan. They could not exactly break up if they were never truly a couple to begin with.
"That's" she hiccuped, "That's what he the does. He gives me the hope and then tears it the down. Why am I not the good enough? Am I not the pretty? Do I not speak the English well enough? I learned it from kissing him the first time!"
Confused by her last point, Red found it to be a good point to interject, "Hey, hey no you are worth it. You are beautiful and have the biggest heart out of anyone I have ever met. I know that we don't actually know each other well, but it feels like I've known you forever. Or at least, I feel like I have known you long enough to know you are absolutely good enough for any guy lucky enough to have won your heart, and if he does not see that, then he is a damned fool."
Her eyes widened in shock, and her breathing slowly began to even. She then stated, "I just do not know what to do. How to show Robin that we can be the happy together."
"Starfire.." Red began again, "If he thought that you were good enough, he would easily choose you over the city. Or maybe it has to do more with him than you know. Maybe he thinks he is the one that is not the one good enough to defend Jump City and your heart at the same time. Regardless of his reasoning, you should not waste your time for too long on someone who does not want, or rather prioritize, being with you. You deserve more. You're a star. Please do not set yourself on fire trying to keep someone else warm."
By now her tears had stopped, and she sat there mulling over what to say. Finally, she turned to him, opening her mouth, and then:
"STARFIRE!" came the booming voice of Cyborg. "STARFIRE ARE YOU AROUND HERE? STARFIRE PLEASE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME ANSWER. WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL NIGHT"
"SHUT UP, WILL YA?!" came the voice of a disgruntled Jump City senior citizen, obviously upset at losing sleep.
"YOU SHUT UP YOU WITHERED OLD BAGPIPE! I HAVE TO FIND MY FRIEND!"
"Cyborg! Maybe you ugh… you know.. should not yell at citizens" muttered Beast Boy walking alongside his best friend.
Amused by their antics, Starfire stood up. She took one last glance at Red X, and whispered a quick, "thank you" before conjuring up enough happy emotion to get her to the ground in front of her friends. It seemed she wouldn't be turning in the masked thief tonight.
"STARFIRE! WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU. WE HAD TO REGROUP AFTER LOOKING FOR SOME TIME, BUT WE CAME OUT AGAIN AND HERE YOU ARE!" Cyborg hollered.
"I know my friend. I am the sorr- oomph" could be heard as Cyborg engulfed her in a hug.
"We know star, it's ok. We are just glad that you are ok." Cyborg grinned, happy to see his friend safe.
Beast Boy's communicator went off, "Yeah, we found her! She's ok! We're headed back now."
Red X watched from the shadows as Starfire's friends called out to her, and he recalls what it felt like, if only for a moment, to be able to say her name like he too was her friend and not a criminal. In another life, he thought, he could be her friend.
"In another life, I could love you" - Jamie McGuire
Thank you again for reading, especially those who have been holding out for an update since 2018. You guys are truly stars!