A/N:

CONTENT WARNING* mentions of suicide—no action, just mention. Please read at your own risk, and if you're struggling with mental illness and are contemplating, take this as a sign and please call the Suicide National Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

MOVING ON...THANK YOU all so much for the follows, likes, and reviews! It warms my heart to know that people are enjoying my writing!

Shoutout again to LittleDarlingDahlia, by irl bestie and beta, love you girl! Go read her stories, they're incredible—and I'm not just saying that because she's my soul sister.

Also, the title is a Halsey song and I clearly am not her, so props to her for the title.

Okay, on to the story

Chapter Two:

Charlie's POV

One long night turned into several. A week had passed and all Bella did was lie in bed. She refused to eat, and barely drank anything. I had to force-feed her broth and water, anything to keep her from starving. She only got up once a day to drag herself to the bathroom to do her business. She didn't shower, or show any interest in personal hygiene.

In only a week, she had dropped about a dozen pounds—she was only about 100 pounds before this depressive episode, and her body was resorting to consuming her minute stores of fat.

A few more days of this, and I was going to take her to the hospital. It was becoming too much to handle on my own. I didn't have any family to help support me, and as chief of police, I couldn't stay home. I had to leave and go to work each day, and spend my lunch breaks at home, to keep an eye on her.

I even tried calling Renee for help, but she never answered the phone or returned my calls. Typical Renee--too wrapped up in herself and what's going on in her own life to bother with anyone else.

I was nearing my wits end, and I felt like a failure.

Plopping down onto my worn armchair, I rested my head in my hands, and did all I could to keep the tears from falling. I had to stay strong for Bella, she needed me, but I just didn't know what else to do with her.

I pulled out my phone and called Billy to ask about any sort of native remedies he could possibly have. Maybe they had a Shaman or a healer who could come and fix Bella?

Was that racist?

—

Jacob's POV

Patrol was over. I traded places with baby Clearwater and got dressed, trying not to think about Bella and failing. I sighed in defeat, and began the short walk back to my house. I kicked a rock along the path I was walking, watching it roll across the worn dirt path of the trail home.

The week had been hard to say the least. I didn't leave the house other than to go to school or go on patrol. I avoided the pack like the plague, not wanting to share what I was thinking or feeling. I ended up asking Sam for an Alpha Order to keep myself from sharing anything about the situation with my packmates.

I wasn't sure how much more time to give her. I hadn't heard any news about her, and she sure as hell wasn't going to come back to the Res, not after I essentially told her to fuck off. I didn't want to hurt her worse than I already had before Fuckward decided to go and leave her, along with the rest of his family.

I growled under my breath as I climbed the steps of my front porch and pushed open the door. I kicked off my shoes next to the front door, and stomped my way to the kitchen to grab some food to take back to my room. Dad was in the kitchen, sitting in his chair and holding the phone to his ear.

"Okay, Charlie...I'm as lost as you are, but I'll see if I can get a healer to come and try to help," my ears perked up at the mention of Charlie, but my heart sank when a healer was mentioned. Bella must still be bad off. My heart sank, and my wolf howled under my skin.

Dad hung up the phone, and gave me a sad, knowing look. I had told him everything Sam had said about Bella and I potentially being mates, and he knew the pain this situation caused me.

"I take it you heard the last part of that conversation," I nodded at him, and he continued, "she's not eating, barely drinking anything. She needs you, Jake. Imprint or not, you're all she has. Make amends."

I gave him a sharp nod, grabbed the keys to the Rabbit, and slipped on my shoes before running back out the front door.

—

Bella's POV

"Edward, wait, please come back!" I followed his retreating form through the trees, but my efforts were futile. He was moving so fast he was just a blur, and my human senses couldn't keep up. "Please don't leave me!"

I was hopelessly lost, but I could still hear his voice in the vastness of the woods, so I kept going, tripping and falling among the sticks and tree stumps, and low-hanging branches. Thorns sliced through my skin, and my blood spilled to the floor as I cried out in pain.

I slumped down to the cold, damp earth, wrapping my arms around myself as I sobbed out my pain and misery. Suddenly there was a snarl behind me. I turned my head and there I saw Laurent.

Dread joined the party of fear, pain, and anguish in my gut.

"Victoria is the one who wants you," he hissed, red eyes slowly dissolving into black, "but you smell so sweet, I'm going to have you for myself." I whimpered, and felt warm wetness seep through the front of my jeans—I pissed myself like a scared three year old. Hot tears of fear and shame flooded down my cheeks as he laughed, and poised himself to strike.

I woke up screaming.

—

Charlie's POV

I sighed as I finished off my second can of beer, trying my hardest to relax at least a small amount. I crushed the can, and placed it on the coffee table with the first can, and leaned back into my chair, trying to get a little comfortable as I watched the game.

I figured that a nap wouldn't be such a bad thing, considering Bella seemed to be sleeping more peacefully, so I closed my eyes, knowing that I would wake up quickly if I heard Bella cry out. I was just nodding off when I heard her scream once again.

I leapt out of my chair, and dashed for the stairs, pausing when I heard the front door slam open.

I shouted, and reached for anything I could use as a weapon, but when I saw that it was Jacob, I calmed slightly, but I was still shocked to see him here after he cut Bella off completely.

"Jacob? What are you—" he was pushing past me on the stairs, making his way upstairs, "Jacob, she's hurting, don't make it worse. You really did a number on her, too."

"I had no choice," he shouted over his shoulder as he rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, "I'm not gonna make that mistake again."

I followed him up the stairs and into my daughter's room, confused but so grateful for the help—Billy pulled through after all.

—

Jacob's POV

The door creaked open with a slight push, and there she was. She turned slightly to look at who came into her room, not quite meeting my eyes (which was frustrating because how else was I supposed to know about the imprint?), but she looked shocked.

Seeing that—and her in general—was almost like being punched in the gut,

She looked terrible. Her face was bruised, and she had deep black circles under her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes lost their luster. Her skin was pasty, and she was gaunt—almost skeleton-like.

Her usually beautiful and tamed hair was a tangled-up rat's nest matted on top of her head. It looked somehow both brittle and dry, and wet with grease.

Her room reeked of unwashed body and grief—her usual scent of vanilla and lavender was barely there anymore. I quickly crossed the room to her, sat down on her bed, and pulled her into my arms.

"Jake," she croaked, gripping onto me with the tiny amount of strength she seemed to have left. I buried my nose in her hair, searching for her smell beyond the week of grief and uncleanliness. Hot tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bells," I murmured, voice breaking slightly, "For pushing you away, and for..." I trailed off, not wanting to say his name for both our sakes.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did," she whispered, "please don't leave me again. I...I need you, Jake." She clung to me as if I was going to disappear. I felt her tears seep through my shirt.

"You didn't do anything Bells, I...I'll explain everything later," I rubbed her back soothingly, "I'm here, Bells, I'm here." I rocked her back and forth for a moment, and turned to look at Charlie. He looked worse for wear—like he hadn't been sleeping. "I'll take it from here." Charlie hesitated for a moment, but nodded his head.

"I'm gonna take a nap, I guess, uh...let me know if you need anything." I nodded at him and he left, his footsteps going down the hallway toward his own bedroom. I heard his mattress squeak, and immediately he started snoring. He really needed some sleep after all.

I was content to hold Bella in my arms for a little while, but I wasn't here to coddle her. Normal-Bella wasn't someone who liked being fussed over. Someone needed to kick her ass into gear—and that someone was me.

"Okay, we're getting up out of bed," I said, shushing her when she whined, "none of that. You've been in bed for a week straight, you got all the rest and self-pity you need. Oh, and you smell like ass," she squeaked in embarrassment, but then smiled a little bit at my honesty. It looked strange across her gaunt face, but it was still a smile. "Come on, up we go."

She shuffled to where her feet were hanging off the bed, and one at a time put them on the ground. On wobbly legs, she slowly stood and swayed in place before they buckled under her and I had to catch her. Quietly, she started to cry.

I sighed, got a good grip on her, and picked her up, carrying her over to the bathroom. I sat her down on the closed toilet seat, then leaned over and started the water, letting it get warm before I stopped the tub and put some body wash into the water to bubble it up. Girls liked that, didn't they?

The sound of the water filling the tub filled the small room, and I looked back at Bella. She had stopped crying, and she was looking at me blankly, still not meeting my eyes.

"Alright, Bella, time to get yourself clean," she shook her head weakly, and shut her eyes, choosing instead to try and hide like a child with the logic of 'if I can't see you, you can't see me.'

"Bella, either you strip off your dirty clothes and get in the tub yourself, or I'll do it for you. Don't test me."

I meant it, too. If she wasn't going to take care of herself, I would.

Again, she shook her head. I rolled my eyes. I understood that she was in pain, but the fact that she's choosing to let herself go like this was ridiculous. I had to fix this.

"Alright, you made your choice." I paused. I knew I needed to get her clothes off and put her in the tub, but I didn't want to scare her or give her the wrong idea. I grit my teeth and decided to start with her socks.

One by one, I peeled them off and tossed them into the hamper by the door. I took a breath, and then went to the button of her jeans. Who the hell wears jeans in bed for a week?

I popped the button, unzipped the fly, and slipped the jeans off. Due to her weight loss, it wasn't much of a struggle. They joined the socks in the hamper. Next was her shirt.

I tried not to look at her body too closely once I had her halfway naked, but it was kind of impossible at that point, considering I was going to have to be the one to bathe her.

She was skin and bones. Each one of her ribs was visible. Her metabolism was naturally fast—she could eat almost as much as I did without gaining a pound—and since she wasn't eating, her body was resorting to eating itself.

"Oh, Bells," my voice broke and a single tear slipped down my cheek, "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner..."

My heart ached. I failed as a friend. My wolf howled mournfully in my head. I sighed, and finished undressing her, not paying any attention to her naked body. I gathered her into my arms, and put her into the water, quickly tossing a large towel on top of her to preserve her modesty.

Her eyes shut, and she sank slightly into the water—clearly relaxing slightly.

I twisted the faucet off, and grabbed a clean washcloth from the cubby above the toilet. I dipped it into the bath to get it wet, and twisted the water out of it and onto her head until her thick brown locks were soaked through.

I grabbed her hairbrush off of the counter and slowly began untangling her hair, mindful to stay gentle so as not to yank her hair too hard—I learned my lesson on that one when my sisters had me brush their hair when we were little.

I hummed softly to her as I worked through the tangles and snags, and before too long her hair was smooth again. I sat the brush down and reached for the shampoo.

Suave, LavenderAlmond Oil—simple, cost-friendly...it was very Bella. I smiled to myself at her mannerisms.

I poured some shampoo onto my hands, and lathered up the suds, gently rubbing the soap into her hair. I lightly massaged her scalp, getting rid of the build up of oils and dirtiness from days of not washing it.

"Ahh," she breathed out, eyelids fluttering shut. I smiled at the reaction, happy to see Bella emerging slightly from this funk.

"See? I knew this would make you feel a little better." The corners of her mouth twitched, slowly turning into a small smile.

"Thanks, Jake," she whispered, sighing out her contentment, "I guess I needed some help to..." she trailed off, unsure of what to say, "do all of this."

Once satisfied that her hair was clean, I tilted her head back into the water and rinsed the suds out, careful to keep her nose and mouth above water. I brought her back up once the bubbles were out of her hair.

I conditioned her hair next, making sure to leave it in for a few minutes. Considering the length of my own hair, I knew how to take care of it. I rinsed her hair once again, and I was about to start washing the visible parts of her body when she surprised me by reaching over and grabbing the washcloth from my hands.

"I can d-do this part," she stuttered out, eyes darting away from me and a bright red blush rising up her body, "I, um, well, thanks for getting me to bathe..."

I was relieved to hear her voice and see her come back to life, at least a little bit. It was only a fraction of her, but it was a start.

"Good, Bells, I wasn't sure how I was going to..." I trailed off, feeling my own face heat up, "uh, I'm gonna go find you some clean clothes, so you wash up, let me know when you're done."

She nodded, and I left the bathroom, leaving the door open in case she needed me for something. I dug through her drawers, finding some pajama shorts and an oversized tee-shirt that looked comfortable.

I searched for some underwear next, feeling a little bit creepy—kind of like I was on a panty raid. I grabbed the first pair I saw, and tossed it into the bundle of clothes I laid out on her dresser.

She hadn't told me to come back in yet, so I decided to strip the sheets and blankets off of her bed. They smelled terrible, and who doesn't feel better when they have brand new sheets?

I tossed the dirty bed linens onto the floor, and searched around for some more. Bella was really organized, so I knew there had to be some spares in here. I looked in her closet and found them folded neatly on the top rack. Even the fitted sheet was folded precisely—how the hell did she do that?

I quickly remade her bed, and decided that I should probably go and check on Bella—it had been a few minutes and she still hadn't told me she was done.

I picked up the clothes I'd set out for her and went over to the bathroom, and immediately dropped them when I saw her.

She was wrapped in a dry towel, sitting at the edge of the draining tub with a razor in her hand, blade pointed down at her arm. I dashed over to her and snatched it out of her hand quickly.

"Hey!" she yelled, reaching for the razor, "what are you doing?" I did a double take at her.

"What am I doing? Keeping you from slitting your wrist!" I raised my voice back at her, "I know you're sad but you can't just kill yourself. That won't make them come back. You have to stop acting like this, Bella. It's time to come back."

—

Bella's POV

Jacob's words stung me like a papercut between my fingers, and were quickly followed by a fierce bout of anger. I was livid—sure, I was sad and clearly not taking good care of myself, but to think I was going to slit my wrists over a breakup? He knew me better than that.

I was finally ready to stop being a zombie and let him help me, but he assumed I was going to end it all?

All the rage came boiling to the surface, I opened my mouth to start screaming at him, but when I met his eyes, the words died in my throat, and the world felt like it came to a standstill.

All that existed was him.

Something in his eyes drew me in. I never noticed before just how beautiful his eyes were—dark, deep, and simmering in their intensity.

In all honesty, he himself was also beautiful. His russet skin, his beautiful long black hair, his dimpled smile, his laugh, just...everything.

And he smelled amazing—like warm salt-saturated summer air by the beach, cedar trees, and the pines of the forest.

How did I never notice any of this before?

Images of us began flashing through my brain. Dancing, swimming under the stars, sleeping on the beach at the res, tangled up in bed together in a passionate frenzy of teeth and tongue.

I saw myself snuggling up next to a giant wolf in a snowstorm—but there was no fear, just peace and acceptance.

My heart swelled in my chest as the snapshots slowed and then stopped. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding, and gasped in another breath. I could break the gaze. His expression mirrored mine. This was...something deep and unexplainable.

—

Jacob's POV

I was mentally preparing myself for whatever emotions that Bella was going to throw at me when our eyes locked, and the world stopped turning.

An electric current passed between us, and I knew immediately that I had imprinted on her—and she felt it too.

Images of us started appearing in my mind's eye—dancing at what looked like a wedding, swimming in the ocean in the middle of the night by starlight, her small body sleeping on top of mine at the res beach, making love by candlelight.

Shit was beautiful, really.

The images faded, and the world started turning again. I took a deep breath and stumbled slightly, but quickly righted myself back up. Something in me knew that Bella saw all the same images that I did—her expression mirrored mine.

Bella gasped in a heaving breath, and in true Bella fashion—fell backwards off the side of the tub where she was perched.

"Shit," I uttered under my breath as I hurried to catch her, grabbing her before her head hit the ground. I scooped her up, and carried her back into her bedroom, trying to come up with what to say about this whole situation. I have to tell her eventually, but now probably isn't the best time.

—

Bella's POV

Thank God he caught me, because that fall of mine would have resulted in a trip to the ER. He carried me into my room. He sat me down on the freshly made bed and I fell backwards, bouncing slightly with the momentum of hitting the mattress.

"What was that?" I asked out loud, somehow knowing that I wasn't the only person in the room to experience this, "and don't say 'nothing' or 'I don't know," because I know you saw it too."

Those images felt so real and so right and my love for Jake grew. I had always loved him, yes, but never romantically. I needed to know what this all meant.

"I'll...I can't explain it right now, Bells. But I will, soon." I rolled my eyes at him, clutching the towel around myself and sitting up.

"That's not fair, Jake." He put his head in his hands and sighed.

"I know it isn't fair, but this isn't the time for this conversation. I mean, you're just now coming back to life, and you're naked and wrapped in a towel. Not the time for anything like this. I promise you though, Bella, we'll talk about this when the time is right." I huffed, and clutched my towel tighter around myself, shivering at the chill of the air on my damp skin.

He stood up and walked over to the ground where he had tossed all my new clothes onto the floor and picked them up and tossed them into my lap.

"You're cold, get dressed...I won't look, I'll turn around."

I waited for him to turn around, and stood up on shaky legs. I dropped the towel and got dressed as quickly as my weakened body would allow.

I was confused over these new feelings for my best friend, and in my heart it felt real. Maybe these feelings weren't new...they felt like maybe they had been dwelling under my love-obsession with Edward this whole time.

My heart ached. It still hurt for the loss of Edward and my vampire family, and now it was wanting my best friend? This heart of mine was a selfish bastard.

"D-done," I murmured after I finished getting

The tears turned to those of sadness, and began to flow freely and without a sound.

"Shh," Jake hushed me and wiped up my tears with his thumbs, "I understand," he whispered as he pulled me to him. I shivered at his touch, and I wanted to pull away and get my thoughts together, but all I could do was clutch at him, needing him close to me.

I buried my face into the crook of his neck and bawled—guttural sobs from the deepest bowels of my soul. I knew in the back of my mind that this was the final time I would cry over heartbreak.

I cried for the loss of Edward. I truly did love him, and I knew for a fact that I always would. The lamb fell hard and fast for the lion. His loss was painful, but it was done. He left. He made his choice, and it wasn't me.

I cried because not only was my chosen family taken from me, but I had let my own slip between my fingertips like grains of sand. Charlie was the only real family I had and I'd abandoned him for people who couldn't be bothered to stick around for me.

I cried for my loss of self. I was so caught up in the world of the vampires that I had forgotten what it is to be human—and how to be a human. Looking back on it now, the Cullens had to remind me to do all things human—eat, drink, and sleep. I stopped knowing how to live for myself.

I cried for Jacob. I abandoned him for love, and he pushed me away as a result. I had been upset and angry at him, but I understood it now. I chose loving Edward over my best friend, resulting in the probable reason for our fallout...but he still came back to put the pieces of me back together after I shattered. I sobbed harder when I realized that he had to literally make me be a person again.

And lastly, I cried because of these strange new feelings in the midst of heartbreak. Something had changed in me from just a glance at Jacob—something I've done a hundred thousand times with no similar reaction—and I had no idea what to do about it.

He let me cry it out on him—uncaring that my tears were soaking his shirt. He stroked my hair as my sobs turned to whimpers, and held me tight when I slumped against him, when I had no more tears to give. I was exhausted through and through.

"I w-wasn't trying to kill myself, Jake," I mumbled against his russet skin, "I was shaving. I already finished my legs, and wanted to do my arms too...I didn't want to look like our allusive friend...the Pacific North-West Sasquatch."

It was quiet for a moment, and then Jacob started laughing—big, deep, belly laughs that brought an instant smile to my face. How had I never noticed that his laughter was such a beautiful sound? One he only saved for truly funny things. Before long, I was laughing along with him—and dear God did it feel good.

"Oh, Gods," he wheezed out, wiping away a tear from under his eye, "I found you underneath all that funk," he looked at me, warmth in his gaze, and gave me a devastatingly beautiful smile, "there's my Bells."

My eyes drooped, and he noticed. He pulled away and maneuvered me to where I was propped against the pillows, and covered me with the blanket.

"Take a nap, Bells. I'm going to make you some food, okay? I'll be right back." I have him a sleepy nod, not really caring that Jake couldn't cook anything and could possibly burn the house down. I snuggled into my clean linens, and fell asleep almost instantly.

—

Jake's POV

When I got to the kitchen and looked in the fridge, I panicked. It was nearly empty except for a case of beer, condiments, orange juice, and raw chicken that was almost passed its due date.

I didn't know how to cook—I once set a pot of water on fire trying to make the world's most simple dish: boxed mac and cheese. Ever since that incident, I usually go over to Sam and Emily's for dinner. Bless her, because Dad can't cook either, and we used to live on takeout.

Bella used to cook for us when she'd come over, and not only did Dad and I miss her for who she was, but we missed the delicious food that she used to make. She was a wizard in the kitchen.

I looked in the freezer, and thanked the gods profusely when I saw that there was some frozen TV dinners. I grabbed a pasta-dish and took it out of the packaging, following the directions and tossing it the microwave for a few minutes.

While I waited, I looked around the cabinets and grabbed a glass, and filled it with water. Then I set about finding a fork.

The timer on the microwave dinged, and I grabbed the meal from it, burning the shit out of my fingers in the process.

"Fuck," I hissed, waving my hand around to try and dispel the heat. I saw a dish towel on the oven handle, and used it as a potholder, and grabbed the water, and carefully made my way back up the stairs.

Charlie was still snoring loudly. I doubted he'd be waking up anytime soon. It was a good thing I came to help when I did, because that poor man was running on fumes.

From the doorway of her room, I saw that Bella was thrashing in her sleep as if fighting someone off. Her heartbeat was erratic—scared.

I dashed into the room, sat the food down on her nightstand, and when I went to quell her, she woke up with a shriek.

"Shh, Bella, it's okay, you're with me, shh," I enveloped her in my arms and tucked her head into my neck so she could smell me better—a common calming technique between mates. I had seen it a bunch of times whenever Quil would fly off the handle at something and Leah would literally smash his face into her neck, right over their bonding mark and he would settle in seconds.

I heard her inhale, and felt her relax. Her heartbeat slowed, settling back into a normal rhythm.

"I...I keep dreaming that Laurent is trying to kill me," she murmured, holding me to her tightly, "I'm in the woods, and he tells me that V-Victoria wants me, but since she's not there he's going to devour me first."

"You're safe, Bells. He's long gone," I murmured as I kissed the top of her head, "besides, he won't be able to get you with me around." I felt her smile against my skin, and then the room echoed with the sound of her stomach rumbling. Her face went bright red.

"Okay, time to eat," surprisingly, she didn't fight the idea. She sat up against her pillows and reached her hands out for the food, which I handed to her. "Eat slow, Bella, your body probably isn't used to food right now."

She nodded, and skewered a piece of chicken on her fork, twirling a bunch of noodles onto it. She ate a bite, chewed slowly, and swallowed.

"This is freezer burnt," she said softly, taking another mouthful, "but honestly I think it's the best thing I've ever tasted." I laughed at her silliness, grateful to see her come back to life.

"I worked really hard on it, Bella. I slaved for hours over that stove." She rolled her eyes, and gave me a sauce-covered smile. I reached out and wiped her lips with my thumb, immediately bringing the sauce to my own mouth.

"Oh, this is disgusting!" She just laughed.

"Terrible," she replied, "but like I said, it's the best. This is the first solid food I've eaten in a week," she paused as she chewed another bite, "you know what? I'm done being sad. I'm done not taking care of myself. That was dumb."

"Maybe a little bit, but heartbreak is heartbreak, you know?" She shrugged, and polished off the rest of the pasta, passing me the empty plastic bowl. Her eyes began to droop again.

"Try sleeping again, Bells, I'll be here." She went to snuggle up under the covers, but hesitated.

"Join me?" I was a bit taken aback, but I nodded and took off my shoes, slipping into bed behind her. I hesitantly slung an arm around her, pulled her to where her back was against my chest, resting my head on top of hers.

—

Bella's POV

I wasn't sure what came over me in that moment, but I knew having him close to me would quell my fears...and he was really warm. My heart fluttered when he pulled me closer to him, and I smiled at the feeling of his breath running through my hair.

"Thanks, Jake," I murmured, snuggling a bit closer as my eyes drooped once again, "for everything."

"Anything for you, Bells," he replied, kissing my head once again, filling me with warmth. I closed my eyes, and Jacob started humming again, and the rumbling of his chest put me to sleep.