"Good morning, I'm looking for Detective Halstead…", the voice made Jay's head rise from his documents.

"Uhm, yeah, it's me…", he stood up with a vague expression.

"Sergeant Voight told me to come and talk to you, so here I am!", the woman quickly joined him with a cheerful smile on her lips and her long black hair fluttered around her with every step. But her appearance was greeted by silence that had fallen over the whole office.

Jay saw Kim's confused face popping out of a pile of files as Adam's gaze focused on the long trail of hair that came just above the woman's butt.

Jay's expression, however, went from vague to completely perplexed. He was about to open his mouth when she preceded him.

"You don't know anything, I would say"; she smiled holding out her hand, "I'm Detective Taylor, Michelle, from Robbery-Homicide. I think Voight want us to work together…"

"Robbery-Homicide? Why does it look like a déjà vu?", he heard Adam mutter to Kevin, "Long story…", he continued in front of Vanessa's gaze.

Jay remained motionless in staring at the woman in front of him, but his mind was traveling at a thousand per hour. Voight had sent her away, she would never come back from New York. She had been gone for a few hours but the sensation that crashed against his chest was just that. He knew it, He knew, the New York FBI had been able to take something away from him again and it almost seemed like a joke. Another small piece of him gone away.

"Detective Taylor, there you are. Halstead, my office."

Jay slowly dragged himself into the office feeling the eyes of his colleagues on his shoulders. Is she was gone, he was just done here. He could simply take the rest of the events as they came and he wouldn't worry about it anymore. What was the point in trusting someone, worrying about someone if she was then torn so brutally from his arms?

"Jay, I want you to take charge of a case of Robbery-Homicide with Detective Taylor. It will be temporary, you'll manage it. It's clear?"

Jay nodded slowly, out of the corner of his eye he saw the woman staring at Voight in awe. After all, it was the same look everyone had when they first talked to him, he thought.

"Take Burgess too. Don't say anything to others, it's your case. Now get out of here", he quickly dismissed them looking down at his computer.

Jay got up and left the office like a robot, he didn't even recognize the presence of the new Detective. His mind that traveled far, ever farther. To years back, to him chasing Erin in her wrecked life and to a long blond tail that bullied through their desks.

"So, can we start immediately? I left all the files in my district, I can go get them or…"

"No, it's fine. We'll go to your district. burgess, with me", he grunted through his teeth, picking up his jacket and walking past their desks. He left the startled looks of the rest of the team behind him, accompanied by the cheerful pace of the woman he had just met.

He just hoped the day would pass quickly, very very quickly.

...

He sat down in his chair with a sigh, it was late afternoon but he seemed to have been at work for days. He leaned his forehead against the desk ad closed his eyes for a few moments. They had sifted through documents, photos and reports for hours and his eyes begged for some rest.

He chuckled hearing Kim imitate his own movements and at the same time trying to limit Adam and Vanessa's questions about where they had been and who the smiley woman was.

Once again, his mind went back to Hailey first day, how she spilled coffee on Platt and how she managed to earn the respect of Voight and even Al.

If he hadn't been so damned taken by the walking disaster Erin was, he probably would have noticed what a damned good cop she was.

He raised his head and stared at the empty chair in front of him and ended up wondering how long it would remain empty. How quickly Voight would replace it. But was it really possible to replace Hailey? Immediately he replied that no, Hailey was totally irreplaceable, she was unique. She really was.

"Halstead, my office", Voight lapidary voice made him sigh again, as if he couldn't do anything else for that day.

"I'm getting too old for this…", he muttered snatching a laugh from Kevin, the closest to him.

He closed the door behind him and, at a nod from the sergeant, sank into the sofa in front of his desk.

"I wanted to warn today, but it was a sudden thing. I guess you know about Hailey…", at his nod he continued, "I'm not here to justify myself. So I don't care if you're pissed at me, Jay. Just do your job trying to keep your head in the right place. Am I clear?"

"Sarge…", Jay slowly passed his hands over his eyes, a resigned expression on his face, "Hank…I think you made the right choice. I…hate this situation, but I think it was the best thing."

Voight showed the slightest sign of surprise raising an eyebrow.

"I need you to keep an eye on Burgess. You work well together and I want your opinion because I want her to take the Detective exam."

Jay nodded, stretching his neck against the sofa with narrowed eyes, "What do you think about Hailey? Can you just…be honest with me?"

Voight was silent for a few minutes and Jay wondered if he would ever answer him, until, in a deep voice, he explained his vision of the situation.

"Upton is a great cop, one of the best. But she continues to carry on this story of doing what I would do…and it's something that sends me into a rage! I do it because I have nothing left, instead she'll only manage to self-destruct."

They remained silent for a few seconds, then Voight got up and sat down on the edge of his desk in front of Jay with one hand on his shoulder.

"I need her to be clear about the right and wrong lines, because when I told you that you'll take charge this unite, I really thought so. And no doubt I see her with you. But the unit can never be guided honestly if she ends up destroying herself like this. You need someone to keep you grounded, Jay. Even when you're in charge. And it will be her, I have no doubts."

The Detective silently weighed his words, his head tight in his hands, "I haven't done enough, have I? I…I knew something was wrong with her, yet…"

"She needs to get back into her head, that's why I sent her away. To be alone and remember who she really is. I'm sending you to handle a case with Robbery-Homicide just to avoid what you're doing now. Your head…I know how it works. When something eats you, you can't stop thinking about it. And this is also a bit of self-destruction. Now go and solve this case, Halstead. Don't make me regret my decision."

Then, at a gesture from the Sergeant, Jay slowly walked away. He had just opened the door that his voice made him stop.

"She'll be back, Jay. Hailey will be back."

Without turning back, he simply continued closing the door behind him.

He no longer knew what to believe.

...

Three days had passed since Hailey left. Not that he kept the bill, obviously not.

It seemed to him that he had no slept for weeks and it was about that because, while working on the case of Robbery-Homicide, he and Kim had also been able to follow an Intelligence case.

He understood what Voight was doing with him, keeping him busy would prevent him from thinking and thinking and thinking. Keeping his mind busy and physically exhausted was the way he reacted in Afghanistan, so it wasn't a new technique for him at all.

But he had come to understand he didn't miss Hailey when he had nothing to do, he always missed her. When he got up from his desk and automatically turned to hers to nod her out, but she wasn't there. When he expected to see her come out from the stairs, a tornado of rebellious blonde hair, but she wasn't there. He missed her when he went to get coffee and had to remember that he shouldn't bring it to her, because she wasn't there.

He vividly remembered her walk that disappeared at the end of his corridor the morning she left. He remembered well how he felt when she told him what was going on, that she was leaving. As a part of him was transported to years before, to another loss. He remembered how he told her it would be all right, but did he really believe it?

"You with me?", Will shook him from his thoughts punching him on the shoulder.

"Sorry. I'm doing overtime and I'm absolutely destroyed", he sighed holding the beer. In front of his brother's curious gaze, he gave up telling him what was going on.

"I'm working with Robbery-Homicide Detective, along with Burgess. And, of coure, we also follow the cases of Intelligence, so basically I'm devastated…"

"I can feel your bad mood miles away, kiddo. If looks could kill, that beer would have exploded long ago…"

"I'm not in a bad mood, stop it."

He hid a stunned laugh behind his beer, "How's Hailey doing?"

"All right, I guess…"

Will stared at him with wide eyes, then he continued, "We didn't feel much, we're both working, we don't have time to live", he joked trying to ease the tension. He knew that Will would sense that something was wrong and he also knew he would not let it drop.

"You haven't heard Hailey. It's…strange", his sentence came out more like a question. That Jay ended up ignoring because, really, what did he have to answer?

"Man, what's going on?"

He slammed the beer and grunted something between his teeth, but this didn't discourage his brother who, instead, faced him on the stool with his arms crossed, "Jay, be honest with me."

"Oh my god, Will! What should I say?", he snapped exasperated, "She went to New York, she left! What is there to add?"

"You told me it's a temporary assignment", Will shut up staring at his brother, "Jay, she's not Erin…"

At these words, the man shot up his head and looked at Will. His eyes blazed and he had to concentrate not to leave the pub and go home. He didn't want to face any of this, he just wanted to remain closed in his bad mood.

"What the hell is Erin got to do with it? Hailey's not Erin!", Jay hissed.

"Nothing, in fact. Hailey has nothing to do with Erin, we all know that. Jay, seriously, what scares you so much?"

"Don't do it, Will", Jay shook his head and focused his gaze on the beer.

"I thought you trusted Hailey, but it almost seems like you're already resigned she won't come back."

"Of course I trust her."

"So…", Will drop the phrase into a very noisy silence between them.

"I think…I know I can't lose her. And it scares me…", Jay surrendered to his brother's insistence. The words that had been spinning in his head fro days and days not allowing him to rest.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with admitting that you love a person more than you should love a partner…"

Jay shook his head with his eyes shut. Suddenly he could feel the tight chest and the roar of the heart directly in his ears. He didn't want this conversation, he didn't want it. And for a moment, he almost hoped to be at work, chasing a few thugs on the dark streets of Chicago.

And then, out of nowhere he understood what was happening to him. Panic began to invade him until he felt underwater. He cared about Hailey, he worried about Hailey, he could't see her go on the field without worrying about not covering her back. He needed to keep an eye on her because if something had happened to her, it would have hit him too.

"Oh god, Will, maybe I could have feelings for her!"

"Yeah man, that's what we've all been saying for some time!", the man clapped him on the shoulder, sighing with relief, but then stopped when he saw him open his eyes with terrified expression, "Hey, there's nothing wrong, Jay…"

"She's my partner. Oh god, Will. Oh my god!", Jay jumped to his feet and the sudden movement made some people turn towards them.

"Hey relax, you're panicking!"

"I'm not panicking!", his voice louder than he wished, but the rumble in his ears didn't make him think clearly, "I have to…I have to get out of here…"

"Jay!", Will's voice reached him from afar, he opened the door of the pub and launched himself onto the sidewalk.

He bent over placing his hands on his knees and breathing deeply. The weight on his chest slowly eased and he managed to relax the beat of his heart.

He felt Will's hand on his shoulder and out of the corner of his eye saw him speak, but he was still too focused on breathing to really pay attention to him.

"You don't understand, do you? She's my partner, I can't afford to…", he breathed again deeply and continued, "It shouldn't have happened. It had happened with Erin and it shouldn't have happened. But with Hailey it's worse, much worse. She means too much for me!"

"Hailey's not Erin…"

"Stop repeating that, stop it!", Jay jerked away from him, finally able to walk. He reached his car parked on the other side on the road and, with a nod in Will's direction, got into the car and left.

He couldn't face it now, he didn't want to face it now. He wanted to sleep and dive headlong into work.

He had a plan and would follow it.

Hy guys!

I've decided I will try to update my stories once a week. I have a couple of ideas in mind for other stories, but who knows what's gonna happen...

Anyway, now I focus on continuing this here!

Despite the study, I still manage to carve out time to imagine and write during this long but necessary quarantine.

How's the situation going in your city? I know how difficult the situation can be, so if someone needs to talk, just write to me and we will try to have some fun together.

As always, if you wanted to let me know what you think about my story, you would make me happy.

See you soon, H