.
.
"*Yawn*, what are you doing…?" Hinata said, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
"Checking your health."
Naruko was wearing a stethoscope. She pulled at Hinata's arm, rolled up Hinata's pajama sleeve and put the blood pressure band around her bicep and pumped the rubber ball.
"Naru-chan, I'm fine really."
"We're not taking any chances."
She put the stethoscope under the armband and inserted the earpieces. She listened intently and watched die dial per the instructions which she'd memorized.
"Hm, one twenty over eighty. That's outstanding."
"You're crazy, you know that."
"Is that news?"
Naruko undid the armband and gently wrapped up the device.
"Luckily, nature is not at play here, genetically speaking. We'll just have to watch the nurture."
She put the stethoscope to Hinata's chest and listened to her heart.
"It sounds fine. I couldn't find the thingy-jigger that goes in your ears and up your nose, but I'm sure I can find one on the Internet."
"You scare me. Can I have some coffee?"
"Try being me. At least you can get away. I'm stuck here."
Naruko followed her into the bathroom and watched her wash her face and brush her teeth.
"What are you looking at?" Hinata asked.
"I want to see if you're getting fat."
"I'm not! Let's go have some coffee."
They went downstairs. The dogs came flying in the doggie door and jumped at Hinata.
"Hey, be careful. Remember there's a baby in there." Naruko gave each of them a biscuit. "Now, go play."
"What did you do to the coffee?"
"It's decaf," Naruko said lightly.
"What's the point of that?" Hinata peered into her mug with obvious distaste.
"Caffeine isn't good for you or the baby."
"You're going to be a real pain in the ass aren't you?"
Hinata poured her coffee down the sink.
"You get used to it."
Naruko poured herself another cup to make her point. She'd already had four. Usually by now, she'd be having heart palpitations from all the caffeine.
"How about we do fifty-fifty?"
"I'm all about compromise." She stuck a coffee can in her pajama pocket.
"I saw that." Naruko tried to grab it.
"Please Naru-chan, I can't function without caffeine. Don't make me go cold turkey," Hinata pleaded.
"All right, but only half a can."
"I promise. Now, what's on your agenda for the day?"
"Psychiatrist's office called yesterday morning. They had a cancellation, so I can go in this afternoon."
She watched as Hinata gulped down as much coffee as she could.
"A lot of sugar isn't good for the baby either."
Hinata ignored her.
"I'm really proud of you for going."
"I'm not sure it's starting out right, though. The receptionist asked for my other Social Security number, because they can't find mine in their database." She rolled her eyes. "I told her I'd have to look for it."
Hinata laughed.
"What?"
"That someone who's bipolar would have two Social Security numbers. One for me and one for myself."
"All right, I guess it is kind of funny. But, you know, I'm a little sensitive about this."
"It's going to be fine. Besides, you might run into your other half someday and we could all have coffee."
"That's not even funny. It'd be like having a twin. Do you really want to have two of me?"
"No. I don't think the world is ready for that." Clutching the coffee can, a now prized possession, she went upstairs to shower and dress.
"Only half of that," Naruko called out to her.
"What~? I can't hear you~, the water's running~"
(◕ω◕✿)
"So you think you're bipolar?" Dr. Orochimaru said. He sat cross-legged with a yellow legal notepad on his knee, his pen poised. He looked like a stenographer awaiting testimony.
"That's what they tell me," Naruko replied, shifting in the straightback chair. Great for your posture, but far from relaxing.
She had considered the couch, but decided it was too Freudian and she wasn't ready for that. The uncomfortable chair seemed indicative of Dr. Orochimaru. He was probably a communist from the old days. Naruko could tell from his looked. He had shoulder-length black hair, a creepy yellow eyes, and a super serious face with unhealthy pale skin. His outfit consisted of purple polyester business suit with blue shirt, blue bowtie and blue shoes. Wasn't there a rule about wearing blue with purple? She couldn't remember. She'd asked Sakura. Naruko wasn't up on fashion faux pas as most of her wardrobe consisted of khaki shorts or trousers and T-shirts.
"I want to ask you some questions. Yes and no answers, only, please."
"You're the doctor."
He nodded.
"You have delusions or grandiose ideas?"
"Yes, I guess I do sometimes."
Naruko quickly ran through her list of mental sins. She harbored a secret desire to win a literary award—that was definitely grandiose considering what she wrote was considered yuri trash and not high literature. She was convinced that she was entirely responsible for Hinata's happiness and well-being. She desperately wanted to come up with some magical elixir to make her beloved dogs live longer than ten years. Goats, after all, live for twenty-five years. No one loves a goat like they love a dog or a cat. Yes, these were grandiose ideas.
"Excessive drug or alcohol use?"
He looked up from his pad and stared at Naruko.
"Only on bad days and in moderation."
The doctor frowned.
"Basically, no."
She figured that was what the doctor wanted. She must curb her smartass tendencies before she ended up in the psych ward or rehab.
"Have you ever thought you were God?"
"No, well, there was that one time in grade school…"
She stopped herself. The doctor didn't have a sense of humor.
"Thoughts of suicide?"
"No."
That one she was sure of. She had too much to do—besides it was messy and her mother would bury her in a dress. She just knew it. Her aim was to outlive her mother and bury her in something hideously unfashionable.
The doctor pursed his lips and seemed satisfied. Naruko was glad. She hated yes or no answers. Nothing was black and white—except maybe piano keys.
"How'd I do?"
"You have a mild case—most fixable."
"No straightjacket then?"
"That was never a possibility. You're a little crazy. So are a lot of other people. You shouldn't worry. Two pills a day and you'll be normal."
He glanced at Naruko and amended his statement.
"As normal as you can be."
He got out his script pad.
Naruko kept quiet and busied herself with studying the office decor. You could tell a lot about a person by their surroundings. Being a writer had taught her to look for useful details in the every day. The entire office was a variety of purples—the carpet, the vinyl chairs and table, the print of the copse of trees and, of course, the doctor's outfit. Now, she recalled that Sakura had said purple was the new black. In the doctor's case this propensity toward purple was not about being trendy. Naruko thought green was supposed to be a soothing color. Maybe purple was the new green. Anyway, she felt she was sitting inside a giant purple box and she couldn't wait to get out. She hoped her dislike of purple, except maybe when her playing her favorite video game character Nep-Nep, would not affect the doctor patient relationship. She had a feeling it would.
"You can pick up the sample pack at the Yakushi Clinic."
Dr. Orochimaru turned around in his chair.
"Don't worry about this. This drug will help you and you should not be embarrassed to tell your people."
It was like he knew that Naruko was keeping it a secret. Only Hinata and Sakura knew about it. She'd never tell her mother.
"Sure, why?"
"It's hard to see change in oneself and sometimes outside intervention is necessary."
He handed Naruko the script.
Naruko disliked the word "intervention." It sounded a lot like incarceration. She wasn't that crazy. Intervention for what? Okay, so she'd been in self-denial about her condition, the mood swings, the ups and downs. But self-denial was in her genes. Admitting one was crazy was like crossing the Sahara—full of sand with thorn brush and queer creatures and it frightened her.
"So there are no worries. We'll take care of this. You'll be much better."
Dr. Orochimaru got up indicating the session was over.
Naruko got up as well glad to be out of the uncomfortable chair and away from her new psychiatrist. They shook hands.
"Make an appointment for three weeks from now. We'll reevaluate."
"Sure thing," Naruko said, hoping she didn't appear absolutely ecstatic for being dismissed. Three weeks was like spring break for a kid.
She went out to the receptionist to make an appointment. A twenty-something scrub-clad woman with green hair studied the computer screen trying to find Naruko an appointment.
"Got it," she said. She didn't bother to ask if the appointment worked with Naruko's schedule. Instead, she wrote the time and date on the card and handed it to her.
"Great," Naruko said, studying the card. She smiled, gritted her teeth and walked out.
Once in the car, she called Sakura.
"How did it go?" Sakura asked.
"Great."
"When you say, 'great' it means it sucked. What happened?"
"My therapist looked like a serial killer and has the sensitivity of frozen tundra."
"Well, you can always see someone else. The network is huge." Then, Sakura changed tactics. "Shopping will make you feel better."
"You're right." Naruko backed out of a parking space and turned onto the main Street.
"You want me to get you a Chai tea to go?" Sakura asked.
"Sure."
She was picking her up at Starbucks—Sakura's second-home.
"We'll have to go to the Yakushi clinic first to get my drug sample pack."
"A sample pack? To see if you like it or not?"
"How the hell do I know?"
She stopped at the light.
"I'll see you in five."
She clicked off and got on the freeway. She really didn't want to be a lunatic on her way to get a sample pack, but she couldn't live on a roller coaster either.
Naruko wondered if extending herself in the writing department had anything to do with it. Perhaps all the subdivision of self that her many imaginary worlds demanded was getting the best of her, stretching the limits of her mind and it was starting to crack.
Perhaps, she should consider telling her people to keep an eye out. They could watch her. She would choose Hinata and Sakura for starters. She felt as if she were electing a bipartisan committee to keep her normal.
She got off the freeway and drove into the mall parking lot. Sakura was waiting outside holding a Chai tea and looking benevolent and understanding. She flounced into the car seat, glanced at Naruko and said, "You look the same."
"What? Psychiatric evaluations alter your physical appearance?"
"Who knows?" She scrutinized Naruko, who didn't move the car an inch.
"I'm supposed to have people watch me."
"And you picked me?" Sakura reached over and squeezed Naruko's shoulder, almost spilling her Chai.
Naruko watched her. Sakura acted like she never got picked for basketball in PE class and her moment of glory had just arrived.
"You've known me for a long time."
"So, I'd be a great observer. Look what I found at the bookstore." She pulled the book out of her enormous purse and handed it to Naruko.
"It's Ruri Gokou's The Looney-Cat World. She was crazy too—only she had acute chuunibyo syndrome."
Naruko exited the parking lot and pulled up to the stop sign. A white SUV ran the stop. Naruko honked and flipped off the driver.
"That's right, rules are just for stupid people. How hard is it to comprehend that a four-way stop is part of the social compact? You have to adhere to the social compact. If we don't adhere to it, anarchy ensues."
Sakura had tuned her out and was instead tuning in the radio.
"Why do you always listen to the national radio? It's so boring."
She found a hip-hop station.
"Because I learn things."
Naruko got back on the freeway and headed up town to the Yakushi clinic.
"Oh, it's my favorite song." Sakura began to sway to the beat.
"Who sings it?"
"Shakira. It's part hip-hop and Latino salsa. I love it."
Naruko listened to the lyrics. "My hips don't lie…" or at least that's what she heard.
"What the hell does that mean? My hips don't lie. If that's the case the cerebral cortex is located behind the cervix. Just think, we won't be needing pap smears anymore. One's hips could give the doctor the A-OK signal."
"You're so literal." Sakura turned up the music and ignored her.
Naruko spent the rest of the drive wondering what kinds of things a cervix would ponder. When she pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, she said, "You can wait here."
"And miss the chance to see some handsome doctor? Not on your life."
They made their way to the pharmacy down the hall from the horribly crowded waiting room. Naruko handed over her script and the pharmacy tech disappeared into the rows of drugs.
A handsome bespectacled ash-grey haired doctor walked by. He said hello to Naruko. She and Sakura watched him walk down the hall. The doctor turned around and smiled at Naruko.
Sakura frowned.
"Why do you get all the action? It's not fair. You always get the good looks."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Whenever Naruko looked in the mirror to check for toothpaste remnants on her chin or something hanging from her nose she saw a long blond-haired woman with good teeth, a small nose and a tolerably fit body— that was all.
Sakura continued her tirade.
"Lesbians don't need to be good-looking. All they need is a large collection of flannel shirts and sensible shoes."
"That's complete and utter bigotry. I only have a few flannel shirts and you make trainers sound like square-heeled oxfords."
"What I meant," Sakura recanted, "Was that girl are like chattel to boy. Lesbians are interested in the entire package, not just the tits and butt part."
An elderly woman sitting at the edge of the waiting room gave them a disapproving glance.
"Be quiet," Naruko said, poking Sakura in the ribs and nodding her head in the direction of the waiting room.
"Geriatric crew."
Naruko poked her again.
"When did you abandon your PC rhetoric?"
"Since I decided it was all crap and I should speak my mind. I don't use racial slurs. I draw the line there."
"But it's okay to abuse lesbians and old people."
"All right, already, I take it all back," Sakura said.
"Good."
The pharmacy tech returned.
"I'm sorry the drug rep didn't come today with the samples and we're completely out."
"When will he come again?" Naruko asked.
"No telling, really."
He tossed his ponytail and gave the appearance of caring by giving Naruko a half grin and a hands up gesture. He gave the script back to Naruko.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
"You can take it to your regular pharmacy and they can fill it."
"Great."
Naruko turned around and muttered something unflattering about the inefficiency of HMOs.
"Come on, we'll hit Bingo's on other street and then we can go shopping," Sakura said.
"I hate that store. It's like grocery shopping in a shoebox and I get really claustrophobic."
"Naruko."
Sakura took her arm and escorted her to the parking lot.
"Let's get the pills you need to be a safer, saner person."
"Tch. All right."
They drove across town listening once again to Shakira singing about her hips not lying and something by the Black Eyed Peas about my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. Naruko rolled her eyes, thinking that this was what the world had come to, songs talking about body parts. And she was the crazy one.
The shoebox grocery store parking lot was full of cars. An old man in a black car slowly pulled out of a spot, turning so that the long car was jammed up between the rows and it required much pulling forward and backing up before he got the car straight enough to pull out.
Thoroughly exasperated, Naruko said, "Why bother with the medication—the baby will be in college before we get parked."
"Naruko, it's the middle of the day. These are retired people with diminished reflexes. Just thank God we don't have real jobs and have to suffer the after-work crowd. Now, those people are cutthroat."
Naruko pulled into the spot vacated by the geriatric. It was not to her liking being right next to the cart return, thus putting her side panels at risk, but it would have to do.
"I have a real job, "she contended.
"No, Hinata-chan has a real job. All you have to do is write fifteen a day, keep your editor happy by turning things in on time and kiss your publisher's ass once in a while to keep on her good side."
"I suffer from writer's cramp and chapped lips, you know," Naruko said. She puckered her lips and made kissing noises.
Sakura collected her enormous purse and they exited the car. They entered the store, careful to avoid people with diminished reflexes now armed with shopping carts. The line for the pharmacy was long.
Naruko glanced at Sakura who was studying the labels of diet foods that lined the aisle. She sighed heavily and then whispered, "This is going to take forever."
"No, it's not. These people know what they're doing. Most of them have forty-ryo prescriptions and pay in cash," Sakura responded not looking up.
Naruko studied the older people in line. Waiting was always good for observation. She just had to get in the zone—that place where the person she observed made a picture in her mind, then she logged the details—their appearance, choice of shoes, their hands, the cadence of their voices, word choice, the banal stories they told to others. It all imprinted itself on her mind—stored away for future use.
Sakura broke her concentration. She picked up a Slim-Fast bar and asked, "Do you think this stuff tastes good?"
"No," Naruko replied.
"Why not? It says it does."
"If something is supposed to have sugar in it and they take the sugar out it's like a house where you have removed the studs. What happens then?"
"Why, it would collapse."
"Consequently, sugar-free chocolate bars are studless."
Sakura wrinkled her brow. Naruko smiled. Sakura wasn't one for quantum leaps.
An elderly woman waiting in line ahead of them turned around. "Young lady, that stuff stinks."
She snatched it from Sakura and threw it at the magazine stand. She just missed the bald man with his butt crack showing as he leaned over to reach for the gravure magazine with a woman with abnormally large breasts on the cover. The baldy appeared not to notice the flying candy bar as he ogled the magazine.
"Wow, you've got a strong arm, granny," Naruko said. Not a softball player herself, she still admired the sport.
The old lady smiled. She had sparkling white teeth and red lipstick—some of which was on her teeth. Naruko admired that quality—if you're going to wear it, keep it on your lips and off your teeth. She suspected it was an expense thing—cheap stuff on the teeth, department store on the lips.
"Used to play fast pitch back in the day. I was a first-string pitcher."
Sakura was glaring furiously at the baldy drooling over the magazine.
"Could you hit that pervert over there with the bald head?"
"If I wanted to."
The woman studied him and then pursed her lips in obvious contempt.
Sakura handed her a candy bar.
The old lady smiled.
"This is just between us."
Naruko and Sakura gave her my lips are sealed gesture.
The baldy stood unawares.
The old lady cocked her still lethal arm.
"This is for the ladies, you big pervert!"
She let loose. The candy bar cold-cocked him in the back of the head. He turned around glaring, in search of the perpetrator.
Sakura was studying the label on a Slim-Fast can. The old lady looked straight ahead and then glanced at her watch affecting impatience. Naruko picked up several cans of Slim-Fast as if to purchase them.
Finding no one to blame, he kicked the candy bar, rolled up the magazine tightly in his grubby paw, gave his pants a good yank and started to the checkout counter.
The old lady winked at them after she got her order. As she passed by she said, "Remember, girls, fight the good fight."
Finally Naruko handed her script to a plump young man with a baby skin face, round as a pumpkin. He studied the script.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
Incompetence always turned Sakura from nice girl into Cat Woman. Naruko could tell she'd already been revved up by the baldy pervert episode and this poor bastard was going to get the brunt of it.
"I don't want to tell you your job but two words—fill it."
Sometimes Sakura reminded Naruko of her mother. Even the way their talk has similarities.
"You don't understand. We don't know what a sample pack is." His pumpkin face reddened.
"From what was explained to me, I start with the lowest available dose and gradually increase over a month long period," Naruko said, hoping this would speed up the process.
The plump boy quickly looked up the drug. "This is an anticonvulsant." His eyes got large.
Sakura took full advantage of this.
"That's right. Look at her. She could have a seizure at any moment."
Under the counter, Sakura kicked Naruko in the shin. Naruko doubled over in pain and groaned.
"See, it's already starting. Do you want her to turn into a frothing maniac in the next five minutes?" Sakura said.
"I'll call the doctor. Please take a seat. We don't want her falling."
Sakura and Naruko took a seat on the hard plastic bench at the side of the pharmacy. The geriatrics studied Naruko like they were waiting for something to happen.
"Everyone's staring," Naruko said.
"Seizures make people nervous," Sakura said.
"Uzumaki-san, your order is ready."
At the counter the pumpkin boy handed her a cup of water.
"I think you should take one right now."
Naruko swallowed the tiny pink pill, wondering how drug companies decided on the shape and color of their medications. Then she took out her wallet and paid the two hundred ryo.
As they walked out of the store, Naruko said, "I feel better all ready."
Sakura rolled her eyes.
(◕ω◕✿)
"When are you going to ask her!?" Sakura screamed into her phone.
Naruko took her cell phone into the bathroom and closed the door quietly. She hoped the toast wouldn't burn in her absence. Due to the open floor plan and the subsequent lack of walls, sound carried and she didn't want Hinata to hear this conversation. They were probably the only people in the world who could sit on the toilet or take a bath and talk to the other one in the kitchen from upstairs. Thank God they didn't have any neighbors because they certainly didn't have any curtains.
"Today. I'm going to the greenhouse at lunchtime."
"Why there? It's not very romantic."
"Because I'm emotionally detached. I might get too intense and mushy and I'm not good at that. Besides, I'm paranoid and superstitious. All our friends who got married and had ceremonies in which a strange woman in a long burgundy robe muttered marital incantations are split up now. So I figure if I do it in an odd or unusual way we'll last. Hopefully, the goddess of sorrow will be deceived."
"Naruko, are you taking your meds?"
"Religiously. Why? Don't I seem better?"
"You're not as crabby, but you're still not right. Really, marital incantations and the goddess of sorrow."
"All right, I admit that was over the top," Naruko said.
"Call me after."
She heard the toast pop. She thought she was behaving better. She hadn't said anything mean to her editor, Anko, despite the fact they were in the editing stage of Naruko's eleventh Happy Go Lily series, Love in the Student Council Room. Anko seemed to notice the change, commenting one day that Naruko hadn't sworn at her in the last two phone calls.
She'd seen Dr. Orochimaru three times so far and he wasn't giving Naruko queer looks despite her admission of burying road-kill so in death the poor rabbits and prairie dogs could have dignity instead of ending up in people's tires or being picked to pieces by the ever present crows that sat perched on telephone lines. Dr. Orochimaru noted it down on his yellow legal pad, a look of complete stoicism on his face. This lack of expression concerned Naruko. She wondered if Dr. Orochimaru was really listening or only pretending to the way Naruko did when he was bored, letting his mind wander to someplace more interesting.
She buttered the toast, putting peanut butter on hers and marmalade on Hinata's. Hinata's toast was usually cold by the time Naruko brought it up, but she didn't seem to care. Naruko always got up early. She was like the dogs. Three sets of eyes, one human, two canine popped open like a milkman triggered by the morning light filtering in through the window. Day had arrived, time to get up. Hinata slept late by their standards. Naruko let the dogs out and then fed them their breakfast.
Naruko seemed to need less sleep than other people, excepting Sakura. Dr. Orochimaru had asked about her sleeping pattern and she'd lied. Told him that she got a lot of exercise during the day and that she was very tired at night. She didn't tell him that she slept well at first, but then she'd wake up again in a couple of hours like the computer part of her brain had rebooted. Her thoughts would wind themselves around her until exhausted she fell back asleep again. Even then, her dreams would drift in and out and like a film director she ran parts over and over again, editing and rewriting until things turned out to her liking.
She didn't know why she felt she had to lie. It seemed like it was crucial to not let the doctor know about her most sacred place—the shrine of her imagination. Later she figured it out. She didn't want anyone tinkering with her mind. What if it screwed up her most precious possession—the ability to create? This was a room no one had the right to enter. It unnerved her that every psychiatrist she'd met in her life was always very interested in her once they found out she was a writer, a real writer in their eyes because she was published. They were bigots. Being published was not the Holy Grail. She knew writers who deserved to be published more than she did.
A writer was a person who sat down, invented worlds and described what it was like using the best possible words they could find. She was not going to let Dr. Orochimaru or anyone else into her fictional house of cards to forage. She invited people into this house and tried to put them at ease while she cooked up some surprises. She certainly didn't want that messed with. Now, the other parts of her life did need a little work and the good doctor was quite welcome to tinker with those.
She poured the coffee and put the toast on the tray and took it upstairs. Usually, the smell of coffee got Hinata's eyes open. She set the tray down and gathered up her medical instruments to give Hinata her morning exam. Hinata had insinuated that the daily blood pressure checking was not necessary, but Naruko had ignored her.
Hinata opened her eyes.
"Am I dreaming or is that real coffee?"
"Coffee is coffee. Decaf does not smell different."
She sat up and Naruko puffed up the pillow behind her.
"Ah, but there you are wrong. This is real coffee."
"It is. I looked it up on the Internet. Small doses of caffeine are not harmful," Naruko said.
Hinata picked up the cup. She studied it.
"It looks smaller."
"Oh, I hadn't noticed." She avoided her gaze. "Cream?"
"I never use cream."
Hinata sniffed at the cup deeply and then took a sip.
"Dairy products build strong bones."
"I'm already taking prenatal vitamins."
Hinata set her cup down and took a bite of toast.
Naruko ignored her and added cream. Then she busied herself with the task of taking Hinata's blood pressure.
"Good, it's one-twenty over eighty."
Then she looked in Hinata's ears.
"What exactly are you looking for?" She sipped her coffee.
"I'm not certain, but if something appears different we can immediately go to the doctor. I think it's a sound plan," Naruko said.
"Like what exactly would look different? My eardrum would suddenly go missing?"
She bit into her cold toast and eyed Naruko suspiciously.
"You're not being very cooperative. In fact, I sense hostility."
"We used to make love in the morning, now we check vital signs." Hinata pouted.
"Oh. Well, I can remedy that. It's all right?" Naruko asked, having not researched about pregnancy and having sex.
"Yes."
Hinata put her toast down.
Naruko kissed her and unbuttoned her pajama top. The soft blue fabric fell away from Hinata's shoulders.
"We can do health care and body care," Naruko said as she kissed Hinata's stomach.
"I'll agree to that, but you have to tell me one thing," she said, as she pulled Naruko's T-shirt over her head.
"Anything."
She slipped off Hinata's pajama bottoms and kissed her inner thigh.
"Are the coffee cups smaller?"
Naruko murmured something as her tongue ran around Hinata's soft pink folds. Hinata moaned and Naruko figured she no longer cared about the size of coffee cups.
Later that afternoon, Naruko searched her closet for some decent clothes. Finally, she managed to locate a red scarf, a light orange sweater, a red plaid skirt, and black leggings. After further rummaging and a variety of choice swear words, she found her favorite red boots. Had she known it would take this long to find an outfit she would have began earlier. She fixed her hair, giving it a good brush job, removing most of the snarls, she then arranged her hair into her usual twintail. If she could ever decide which of the seven lesbian hairstyles most suited her she would immediately go to a stylist and get the whole snarly mess cut off. Then she could be more comfortable and trendy, but she couldn't make up her mind so she tried to remember to brush her hair more often and purchased high quality hair conditioners.
Satisfied with her appearance, she left the bathroom and took a quick peek in the nursery. Sakura had done a great job. The walls were a pale yellow and the baby furniture sky blue. She'd covered the wood floor with a plush rug with a sunflower border. Above the crib was a mobile of the planets. Toy cubbies, already full of safe but educational toys, ran along one wall. Naruko went to the dresser, already full of cute little outfits, and opened the top drawer. She pulled out two burgundy boxes each containing a simple white gold ring. She studied the ring meant for Hinata.
"This is for you," she said, addressing the yet-to-be-born, baby.
"I'm not much of a conformist—so this is really hard for me."
She wondered how many one-sided conversations she was going to have with her baby.
"So I hope you appreciate the gravity of the situation."
She must remember not to tell her psychiatrist about these conversations. She could only imagine what Dr. Orochimaru would say. She didn't want any more information than was necessary on the yellow legal pad resting ominously on the doctor's knee.
She gave the dogs a biscuit and checked to make sure all the gates were locked—got to the garage and had to go back and check it all over again because she couldn't remember if she'd done it. Her medication wasn't helping her with her focusing problem. Dr. Orochimaru had suggested meditation. She was supposed to find a class. It was low on her list of priorities. She'd have to remedy that before her next session or come up with a damn good excuse. She managed to get to the road before the panic attack hit. The car jostled so much on the dirt road that she couldn't pull up the call list registry on her cell phone. She stopped in the middle of the road and called Sakura as her neighbor old Tazuna came up behind her in his black truck. She resumed driving.
Sakura picked up immediately as if she'd been expecting this call.
"What if she doesn't accept?"
"What are you talking about?" Sakura said.
"What if Hina-chan won't marry me?"
"You two have been together forever."
"That doesn't guarantee anything."
Naruko checked her rear-view mirror. Old Tazuna was now way behind her. He drove very slowly on the road. People groaned in secret agony if they got stuck behind him. They all referred to the mile-and a-half- stretch of dirt road as "The Road" like it was an entity unto itself. She supposed it was. In the summer, it was bone dry and the dirt devils reminded Naruko of the over-farmed prairies in Kino Journeys. In the winter when it snowed, the juniper and pinon trees were frosted and she felt like she was driving in a snow globe. In the spring, when the snow melted off the mountains the road was a muddy disaster and it was necessary to drive very fast to avoid getting stuck in it. Once she found herself bogged down in her Beetle and had to be towed out by a neighbor with a tractor. Every season presented its own challenge and getting down the road in one piece was always considered a boon.
Naruko, having momentarily drifted off, found that Sakura had moved on to other subjects.
"Do you think that boob cream really works?"
"Boob cream?"
Naruko was now safely off the road and on the smooth pavement of the county road. Her car purred with happiness.
"The one they advertise on the radio. It says it will increase your boobs by three cup sizes and make them look perky."
"Have you lost your mind!? Cream can't possibly augment your breasts!"
Naruko recalled that Sakura was so obsessed with her breast size. She was convinced that men would be more interested in her if she had bigger boobs.
"But the ad says it's a new drug they're trying out."
"So what if this experimental cream turns your boobs green and they become covered with warts."
There was a silence.
"I-I see your point."
"There's many man in this world who loved woman with smaller breast. Stop worrying about it."
Naruko was now stuck behind a tractor tooling down the two-lane county road at twelve miles an hour. She was going to have to pass.
"I better go. Why don't you listen to national radio? They don't have any of those shitty ads."
"Boring," Sakura said. She clicked off.
Naruko waited for a safe place to pass and then blew past the tractor, barely avoiding the wad of tobacco spittle that exited the farmer's mouth as she passed him.
"Yuck!"
In avoiding the spittle trail she nearly hit a rabbit. That would not do. So far so good, no carnage to stop and bury, she thought. She wanted to get to the greenhouse in time for lunch. She'd only left herself a half an hour window. She cursed herself for not leaving earlier, but there had been the scavenger hunt for a decent outfit. It would not do to propose marriage in a T-shirt and shorts.
She pulled into the parking lot with five minutes to spare. The greenhouse grounds were abuzz with activity. May was one of their busiest months. The help, who were distinguished from the customers by their green aprons over white shirts and khaki shorts, were intent on business. Naruko cut through the hothouse and toward Hinata's office. The hothouse smelled of earth and flowers and damp. The sweet smells of the various orchids did a little dance across her olfactory system like butterflies landing on flower petals. She inhaled deeply and her contextual memory drew her back to a place and time… She reined herself in.
Pyrrha spotted her and came over. The heat was unbearable. Naruko always felt like she'd been transported to some Amazonian jungle while remaining dressed in a traveling suit of good English wool.
"Long time no see, Naruko." Pyrrha said, her beautiful face beaming.
Pyrrha was a very tall young woman with green eyes and long red hair that she wore in ponytail. The first time Naruko had met Pyrrha was in her high school years and it had been a distinctly uncomfortable occasion. She had snatched Naruko—after ascertaining she was the offender—from the hallway where she waited for Hinata outside her class. Pyrrha had been dating Hinata at the same time Naruko was spending every afternoon in her arms. Pyrrha, it seemed, had discovered this, and held her by the neck against the bulletin board announcing upcoming readings. Hinata had fortuitously shown up before Naruko lost consciousness and demanded Pyrrha put her down, explaining that Naruko was her soul mate and they were meant to be together. Pyrrha was a philosophy nut and big into existentialism. She dropped Naruko who instantly crumpled on the hallway floor.
"You haven't been here in forever; not since…"
Pyrrha trailed off. She looked at Naruko's outfit then down at her own apron. She decided it was clean enough and hugged Naruko.
Naruko, in the meantime, studied Pyrrha's belt to see if all the tools were properly attached and then hugged her back. Pyrrha had hugged her the last time she'd been at the nursery and a small potting spade had come loose, landing on Naruko's foot, which, owing to the Keen sandals she was wearing, had lacerated her toe. She hadn't cried that time like when she hurt her shoulder, but she had used a lot of swear words in succession that shocked most everyone who happened to be around.
"Did it heal okay?"
She glanced down at Naruko's foot.
"Yes, thank you. It's fine."
Naruko's presence had been noted. The greenhouse cleared out—all employees not helping customers made a hasty exit.
"I always seem to have that effect on people here." She frowned.
"Haha, think of the power. Hinata-chan is in her office," said Pyrrha, not meeting Naruko's eye.
Naruko went to the office. It was a small room painted lavender and white with Victorian lithographs of orchids with their scientific names engraved at the bottom of each frame placed tastefully about the walls. Naruko had given them to Hinata for their fourth anniversary. She'd spent hours on eBay trying to outbid other freaky orchid people. It had been most frustrating but her diligence had paid off. Hinata had been delighted. The rest of the office was pure function, and thanks to Naruko, very ergonomic with its cherry wood desk and file cabinets. Hinata looked up from her paperwork.
"I knew it was you."
"How?"
"I saw everyone running."
"I should be offended by that. Is it because I tried to drown one of your employees in the watering trough because she was making advances on you?" Naruko inquired.
"I think that might be it. The employees still talk about it."
"Did you fire her?"
"No, she quit and thankfully we didn't end up with a lawsuit."
She straightened up her papers.
"What brings you here?"
She leaned back in her chair and looked suspiciously at Naruko's clothes.
"Umm… I want to get married."
Hinata sat up quickly.
"Don't you think that's a rather moot point?"
"I knew it. You're creeped out."
She sat down in the nearest chair, pouted and sighed heavily doing all three things almost simultaneously.
Hinata got up and put her hand on Naruko's shoulder.
"Now now, why don't you tell me what this is really about?"
"I just think with the baby coming that we shouldn't be living in sin. It won't set a proper example. We don't have to have a ceremony or anything because that might jinx us, but I could give you this and you could say 'I do,' and we'd be all set."
Naruko pulled the ring box out of her pocket. She opened it and peered inside.
"Wait, that one is mine."
She dug in her other pocket. She'd put them in different pockets so she could keep them straight but had now forgotten which was which. Opening the other box, she said, "Okay, got it all straight now."
Hinata studied the rings.
"They look the same to me."
Naruko turned it so she could see the inscription on the inside which read, "I will love you forever."
"What does your ring say?"
"Something like that," Naruko said evasively.
Hinata eyed her.
"Let's see it."
Naruko reluctantly handed over the ring. Hinata read the inscription aloud.
"Safe, sane and successful."
"I know it's not very romantic, but I saw it as pertinent. Now can we get on with it?"
Hinata smiled.
"All right."
She stuck out her hand and Naruko put the ring on. She peered down at it.
"I like it.
Then she put the other ring on Naruko's finger.
"So I know we haven't had time to write out our vows, but I think this might suffice."
Naruko pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper from her pocket. She cleared her throat.
"We promise to love each other for at least another ten years, argue as little as possible and not to commit any form of adultery. And I will stay on my medication."
Hinata laughed, kissed her softly and said, "I do."
.
.