Chapter 2-Guidelines
All of Blaine's worry and anxiety had been for nothing. Blue never responded. Now, Blaine was even more concerned. Blue was a Warbler, and he was in the room right now listening to the council argue once again about song selection for regionals. Blaine sighed and attempted to refocus, failing miserably as his thoughts once again drifted off to the puzzle of Blue and whom it might be.
"But it's not in his natural key," Thad argued.
"Of course not, because Beyonce happens to have a slightly wider range than our Blaine, but I'm confident that he can make it work," Wes countered. "Although I'm not sure Bills, Bills, Bills sends the most positive message. How about Survivor? Blaine, what do you think?"
"Earth to Blaine!" David said, waving his hand in front of the lead singer. "You ok?"
"Yeah, yeah. Can we continue this discussion tomorrow? I have this paper due and I'm afraid I just can't focus right now."
Wes nodded. "You heard him, Warblers. Keep brainstorming more ideas for the final song for Regionals. Practice tomorrow at 5:00. Dismissed. Blaine, a word?" the captain said as the rest of the Warblers except the council members filed out of the room. "You ok? You seemed really distracted. Is it really a paper? Which class? English Lit? We could talk to the instructor and get you an extension, or we could lighten the load a little bit," Wes said, and then bit his lip slightly.
"Or is it something else? Are things at home ok? You know you can talk to us if needed."
"No, no, no. Nothing like that," Blaine smiled. " I really am just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Nick get ahold of a bad burrito again? I don't blame you for crashing in our dorm after that," David laughed. "I think your walls might have some permanent damage from the methane gas."
Blaine chuckled. "No, it's fine. I've got that big presentation next week, and I guess it's been distracting me. I'm sorry. I promise I'll be more focused tomorrow." Blaine hesitated a moment and then added. "Hey, guys, have you ever read Dalton Underground?"
"I swear, I really was trying to help her get that stain out of her blouse," David blurted.
"Oh, I'm sure you were, never mind what the stain was from in the first place," Wes chuckled, grinning widely at his friend and roommate. Then, his face turned more serious. "Why? Is there something pertaining to the Warblers? Do I need to alert the headmaster about anything?"
"No, no, no. Just a bunch of gossip. Nothing to be troubled with," Blaine sighed.
"You mean, the supposed confession from the gay Warbler?" Thad asked.
"You read it?" Blaine asked in surprise.
"Of course I have, and I have to say that the guys from the Dalton wrestling team have reached a new low this time. They are trying to spice up the rumor mill and create drama. Although I do have to say they were a little more innovative this time," Thad replied. "You know how jealous they are that our group actually wins and has people begging to join. Petty miscreants."
"So you don't believe the letter is authentic?" Blaine asked, attempting to work a loose curl back into place with his fingers. "There have been gay Warblers before, right, I mean besides Trent?"
Wes nodded. "My Freshman year. Percy, one of our tenors. I guess the rumors have persisted since. Does it bother you, a gay Warbler? I mean, you know that we have a non-discriminatory policy. We can't exclude anyone based on race, sexual preference, or religion."
"Of course not. No. I'd never want to discriminate against anyone. I mean, Trent is a friend as well as a team member. I guess I just wondered if you guys had read it and if you thought it had any merit."
Wes frowned. "Regionals are in one month. I'm not giving merit to any sort of distraction meant to knock us off our game. They're trying to steal focus. But we'll show them when we bring home that title and are sent to Nationals. Now, go home and get some sleep. See you tomorrow in rehearsal. Bring your game face," Wes smiled.
"I would say I always do, but today sure was not a reflection of that. I promise I'll be better tomorrow," Blaine sighed, dropping his head as he stepped into the hallway and ran right into Kurt, causing the brunette to stumble and drop a stack of books from his hands.
Blaine immediately stooped down and began to pick them up when he suddenly froze. While most of the books were just textbooks, one was a magazine, Popular Mechanics. "I didn't know you liked cars," the soloist said as he handed the magazine back to Kurt.
Kurt nodded as he continued to straighten and restack the books. "Um, yeah. My dad's a mechanic. It's something we bond over. I even help him in the garage sometimes, although not as much as I used to since he has Finn to help."
"Finn's your brother, right?" Blaine asked as he stacked the last book, pausing a little as his hand brushed Kurt's hand.
Kurt looked at Blaine and nodded, "Yeah, my step-brother. He's pretty cool." He stood back up and readjusted the books in his hands. Blaine motioned 'may I,' and took half of them, and they started walking toward Kurt's and Jeff's room.
"He's the tall quarterback that's dating Rachel, right?"
"Yeah, I forget that you know Rachel. How's rehearsal going?"
"For West Side Story? As good as it can be when I have to make out with a girl like Rachel on a daily basis," Blaine said, then facepalmed when he realized that he just insulted one of Kurt's friends. "I'm sorry. I know she's your brother's girlfriend."
Kurt laughed. "Are you kidding?There had to be at least a dozen times that I wanted to tape her mouth shut while we were in Glee together. She can be absolutely intolerable. So don't be sorry. Actually, I'm relieved that she gets to you too. I was beginning to think you were immune," Kurt smiled. " Besides, it's not like you insulted my girlfriend."
Blaine chuckled. "So how is Brittany? I know it must be harder on you two this year since you're rooming at Dalton now," Blaine stated.
"Yeah, a little. But we're making it work. We talk and skype all the time. In fact, I just got off the phone with her. That's why I had to leave Warbler practice early today. I had my phone on mute because you know how Wes is if one goes off in practice," Kurt laughed. Blaine chuckled and did the cuckoo motion with his empty hand. "Anyway, my phone was buzzing like crazy, and it was Santana."
Blaine cocked his head to the side. "I'm sorry, who?"
"Britt's best friend and admitted bitch of the Cheerios," Kurt replied. "Santana texted me that if I didn't answer, she'd sneak into my room and replace my hair spray with spray adhesive. So, I answered and she proceeded to tell me that Sue's crossed over from nutcase to absolute psycho territory."
"Sue, the crazy cheer coach? What did she do this time?" Blaine smiled
"Apparently, she's trying to talk Brittany into being shot out of a canon, like they use for those circus acts or something," Kurt replied.
"Wait, she's trying to do what? Is she insane?"
"Certifiable," Kurt replied. "When I was on the squad, she spiked my protein shakes with Visine so I'd lose those last ten pounds. All it accomplished was a horrified guidance counselor when I hurled all over her shoes. That just scored me more points in Sue's book because she has some vendetta against Ms. Pillsbury," Kurt laughed.
Blaine cocked his head in disbelief. "Isn't that extremely dangerous? Wait, you were a cheerleader?"
"Yes, and yes," Kurt chuckled, "Hence why I quit the squad. But Brittany didn't want to quit. She loves being a Cheerio. Wait, why aren't we going back to practice?"
"Wes dismissed us early," the lead warbler replied.
"Wait, what? Was there a fire in his dorm or something? Wes never dismisses practice early. What's wrong?"
Blaine shook his head. "It was all my fault. I tuned out of the conversation one too many times, and they took that as a sign that I needed to sleep," Blaine replied as he started walking slowly down the hallway. Kurt paced along beside him.
"Are you having trouble sleeping? You can borrow this. It always does the trick," Kurt said, handing him a thick biography.
"Charlemagne. Yep, that would do it," Blaine chuckled as they continued on down the hallway. "Unfortunately, I've already read it. I had that class last semester," Blaine smiled, handing the book back to Kurt. "Besides, you'll need it for research. You'll have to write a pretty lengthy report on it at the end of the unit, and he'll want you to cite page numbers in the references."
"Oh dear god, are you serious? I wish I would've known that upfront. Why didn't you warn me? You mean, I'm going to have to suffer through this stuff again?" Kurt groaned.
Blaine slowed his pace and smiled slightly at his friend. "I got an A on my report last semester. I could help you with it. It wasn't that bad."
Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand. Blaine felt his heart start to race as the brunette grinned in excitement. "Wait, seriously? That would be amazing! When will you be available so we can go over it?" Kurt exclaimed, still holding Blaine's hand.
"I'd say this evening, but Wes will kill me if I come in tired and unfocused two days in a row, and then my weekend is jam-packed with this project. Maybe the Friday after next?" Blaine offered, hoping that Kurt didn't notice that their hands were still joined.
Kurt let go of Blaine's hand. "Can't. Friday night dinners. Dad doesn't like me to miss them. My brother usually has games as well. Brittany cheers as well, so I like to go and support them both. You know, be a good boyfriend and brother and such. Next Saturday?"
Blaine frowned at the loss of warmth from Kurt's hand. "I can't. I have practice at the community theater."
"Yes, of course,"Kurt smiled. "When's the show?"
"In three weeks, which is good because we are nowhere near ready to put on this show in front of people. Tell you what. I'll look through my old notes and see if I can find them, and we can go over them some time next week after Warbler practice. Will that work?" Blaine asked as they arrived at Kurt's door.
"Sure, just text me. I'll see you tomorrow at practice," Kurt said as Blaine gave him the rest of his books back. "Thanks for the help."
"You're welcome," Blaine smiled fondly as he turned around. Suddenly, he heard the chime of his notification on his phone. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the alert on his phone.
Email from Blue45801
Blaine cocked his head to the side and grinned widely, shoved his phone into his pocket and practically dashed to his bedroom, hurriedly unlocking his dorm door with his keycard and slamming it shut with such force that a picture frame fell off the wall. He shrugged, thinking he'd get it later. He quickly glanced around his room for any sign of Nick before sitting down at his laptop, turning it on, logging in to his email and pulling up the reply that he'd given up hope on ever receiving.
He tapped his fingers on his desk nervously as he opened the message, hoping that he hadn't overstepped in replying to Blue's message, but his anxiety dissolved as soon as he read the greeting.
Tony, eh,
You're mighty sure of yourself, aren't you?
As for Jay Z not being a former Dalton boy, damn! That was the whole reason I transferred here. It was all an elaborate ruse to get closer to the Queen B herself. Now, my plans are foiled. So thanks for that. And as my memory serves, Blue Ivy is their daughter, which means she can't attend Dalton, so you're correct in your assumption that Blue is not my real name, just like I will assume that your name isn't actually Tony.
Blaine's face erupted in a massive grin. Blue had an amazing wit about him, that was for sure. He scrolled down and continued reading.
Your family sounds great, although a little intimidating. So you have a relative that's big stuff too, huh? I understand that completely.
As for your friends, they sound wonderful. It actually made me tear up a little. I like Dalton, and the guys are a lot nicer than the kids at my former school, but I do miss my friends. I just don't feel like I've been able to open up and show my true self here. I guess that's why I snapped and posted my big confession on Dalton Underground. I was just fed up with feeling alone.
Blaine nodded as if his new friend could see him. He wished that he could. It'd be nice to talk openly and freely with someone about his sexuality or other things that mattered to him instead of being on autopilot and talking about the same old, same old.
So, how did it come about, your sexual awakening? When did you realize? I have to admit I started questioning things a few years ago when I saw the Avengers movies with my friends. One of my friends said Chris Evans was hot, and I had to bite my lip to keep from saying 'hell yeah!' Unfortunately, the locker room was where the actual realization hit. That's where I went from believing that I was just a forward-thinking guy who could admit that another guy was attractive to taking cold showers to hide my arousal. I was terrified. I heard the insults and jokes they made about some of the other guys if they were dumped or failed to round the bases with their girlfriends. Sometimes, they were even directed at me until one of the other guys pointed out that I scored the winning points in the only game we won that season and I had a girlfriend, unlike half of them. It shut them up for a while.
As for the coffee thing, our school has a Keurig in the lounge. What did you expect? I, myself, would be much bitchier and less alert without my caffeine fix, especially with the reading material some of my instructors have assigned lately. I mean, at this point, I might as well just gnaw on the coffee beans while drinking Red Bull if I have any hope in making it through this text. Kill me now!
I must say, I was relieved to receive your email. I totally panicked after I posted on the site, and I deleted it the next morning when I realized how stupid I had been to broadcast my secret like that. I was honestly shocked that the word GAY wasn't stamped on my forehead or that the Warblers didn't stampede my room with a medley of Diana Ross songs this morning. (Sigh.) I did hear some chatter about the gay Warblers in the cafeteria today, but I have been hearing those same imbeciles making those same lame jokes since I transferred here. I'm guessing very few people actually saw my confession. I'm glad you did though. It's actually a huge relief that I have someone to confide in now, and that I'm not alone.
That being said, I thought we needed to set some guidelines. I mean, we both seem to be safeguarding this secret, and I'm honestly not ready to come out. I suspect that you aren't either (hence, the reason you called yourself Tony.) I know for a fact that there are currently no Warblers with that name (I checked). So, here's what I propose:
No specifics about our friends and family. If you notice, I kept things very vague. But what kind of friendship would that be? Personally, you may vent to me about anything. Just change the names and specific details to protect the innocent.
No meetings. I mean, we probably know each other anyway, and anything like a date or arranged meeting could turn into a big scene or an accidental outing, and I don't want that.
This stays platonic. Yes, I know this sounds quite egotistical of me, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I want one eventually, but not if we couldn't be out in public and just be ourselves without the fear of being ridiculed or persecuted.
This is a safe place. No judgments, no criticism, although I won't promise there won't be a snarky retort every now and then. We can speak freely and openly. I mean, I already know your deepest, darkest, secret. You might as well spill your guts.
Blaine already felt comfortable spilling his guts to this stranger, although he wasn't quite sure why that was. Actually, when he responded to Blue's original message, he'd hope that they could meet in person. However Blue wasn't comfortable with that yet, so he'd respect the above terms in hopes that Blue would one day become more open to the idea of them meeting face to face. Although he wondered why he cared so much already. He had no idea who he was talking to. This guy could be a total jerk. For all he knew, it could be Sebastian. Sebastian was new to the Warblers. What if the guy he was speaking to was that pompous jerk who always insulted Jeff and Nick? Blaine sighed and continued reading.
So, are you still interested in whatever this is we've started? If not, you don't even have to reply. I understand that I may be asking a bit more than you bargained for, but I just don't want this to turn into some big blown up mess. I mean, I started this by posting on that site, and you were gracious enough to reach out in my moment of need, and I just don't want to be the reason that your or my secrets are revealed to the masses. I swear that I will adhere to these guidelines as well.
Blaine nodded his head in agreement as if his friend could see him and smiled as he scrolled down to read the next paragraph.
I hope to hear from you soon, but I will understand if we part ways here. Regardless, I thank you deeply, from the bottom of my heart for letting me know I'm not the only one.
Sincerely,
Blue
Blaine breathed in deeply as he read back through the final paragraphs. This guy was right when he said that he might sound egotistical. Who did this guy think he was?
Although at second glance, he appreciated the blatant honesty that Blue used. It was actually everything he ever wanted and more from a friendship. No anxiety or fear of judgment. No agreeing to everything to win approval. No extreme gestures to try to make a good impression. Here was a chance to just have an open, honest friendship with someone who already seemed to understand him more deeply than anyone ever had before. Without even taking another moment to reconsider, he began typing a response. He smiled giddily as he thought of the mysterious, quirky stranger who would hopefully respond to his message quickly. Of course, he'd have to send it first.
Dear Blue,
As for being sure of myself, a lot of people would agree with that description of me except for my closest friends. They know better. I have a good show face, and I'm great at masking my true anxieties, but my best friends call me out on it when they are around. What can I say? It's in my blood to be a performer, and a good actor never shows his true feelings on stage, although my brother would completely disagree with that statement.
You caught me. Tony is indeed not my real name, although it has a nice ring to it. :D. And I guess now that you asked that we don't reveal any more personal details, we'll stick to the pseudonyms we picked for ourselves. As long as you don't mind, neither do I.
I'm sorry you feel alone here, and I understand that feeling completely, even though I have had some of the same friends for a while. I believe that the reason I feel this lonely is most likely because I'm not completely being honest with them about my true identity. Once again, it's like I've got this mask on, and I'm playing the part expected of me, being the same boy they've always known. Part of me wants to tell them. I almost expect one of them to blurt out that he's known all along. But then, they make some joke or comment that makes me think that's not the case at all. (Sigh.) Then, I feel confused all over again and even more alone. In all honesty, I was so relieved that you posted your confession because I felt like finally, someone else knew how I felt, and I didn't have to keep this to myself anymore.
I'm sorry you miss your friends. Do you still keep in touch with any of them? Damn it! I so want to ask where you transferred from, but you asked for no specific details which, I realize now, is going to be so much more difficult than I thought it'd be when I started to compose this message. But don't worry. I'll be like the little engine that could and say, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I- well, you get the point. I'll try to be discreet. LOL. Anyway, maybe you could skype with them or do a video chat or something. I know it isn't the same thing, but it's better than nothing. I do that with my brother since he lives so far away. I was about to name the city. Damn this stipulation! I hope to God that I am never interrogated. I am obviously not good at keeping things to myself, or maybe I just feel a connection to you and that's the reason I keep wanting to spill my guts. Yeah, I'll go with that.
My sexual awakening? Um, I was a Freshman, and we were doing a movie night here. Actually, it was similar to your situation in that it was also a Chris from the Avengers, but it was Hemsworth instead of Evans. I know, I know, it's so predictable. I mean, he's a former 'Sexiest Man Alive," but yeah, I remember thinking he could hammer me all he wanted. Sorry, that was crass of me, but you asked, right? You said this was a safe place with no judgment or criticism, and so I guess I'm just testing the waters. Although, I have to admit that I was turned off when he lost an eye in Thor: Ragnarok. After that, I didn't fantasize about him quite so much.
The only winning game? Dang it! Once again, I want more details. I'm an athlete too. Though I won't say what I participate in, I have participated in multiple sports, although I wasn't good at all of them. This anonymous thing kinda sucks. But I'll play along because I want to respect your wishes.
I myself have had to resort to gnawing on coffee beans and consuming too many energy drinks to keep up with the curriculum and activities at Dalton, but at least it's common practice here. As for the reading, some of the books put me to sleep as well. We have so many amazing current authors with modern stories. I mean, hello! Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and there's this fairly new series, called the World of Stories, (or something like that?) that I'd love to read if I had the time, but no. Our curriculum directors insist on having us read everything Chaucer, Dickens, and Shakespeare ever wrote. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think they all wrote some masterpieces, but who's to say that classics aren't being written right now as well. I'd like a chance to choose for myself. Oh, and by the way, I doubt that you really sound bitchy. I didn't pick up on that vibe at all in either of your messages.
Anyway, I saw that you deleted your post because I went back to make sure that I got your email address correct when you didn't respond right away. I guess I was nervous that it was some prank, or that maybe I sent the email to the wrong address and someone emailed it to my parents or something. I must say that I did hear a little buzz about a gay Warbler, but as you said, that's nothing new. You know how some people are. Their team isn't winning, so they have to trash the guys that are. I think some guys are just jealous. As they should be. The Warblers are like rock stars.
So I guess by now, you can tell that I accept your guidelines, although it won't be easy on me to keep my mouth shut. However, if you can do it then so can I. As for the no meetings, what's to say that we haven't met already? Heck, we could be in the same boarding hall for all we know. I guess I can't even talk about the crazy shenanigans that go on in my dorms. Boo! That would've been fun because some of the guys pull off some outrageous pranks. Oh well. I guess I'll have to keep tight-lipped on those too.
As for the platonic thing, I guess that's a given since we can't go into specifics about ourselves. I mean, for me to get involved with anyone, I will have to feel a genuine connection with them. I don't want it to be a superficial attraction. When I fall in love, it will be with someone who is my soulmate, a person that balances me out and calms me down when things get crazy. Yes, physical attraction is important, but there is so much more to it. It will be with someone I can truly be myself around, someone who sees my flaws and still wants to be with me anyway, someone who loves me for who I am and not who I pretend to be. Yes, I'm a cheesy romantic, but girls aren't the only ones that want their Prince Charming.
As for guideline four, I think I spilled my guts, and it's time for you to spill yours some more before I say anything else. I hope I didn't scare you off with any of this. And I owe you a big thanks too. As I said, I was in the same boat, feeling alone, and now I don't, so we did each other a favor. I can't wait to read your response and see if you are any better at avoiding details than I am.
Sincerely,
Tony
Blaine proofread his message for mistakes and quickly hit send, filled with a sense of hope that he'd hear from his new friend soon. He opened a document he had been working on for his English Literature project and attempted to work on it, but he couldn't stop thinking of the message he had just sent. Was it too much? Did it sound needy? Was he too stalkerish with his remarks that he wished they could share more personal information? Did he sound pathetic when he said he felt lonely? His stomach was in knots as he sighed and closed out of the report in frustration. There was no way he'd be able to finish his part of the assignment in the state he was in. He picked up his iPhone to make a call when a notification popped up on his laptop.
Incoming Email from Email from Blue45801
Blaine immediately clicked on the alert and opened the email.
Dear Tony,
Oh my God, you don't know how relieved I was to receive your reply. After I sent the last email, I was terrified that I sounded like a crazy person and that you'd want nothing to do with me. Not only did your quick response calm my racing mind, but I also had to check that you actually sent it because I could've composed the first paragraph. That is exactly what my friends would say about me. Have you ever heard the song "The Great Pretender"? It's by the Platters originally but then Freddy Mercury did a cover too, and I think it sums me up pretty well. My girlfriend (yes, I know, I know. I'm such an awful person, but she's amazing, and I haven't found the courage to admit to her that I'm gay) tells me that I am very different when it's just us, and she prefers that version of me because it's more open and honest. I told her I'm guarded, and that's the truth, but that's only part of it. I'm terrified. I'm not popular by any means, but I have friends, and my family is great. But I'm scared that all of that will fall apart or I'll lose everything I know in an instant. And so, I keep performing, pretending to be something I'm not, hoping that everything won't all come crashing down if my secret comes out.
Blaine completely understood what Blue was saying. Hell, he could've written the paragraph himself.
You have a brother? I thought we said nothing personal? I'm kidding. I have one too. I figure that's safe to tell you because you disclosed that tidbit to me first, and you didn't say his name. I know quite a few Dalton boys have brothers so we still have anonymity, right? But like I said, no names. But when I started typing this, I realized that part would be difficult for me as well, especially with you raising such good questions. I totally wanted to answer them. Damn you. Alas, I denied you the pleasure this time, I think?
To answer your question, yes. I still keep in touch with my friends. We talk regularly, but I do miss them regardless. I'm sorry you miss your brother. I'm glad that you keep in touch with him as well. I want to ask where he lives. Damn, those stupid guidelines I asked for. But, they are necessary, so even if I beg, don't tell me.
Oh my God! Chris Hemsworth! So that's your type? Muscles and dashing good looks? It's a good thing we agreed that this stays platonic because I look nothing like him. Granted, I've been told I'm a good looking guy, but I'm no Thor.
Blaine closed his eyes for a second and tried to imagine what Blue looked like. He grabbed the framed picture of the Warblers off his desk nightstand and tried to determine who it was and sighed. Although he knew there were a few people he could rule out, like Wes (not formal enough) Trent (already out) Jeff (no brothers) or Thad (very little sense of humor). It definitely wasn't David, because David was painfully straight. Blaine laughed from relief because he didn't want Blue to be any of those guys.
I'm totally scandalized by your crass hammer joke. I'd be covering my mouth in horror if I hadn't had that same damn thought multiple times while watching those movies, although I agree about the scene where he loses the eye or when he became unkempt. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fat-shaming him or anything. I'm just not attracted to all of the body hair and poor self-care habits. Maybe that makes me a snob, but we said this was a safe place and that's how I feel.
Yes, I am a bit athletic, but not in a conventional way, and no I won't elaborate on that right now. I do take pride in exercise and taking care of myself. So, you are an athlete too? Now, I kind of want to break my anonymous rule and ask which ones. You sneaky, sneaky man. But, I'm not going to ask. Nope. This is me not asking.
You mentioned some great books, and all I have to say is read them anyway. You don't need to wait for them to be assigned. If I had done that in my previous school, the only books I would've read would be Captain Underpants because those books kept popping up in our school library. I'm like, seriously? There are so many amazing authors out there, and we get Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets. Although our librarian was so elderly that she probably thought this was what everybody wanted to read, and judging by some of the Neanderthals I went to school with, she may not have been too far off base. And hey, Dickens and Shakesphere had some great works, although there's a few that I feel have been overdone now. I mean, A Christmas Carol and Romeo and Juliet are both great, but do we really have to read them when some of their lesser works are just as brilliant? I for one wanted to convince Mr. Harris to let us read "A Midsummer Night's Dream" instead, but I was denied. Pardon me for wanting to revive a classic.
He loved that Blue was such an avid reader, although you kind of had to be at Dalton. Blue had a point about reading what you wanted to read. Blaine made it a habit to read books that weren't on the reading list when he had a chance. Right now, though he didn't even have time to be reading this email.
Thanks for saying I don't sound bitchy, but that makes me wonder if we haven't actually met, because I'm an admitted bitch sometimes. Not as much here as my previous school, but there I kind of had to be, because if I didn't speak up about certain things, no one would. I have to admit speaking out like I did kind of got me into trouble. It may be the reason I'm here, and so, maybe it's best to learn to say things a little more tactfully.
Blue did have an honest way about him, as far as Blaine could tell, and it was a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, at Dalton, they were expected to be polite at all times. You could get detention for speaking your mind against the wrong instructor. It's one way that Blaine was assured that Blue had to be fairly new at Dalton. Blue just had this quality where he still spoke his mind despite the fact that it could get him reprimanded. Blaine admired that trait to the point that he wished he had it himself. He read on.
As for your take on romance, did you type that or did I? That's exactly how I feel. I'm a cheesy romantic and would absolutely adore a big, romantic gesture. Hell, flowers and a thoughtful date would be enough to make me swoon, but I have given up hope on that for now, at least until I get out of Ohio. I mean, even though it's more acceptable to be gay now than it was in past years, some people are still jerks and homophobes. I honestly thought about waiting to come out until I get to college, far far away from Westerville. And yet, here I am, out, at least to one person, and contemplating telling my family sometime before graduation. (No, I'm not telling you what grade I'm in, at least not yet.)
And, I think I am a little better at avoiding details than you are, maybe just a little. But we shall see.
Sincerely,
Blue
Blaine immediately began typing his reply, forgetting about the essay he was supposed to finish tonight. He'd get to it later. Some things were more important, right?
Dear Blue,
So I'm really being irresponsible here and replying to this instead of working on this massive project that I have due Monday, but I wanted to respond.
As for the Great Pretender, are you kidding? I'm a big Queen fan, and so that carries over to Freddy Mercury. I mean, the man's voice was one of a kind. Actually, my roommate threatened that if he had to hear "Don't Stop Me Now," one more time, my iPod would be found at the bottom of his fish tank. And so, now I've switched to Bohemian Rhapsody. He complained at first, but then we were both playing air guitar and headbanging until we both had migraines. I've been trying to talk the Warblers into singing that song, but they told me it'd be pretty near impossible to do it acapella. Although we finally do have a countertenor now, someone could hit the high notes. However, I heard Vocal Adrenaline already did that one for Regionals a few years ago, and it was incredible, so maybe we'll just have to settle for another song. Boo. :(
As for being a pretender, um yeah. I get that completely. I've even had a girlfriend or two, but it just never lasted more than a week because the spark just wasn't there. Actually, it was that lack of spark with any girl that helped me realize that I was gay. I won't judge you for having a girlfriend, though I would encourage you not to string her along. If she's really into you, she could end up getting hurt.
Yes, I have a brother, but he's older than I am, and unfortunately, we aren't that close anymore. He tries, and we do have some things in common, but we have very different personalities that make us clash. Some may say that we are too alike in some ways as well, and that could be the actual reason we aren't close. Yes, anonymity sucks. I so want to say his name right now, but I will not.
In all honesty, there's plenty of eye candy in the Avengers. Tom Holland, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Paul Rudd, RDJ, all easy on the eyes. To be fair, very few guys look like Chris Hemsworth, and I don't actually think he's my type. There's such a thing as being too ripped. I think I'd feel much too self-conscious about myself if I had a boyfriend who looked like that. As I said before, I'm an athlete so I do work out and try to stay in shape, but I'm not what you'd call a gym junkie by any means. Actually, most of my friends say that I spend more time with my nose in a book than at the gym.
I don't think that you sound like a snob at all. You have a right to state what you are and aren't attracted to. And I'm not offended because I'm put off by the same thing. If I go out, I want to look nice, and that means that I want my date to look nice too.
As far as the books go, that's some good advice. I think that I will indulge in some of those, but I can't right now. I'm barely keeping my head above water with the workload I currently have. My friends all say that I'm the classic overachiever, and they're right. I'm involved in sports, community activities, and extracurricular clubs. I like to stay busy, and I have a problem saying no to people when they ask me to join things. Earlier, I just agreed to help a friend on a project when I'm extremely behind on my own. Yet, it's 11 P.M. and I haven't gotten very far because I've been having this wonderful conversation with you, and I don't want to stop. But I must.
As for that particular Captain Underpants, it was a good one. It's one of my all-time favorite books. I'm just kidding. I don't like potty humor, but I have a few friends that use it and have read all of those books. I say if it gets people reading, then it can't be all bad. I have read a Christmas Carol recently, and though I enjoyed it, I have to say that I agree with your statement about it being too widely used in our culture. I much prefer Oliver Twist and a Tale of Two Cities. As for a Midsummer's Night Dream, I haven't read that one yet, but now I will be putting it on my reading list.
Hey, none of that, calling yourself names. Being honest and speaking your mind is not being bitchy. I have a deep respect for anyone who has the courage to speak out against injustice of any kind. I'm extremely tactful in nature, but I do think it's important to have the courage and speak up for what's right. I say that, and yet I don't have the courage to tell my own family the truth about me. I guess I sound like a huge hypocrite, don't I?
There's nothing wrong with being a romantic. My parents are both sentimental saps. My dad enlisted me to help him with this slideshow presentation he's making for their anniversary, and though it's sweet, I'm thinking, man, step it up. It looks like a fourth grader made it. Sigh. At least he tries. I offered to help give it some pizazz. See, I told you I overextend myself.
Yes, I do fear that you may be worse than I am about not revealing details about yourself. I must step up my game, and so I must end this here and finish this report or my roommate and partners on the project will kill me, and this will be the last you'll hear from me.
If I do not respond for a few days, send out a search party, because I fell asleep without completing my part. As relaxed as I already feel talking to you, I don't regret it one bit, although I might tomorrow. So until the next time, sweet dreams,
Your friend,
Tony
Blaine hit send as he yawned heavily. He opened his Word document back up to continue where he left off, only to yawn once more and lay his head on his desk for a moment just to rest. His eyes closed involuntarily as he drifted off to sleep.