FLYING FOR THE FIRST TIME
Irina stared at her painted toenails, standing in her father's solar, as she kept hearing his berating that morning. He was yelling at her in High Valyrian. Every time emotions clouded his judgements, he would switch to his native tongue and recently, almost every day, he used High Valyrian on her. It had been two years since Aegon married her sisters, and two and half years since her mother became a bird.
When her mother was alive, Irina used to share her dream with Mother about how she wished to ride her dragon, same as Rhaenys, or how she would challenge Aegon in a sword fight like Visenya, on reaching her ninth name day. Her mother would offer a warm bright smile in response, while brushing her hair, pouring encouragement words of how Irina would best both the girls. But those were simple lies a mother would often concoct to make a child happy, no matter how big the ugly fat truth was standing before them.
With time, her ugly fat truth made literal sense with her appearance.
"Five governess, Irina. I have replaced five for you. But there is no change in you." Lord Aerion yelled.
Ever since her failure as a noble lady flashed before her father's eyes, which was exactly during that awful dance with Aegon, her father took great efforts to blend her into the society. Not only did he bring governesses expertise in dance, singing and poetry from Pentos, he also forced her to do physical activities with the master-at-arms, Ser Quenton Qoherys, much to the man's dislike, who only wanted to train warriors, not fat ladies.
"Do you understand what position you are putting me in?" Her father screamed and slammed the wooden table with his fists, making her flinch. He came close to her, with glaring dark eyes and quivering lips. "Tell me you understand what this means." He roared.
"I understand." She whimpered, wanting to run away to the gardens.
"What? What do you understand?"
She blinked away the tears and bit her lips hard not to let out sound. "No one will want to marry me. I will grow old with you and die alone by getting eaten by the dragons."
Her father let out a sigh with sadness, and pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. "Come here, sweetling." He locked her arms. "Walk with me to your Old Gods."
And they went to the white-barked tree with red heart leaves, far away in the garden, where her mother had planted it as a sapling when she arrived Dragonstone, to worship her Gods. Her father had more snow coloured hair replaced for silver-gold mane within the span of two years. He appeared much older ever since her mother had passed away. He stared at the tree in curiosity and turned to her.
"This was a seedling, when your mother and I got married before it. She said, the Old Gods have eyes to watch everything through this tree." He closed his eyes, savouring that memory. "I can still remember her in that ivory silk, shaded with a twist of crystal blue when we took our vows. I have never seen a stunning woman as your mother."
Irina wondered how much of it was exaggeration on his part. Her mother was beautiful, but she wouldn't match up to the Targaryen beauty and her father's first wife was half Targaryen and half Velaryon, which made an exquisite combination. Even at this age, her father had a striking feature that so many women in the court often fawned over.
"You say, she became a bird. And I trust your words, no matter what others think of you. Your blood and even Agnes blood has magic. But, do you know, your mother never once came to my hand? Do you think she forgot me?" He asked in a hollow voice.
"No... She isn't... Its just, her soul is reducing day by day into... a bird." Irina replied, unable to believe she came to accept it so easily. In the two years, the bird had changed too.
"Be that as it may. If I let you go on like this, your mother will peck my eyes out. You need to change... and work hard for it. That is your noble duty to our house." He said. "Visenya took a sword in her hand as a three-year-old babe. Rhaenys made the whole court laugh with her kind words and japes, even as a four-year-old babe. And you are nine-year-old, yet I haven't seen anything bright in you."
"I can speak with birds and-"
"You will stop doing that from today. Your mother died and if she is in that bird, then I curse her Gods for letting her linger in that soulless creature. No one respects you in this castle because of it. Everyone sees you as a-" Before he spilled the words, she finished it.
"-a Simpleton."
"A Simpleton. Yes... They tell that and more. How do you expect me to find a nobleman to marry a simple-minded girl? You are neither Rhaenys nor Visenya. I don't even know what to make out of you. And a noble woman must learn to appear lovely, not like this." His nose flared. "If your mother had some inkling blood of nobility, then you would have-"
Before he finished, she was crying with loud sobs. Her bird came then, with a cackling sound, and flew right in front of her father's face, pecking him with its beak.
"You come to me, now... woman?" He screamed. "Caring only for your blood... even after death. Did you even love me? Why did you come all the way from some cold north, if you have to leave me this early?" Her father cried, holding his head.
As her father yelled at the bird in anger, waving his hand in air, she ran to her chamber. Collapsing on a corner of the wall, she sobbed, wishing to be better, so her father would be proud of her as the other children of him. Even Orys had gained name and valor by leading men to fight off the last Tyroshi fleet that landed near Driftmark.
Her father was right in his concern, though. His vassals refused to take her as a cup-bearer, stating invalid reasons. None of the lords sent their daughter to be a companion to her. They only wanted to admit their girls to Rhaenys's company. She was literally alone, save for the company of her bird. The loneliness made her to consume more sweets, though. What once felt as taste to tongue now filled some emptiness in her heart. No amount of horse-riding was able to change her size.
Irina stared at her crystal blue dragon egg on the wooden basket and wondered if turning it into dragon would make someone to appreciate her. The egg colour was the same as her eyes. Crystal blue with snow flecks, and she knew this was meant to be hers... only hers.
But why wouldn't it hatch?
Scooping it in her hand, she briskly strode through the gardens. If anyone could help her give some answers, then it would be Visenya. No... Her big sister would grind her teeth and shut the door on Irina's face, as she did all the other days ever since her wedding ceremony, when Irina used to pick flowers from garden to present. Irina thought her sister actually had a fondness to the flowers. But that didn't mean there was any fondness to Irina herself.
Still, with love, Irina would knock Visenya's door in the morning, and lay a bunch of flowers with different colours of tulips, roses, daisies and lilies by her door and run away. And when she would watch it from around the corner of the chambers, Visenya would silently pick the flowers and take it to her chamber, making sure no one ever saw it. It made Irina happy.
Rhaenys and Aegon were a different tale altogether. Most of the time, they both were in each other arms kissing each other and after learning what the hounds do in a kennel during breeding, Irina cringed seeing them. Not that either of them cared for Irina. But this matter of dragon egg wouldn't be tried with either Aegon or Rhaenys. Only Visenya could help, and if her big sister at least tried to take notice of the offered flowers... maybe Irina had a chance, for only Visenya knew dark magic.
After reconsidering so long, Irina tried to knock the secret chamber that Visenya would use to dabble in dark arts. It was a common gossip in court that the only remaining Valyrian to use such powerful sorcery was Visenya. Hoping her sister would make the egg hatch, Irina tried knock the door, but it opened with a screech.
The chamber was glum with darkness surrounding. Potions and roots clung from the ceiling and the windows. If Irina had any doubt of her sister's prowess, it was all muted in her head, as she started to fear for safety. Wearily, when she took a few steps, she heard a man's voice from inside.
"Leave him..." He said. "For me, Visenya. I don't care what your lord father says. You have a dragon, and I have a fleet. If it comes to war..."
"War?... Are you a fool, Daemon? This is my family and you would want me to leave my husband?" Visenya screamed.
"Are you sure you want to call him your husband? He is your little brother, Visenya. And he seems interested only in his little sister."
"That doesn't concern me. He can have his pleasures as he wishes. I've had my pleasures with you, before my wedding." Visenya said in an even tone.
"Six years, Visenya. We had been together for six years and you didn't even fight for us, with your father or let me fight for your hand." Daemon sighed. Irina realized she shouldn't be hearing to their conversation. This was that Valeryon lord that both Aegon and Visenya were close with ever since children. "My father bids me to marry one of the petty lords' daughter... Please... Consider it. To be away with you, my heart-"
"Stop your nonsense, Daemon. You very well know how much I hate pretty words. Go... Go and marry that lordling's daughter and have fat babies." Even when those words came out of Visenya, Irina knew there was some sadness laced in it. Her sister must have really loved that lord to have pain in her voice.
Irina proceeded to walk back to the door before spoiling their time, and as she opened the door, the screech was so loud than what it was before. Biting her tongue when she turned, Irina saw four purple eyes burn her back and her hands started shivering.
"What is that thing...?" Daemon questioned. When Irina glanced at her egg, she momentarily thought of answering, but soon she realized he was calling her a thing, not the egg.
"What the hell are you doing here? These are my chambers... And how did you know about this place?" Visenya shrieked and Irina had to bite her lips to not cry seeing her sister's dark eyes. Her sister was too scary.
"I- Sister.." Irina gave a wry cry. "You are scaring me..."
"Sister?... This thing?..." Daemon questioned with a smirk on his lips. "Oh... Is this the sister you said the other day? The bastard sister of yours. Aye... She really is thick..." The man with silver hair famous for even Velaryons measured her stature.
"Stop it, Daemon. She listened to all our conversations. If it goes to my father's ears-"
"I swear, I heard nothing." Irina protested feeling already defeated of yet again called a bastard even by Visenya and her former lover. "Let me take leave... I am sorry for interrupting you both." Instantly she swirled to move, but her legs froze in the same place and she was not understanding how could that happen.
"Slitting your throat will be a second's work for me." Visenya warned. "Tell me, what you heard and why you came here."
In fear, she admitted everything, but her sister only half-believed her words. "I promise... All I wanted was to hatch the egg. I thought you could help me... so I can become a dragon-rider like you."
Visenya glanced the egg in her hand and shook her head. "Listen to me, you foolish creature... Don't come across my path, else the next time, you will become the price for my magic. Do you understand?"
Irina nodded, and the next second her legs moved. Running as fast as she could in her plump form, with yet another failure in hand in the form of egg, she surrendered back to her old life where the governess would torture her to learn the womanly arts and the maester would force her to read the jumbled letters, and the haughty master-at-arms would scream at her for being slow.
Two more years passed, and she had seen eleven name days. Her egg had seen eight name days since it was presented to her. She had grown too, in so many ways. Yet her fatness hadn't gone. After all those lessons with the master-at-arms, she started getting better at riding the horse on her own, the only mount she was sure to have. Although she tried hard to stop munching on the sweets, there was not any significant change in her appearance.
But none of those mattered, as she jumped to sit next to her brother, Orys, in the Great Hall. Irina fluttered her eyelids, staring at his bearded face, and he roared a laugh in response.
"Are you blushing for me, little sister?" Orys asked, and she smiled even wider.
In her years of living in the castle, Irina learned Orys's nature of birth, even better. He was the son of one of the petty lords and a Baratheon woman, but... he came from her father's seed. Initially, she quite didn't understand the meaning of it. But the maester taught about the lord's right to claim first night to any of his vassals, and how, many Targaryen lords continued to do that for giving healthy children to their leal small folks.
It seemed her father, Aerion, was trying to make healthy babes in his Kingdom, by laying with women on their first night, and as a result of that, Orys came to the world. Having given birth to another man's child, the husband had kicked and killed Orys's mother. As the sole surviving heir to the lands owned by the petty house Baratheon, her brother survived and thrived, trained and practiced with Aegon in the courtyard, travelled and learned. He was an inspiration, truly, eventhough her father, Aerion, was such an arse to do that poor vassals.
Because of all these complications, although none of her siblings acknowledged and called Orys as their brother, even Aegon, who was constantly accompanied by Orys, she was given that privilege. And she called him only when no one was around them both.
"Do I look appeasing, Orys?" She asked with a tint of red on her cheeks.
"Appeasing...? Hells... I would eat your fluffy cheeks, if I could. You are so tempting, sister."
Irina scoffed, folding her hands in front of her chest. "That was not how I meant." Orys took notice of her subtle difference in demeanor and he became silent for a moment. But instantly he let out a big thunder of laugh. "Are you trying to flirt with me?"
Does he have to be boisterously loud and make me awkwardly embarrassed?
"Why shouldn't I?" Irina raised her chin with pride. "You are my brother and perhaps, you can ask my hand to father, one day. We both could marry like how Aegon married Rhaenys and Visenya."
Orys listened calmly, but spoke no words for a long while. "That is so sweet of you, little sister. But you will get a better man than me. You aren't a bastard born like me. And even if I ask your father, he will reject my proposal." Irina was absolutely unhappy with that answer.
"But, you know what..." He lifted her chin with his thick finger. "There is always a special place for you, in my heart." With a smile, he offered a metal box so big that her hands were so full. "Isn't this your eleventh name day?"
Irina nodded, keenly interested in only opening the bejeweled box that should have been bought from Pentos or Lys. Her eyes gauged, staring at the jewels inside of it. "Are these for me, brother?" She lifted a long necklace studded with rubies and a thick blue sapphire as a pendant. It was stunning. She wore it around her neck and touched the soft, smooth silk that lied beneath in the box. "They are so beautiful. I haven't had a cloth that would melt into my skin like this."
"Aye... The shops in Lys are much different and exquisite... You should have been there to see it..."
She threw her arms around his neck and held him tight. While parting, she gave a kiss to his bearded cheek. "Take me... I want to visit those places too... Lys, Pentos... all the free cities. Please..."
Orys gave a pat on her head and stood up. "Aegon could take you in two days, sister. He has a dragon, and he took me in it, to have a meeting with those rulers. Ask him... I don't see any reason why he should deny you. Though, I didn't like that bloody creature or riding while clinging to Aegon's back and screaming in air. Never again will I be taking such a dreadful ride. My hands will row any boat to cross the sea, not a dragon again."
Irina knew Orys was not interested in dragons, but she didn't expect he would feel so distant, considering he had the Targaryen blood. She could not accept he would describe his first dragon ride in such a distaste. Yet, she wished Aegon offered her at least once to go for a ride.
"They will not take me, Orys. But thanks for remembering me and buying these beautiful presents." She offered a smile, and they both spent the rest of the day swimming and running by the shore. Every time he visited DragonStone, she was in bliss to play with him. He even taught her to catch fishes in ponds. But the happiness would end sooner, when he would bid her leave.
On one such day, she stared at Aegon who was swinging his sword against Visenya, and they both were clad in their black armour, cutting blow after blow. Everything about Visenya remained the same and eventhough Irina was frightened of her sister's dark arts, she still laid fresh flowers every day by Visenya's door. It almost became a habit. Aegon had grown too, and now he was in his eighteenth year, two years younger than Visenya. They both were almost equal in strength, having trained in arms since a babe and competed against one another like dragons dancing in air.
Even when there was a shadow of a past relationship with Daemon Valeryon hindering their married life, Irina knew they respected each other.
Only, she wished they would involve her too. In something... Not needed to be in a great sword fight or singing songs or telling tales or taking a ride to free cities. A simple smile would have made her more happy. Ignoring all the sadness, she tried to find happiness when the newborn pups in kennel ran towards her upon reaching the steel cage. Adorable little things licked her and jumped on her that she rolled in mud, unable to control the laughter.
"Stop..." She said through giggles, and all the three pups stopped moving suddenly, as though they could understand her words. "Can you understand me?" She questioned with surprised big doe eyes, and they raised their heads at once. "Do you want to go for a walk?" The pups formed a line in an order, and let her guide them with its loosened chains.
When the bird came back to her shoulder, she screamed. "Mother, see what I am capable of... I can make them listen... like you." The bird riffled its feathers with its beaks and rested its head against her cheek.
She walked with them, talked with them and took them to her chamber to sleep with them. The pups were so loyal, lovely, and they listened to every word she uttered. She thought of naming the three pups as Aegon, Rhaenys and Visenya, in memory of her siblings who never spent a moment with her, but she knew they would unleash the dragons upon to burn her. So she named the pups as Bale for Balerion, Hager for Vhagar and Merry for Meraxes. Inwardly, she giggled knowing she owned three great dragons of her siblings'.
And, with time, slowly, she didn't know how or when, all the hounds in the kennel howled and barked, if she chanced to walk by them. This was the greatest time of her life. Even with none of her siblings caring for her, and her mother in the bird, and her father scolding her, she loved these precious times with birds, dogs and horses. Perhaps, because they were the only companions for her. Still, they were there for Irina when none of her family was.
After finishing her horrible singing lesson with Syra, she jumped and ran, singing that last sad song about a Prince of Pentos, whose throat was cut after crops failed. As days grew, her interest in seeing the knights and warriors fight in the courtyard peaked more and more. Every day, she would stand by the porch and watch the handsome men sweating through their armours.
As usual when Irina tried to go by the porch, giggles and laughter of so many women erupted from the Great Hall and curiosity diverted her attention to take a look at what was happening.
Terry Celtiger of Claw Isle, a lady-in-waiting to Rhaenys, was making her sister and all the other ladies jape and laugh aloud, while they were having a cup of tea around the dragon ornate round table. Irina wished to join them too and participate in their follies.
Do they speak about boys and songs too?
When she took a few steps forward, Terry raised her hand in air and said, "Let me imitate a better version of her..." The tallest girl rose from the hardwood furniture and turned her head towards the shoulder. "Hey, all! Look at my ugly bird who is as ugly as me... This is my dead mother, and she lives in a bird as a ghost. She bathes me, she feeds me and still chides me when I wet the bed..."
Irina's face shrunk when everyone in the table roared a laughter. This is not fair... I never said any such thing. And I don't wet my bed. How could they do this?
"Also, I am a stupid simpleton who can't dance and I sing so terribly, that everyone run the other side of where I walk... And I stink of dog shit... because of which only dogs come to my bed..." Terry said jogging and running across the table like a real simpleton. Irina was none of what that stupid girl said, but it seemed nothing mattered when Rhaenys and everyone else had their fun mocking Irina.
These girls were so mean, and Irina couldn't stand there another second. She turned to leave the Hall, but Terry continued.
"Also, do you know I let the dogs fuck me... Because I am a-"
Everyone gave a chorus response in unison, and even her sister was among them. "Bitch..."
"A bitch born from another bitch..."
Before Terry finished her words, Irina jumped on that tall towering girl, shoving her to the floor and gave tight slap across her cheek. "How dare you call my lady mother, with that word? I will rip your tongue out..." She screamed and gripped her hands around Terry's throat, and all the girls shrieked and splattered across the Hall, witnessing the ordeal.
Only Rhaenys was screaming. "You stupid, silly girl... Stop that non-sense. She is-"
Grinding her teeth, Irina glared at Rhaenys in fury, making even her sister go silent, as her crystal blue beady eyes twitched in agony and anger. Suddenly, someone lifted her in the air holding her waist and stopped her from killing that Celtigar girl. Irina fought so hard, beating and kicking that person holding her, to let her kill Terry or atleast let her pluck one of the eyes out of the girl.
"Drop me... Leave... She shouldn't live to see another day. Let go off me." Her hands clawed at the wounded strong arms around her waist, but the grip was made of an iron fist that she couldn't crawl out of it.
"Stop fighting, Irina... Stop it..." Aegon screamed, moving his hand towards her neck and he tightened his elbow around her neck to choke her. But she couldn't stop the fury in her heart, and she had to vent it out. She kicked his shin so hard in an attempt to let herself free. He gasped at that moment, but his elbow tightened around her neck so hard that she gave up fighting and only tears fell like a stream of river on her freckled cheeks. "Calm down, sister... Relax..." He brought his lips close to her ear and said in an even soothing sound, while rubbing his nose on her flaring cheeks. The hot air from his breath steamed her skin, when he kept telling, "Relax... Simmer down..."
Finally, when her eyes clouded with tears and she stopped struggling, Aegon relaxed his hand and she slid out of Aegon's arms and stared at the Celtigar girl who was sweeping her tears from her red cheeks, which had Irina's five finger marks on it. Irina didn't regret awarding it to that girl. After all those classes, perhaps Ser Quenton's training didn't go useless. Aegon yelled at all the girls and Rhaenys for such a behaviour. Unable to see any of them, even Aegon, she ran to the heart tree.
She couldn't stop the fuming rage, though. It was bubbling like the volcanoes of Dragonmont.
Kneeling in front her Gods, with madness, she howled so loud, till her heart felt at ease and her throat dried. All the sadness of living beneath the shadows of her siblings, losing her mother were too much to contain for so many years. And when it bursted out, all the birds in the sky chirped and shrilled, like it had done when her Lady Agnes passed away and she was flying... seeing the world from the eyes of an eagle.
The air tasted so sweet... for the first time when she flew in a bird. At last, Irina flew...
Well... Thats for the second chapter. Comment and let me know what you liked and didn't like.