Takes place during Season 1, sometime before Great Explorations

.

Alex didn't sleep, that was a fact Varian learned to accept.

He didn't notice at first, too busy trying to impress a certain lady in waiting with alchemist tricks and failed attempts at flattery. But after many sleepless nights and begging for the comfort of his cotton sheets, he began to see.

Through his many deliveries in Old Corona, Alex would tag along to offer assistance with the heavy load when Varian was clearly too scrawny to even lift a tone. He would joke that he could handle it, giving his usual cheeky grin with sass in his posture. Still, Alex would only respond by picking the load to carry on her back and wordlessly follow Varian's lead to the many farms and huts.

He never failed to make Alex smile, even when his own attempts at humour fell flat to other willing ears. That day was different as the sun peaked through the cloud-filled sky. Residences were gossiping in the village square of Old Corona and the shadows glazed beneath Alex's eyes. Varian was suddenly made aware of how tired she looked. He felt a small sense of solace as if maybe someone else was just as done with the scorching sun as he was.

But then he looked, really looked.

The dark shade of her bags contrasted against her pale skin and deep scars. It felt like a punch to the gut, as if Varian was seeing Alex for the first time. As if, he never knew her.

She looked awful.

It almost came as a shock to him as he stopped dead in his tracks, Alex barley able to catch on before she too came to a stop with a confused look.

"What?"

It wasn't like he was a saint when it came to maintaining a sleeping schedule. But even he knew when experiments and curiosity could hinder his slumber and how easily it could slip into disarray and obsession. He fell into that trap many times, and always got the short end of the stick from his father.

He pushed the thought away before it could fester any longer.

"When was the last time you slept?" Varian found himself asking.

There was a moment when Alex didn't answer, features diluting and turning away with a sideways glance and heavy eyelids. Until she released a small sigh and adjusted the rope wrapped around her back to allow for a better grip.

"Last night."

She was lying, he could tell as her gaze turned from him the moment she answered. Varian decided to drop the subject and continued his walk down the stony road, Alex following behind without a word.

They continued the day like any other, a job well done. But it didn't feel like a victory.

She never slept when he was around, fixated at his bedroom window and gazing at the moonlit night. He'd find her, knees bend to her chest with arms wrapped protectively around them and never making a sound. Varian didn't bother to ask at first, thinking it was just a one-off occurrence that meant no harm.

Weeks passed, and nothing changed.

Sometimes, Ruddiger would spend some hours by Alex's side curled around her shoulders before accompanying Varian, the action to remaining becoming a burden. By the morning, Alex was already gone, preferably helping Quirin gather wood for the fireplace.

Although, whenever the fire was lit, it wouldn't be long until Alex left and stayed in the spare room for the rest of the evening. The extra room, which was an offer she denied at first but inevitably agreed to stay in. A place left without a companion.

Each night—every night—Alex never strayed from his window, a routine Varian grew accustomed to and never ask or complained. In a way, he almost felt safe knowing someone was there by his side.

Until Varian had enough.

It was one thing skipping hours to stare at the sky, to marvel in its beauty, but endless nights without so much as a minutes rest was a concern. The young alchemist may have been naïve, but he wasn't an idiot.

"How long are you going to stay there?"

He was laying in bed when he asked with a hushed tone, his furry friend by his side. Alex was leaning against his wall by the windowsill, gazing as always. Her eyes lingered like ghosts, unchanging. Unnerving…

She didn't respond, only deepening her frown as the moon illuminated her features. Varian wished he knew what she was thinking.

He wished he could do something to help.

He wished she would just listen.

"You need to sleep, Alex." Then, he added with a smile. "I need you as my backup, remember?"

She graced him with a look, eyes black as coil and swarming in a daydream that refused to disband.

She left the room that night, without saying a word and Varian almost felt a tinge of triumph in his veins.

A few hours past, when Varian awoke to the sound of screaming.

The young alchemist shot up with a start, nearly throwing off Ruddiger if he hadn't managed to catch him in time. He muttered a small apology to his friend, pulling him back up to the safety of his bed and glanced at the window beside him.

For a second, Varian suspected something was happening in the village square. Maybe someone had been robbed?

Or worse, murdered? He shuddered to think.

A loud thud, followed by glass shattering, came from the hallway of his house, echoing against the wooden floors.

His head snapped to his door.

Whatever it was, it was in his home.

His muscles wouldn't move, only able to grip the quilt of his bed in the hopes that whatever it was, was just his imagination, or a nightmare he couldn't escape. All he could do was stare at his door, masked in the shadows and providing what little protection it could conjure from the unknown intruder.

The door swung open, and Varian felt his heart stop.

"Son, are you alright?"

Varian relaxed.

It was Quirin.

"Y-Yeah-"The words were caught in Varian's gullet, swallowing back to try again. "Yeah, Dad, I'm ok."

Ruddiger nestled in Varian's arms, having been equally startled by the sudden appearance of his owner's father. Varian welcomed the familiar touch of fur, helping him through his racing heartbeats.

"What happened?" Varian asked, his words still thick in his throat.

Quirin didn't answer straight away, turning his head over his shoulder as he rested his palms against the walls. He only flicked his head back to his son for a second before making his descent down the hallway.

"Wait here, son."

Like hell, he would.

Varian waited until his father was out of sight before scooping Ruddiger into his arms, close to his chest. The wooden floor creaked at his footsteps, making him cringe at the unwelcomed noise.

"So much for being undetected." He muttered to himself.

Regardless, Quirin didn't come back to stop him and took the chance to peek his head through the exposed opening through his bedroom door. He pushed his hand gently against it, hearing it creak against the iron hinges.

Quirin was still in the hallway, keeping his hand trained to the wall as if to maintain his balance. He stopped dead at one of the doors with his side now hovering over the handle.

The spare room.

As the door opened, the room lit with the moons embrace, and scattered shadows ran rigid across the floor like twisting vines.

Varian, hesitantly, stepped into view.

The first thing that caught his eye was the fallen bedside table draws left thrown carelessly with nothing inside. Surrounding it, was the remaining pieces of a shattered vase. And against the corner of the bed, a boiling silhouette in the darkness was Alex.

He couldn't see her clearly, but from the sounds she uttered, a hitch in her throat and a hiccup of sorrow, he dreaded to think what happened.

Quirin had already knelt down to the broken vase with a heavy sigh, tainted with exhaustion Varian knew all too well. He heaved to his feet and grabbed a nearby broom.

"Don't come in here, Son."

Varian hated it, hearing the almost monotone voice of his father. It was deceiving, hiding the truth beneath a sizzling pan of pent up rage. It screamed at Varian, almost.

Ruddiger fidgeted in Varian's arms suddenly that the young alchemist lost his grip and dropped the raccoon. Varian didn't have time to snap back into reality when his friend scurried into the room and climbed the bed in which Alex didn't move.

Varian wasn't even sure if she was moving at all.

"Ruddiger wait-"

It was too late. Ruddiger had already come close to Alex's side with a tilted head of curiosity. He chirped quietly, a question no one understood, but Varian could assume it was a question of care.

Nothing responded back.

When the critter received no answer, he knelt his head down to sniff at the dark clothes the young woman wore—camouflaged in the darkness—and raised his little paw to rest on her knee.

She flinched back, and Ruddiger recoiled.

"Go away…" It was no more than a quiet mutter.

That was when Varian could see, as the moons raze lowered and the room grew brighter.

Alex, wearing variants of brown, curled against the corner of her bed with her back to the wall and her face partially hiding away in her arms like a shield. Black eyes glimmered with hot tears overflowing as they squeezed through a deepening brow and scrunched up nose. Hands gripped the fabric of her sleeves tightly, digging into the skin and her hair hung rigid across her face. Varian was lucky he had a keen eye, albeit limited in the night.

By this time, Quirin had swept away the remaining pieces of pottery, placing the broom back in its previous resting place softly. A tender touch Varian was not used to.

He lingered there for a while, no one saying or doing anything.

Quirin took his first steps.

Varian almost bolted.

"Dad-"

"Stay there, Son."

So, he did.

There was a thick layer Varian couldn't describe, suffocating his chest as he placed a hand over it, another on the wooden doorframe. His heart raced in his ribcage, screaming to get out and all he could do was watch his father approach Alex's bed with a delicate stance, powerless.

"Go away…"

The warning fell on deaf ears, hindering Quirin's movements no more than Ruddiger moments before. And, despite her rejections, the small raccoon had not moved from his spot. Insistent, on being by her side.

Another few steps were taken, one as equally timed as the next, and a hand reached out. A palm offered.

"It's alright, my dear."

Hot—burning—eyes stared back. Pearly whites with dark ovals swarming in an abyss.

Her hands clenched.

"Don't…"

"It's ok-"

"No-"The guard was broken as her body pressed further against the wall and her shoulders sank, trying to escape—to dissolve from this reality. "Don't please…"

Quirin stopped, satisfied with the space that divided them and knelt down to the wooden floor. They creaked below him, old and worn. A room once lived but faded by time. Memories buried…

"Tell me your name."

Varian blinked. "Dad what-"

"Alex."

She cut him off, frozen on the bed with eyes almost twitching. Varian couldn't tell if she was shaking or if the moons bellowing gaze was deceiving him.

Quirin nodded with a smile. "That's right. Tell me where you are right now."

The words were there, caught in the limbo of her throbbing head. She blinked a few times, adjusting her body and quivering breath. Varian never took his eyes off her, afraid she would crumble if he did.

She looked at him, and all at once, the bombarding emotions clouded his mind. He transcended beyond her, a gateway into her soul, and trailed the broken shards hiding in the dark. He was vulnerable, as she was to him.

He didn't have the strength to look at her anymore.

Neither did she.

"I'm in Old Corona," Alex finally spoke, eyes now obscured. Defeated. "On a bed—in the spare room. I'm staying with Quirin and Varian…"

Quirin kept his smile close and gave one final nod as Ruddiger hung his furry head and laid gently beside Alex.

She didn't move.

"That's right, and we won't let anyone hurt you again…"

. . .

"So, what do you think?"

"I think it looks like a cement mixer."

"It's the Elemental Remogrifier! This will be the highlight of the Expo! I can feel it!"

"It still looks like a cement mixer."

Varian sighed with a smile, removing his goggles from his face and marvelling at his work. The device was shaded with dark browns and blacks as a cylinder-like shape was attached by iron legs to stand upon the ground. Inside, it glowed a hue of green.

"Oh, shush! You just don't understand the brilliance of alchemy."

With a shake of Alex's head and her arms crossed, she too couldn't help but smile. "Maybe, but I know presentation is essential if you want to convince anyone and, right now, it's not convincing me. Besides, I know more than you think."

"Why are you always so hard to impress?"

"Because I'm an asshole, that's why."

Varian laughed at that, untying his apron and placing it on the table beside the window that was cluttered with test tubes and alchemy books. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Wow, you didn't have to agree with me."

Ruddiger, who sat on the table with a scrumptious apple in hand, chittered with a smirk.

"See," Varian pointed, "He thinks the same thing!"

Alex scoffed; eyebrows raised in amusement. "Of course, he does! He sucks up to you!"

"He does not!"

"Does too."

"He-I don't—Ruddiger, tell her!"

The raccoon was already gone, having scurried away with only a lone apple core left in his place. Alex smirked at her victory. "Told you."

Varian pouted, sticking his tongue out for good measure.

"You're such a child, Varian. I swear."

The two re-joined by the machine, half cloaked with a bleached and worn robe. It didn't look like much, but Varian hoped its purpose would be enough to impress the whole of Corona. Varian had hope, as always. Alex remained sceptical.

"So," Alex started. "How exactly will you get Cassandra to be your assistant, exactly?"

"Don't worry, I got everything under control." Varian boasted with a flick of a hand. "Cassie will help."

"Cassandra," Alex corrected. "And how can you be so sure?"

"She's the lady in waiting, which means a lot of chores to do for the guests at the Expo. I'll swoop in and offer a hand. In exchange, she'll be my assistant." Varian clasped his hands together, his front teeth visible through his smile. "Problem solved!"

"It's gonna go wrong." Alex muttered, causing Varian to give her a playful shove on the shoulder.

"Don't! You'll jinx it!"

"Ok!" Alex lifted her hands in surrender, laughing at Varian's reaction. "You're the expert."

"You bet I am!" The young alchemist reached for the table again, eyeing the bag of sand by the wooden leg.

Everything was ready for the big day, something Varian had been planning for a long time with butterflies in his stomach and a taste for success. This was his big chance, to prove himself a capable alchemist and inventor. To prove his worth to the village of old Corona and the city of Corona.

To prove it to his father— to make him proud.

"The Expo is in an hour," Varian spoke up, dragging the sack to lay beside the machine with a thud and already wearing him out. "So, we best get going."

"And I'm guessing you're gonna make me carry that to the wagon, aren't you?"

Varian gave a nervous smile. "If you don't mind?"

Alex sighed, giving Varian's hair a small ruffle as his goggles slid slightly off his head. Varian scowled at the action, adjusting his alchemic goggles back and Alex couldn't help but smile herself. "Yes, sir."

The two of them began to pack their things for the long journey ahead. The wagon filled with two sacks of sand and the machine loaded with the help of Quirin. Varian was disappointed his father couldn't make it, concerned for the well-being of the villagers. But he tried not to dwell on it too much. The prize was the main goal and kept his mind ahead.

Corona wasn't far by horse and cart, thirty minutes tops, so they had time to prepare. Besides, Varian had already predicted he'd be second to last. They weren't in any rush, but it didn't hurt to be early.

When the cart was ready, Alex grabbed her backpack and slung it over one shoulder while climbing into the back. Varian was by the front, a checklist in hand.

"Do you have everything, Son?" Quirin asked.

"I think so. Can't think of anything else."

"Make sure you don't stray too far from each other. The Expo is a crowded place. You could get lost."

"Don't worry, Dad!" Varian exclaimed with a wink. "I've got this."

Quirin offered a weary smile. As much as he knew he needed to let his son fend for himself, it still made him worry. Especially with what happened with Varian's latest invention.

"Alright, Son. Enjoy yourself."

Varian nodded with a smile, his eyes turning back to the checklist.

When Quirin knew his son was deep in his thoughts over the items needed, he turned to Alex already in the wagon and rested his hands on the wood to lean in with a hushed tone.

"Look out for my son, will you?"

Alex leaned in also. Her tone was equally as hushed. "I will don't worry."

Quirin's worries were dulled, knowing someone was watching over his son. He could relax. "Thank you, Alex."

"AHH!"

Both of them jumped, startled by the sound of Varian with his hands on his head.

"What? What's wrong?" Alex asked.

"My satchel!" Varian cried, "I left it in the lab!"

Typical. There was always that one thing Varian forgot. "Well, hurry up! We leave in five minutes!"

Varian all but bolted to the front door, down the many steps to his lab. The room was all but barren at this point, all the stuff needed now packed in the wagon. It shouldn't have been hard to find his satchel.

But, alas, it seemed the gods weren't on his side today of all days.

"Damn it!" Varian cursed, rummaging through his table and desk draws. "Where did I put it? I'm sure it was here!"

Chitter.

That sound, he knew it!

His head shot up, facing the desk by the window in which the wagon remained stationed. On the table, Ruddiger sat on his hind legs with the satchel strap in his mouth.

He took it back, the gods blessed him today of all days. If not, then Varian swore Ruddiger was like a ghost, appearing and disappearing when convenient. Whichever way, his satchel was found, and that was enough.

"Ruddiger!" the air left Varian's lungs as he rushed over in relief. "Thanks, buddy! You're a lifesaver!"

The raccoon willingly let his human friend take the strap as he climbed onto his shoulder, his trail curled around Varian's neck as he did so.

"You coming along, buddy?"

Ruddiger chittered in agreement.

Varian didn't object. "That's great! You can get to see me in action!" His hand rummage through his satchel, fiddling against the many bottles inside. "Gotta make sure I have that water cleaner; I've got a feeling Cass will-"

He paused, his hand brushing against a particular bottle.

Oh.

Varian had realised he had all but forgotten as he took out the tube, circular in shape. Inside, small green pills the size of a fingertip rattled against the glass. Varian couldn't help but stare at them, conflicted.

Ruddiger noticed, letting out a small cry of concern.

"I wonder if this is a good time…" Varian asked himself.

It had been over two weeks since the incident had occurred with no single word ever mentioned about it. Either ignored or brushed aside for other things to occupy their time. But, during that period, Varian had been experimenting in secret, looking for a way to ease the pain somehow.

He wasn't a doctor, and he certainly didn't understand how it all worked, but at least he could try.

For her sake.

"VARIAN! COME ON! WE'LL BE LATE!"

The sound of Alex snapped him out of it, and he shoved the bottle back into his satchel and made a run for the door without closing it behind him in his hurry. He practically bolted out of the front door and leapt into the cart. He was lucky Ruddiger had a good grip.

"Finally." Alex scoffed while rolling her eyes, leaning her back heavily against the wood, her backpack cushioning her fall.

"You two ready to go?" The driver asked, leaning his head over his shoulder with a raised brow. Apparently, he wasn't as willing to wait.

"Yeah," Varian replied with little breath to spare. "Corona, please."

"You two take care of each other, alright?" Quirin said has his hand patted the wagon twice, a single to be on their way.

"We will, Dad!"

"See you in a couple of hours!" Alex called back as the wagon began to set off and before the two of them knew it, Quirin waved them goodbye in the distance. Until his view was hidden by the many varying hills of Old Corona.

. . .

Twenty minutes had already passed, and the view of the Coronian castle was just beyond the horizon. Ruddiger had all but slept the moment the wagon set off, sleeping in the middle of Varian's lap. Varian had spent much of the journey going over his presentation notes, and Alex gazed at the passing trees in silence. Varian took a chance now and then to glance at her when she wasn't looking. Each time, he thought about bringing it up but backed out before he could. Maybe another few minutes over his notes would be better suited.

That was until the driver spoke up.

"We'll be arriving in ten minutes, you two."

Varian turned his attention from his notes to glance at the castle ahead. Alex, also, adjusting her body to lean in with her palms resting on her knees.

"I wonder what Corona is like." She said quietly.

"Probably like any other city."

"Maybe." Alex glanced at Varian, still deep in his notes. "I expected you to be a little more enthusiastic."

"I am. I'm just—going over my notes."

He should have tried harder to be a little more convincing because now Alex was staring at him with a raised brow. He couldn't help but return the look, staring back at her eyes of dusk.

Tired.

"Alex?" He finally said.

"Hm?"

He wasn't going to say it, there was no point in trying anymore. So, instead, Varian reached for his satchel while mindful of Ruddiger sleeping form and pulled out the circular bottle of green pills.

He held them out to her.

She eyed them, blank.

"What's that?"

"They're pills."

"I can see that."

It took everything to hold back his frustration. Why did it have to be so bloody hard? Why did she have to be so blunt? Why couldn't she just-

He tried again.

"They're pills, for sleeping."

Blank, that's all he got.

It was touchy, he knew that now. That night, as his father stayed by her side with Ruddiger. All Varian could do was stand there like an idiot. There was nothing he could offer, only the occasional water to drink when his father asked him to bring a glass for her. He was useless, a child waiting for direction, guidance.

He wasn't a child, he refused to believe it. He was better than that- he could take a stand and do what was right.

And it was gonna start with her.

So, he sat there waiting with his arm raised and bottle in hand. Alex made no move to take it or even acknowledge it. He didn't waver, he'd sit there forever if he had to.

When her eyes turned away, a part of him wanted to give up.

"I don't need them."

"Yes, you do."

"I'm fine. Varian." She offered him a smile, but it was fake. It almost felt insulting. He was sick of it because it wasn't right. It was just another layer of lies that were kept from him.

She rubbed her eyes, masking the exhaustion.

Varian could feel his arm shaking.

"Don't even try it with me."

Alex looked at him then, her attention entirely on him.

"Just take the bloody thing. Because you're not fine, you're never fine."

His arm wouldn't stop shaking. What was he scared about? Was it the adrenaline from the upcoming Expo? He was fine before, excited even. But now, through some unknown force, his arm quivered, and he felt like he would burst at any moment.

Why couldn't she just take the pills? Why did she have to stay awake at night and never sleep? What made her scream in terror that she refused to sleep? What did she see in his father that caused her to cower away in the darkness? What did she see in her dreams- her nightmares? Why couldn't she tell him anything? Why did she tell his father and not him? Why couldn't she just take the pill-

"Varian?"

He stopped, his thoughts crashing.

They looked at each other, words unable to express anything and Alex could only sit there with her brows low with a sad frown, lips tight.

His arm dropped.

"I'm sorry. I must've sounded really nasty…"

"Varian."

He looked at her again and watched her lips try and struggle to form the words. During that time, she never so much as blinked.

"Did I scare you?"

He froze.

Breathed.

"Y-Yeah…"

That's all she needed to hear before she released a shaken breath and dragged her hand through her thick locks.

"Oh, Varian, I'm sorry…"

Varian shook his head. "No- it's not your fault-"

"But it is," she spoke quietly. "It's always me…"

The wind began to pick up against the tress, the bridge to the city of Corona nearing their path.

As the sound of brisling leaves picked up, Alex lifted her head. It felt like an effort. "I sometimes forgot you're just a child."

"I'm not a child." Varian muttered.

She nodded. "Yeah, I know…"

The change in terrain knocked the wagon a little, accompanied by the vibration of stone. Corona was close now, and the two found themselves gazing at the peach and purples of the castle walls.

When Alex glanced back, her hand reached to Varian's with the bottle of green pills. She wrapped both her hands around his, keeping herself firm.

"There's a lot of stuff that I wish I could tell you, but I'm not ready to load all my worries on you."

"I can handle it."

Alex smiled this time, sad but genuine. "No, Varian. There are things in my life that I can't tell you. Things that—I don't want you to know."

She took the bottle from Varian's hand, twisting its contents and hearing the small rattles inside.

"But," Alex spoke, "If you wait just a little longer, maybe I'll find the courage to tell you." With that, her eyes turned to his, direct and hiding no longer. "Will you wait for me?"

With a breath, Varian managed a grin, buck teeth and all.

"For as long as it takes."