Hello, new chapter! Enjoy. Reviews make me work faster!
Just to make it clear Naruto is 16 when he becomes a Jounin and nearly 20 at present
Naruto grimly informs Kakashi, Two years and 3 months after realizing the gravity of his feelings, on a simple routine sparring match.
"You're number three." He ducks at the jab aimed towards his shoulder.
Naruto, honest to god, tries not to pay attention to gossip mongers—Sai, in this case— considering half of it is about himself and Sasuke, or himself and Sakura, or Shikamaru and Temari. So it's totally not his fault—he after all couldn't help overhearing how he was polling behind the older jounin in a not-so-surprising list of 'Hottest Shinobis of Konoha'.
"Pardon?" Kakashi says distractedly while he lands directly behind Naruto, focused on the blonds' footwork so he can catch him off guard.
He is also polling behind Kotetsu for some reasons.
"The list of hottest shinobis," Naruto explains jumping away from the copy-nin. "You're number three."
And I am barely reaching the top ten, ugh.
"Interesting," the older jounin says like it's of no concern. He had suddenly rolled over to where Naruto stood and attacked with another jab, which hits him this time. "What about you?"
"I am number nine—ouch," Of course, a kick on his shin.
Kakashi doesn't reply and that seems to be the end of their current conversation.
Well at least, until Naruto is lying on his back and coughing up dirt. "I wonder how they came to this conclusion, who are the editors and how are they qualifie—"
"Seriously? Stats, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto sits up a little peeved. "Aren't you flattered? Little bit?"
Kakashi straightens the hem of his dark blue standard t-shirt, his flak jacket long abandoned—Naruto had grabbed it while he was going down and had almost pulled it off as a last-ditch attempt, revealing what must be a six pack. At minimum.
He tore his gaze away immediately; face flushing for different reasons than just exhaustion.
"Of course, Naruto. Outranking you by six positions is by biggest accomplishment." Kakashi drawls.
"Oh, come on! You aren't pleased?"
This time Kakashi looks at him with a sort of smug expression, the one that precedes mocking and comes close to genuine bastardy-ness. "Do you think this is the first time I got on that list?"
Naruto blinks owlishly and then scowls. "Yeah, fine, asshole. Everyone thinks that you're hot."
Kakashi crouches, ready to re-start the spar. "Maa, you think I am hot?"
Naruto stumbled as he was about to stand and his face probably looks like a freshly plucked cherry now. He stares at his former teacher, heart beating faster than his mind could count the heartbeats. "I…-WELL. You see, you're hot. I mean—"
"Relax," Kakashi laughs but it looked like he was getting ready to take the jinchuriki down again. Naruto wasn't ready, not yet. "I don't care about the list. It's not like I will have some advantage for being within the top five."
"Right," Naruto coughs out. "But it does though, no?"
The flaxen-haired jounin looked a bit annoyed, with what the blond trying to interrupt their work-out. "In what way?" he sighed.
"Well, many ways. People will more likely want to date you and stuffs, for example."
"I see," Kakashi nods solemnly. "I will try to take advantage of that."
Wait.
"Wait. You're planning on starting to go out? Like, on dates?"
For some reason Naruto wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole, just to end the misery he was feeling. The image of Kakashi going out with someone did not help in containing the overbearing anguish that caressed his insides—it felt like burning, like thousands of needles sticking inside his eyelids. Unbearable. He wants to cry like a damn toddler.
"Isn't that what you just suggested?"
"I—" Did he? No. But kind of? A bubble of panic swells inside him and before he knows, he blurted out: "You have to show your face to them!"
Kakashi raises one eyebrow coolly. "I do in-fact show my face to my partners, Naruto."
"Oh," Something untangles inside him. "Okay. So dating. But with who?"
Naruto isn't feeling jealous. Not at all.
The older jounin gave him a bland look, probably shaking his head at the inappropriate question. "With whomever is interested. You did say I have a lot of options."
It's okay. It's fine.
"Uh, do you have anyone in mind?" Naruto swallowed thickly around the rough ball that is stuck inside his throat for the last ten minutes. "I mean, she should, you know. Probably not be a spy. For example."
Naruto knows better than bringing up Hanare, they don't talk about that incident but fuck it. He really needs to know if Kakashi still harbored some sort of feeling for that beautiful woman, who still writes letters to the last Hatake.
(He wasn't stalking; he just saw discarded piles of packages on Kakashi's kitchen table once and Hanare's letter was right on top.)
"Naruto." Kakashi says it like a prayer, or perhaps he was begging. "I will make sure she or he isn't a spy. Are you happy?"
She or…?
"Okay," She or he?! "Okay, good. Nice."
Naruto considers that he did a great job at keeping consistency in his speech, taking in the fact that his head just exploded. Catastrophically. She or he.
The older jounin nods, content with the reply, and goes back into crouching. Naruto doesn't take the hint and blurts out, exploded head and all that.
"The dating thing…what about me?"
That's it. Years and months and days of longing, pinning for those warm arms to wrap around him, a husky voice soothing his insecurities—and crying into his pillows sometimes thinking no no no he is not for you he doesn't even like you—Naruto asks him out and Kakashi just—
Kakashi sighs.
"You're still within the top ten, ne? I am sure there are plenty of people who would like to date you. Well, less than me, as I do outrank you, but don't take it to your heart. Now…shall we continue?"
"Wait, that's not—"
Kakashi raises an eyebrow again, impatiently. So Naruto drops it.
The older jounin takes him down within 10 minutes, again, and it hurts like a motherfucker.
"He says he feels connected to me." Naruto says as he unceremoniously enters the Nara compound, straight into Shikamaru's bedroom.
"What the fuck, Naruto." Shikamaru exclaims, sitting up straight from his bed. "It's… 3 am."
"I know, I know." He drops down into a sitting position, legs still shaking with all the pent up adrenalin. "Kakashi-sensei got amnesia. He woke up today and he was all dandy and fine but then he looked me with those soft eyes and asked in front of every-fucking- one how we started dating—"
"What," Shikamaru, with all his intelligence, just woke up and seriously couldn't keep up with the babble of his long time friend and pain-in-the-ass. "Slow down. How did Kakashi-san get amnesia?"
"Um, a missing-nin hit him with a sealing jutsu. He was unconscious for a long time but then he woke up at the hospital, thinking it's still February."
"What did Tsunade-sama said, considering she was over viewing his treatment?"
Naruto shrugged, "Just that it's gonna fade away in time cause it's an incomplete seal."
"How troublesome." The brunette says. He was rubbing his eyes now and Naruto found it was rather adorable, but kept his mouth shut least he is thrown out of the compound. "What's the thing about the relationship?"
"Well…" he blushed slightly at the memory; the ghost of Kakashi's thumbs still sending a spike of shivers down his spine. "He said he doesn't remember how we started dating. When baa-chan asked why he thought we were in a relationship he just said he felt connected to me?"
"Hm," Naruto can't see Shikamaru's thoughtful expression in the dark but can feel the gears running inside his mind.
"He also said he felt whole when I…looked at him, yeah."
This particular image bought a soft smile to his face, and Shikamaru watched with hidden interest.
"Wow." The brunette says like he understood something, something that Naruto didn't.
"Wow what? Wow good or wow bad?"
"Just…wow. You're connected with Kakashi? You're in a relationship in with him?"
"I don't know. I mean, am I? Connected to him? Could he be wrong? There was no relationship after all…"
Shikamaru gives him a skeptical glance. "How often is he wrong? Scratch that, how often does he declares he cares for someone and that they make him feel whole?"
Naruto bites his lips, "Could he be lying?"
"Sure, who wouldn't lie about being in a relationship with you? I do it all the time, I go around beating my chest and telling every citizen how you make me feel whole. It's what keeps me alive, going into the cold, vast—"
"Okay, okay I get it!" he hisses. He came here to have a clear mind, not for being mocked. "So there might be something."
Shikamaru snorts."How did you tell him?"
"…tell him what?"
"That you're not in a relationship, idiot."
"Oh well, um." Was Naruto really twiddling his thumbs like Hinata? "I didn't? We kind of just went along with it?"
"What," Shikamaru barks out.
"I mean! We didn't know what was causing it, it could be the seal too s-so, and we just went along?" Naruto winced. "And what was I supposed to do? He is missing months already, should I confuse him further by telling him the…thing isn't real?"
(The thought that Kakashi was only looking at him like that because of the damn seal was distressing his already cluttered mind.)
"Wow."
"Listen—"
"Wow."
He was using that one word a lot, Naruto wonders if he picked it up from Temari.
"Listen, I will tell you two things." The brunette finally seems articulate enough. "Firstly, how much do you know about the white chakra?"
"Not much, just that it's a Hatake clan bloodline and that it can be used with weapons." Naruto never really thought about it, and everything he knew was just second hand information Kakashi threw his way sometimes. "The clan is very secretive, as far as I have heard."
"Yes, one of the reason for the demise. How troublesome," Shikamaru countered. "You don't know anything about Chakra bonding, do you? Well, it's not like you can get the information in Konoha's archive…"
"Nope," the blond shook his head.
"I found it some years ago, you can't really cloud gaze in Suna and the Kazekage allowed—"
"You mean your brother in law—"
"—me to look into their tower archive. I found some interesting things about chakra bonding." Shikamaru literally tuned out Naruto's leer. "Especially, the Hatake clan chakra bonding."
"Wha…" It was honestly becoming problematic with how much Naruto was always thrown out of the loop. Why are they talking about Chakra bonding? "Isn't chakra bonding a myth?"
"There's always some truth to myths, Naruto." The brunette reached over his bedside drawers, expertly pulling out the pack of cigrrate he hid there. "It's like a mind link. The white chakra once comfortable around another will try to establish a link with them, marking them as their own. Pack behavior, I suppose? You know how dogs and wolves are."
"But—if there was a link why wouldn't he say anything about it earlier?"
Shikamaru calmly took a drag off his cig, turning his head towards the baffled jinchuriki. "Kakashi-san probably had a pack bond with you, Sakura and Sasuke. Perhaps it was muddled and he only took a stock of all the chakra his own was bonded to once he regained consciousness. But you, Naruto, his chakra believes you're his mate."
"Teammate?" Naruto squeaked against his better judgment.
"No. Life-mate, wife, mother of his pups—whatever people with animal hindbrain think. But now, how did it form? Not spontaneously. Not without some very intimate physical contact happening between you two and even then—"
He must have seen it in Naruto's eyes when the moonlight finally hit his face, the way he stiffened with those few words or how he lowered his gaze towards the hardwood floors. After all, Shikamaru was good at reading people and Naruto was mostly open like a damn book.
"Naruto, what did you do?"
He shuts his eyes for a few seconds and says nothing. When he does open his eyes, his friend is still there staring at him, his cigarette long forgotten. Damn.
"Naruto."
"I…"
"Naruto."
"It was just a mishap—"
"How did this even happen?"
"It wasn't even sex—I…I tried. We didn't know what we were even doing!"
"Kami, Naruto…" Shikamaru clicked his tongue. "Great, now you are practically married due to your mistake."
Naruto didn't look at him, sunken into his own thoughts. How will he look at Kakashi after he remembers everything? Will the older jounin run away, disgusted and panicked like that day?
"How long?" the Brunette asks, lighting his cigarette again.
Naruto, for the record, knew what he asking. There was no way Shikamaru couldn't have guessed it by now; he had after all tried his damn best to hide what he felt for all these years. Suddenly, he felt incredibly small, like he was five again and someone broke his windows, again. "Four years, I think. I realized back in Bamboo country."
"Fuck, I never…Guess I have to up my game, huh?" Shikamaru says with a fake cheer. "You're usually easy to read."
"Bet," Naruto says, trying to conjure up a ghost of a smile.
"Oh. Secondly: do keep me updated; I need to know everything about this shit show. The jounin lounge needs something new."
"Shika!" Naruto whined, god forbid if Genma or Anko knew about the situation…"You wouldn't dare,"
"Bet," Shikamaru says with a chuckle.
"I thought you were straight."
It's nearly been two months since that little incident and the following days were very peaceful; there were after all very few A-ranked or S-ranked missions coming up like they used to. This morning, after sparring with Gai and Kakashi in a particularly gruesome taijutsu match, they settled to have ramen at lunch. Naruto offered to pay, setting his plan in motion.
Currently its 2:13 PM.
In the intervening time, Naruto has spent inordinate amount of time and mental energy trying to come up with a strategy on asking Kakashi, in a casual manner, what he meant exactly about dating, and dating other guys in particular.
And if there is any chance. Even a small one. Minuscule. Nanoscale.
That this guy could be, you know, Naruto.
He polished and rehearsed his act, trying out eight different possible scenarios and responses from the older jounin and how he will push the topic towards what he actually wanted to discuss. It's like those tactical diplomatic missions, and even though Naruto wasn't good at them he was good at talking someone's head off—which ultimately swayed their heart. Honestly Naruto was too good at his talk no jutsu, already a grandmaster by the age of eighteen.
Which is why he is trying not to plant his face into the ground when, after barely finishing three bowls of ramen, he blurts out like a fucking idiot, "I thought you were straight."
Very smooth, Uzumaki. No wonder you're still a virgin.
He is frantically wondering if he should make up some excuse, perhaps splash the half eaten ramen on himself and run off just to get out of this clusterfuck, when he notices that Kakashi was looking at him over his well worn orange book.
"…Straight?"
Now Kakashi can be—is—the worst kind of troll, acting like he is an innocent bystander who either wasn't listening at all or was very confused. Like, dude, knock it off. You have an IQ that's as good as the Nara's there is no-way you cannot guess what's going on. Except this time, Naruto swears, he can tell with absolute certainty that Kakashi has no idea what he was talking about.
"Are you not going to eat your ramen? It's getting cold." He says instead, praying to god that Kakashi just forgets.
Kakashi shakes his head and then promptly dumps his pork ramen into Naruto empty bowl. Naruto frowns but well, he was going to order another one anyway.
"Straight, Naruto?" He prompts the blond.
"Well," Naruto starts, rubbing his hands on his neck nervously, "Heterosexual. Purely into the opposite sex."
"Oh, I see." The older jounin says completely unperturbed, going back to reading the little book. To be honest, the blond should have known that it would easier to agitate Kakashi by mixing up the names of village treaties than by asking sex related questions. "That's reasonable of you to think."
"Oh?" Naruto blinks. "Really?"
"Indeed. Very rational. Good job."
Naruto scoffs and knows as far as the flaxen-haired jounin is considered, their conversation about his apparent non-heterosexuality ended.
Which, no fucking way.
(Okay, Naruto thinks, his apparent types are bastards.)
"So…have you dated a lot of guys?" Naruto asks, there was no point of being subtle now.
"Maa, a lot of my sexual partners have been men. I couldn't keep counting," Kakashi informs, and then inclines his head to the side. "You seem surprised."
"No! It's just—" He looks up at the stall's ceiling for a moment. "You know, there was Hanare and then there was this girl from wave…what's her name? Hanuki or Hanaki?"
"Haruki," Kakashi replies drily. "I was only involved with her for information extraction, you know that."
And Naruto knows that but his illogical, overly sensitive heart cannot help quivering at the image—how Kakashi's broad, naked shoulder looked against her tiny hands or how he leaned down to kiss the crown of her head. If he was overly cold to their client or the older jounin during the entirety of that mission, nobody said anything.
Naruto swallows. "Right. Her. You just never mentioned being into guys."
"You mean, over the countless conversation we had about our sexual experiences?"
Kakashi really needs to stop saying sexual. "We had some?"
The older jounin just raised his eyebrows to that. "The point is," Naruto tries again, "I feel like I didn't know this really important thing about one of my closest people."
At this, Kakashi's eye's softens. "It's not that important, Naruto. While civilians and clan heads prefer heterosexual couples for reproductions, the shinobi world doesn't give a hoot. We die young, so we…love like that too. Hell, I lost my virginity at the age of thirteen. I just don't think anyone cared, from my time."
Naruto sees something flash inside Kakashi's eyes, like he wants to say something more but stops. "Well, I am not from your time Kakashi-sensei. So I do care."
"True," He closes his book, "But what difference would there be, had I told you?"
It's there.
The opening Naruto was waiting for all along, served by Kakashi on a silver platter.
The one in which Naruto tells him many things, like how sometimes it's hard for him to concentrate during mission if Kakashi leaned onto him, or how he wasn't able to sleep night after night even if the mission Kakashi went to was just a lowly B-rank, or how the image of Kakashi loving and caring for someone else makes him want to scream like a toddler, how he learned and perfected Kakashi's gross favorites just so he can cook for him one day, and that watching stars and talking about them wasn't that boring if it meant that Kakashi could be with him.
Or maybe, just that he likes Kakashi a little more than how one should like a friend or a superior.
And that Kakashi might like him too, if he gave Naruto a chance.
So he swallows and searches for the right word, the right tone and right time—the process not made any easier with how the older Jounin was patiently staring at him. He thinks, he should just say it casually like "I would have asked you out then," which won't horrify the elusive copy-nin, or make him realize Naruto was pinning for years—
"Naruto-kun, Kakashi-san." Sai's emotionless voice drawls out from his left somewhere. "Tsunade-sama calls for team seven."
At this point Naruto is not even surprised.
Naruto offers to bring Kakashi back to his apartment and it takes a moment for him to register why Sakura was giving him such a puzzled look.
Right. 7 month memory loss otherwise fit as a fiddle.
It could've been worse, for sure. The copy-nin could've lost almost 20 years of memories and it would have been difficult explaining who exactly they were and that how his sensei was dead, or even if it was just a few years Kakashi wouldn't have known that the fourth shinobi war happened and his best friend caused it.
Or maybe it could have been just a few days, which would have left them on the same page regarding the chakra bond.
"We don't live together?" was the first thing out of Kakashi's mouth once they entered the small, tidy, barely lived in apartment. There is furrow between his brows and Naruto wants to rub them away.
"Um, no." Naruto says after a beat. "Nobody actually…knew."
"Oh," the older jounin exclaims, "I blew our cover back at the hospital, didn't I?"
Even with the relevant situation a laugh bubbles out of the blonds' mouth, "Yeah, you sure did."
"How new is this?"
Ha. "Very." Kakashi doesn't focus on Naruto's one word replies.
"What about our team?"
Naruto walks over to open the window, letting in air and light so Mr. Ukki on the sill can breathe a little. Taking a deep breath himself, he turns around still avoiding Kakashi's intense gaze. "Sakura-chan knows."
The adjoining kitchen table was surprisingly cluttered, left with mails and boxes. The jinchurki felt his fingers twitching with restlessness so he starts gathering the papers around to form a short of semblance—inside his mind, or otherwise.
"I see," the older jounin's deep baritone sounded nearer than it was a minute ago, and when Naruto finally turns to look he finds him just a few inches away. Not excessively close, just intimately, but definitely closer than Kakashi's would have preferred being if his memories were still there.
Naruto loves it.
This in turn, makes him feel suffocated. Because Kakashi-sensei should know that…
"Listen, you should know—"
But whatever Kakashi should know gets lost in the way when a strong arm wraps around Naruto's waist, pulling him closer so that his hips were touching one taunt abdomen, a chin sits gently on the crown on his head. He can't breathe.
"You're distressed, Naruto." Kakashi says, the rumble of his voice sending shivers down the blonds' body. "Let me help you."
He feels his face heating up, his neck already hot but also couldn't help feeling…awfully calm. Very comfortable, very warm and very sleepy. It's as if all his nerves are made out of jelly now, and all he wants to do is fall asleep into the warm embrace. It felt like home.
He was also aroused. Not the urgent kind but a pleasant one, even enjoyable. Nothing like the last time—
"What did you do?" His voice is raspy, drowsy even.
"Just used my chakra to de-stress your muscles, very convenient, huh?" One of Kakashi's hands moved upward, pushing the blond unruly hair off his forehead—his face is now directly opposite to Naruto and he was looking at him with such an intense gaze.
Huh. Perhaps he was hornier than he previously thought. "You have quite a few tricks up your sleeves, sensei."
Okay, calling him sensei now was a bad move. Naruto flushed at his own wordings
"Drop the sensei, you imp." Kakashi chuckled, his fingertips again rubbing along his cheeks. The older jounin, undoubtedly, thinks that standing flush against each other, breathing the same air, touching is something they do regularly.
Naruto swallows thickly, a little dazed and wanting nothing else. But, he needs to tell him this was not right. Set the record straight before Kakashi gains his memories back. And yet before he could say one word, he hears the telltale rustle of clothing and—
Oh god.
He is so fucking hot.
There he was, blushing like a young maiden; looking up at the mask less face of one of the most gorgeous man he ever met. Kakashi was looking down at his wide eyed expression, grinning and—there were dimples— and Naruto thinks he will die right about now and—
They were kissing.
Naruto felt his eye rolling backwards before he closed them, concentrating on the soft, warm but slightly chapped lips. It was no way his first kiss but it just felt…different. It wasn't very passionate, just soft and homely. The one he thinks his parents would've shared after a long troublesome day.
It was the best kiss Naruto experienced.
Kakashi moved away, and Naruto whimpered unknowingly. He opened his eyes then, quite reluctantly and found the soft grey ones already staring back.
It was too much. He needed to cry.
"Naruto," he starts, "You know I have a great sense of smell, right? Well…I can literally smell any physical reactions."
That does it. Kakashi can apparently smell his hard-on. Does that mean Kakashi could always smell his arousal? Oh no…
Naruto clears his throat and then steps back from the embrace. "Please rest. Read your book, whatever you do." Waving his hand to prove a point, also to dissipate the awkward position. "I'll be back, soon."
The younger jounin practically runs towards the door, stopping short when he hears Kakashi call out for him.
"Naruto," he says, then blinks, then looks up again, His mask-less face is really emotive and beautiful, Naruto concludes. "I may not remember how we came to be. But it changes nothing."
Naruto swallows, nodding. He leaves.