Love, Shoto 1

Just amazing. I didn't even realize I was being blackmailed! Just amazing.

We were sitting in the metal folding chairs backstage and Tomura Shigaraki goes, "I read your emails."

I look up, "What?"

"Earlier. In the library. I didn't mean to, obviously."

"You read my emails?" I arch my eyebrows.

"Well, I used the computer after you" he says, "and I typed in Gmail and your account popped up."

As much as I would hate to admit, I am shaking. On the inside, obviously.

"So, what's the point of the fake name?" he asked.

Well, I would said that the point to have a nick name was to keep people like Tomura Shigaraki from knowing my identity. That worked out brilliantly.

"I just wanted you to know" he continued getting nothing but silence from me, "I am okay with that."

That. He can't even say it out loud. This is what I hate about people, either you say you are okay with homosexuality or you are not. Don't pretend like Tomura Shigaraki.

"With what?" I say, looking directly in his eyes.

"With you know… My sister is also like you" he replied. Now I am pissed.

"Like me? What do you mean?" I said getting up from my chair. Someone like him should not bother me, but if he is telling the truth then I am in trouble.

"Hey hey! Now don't get all worked up! It's not like I'm a homophobic person, my sister a lesbian for fuck's sake! I just didn't want anyone to overhear. Don't judge people so fast, Todoroki."

Wow. So, he is not a terrible human being? Well, I guess I did judge him fast. It's just, this could turn into a big fucking high school drama I was trying to avoid. Literally, my not so dramatic life now depended on whether Tomura can keep his fucking mouth shut.

"It's obvious you don't want people to know about this."

I guess not?

It's not like I have a problem in people knowing about it, well I do but it's because this school is filled with idiotic homophobic people. And Tomura is a fucking idiot.

"This is awkward" he says.

I don't even know what to reply. So, I just relax on my chair. Except my body has forgotten to relax, it is all too much fucking invested in what that idiot is going to say or do next.

See I am not worried about me. I am worried what it would mean for Deku. He is a VERY private person and would never forget to log out of his Gmail from the fucking school library's computer. He won't even use one. You must understand, I would not have used it also, but it was just one of those days when I could not wait get back to my home and reply to him. The point is, I had sent Deku a very important email and I just wanted to know if he replied. I couldn't even wait to get out of the school.

"Well I think people will be really cool about it" he said.

Yeah. Sure. I just had to roll my eyes.

"Okay. Whatever. I won't show anyone" he said

"What do you mean not show anyone?" I said, dumbfounded.

He was no longer looking me in the eye. He started playing with the hem of his shirt. Something about his expression make me sick.

I knew the answer. I hated that.

"Well… I wanted to talk to you about that" he said.

"Hold on, YOU TOOK A FUCKING SCREENSHOT?"

"Yeah"

How could he just say "yeah" like that? The nerve.

However, I might be portraying myself as cool in front of him, there a fucking storm inside me. I am scared.

I am scared what would it mean for us. Deku and me.

"Why the fuck did you take a screenshot, Shigaraki?"

"Well, you are friends with Momo Yaoyorozu. I was hoping you could me out…"

I laugh. "Why would I ever do that?"

His expression changed and then it hit me. The fucking power he has over me now. This Momo thing. This is what he wanted from the beginning. In exchange of not showing my private emails.

And Deku's emails.

"What do you want… put in a good word for you?" I ask gritting my teeth.

"Yeah something like that"

Is he fucking serious?

"Tomura, you are pathetic"

"I might be, but I still have you fucking emails" he replied with a stupid grin on his face.

There it is - the blackmail. No more bullshitting.

And I want to punch him.

"You are actually going to make me do this?"

"It's not like that… see I like this girl and I feel like we are both in a position to help each other out."

"What if I say no? What are you gonna do? Post my emails on Facebook? OR on fucking UA Tumblr?"

The UA High school Tumblr - it is THE gossip zone. The whole school would know in less than a day.

I can't let that happen.

"Look, as I said before, we are both in a position to help each other out" he actually had the audacity to smile, "so let's make a deal? Yeah?"

He extended his hand. I looked at him, disgusted.

"Okay. Think about it this weekend and let me know?"

I scoffed and left.

#

I am not in the mood to deal with my family. Or should I say just my mom since my two elder siblings are in college. But there was no way I could skip the family video call.

"How is everything?" Fuyumi asked.

"Well I am great in theatre and studies; you already know that-"

"Not that you idiot, how are you? You look kind of stressed"

"O! Is our little brother missing us?" Natsou teased me, so very much like him.

I did miss them. A lot.

"If I remember correctly, someone was crying just this week that they had to their laundry by themselves… I wonder who that was Natsou…" I said and he almost erupted in flames.

But before this video call could turn into a siblings' roasting ring, my mom jumped into the conversation. After that I wasn't really listening to either my mom or my siblings, my mind started to wander and the destination was always one place. Or I should say one person.

Deku.

I wonder what he was doing right now. It's not like I am his boyfriend or something. We haven't really talked about it and honestly, I don't care. I don't stay up late in night and wonder if he's thinking about me. I did not care when he told me that he goes to the same school as me which means I might actually see him everyday and don't even know him. It absolutely does not bother me if he is not at all thinking about me.

You get me. I do not care.

Ping.

I look down at the notification, hoping to see an email but it was just the stupid group chat.

Uraraka Ochaco: Lmao! Did you see him in practise today?!

Iida Tenya: He is very rude.

Denki Kaminari: you both know he is in dis grp chat righttttt?

Katsuki Bakugo: HMPH.

Me: Can't believe Bakugo isn't threating to kill anyone… are you okay my friend?

Katsuki Bakugo: I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND! YOU—YOU IDIOT!

Ah… he did not say half and half. All of my friends have been really supportive ever since my mom and dad divorced. My dad, Enji Todoroki, is the worst human being that has ever walked on his planet. For some reason, I could never tell my friends all the details about the abuses my father did to me and my family. But I told them all to Deku. I think it's easy to tell people secrets when they have no face. Whatever the case, Deku knows everything about me, except my real name or face. That's the pact we made. No real names, no description of friends so we would not know who the person is. Completely anonymous. It was fun at the beginning.

But things changed. I want to know him better now. I want to spend all of my time with him but I can't. And now I have to deal with this Shigaraki thing.

I need to relax. Get my mind off things. And as if on cue I got a text.

Denki Kaminari: Midoriya is making brownies (no weed, cuz he too innocent). coming to pick you up in 5, w/ iida and krishima. No girls.

And what's better than a boy's night out?

#

BEEP! BEEP!

"Get your ass outta your house, TODOROKI!" Kaminari shouted from his 2020 Ford Fusion. How that guy got a licence is a mystery to us all.

As soon as I reach the car, I am greeted with spiky red hair and a sharp but soft smile.

"YO!" Krishima waved his hand and slid inside for me to enter. Iida was on the front seat, looking as if he was about to die.

"Kaminari, you cannot drive" Iida kept on saying but no one listened.

"Fasten your seatbelt!" Kaminari shouted at which Iida winched. It is always fun to watch these two together. Poor Iida was holding onto his dear life as Kaminari pressed the accelerator.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of driving and a five-minute lecture on "how to drive when others are with you" by Iida, we were in front of Midoriya's apartment.

"LET'S GOOOO!" Kaminari shouted.

"What are you shouting about, you idiot?" said a very cold voice from behind, "stop shouting, people live here. And turn off your car you idiot."

"Areeeee! Bakugo!" Krishima smiled, "what are you doing here? Don't you hate Midoriya?"

"I LIVE ON THE NEXT STREET!"

"Look, now who's shouting?" Kaminari poked the beast.

Why do you do stuff like this, Kaminari? I thought as we saw Bakugo's expression become bloodthirsty.

"OYE! Both of you stop!" Krishima intervened, "you are no longer in middle school, have some manners, please!"

"HMPH"

"Krishima… you are no fun" Kaminari pouted.

"I saved your sorry ass, Denki!" Krishima countered.

This is not what I thought the night would look like. I need to relax and eat Midoriya's amazing brownies. That tiny little boy with green hair might look really harmless but he is probably the best person I have known. Except from Deku.

Anyway, I don't know how but Krishima managed to convince Bakugo but all five of us ended up in front of Midoriya's doorstep.

"H-hii" said a very small voice as the door opened. Classic Midoriya. Despite his appearance, he is really a wonder. He is shorter than all of us and a hell lot cuter. And it first time we met him; he was this timid skinny little dude with wild green hair. Although his hair is still wild, he is a lot more open to us now. I like that.

"Yo! Midoriya, it smells amazing in here!" Krishima said removing his shoes.

"Thanks, Krishima!" he replied, with a smile. I swear to god, if I wasn't already in love with Deku, I would for sure fall in love with Midoriya. But right now, I don't want to think about my life's problem. So, I removed Deku from my mind and ate the delicious non-weed brownie Midoriya made.

Somewhere between that, I made up my mind to help Shigaraki.