By the time they convinced Josh to sit down Chris had plied him with more hot drinks than he could drink, buried under piles of fluffy blankets and reassured a hundred times he would be okay.

It was the most enormous lie in the universe, but Josh kept his lips closed as Sam handed him another cup of chamomile tea. "Jess and Mike will be here at seven," she told him as she settled down onto the sofa. It sank under her weight, but she was so slight he hardly noticed, "Chris tried to stagger their arrivals; he didn't want to overwhelm you. Or anyone else."

Jess. The person he wanted to see least - she had been the mastermind behind that stupid prank on Hannah, and he had planned such elaborate revenge on her. A prank he had never pulled off - but he had planned it for months and in such detail it he had ingrained it into his mind.

Then there were the mines, the Wendigo, weeks spent in hospital recovering from the most traumatic experience of her life. There was no way she would want to be near him, not when he had a face like this.

"Josh, honey?"

Sam's voice, always so sweet and patient, snapped him back to reality with a jolt. Milky eyes flickered up to clear blue ones and for a moment he was lost for words.

"You had this face - all smooshed and twisted. Bad thoughts?"

He nodded but words refused to leave his lips. Instead Josh sank deeper into the cocoon of blankets, snatching up a pillow to bury his face into the soft fluff.

"You don't want to talk about it?"

Josh shook his head. He didn't want to talk about anything - about the mountain or his medication or his own stupidity; he wanted to curl up with these blankets and disappear into their warmth. There weren't even words for how he felt - the nerves rolling in his gut and the rising panic as the clock ticked further and further to seven o'clock. If he had consumed anything worth throwing up, he would have spewed all over the floor.

"The words sound hollow," Sam spoke, voice quiet as she reached over to link her fingers through his, "but everything will be fine. I promise."

She couldn't promise that. Even so warmth flooded Josh's chest, and he squeezed her palm - careful to avoid digging those nails into her fragile skin. "Thanks Sammy."

"I love you, Josh."

Those words, so simple, were the only words he wanted to hear. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as she snuggled into her, arms looping around to pull her closer. "I love you too."

It only lasted a second because the doorbell rang, shrill in the quiet atmosphere - and Josh let out a strangled yelp, jolting from Sam's side. His heart hammered in his chest and bile rose in the back of his throat. They were here.

Sam's words - everything will be fine - seemed empty, useless, as he replayed them in his mind.

"Coming!" Chris' voice called as he stumbled through the hall - tripping over Sam's boots left abandoned by the stairs - and Josh saw him grapple with the keys as he peeked his head over the sofa.

The door swung back to reveal Mike dressed in a leather jacket and skinny jeans as well dressed as ever. Behind him stood Jess, almost hidden by Mike's tall frame - and her smile was small, so reserved and unlike the shining personality Josh remembered. Even from this distance, Josh couldn't miss the fading scars across her forehead.

"Hey, you're here! Come on in. You guys want a drink - coffee, chocolate, something stronger?" Chris stepped aside to let them through, casting a glance toward Josh and Sam in the living room. Even though Chris smiled, he looked pale.

"I wouldn't mind tea," Jess spoke, and her voice wavered, betraying her nerves. Her eyes, ringed with dark circles, flickered to the living room.

For a moment their gazes locked and Josh couldn't breathe, his heart thundering so loudly he it made him sick. He had to get out of there - run, leave, now and he would climb out of a fucking window if he had to so he didn't have to look at those wide, terrified eyes and delicate hands clutching for Mike.

"I'll make the tea." Jess' words spilled from her mouth but Josh barely heard them as she stumbled down the hall, eyes dropped to the floor.

Mike sent them a helpless glance and followed, his words drowned out by the shuddering in Josh's chest.

As Mike slipped from view Josh let out a gasp and almost collapsed into Sam's arms. They were already outstretched, curling around him and pulling him close. Even surrounded by Sam's warmth that urge to flee was so hard to ignore.

"Well, that didn't go as planned. Can't blame her for running from this mug, can I?" Josh joked, but his voice wobbled and tears sprung to his eyes. He scrubbed at them with the corner of a blanket but it was too late - Sam always read his mind, like a weird psychic connection to his brain.

A hand brushed across his cheek as more tears spilled, but Sam stayed quiet this time. Maybe she knew words couldn't help, or perhaps there were no more words to say.

"Shit man, I'm sorry. I didn't expect Jess to bail like that." Chris kept his voice low, casting an anxious glance toward the door as he sidled in. He settled down on Josh's other side, shoving blankets and pillows aside to make room. He placed a gentle hand on Josh's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "She'll come around. She wouldn't be here otherwise, right?"

"Sure." Every drop of energy had drained from him and he was just tired. Tired of fucking things up and disappointing his friends and everything else. Couldn't he go home and sleep?

"Hey, uh..."

Josh's head sprang up, milky gaze landing on Mike. He almost flinched but could Josh blame him? With a ragged hole in his cheek and a mishmash of teeth sticking through the gap he was an awful sight. Not to mention off-blue eyes better suited to a blind man than a boy with better vision than ever.

Josh sank into Sam's warmth, tucking that ugly, disfigured side into the curve of her side.

"Jess says she'll be out soon." Mike's voice dropped as he said, "give her a minute yeah? She wasn't expecting... this." Josh raised his head in time to see Mike wave a hand across his own face, fingers drifting across his tanned, perfect cheek.

Josh's lip curled, ragged teeth pricking the corner of his cheek, and threw Mike a narrow eyed glare. "This was a stupid idea, anyway," he muttered. And it was, wasn't it? He couldn't expect everyone to be okay - not after what he did, not after the way he treated everyone like absolute shit and pretended like it was all justified. Even if he wasn't directly responsible for Jess, he sure as hell hadn't helped. Now she had to see his fucked up face and remember every terrible thing that happened to her; and know while she was down in those mines, alone, he had been torturing her friends for fun.

Gentle hands ran through his hair - shorter now, but still curly - and then Sam pressed a kiss to his temple. "Just give her time, Josh."

"Yeah, she was up for coming today. Don't worry about it." Mike collapsed onto the two seater across from them, gangly legs kicked up across the cushions in a way intended to make him appear relaxed. He wasn't fooling anyone. Not that Josh blamed him for feeling awkward.

"Someone should go check on her. It's been a hot minute." Chris' blue eyes flickered to the door, though the kitchen wasn't visible from where they sat. "I'll go see if she needs help."

"Good idea. Thanks, Chris. Just... be gentle, okay?" Mike smiled; but he pinched his eyebrows and his eyes dark with concern.

"Of course," was Chris' reply as he heaved himself from the sofa. The space he left was empty and cold.

Josh watched him disappear into the hall, watched as that hideous cable-knit turned the corner and he wanted Chris back - needed him back because now it was just him and Sam and Mike.

Mike's gaze burned into his skin and Josh didn't even need to glance up to know what Mike was trying to glimpse. Josh couldn't hide his face forever.

Even the slow, soothing circles Sam drew in his hair did nothing. Any other time he would have curled into her touch, craved more of her careful hands and strawberry scented shampoo; but with Mike staring holes into his skin, Josh wanted to sink into the ground and disappear.

"So," Mike began - and when Josh let himself peak up from the mountain of blankets, he wasn't even looking his way. In fact, Mike focused his gaze on Sam and Sam only. "What happened? Chris filled me in on the basics but I missed a lot, stuck down there in the mines..." he trailed off, lips pursing. "Forget it, Chris told me enough. I don't need to know the details."

They lapsed into silence; thick and hot. The walls were closing in and Josh was suffocating, too cramped in Chris' tiny living room. He fidgeted, legs tangling in the blankets and face pressed into Sam's side because at least then he didn't have to look at Mike-

"Hey Sam, can you come through? Jess wants to speak to you."

Chris' voice sliced through the silence and Josh sighed, relief flooding him. Except that meant Sam was leaving him and she was his rock, the only thing keeping him from going insane.

But she agreed, muttering something into Josh's ear and then she slid out from underneath him. Her hand slipped from his with one last squeeze and she shot him a reassuring nod, eyes soft, before she was gone from view.

A knock on the kitchen door, and it reminded Sam of an almost identical scenario only hours ago. The only difference now was that she was faced with a teary-eyed Jess clutching a mug of tea as if it was the only thing keeping her tethered.

"Sam?" Jess' voice wobbled, and she clung to the mug even tighter.

"It's just me," Sam replied as she eased her way in. She stretched out her arms - and Jess had never been one for hugs, or for affection at all, really - but she accepted the embrace with no complaints.

They stood there, Sam's arms wrapped around Jess' and even with the heat of the mug scalding her bare arm she didn't move away.

Jess moved first, skittering back with an embarrassed smile and a huff to blow hair from her eyes. "Thanks Sam. I didn't even know I needed that."

The kitchen was just as tiny as the rest of Chris' house - but somehow Jess looked so small, so frail in a way Sam had never seen her before. She had tied her hair in a messy bun and her sparkly eyeshadow did nothing to hide the dark rings under her eyes. When was the last time she slept?

"Chris said you wanted me?" she ventured - and it was so weird, stepping on eggshells around the most confident of their entire group. If Sam hadn't seen it for herself, she would never have believed it.

Jess took a sip from her mug, steam pluming. "I just... want you to tell me something. You've always been the closest with Josh, and you're the one who's seen him through it all." She shrugged and the wide neck of her sweater slipped down her shoulder. There was no attempt to fix it. "I want to see him, but after what he did, I don't know if I can. Does he deserve forgiveness?"

Josh hadn't even done anything to Jess - she had no right to hold this against him when she hadn't been there for any of it. Sam's nose scrunched, the words on the tip of her tongue - but when she looked at Jess, so tiny and nervous and nothing like herself, the fight drained from her.

"You're the only one who can decide that. If you want to go home, you can. But I've been with him these last few months and I know how terrible he feels, how much he's been suffering. He's more than paid the price for it all." Sam placed a comforting hand to Jess' shoulder - and was it her imagination, or was Jess skinnier than normal? Her shoulder was more bony, collarbone more pronounced.

Shit. She had been focusing so much on Josh, she had forgotten about everyone else.

Jess eyes narrowed and her fingers clenched around the mug until they turned white. For a long moment it seemed like she had no words. Then, "It isn't just about that though, is it? If he hadn't pulled those idiotic pranks we wouldn't have been up on the mountain - and those monsters wouldn't have attacked us! His selfishness put all our lives at risk and all he's worried about is if we forgive him or not?" She laughed, but it was a humourless sound.

Sam's fists clenched, and she closed her eyes against the flurry of anger rising in her gut. They had been through so much - Josh and Jess both - and anger wasn't helping. She sucked in a breath, released it, and forced herself to look at Jess. At least her voice was even as she said, "It wasn't all his fault. He was grieving and none of us even noticed how bad he was. Not even me, and if anyone should have, it should have been me."

Jess' lips quirked into what might have been a smile. "You can't blame yourself, Sam. Out of all of us, you're the least to blame. Remember, you were the only one who tried to stop us doing what we did to Hannah."

"Yeah."

"Look, I know it wasn't all Josh's fault. The shit that happened was nothing to do with him. Doesn't make me feel any better about it." Jess set down the mug with a clink, watery eyes turned to Sam. "I'll talk to him."

Sam smiled - and this time when she pulled Jess in for the biggest, warmest hug, they could have stayed like that forever.

Josh hadn't said a word the entire time. The sofa was cold without Sam and the way he clung to Chris was nothing short of pathetic.

His ears strained to hear Jess and Sam - but they were too far away, too quiet even for his improved hearing. Whatever was going on in the kitchen, he had no idea. The thought made uneasiness well in his stomach. What if Jess hated him? What if she was telling Sam about how awful he was - and what if Sam believed her? No, Sam wasn't like that and neither was Jess, as much as she pretended to be. But maybe-

"Hey, guess who's shown up?" There was a lightness in Sam's voice he didn't expect - and a smile on her face as she settled down in her familiar spot by Josh's side.

And then there was Jess, her eyes damp but gaze steady as she came to rest beside Mike. Even though there were chairs scattered about the living room she stood standing, hands interlaced with Mike's. At least the mountain hadn't destroyed their relationship. They seemed stronger for it.

"Hey Josh," Jess spoke, and her voice was hushed but strong, "sorry I bailed like that. I've always been good at overreacting, haven't I?"

"Don't worry about it; we're all used to it by now." His attempt at joking fell flat, his tongue dry.

Even so Jess let slip a smile. "Just so you know," she began, slow in the way he knew she didn't know where it was going, "Sam said things, and I'll never understand - I don't think I want to - but it cleared up a lot."

"Like?" Mike ventured - and one strong hand pulled her close. She ended up perched on his lap, stiff as a board but at least she was there and not hiding out in the kitchen.

"Like, I've been holding what happened against you for so long and it isn't your fault, not really. I can't vouch for the pranks because I wasn't there but... what happened isn't on you."

"You forgive me?" The words caught in his throat, eyes searching Jess' tired face for any signs of lies, or jokes, something for her to laugh about later.

She didn't look at him as she spoke, instead staring at Mike's strong hand on her hip as she said, "There's nothing to forgive. You hurt Sam - and Chris, and Ash - but not me."

He had planned on it - God, he had planned so much for her and Emily - but that wasn't something she needed to know. A smile tugged at the corner of his ragged lips as he pushed himself up, and the relief coursing through him was almost physical. For a moment words escaped him.

Jess' eyes went wide, the dark eyeshadow circling her eyes reminding him of a frightened raccoon. A hand fluttered to her cheek and Mike mimicked her.

Oh. Right. They hadn't got a good look at him before he dove under the safety of the blankets and now he had let them slip away like an idiot, his face was on show for everyone to see. He grasped for a blanket or a pillow or anything to hide his face because if they weren't scared off yet then they would run now.

But Jess reached out. She couldn't touch him from such a distance but the meaning was there. A wordless stop with an open hand stretched out as if to take his. "Wait."

Josh stopped, frozen, wide eyes unable to look away from Jess as she climbed from Mike's knee to crouch beside him.

"What happened up there? We all left and we thought you were dead, Josh. And now this."

He raised a clawed hand, palm flat to hide the ripped cheek and protruding teeth. "Guess I'm not human anymore. Humanity is overrated anyway." He smiled - all too aware of how his torn flesh peeled back.

But Jess didn't flinch - although behind her, Mike did - and she placed a soft hand against his damaged face. "It's cute. Adds character," she told him with an affirmative nod. And that was the Jess they all knew - fun and confident and a little bit silly. "That mountain put you through a hell of a lot, huh?"

Josh didn't reply. No one else spoke and the silence stretched on for what could have been hours. Jess stood up and scrubbed a hand across her eyes - when had she started crying? - and took her place back on Mike's lap.

"See, I said everything would be fine," Sam whispered against his neck, a smile pressed into his skin.

"If miss 'I hold a grudge till the end of days' can forgive you, I think we're good," Chris shot back - and a laugh slipped from his throat.

"If Jess is good, then I am too," Mike replied, and the low chuckle in his voice warmed Josh's chest.

A moment later Jess let out a squeak of laughter herself, and her eyes were so bright, the fear sliding away. Then he felt Sam shake beside him, giggling into her palm.

Just like that the atmosphere vanished, and it was as if this was any other day spent hanging out with friends. Maybe it wasn't so impossible to turn things around.