A/N: [IMPORTANT UPDATE] Hey guys! Thanks for checking out chapter two. After working on this chapter, I realized that there was a bit more to this story than I originally thought which means there will be a chapter three! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Review with your thoughts!

Rodney's Dive.

Manhattan, New York.

9 P.M., January 8.

Even on this chill January night, the streets of New York are alive. I pass numerous groups out enjoying their time in the City That Never Sleeps. More than once I encounter a group of young women, crowded together both for warmth and safety, gleefully going about their business. They're expecting nothing from their night but friendship and a good time. I cast a quick prayer to whatever deity may be listening that that is all they meet. Each time I pass a man, my hand instinctively flexes for my gun, an unfortunate side-effect after sixteen years of SVU.

The night passes from chill to freezing. I shove my hands further into my pockets in an attempt to keep their feeling alive. I could have called a cab at my apartment, but I needed time to clear my head before my meeting. Now my face aches from the headwind, and my breath visibly chases the air in front of me and dances off behind me in quick swirls as it is carried away.

Life is fleeting, like a passing mist, like trying to catch hold of a breath.

Where had I heard that, and why, of all things, did it come to mind now?

I don't have much time to ponder it. Only a few shops ahead, a warm, golden light is filtering out onto the streets, checkering the dark night with the promise of warmth and security. Already the smell of spiced potatoes and seasoned meats is making my mouth water and stomach grumble. When was the last time I had eaten a real meal? Another question I don't have time to answer.

Laughter resounds from within the restaurant where Cragen told me to meet him. I pull the door open and a wall of heat, levity and spices meets me head-on. Inside it is close quarters. The walls and booths are made of dark mahogany. A large table is set off to the left by itself, filled with a group of college-aged guys who begin to eye me as I walk in. Further into the restaurant is a long bar, also crowded with patrons. A row of wide booths line the right wall. The lighting is soft but pervasive. There is nowhere to hide in such a small, well-lit place, and I catch myself relaxing despite the looks I still feel coming my way.

I see him before he sees me. He's in the farthest booth from the door, facing my way with his gaze dropped towards his drink: an iced tea. Despite the circumstances of our meeting, I can't help but break into a broad grin at the sight of him. It doesn't take me long to cross the small space, and in the next moment, I am wrapped in familiar arms. "Liv," he whispers happily. For a moment, I am transported back into another time. My heart softens at his touch, and I realize now how much I have missed his steady hand in my life.

"Hey, stranger," I murmur back, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes.

He smiles back at me and motions for me to sit down. "What would you like to drink?"

"Uh, water is good for now, but whatever is making that smell I will take that."

He laughs a hearty laugh and motions for a waitress to come over. After giving her my order, he turns his attention back to me. His gaze is soft, relaxed. "It looks like retirement is treating you well?" I try to keep the ache out of my voice. I'm not here for me or my nostalgia.

"Yeah, I get bored often, but, you know, I'm picking up old hobbies I'd forgotten I love."

"Old hobbies?" I question.

"Easy, Liv. I'm still on the wagon."

"Good to know," I smile. The waitress returns with my drink. I thank her and take a grateful gulp. The heat and smells as well as the day's toils have combined to completely parch my throat. I catch Cragen eyeing me expectantly. After another long draught, I set down my glass and meet his eyes.

"Have you been watching the news?" I ask quietly.

He huffs, "Liv, I am retired NYPD. I stay as far away from the news as I can. I don't even have a television in my home. Should I have been watching the news?"

Dammit, this is going to be harder than I thought. I had hoped Cragen would have seen the trial on the news, recognized Patton's name, started putting pieces together on his own, but apparently, I was going to have to start from the beginning.

"No, not necessarily. Cragen, something...something has happened with Rollins."

"What? Is she in trouble for gambling again?"

"No," I reach across the table to place my hand on his. It was no secret that Cragen made Rollins' addiction something of a personal-mission for himself. Perhaps as a way to return the mercy shown to him by his own captain decades ago. I squeeze his hand in mine to reassure him. "No, it doesn't have to do with gambling. She's...she's really been doing well." His concern is still evident on his face. My stomach drops thinking about what I have to tell him next.

"Then what is it?"

I sit back in my seat. There's a tempered glass window to my right, and I catch myself wishing I could see through it out into the night, to see if anyone needs help, to make sure all those girls got home safe...

"Olivia..." Cragen's voice calls my mind back to the restaurant.

I shake my head to clear of thoughts of the street and meet his eyes again. "When you interviewed her, did you ever talk to anyone from her old squad back in Atlanta?"

His eyes narrow. "Yeah, her captain...Reynolds. His uncle and I graduated from the academy together. We kept up with each other enough over the years that when Tony heard I was short a detective, he told his nephew, and his nephew recommended Amanda."

Some of the missing pieces begin to fall into place at his words. I had always wondered how Rollins had managed a transfer from A.P.D. to New York. Now, I understand. It wasn't so much a transfer, as a cover-up. "And there were no red flags there? You didn't have any suspicions as to how or why they were so willing to see her leave A.P.D.?"

"Olivia, what are you getting at? I'm still not a fan of guessing games, you know."

I sigh and rub my hand through my hair in frustration. "Last week some of Amanda's old squad came up for a conference, including her commanding officers. One of them was a guy named Deputy Chief Patton." Each word tastes like acid in my mouth, and when I say his name I can't keep it out of my tone.

"Quite a name," Cragen remarks, taking a small sip of his tea.

"Yeah, well, Patton raped one of his own detectives in their hotel the night after the conference was over."

"What?" He hisses, slamming down his glass hard enough that its contents spill out onto his hand and the table. "Dammit," he growls as he pulls a handful of napkins from the table's dispenser. Somehow, his anger affirms everything I've been feeling over the last three days. Cragen is as cool a head as they come. If he is visibly angry then we all should be. I watch him for several long seconds until the mess is cleared.

When he speaks again, he doesn't look up at me. And that's when I know he knows what I am going to say next. "Tell me where you're going with this, Liv," he murmurs so softly that I almost don't hear him.

But how do I say it? I've worked and lived in this world of sexual assault for sixteen years, no, wrong, my entire life has been in the shadow of sexual assault. Why, why is this so different? Why does this feel like my first case all over again? The first time I said the word rape out loud, the first time I had to talk a victim through her disclosure, inform the family of what had happened to a woman they loved...

He still won't meet my eyes, but I can see the pain etched in Cragen's features. Apparently, tonight would be filled with questions I can't answer.

"The victim's name is Detective Reese Taymor, and her...her and Rollins could be sisters."

His shoulders visibly slump. He begins to rub his hands over his head then he covers his face. After a long moment, he lowers his hands and looks at me. Tears rim his eyes, but none fall. My own throat catches, and now it is him who holds my hand in his. I stare down at our hands, joined between us, and a fresh wave of anger clouds my vision. Isn't it enough that we're terrified to leave our own houses at night? Do we have to be petrified to come to work, too? Goddammit, why can't the job be enough?

"How is she?" He finally says.

"I - I honestly don't know. Patton pled guilty to sexual abuse in the third degree yesterday against Detective Taymor, but - " My voice cracks, and I have to stop talking before the effort of speaking forces my own tears to fall.

I hear him sigh heavily. "When did it happen?"

This I can do, and maybe he knows that. It is details of a crime being given to a commanding officer. "Five years ago, about eight months before she left A.P.D." Eight months. Amanda had to work under her rapist for eight months pretending nothing had happened...taking the sneers of her "fellow" officers...watching him pretend to care for her career...that's when it happens again. I've let my guard down, and the haunted places of my mind are demanding to be heard. There is a flashing image of William Lewis standing in front of me in that Godforsaken courtroom. I'm forced to watch as he savors every moment of my torture, knowing that one false word will put him on the street again. Every nerve in my body tenses, and suddenly I can't breath.

I'm trapped on the witness stand again. He's coming for me...he's walking right at me, and they've trapped me. Why would they trap me like this? Barba...he said he would be here with me...where the fuck is he?

"You wanted it this way..." Lewis mocks, standing just inches from. If he wanted, he could reach out grab me. "You were obsessed with me...you, the daughter of a rapist..." I can feel all their stares. They believe him...they know...they know what I did...everyone knows that I am a monster now too, maybe I have always been one...me, the daughter of a rapist...

"Olivia!"

Cragen's raised voice pulls me from my mind. The wind returns to my lungs. Smells of food and grease fill my nostrils. Slowly the world comes into focus again.

"I'm good," I gasp, still unable to focus completely on his face, "I'm here. I'm good." I can't read how much time passes between coming out of the memory and when I am finally able see the table in front of me again. "I...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Liv. Where did you go?" His voice is unchallenging, disarming.

"The courtroom," I say, "it felt like he was right there again."

"Has that been happening often?"

"I'm fine, Cragen. I can handle it."

"Sure, Liv. Just know that I'm not asking as your commanding officer anymore."

I rub my eyes in my hands, trying to wash away the last images of Lewis' face. "It's been a long week," I finally say feeling deflated. Every muscle aches, and the restaurant suddenly feels ten times louder and much more crowded than it was five minutes ago.

"Rodney's Special," a voice chimes over my back, and it takes everything in me not to pull my gun.

"Thanks," I hear Cragen return. Tantalizing smells fill the space around me, and my stomach betrays my weakness with a growl.

"You should eat."

In front of me is a plate the size of a small vehicle piled high with golden, roasted potatoes and a sandwich that looks like someone turned a cow inside out. "Rodney's special," I murmur with a sardonic grin.

"The best Sloppy Joe in town. Dig in, Liv."

Fifteen minutes later, I let out a low, satisfied groan. "You weren't kidding," I sigh in contentment. "I won't be able to eat for a week."

Cragen chuckles. "It was my old captain who actually introduced me to this place. He knew the original owner, I think."

"Paying it forward, are you, Cap?"

"The only way I know how."

I chuckle and start picking at a stray potato on my plate. The air between us grows heavy. "I don't know what to do," I confess, forcing myself to look into his eyes again. "I don't know how to make this one right."

"You can't, Liv. This one isn't on you, and you know that."

"Yeah, but, Cragen, I didn't even see it. I sent her down to him weeks ago to get some evidence for a case, and she never said a word. I stood next to her while he tried to charm us at the conference. Cragen, I actually asked her if she thought he was capable of raping Detective Taymor, and I - I thought she was just hesitant because she felt loyal to him. I let that man talk to her, compliment her, right next to me, and I couldn't even see what he was doing."

"None of that is your fault. You and I both know that Amanda is better at keeping secrets than most."

"Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be better at finding them."

"That's not what's bugging you, though, is it?"

I sigh, feeling the struggle and tension of the day begin to coalesce somewhere behind my left eye. "No, it isn't."

"Then what is?"

Again, flashes of Lewis' face force themselves to the front of my mind. The lines between memory and reality blur. The scars crisscrossing my chest start to ache. When Cragen reaches across the table again to squeeze my hand, I shudder at his touch. "I know what it's like," I finally say, "to have the people you work with, the people whose respect your life depends on, look at you like...like..."

"Like you're broken. Like you're the victim." He finishes. His eyes are soft. His expression is sympathetic, knowing. "Like we did to you after Lewis."

I nod, feeling fresh tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. "I want her to know she is not alone, but I also want her to know this changes nothing about the way we see her, that what happened to her isn't a statement on her character or worth as a detective."

"Then you tell her that, Liv, and you keep telling her that until she believes it."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, I'm not quite sure I have enough time left before mandatory retirement for that one."

Cragen chuckles, releasing my hand, "Tell me about it."

"Okay, ouch." I wince playfully at his words. Outside, I hear a group of women laughing as they pass our booth. "I just want her to know we are here for her. That we're...that we're her family now, and she's safe with us."

"Then that is where you start. Protect her, do for her, make sure she knows you're in her corner. The rest will take care of itself."

"Yeah," I murmur, trying to stare through the tempered glass again. "I suppose."

"Liv, look at me."

I draw my eyes away from the window and into his. "What Amanda needs right now is a friend, not a Sergeant, not a fellow officer, but simply a friend. She's a recovering addict. I remember that first year sober. I was terrified of stepping foot outside of my house, that I'd somehow end up in a bar if I were ever out alone, or even out at all. Amanda can't turn to her family. She doesn't have other friends in the city. She's got the the job, the team. She's got you, that's it."

"Jeez, no pressure," I muse, smiling at him, "but I get it."

"Then why are you still sitting here with an old fool?"

"I don't think she wants to see - "

"I'm not talking about what she wants. I'm talking about what she needs. And tonight, that is going to be a friend."

"Okay, Captain," I grin. "Message received."

"Then, Sergeant Benson," he says, rising from his seat, "it has been a pleasure."

I follow his lead and wrap my arms over his shoulders, drawing him into my embrace. I feel completely secure in his arms. "You were always like a father to me," I murmur into his ear.

His grip on my back tightens slightly, "And you, Olivia, were the daughter I had always hoped for. Go get our girl."

The ride to Rollins' apartment takes less than ten minutes. I've only ever been to her apartment once before, after she'd shot Kim's boyfriend which would, of course, turn into its own mess. Cragen's words echo in my ears. She's got the job, the team. She's got you, that's it.

She's alone.

The thought sends a pang of guilt through my gut, but I am here now. That has to count for something.

I find her apartment easily once inside. The building is quiet. The sounds outside are muted by its thick walls. I only hesitate for a moment outside her door. After three short knocks and a tentative, "Rollins, it's Olivia," I wait for her response. I sigh hearing the silence on the other side. "Amanda, babe, I just wanted...to check on you. Make sure you're all right."

A few seconds later I can hear shuffling. "Olivia? What are you doing here?" Rollins calls from the other side.

What do I say? "I just wanted to drop by and see if there were anything I could - "

"I'm good, thanks."

Annoyance tempers my sympathy. "Amanda, please, just open the door. I - I won't stay long. I just want to see you, to make sure you're okay."

She doesn't respond for several long moments then finally, "It's just you?"

Something's wrong, my gut pricks at me. "Of course. It's just me."

A second later, Rollins begins to undo the locks on her door. In another moment, she's opened it just enough that I can make out half her face. The apartment behind her is shrouded in darkness.

"Amanda," I murmur, "what is going on?"

"You've seen me. I'm okay. Can I just have some privacy - "

I raise my eyebrows, "Is someone in there?"

Hesitation mars what little of her face I can see. "Y-yes," she answers.

Lie. "Amanda, what is - " I push her door open with my hand, and she offers little resistance. Light shines into her apartment from the hallway, fully illuminating her face for the first time. "Oh my God, Amanda, what happened?" A long, dark bruise is covering most of the left side of her face. Her lip is bloodied, and her left eye is crisscrossed with bursted veins.

"It's nothin'. I just - " She tries to turn from me, but the damage has been done. I've seen everything I need to see.

"We're going to the hospital." I reach for her arm, but she quickly shakes me off. Hurt and betrayal fill her eyes.

"You've seen me, Liv. Now, let me handle it."

"Handle what exactly? Amanda, who did that to you?"

She hesitates again, and that's when I know the answer. "Patton," I hiss. Revulsion, fear, anger, hatred all boil to the surface of my skin. That son of a bitch. I can't tell if she has any other injuries, any other proof of the monster that Patton truly is. The rest of her body is covered in a soft, lavender robe. She showered. My stomach turns knowing what question I have to ask next. "Amanda, did he - "

"No," she responds, "no, it wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like exactly?"

Tears start to well in her eyes, and I have to resist the urge to throw her into my arms, to shield her from the world that has betrayed her. "Liv, we see so much darkness every day. I know you don't want to, but you need to let this one go. Please."

"Amanda, you don't have to be afraid of him - " I try to reach out to her again, but she shrugs me away. I have one foot in her apartment and one foot in the hallway. Amanda looks like she did in my office just yesterday, like at any moment she could flee.

"I'm not afraid of him. Liv, sometimes sleepin' dogs just have to lie." Her words cut like daggers. I've never seen her like this. She's resigned to defeat. Her eyes, her words, her body language are all begging me to let this monster get away with hurting her again. I don't know what to say to her. I try to take another step in, but she blocks my way. "I'll see you in a few days, Sergeant." Now she won't meet my eyes. "T-thanks for stoppin' by."

"Amanda," I try weakly, but she's already started to close the door. I have to do something now or the opportunity is lost forever. She needs a friend, not a Sergeant, not a fellow officer. I stick my foot into the doorway just as she is about to close it. Resolve solidifies in my gut even as my heart breaks at the look of pain that crosses her face.

"Have it your way," I say, trying to draw her eyes with my tone, "no hospital, but you either let me into your apartment right now or I send Fin and Amaro to go pick up Patton. Your choice."

Tears which have threatened to fall since she opened the doors begin to stream down her face, but after another long pause, she nods, stepping aside to let me into her apartment. I know the night ahead of me will be long as I try to convince Amanda Rollins that in this family, she will always be cared for, and if she will just let us, we will always keep her safe.

A/N: Thanks for reading again guys! This chapter was a bit longer than the first, but I hope you enjoyed it. Hopefully chapter three will be up shortly. Stay safe out there!