Chapter 2- Snow to Sand

Jon Snow. He often hated his name. Not because it sounded wrong or didn't roll of the tongue. No, it was because it stood as a reminder that he doesn't have a family. Not from the rest of the world's point of view anyway.

But he did have a family, a family that people respected and followed and he loved them for taking him in. But he didn't share that name and for everyday of his life he was reminded of that fact. That he was always different. That he didn't fit in with the rest of them. He was made to sit away from the rest of them during dinner from no fault of his own. This stood to always remind him that even though they tried their best to make him feel part of the family, he never would be. He would always be Jon Snow, a motherless bastard and the bastard of Winterfell.

He hacked away at a training dummy in the courtyard of Winterfell whilst all the lords and ladies, including all of his 'family', they were the closest thing he had to one, dined in the Great Hall, enjoying what was most likely one of the most delicious meals that had been prepared for a long time just to satisfy King Robert and his entourage. This only served to remind him of his status, or lack of. Lady Catelyn had come to him personally a few hours prior to the King's arrival and ordered him to remain out of the Great Hall through fear that his presence may offend them.

He hacked away harder and the training dummy as these thoughts filled his head. His anger making each hit harder. The force in each swing grew the more his thoughts lingered on the conversation he had had with Lady Stark just hours ago. He wished he could of at least had Arya out here with him for company, he knew she would rather be with him training with swords rather than having to dress up for some fancy men and women anyway. But she had to be there as a daughter of the Lord and Lady of Winterfell. Not for the first time, he found himself wishing that he had been a son of the Lord and Lady and not just the Lord. Then life might just be a little bit easier.

"Your the bastard of Winterfell, aren't you?" Came a voice from behind him. He turned quickly and saw a dwarf, lazily leaning on a wooden beam with a drink sloshing in his hand. He was obviously rather drunk already and the feast had only been going on a hour.

"What's it to you"? Responded Jon as he looked down on the dwarf.

"Just curious about what the sound was. It sounded like there was a really angry man out here who seemed a little pissed of at the outcome of life" said the dwarf with a raised eyebrow in his direction.

"You think your funny?" Grumbled Jon.

"No, i think I'm hysterical" came the snarky response.

"What do you want?" Snapped Jon, impatiently.

"I heard about you. Through a few mutterings. The bastard of Winterfell" said the dwarf who finally came to a standing position. "You must be proud" added the dwarf as he stood in front of Jon for the first time.

"Proud!?" Scoffed Jon.

"Yes, proud. It's not everyday that you get to be the subject of someone else's mutterings" grinned the dwarf in his direction.

"And i've heard about you. The dwarf of Casterly Rock. Tyrion Lannister I believe" said Jon, finally recognising the dwarf, wearing the Lannister lion.

"My you are an observant one aren't you?" Said Tyrion as he took another gulp from the horn he was holding.

"More than you would think."

"What i think doesn't matter now does it. It's what I know" quipped Tyrion as he took another long gulp.

"And what do you know, dwarf of Casterly Rock?" Asked Jon.

"I know how you feel."

"How can you possibly know how I feel. How can you know how it feels like to be bastard when your not one?"

"Because all dwarf's are bastards in their fathers eyes, Jon Snow" said Tyrion. He took yet another gulp from his horn and then took another long look at him again and then looked up to meet him, eye to eye. "May i offer a bit of advice, you know, dwarf to bastard?" Asked Tyrion.

"If you must."

"Accept it. Instead of just trying to pretend to be someone your not, accept that your a bastard, because the rest of the world won't let you forget it. The rest of the world will see you as a bastard and never let you forget it so why let it hurt you whenever they remind you. The sooner you accept being the a bastard, the quicker it will turn form being a sword that's trying to kill you to your shield that is protecting you" advised Tyrion, with a raising of his horn every now and then. Jon just looked down at him, unable to come up with a response.

"Farewell bastard, some of us have women to go to" Finished Tyrion as he raised his horn in Jon's direction and headed back inside with a hobble and a sway, displaying to everyone that he was completely out of it.

Jon then turned back to the dummy, picked up his sword and started hacking again, though Tyrion's words were still stuck in his thoughts as he hacked away at the training dummy.

"Hack it any harder and you wont have a dummy left to hack" came another voice, this time from directly behind him and it was a voice he recognised. He turned round and saw Uncle Benjen heading towards him with a smirk on his bearded and scared face. He grinned at the seeing him.

"Uncle Benjen" said Jon as Uncle Benjen strode up to him and engulfed him a large him.

"It's good to see you to" replied Benjen with warm smile at Jon. He had always had a soft spot for Jon, more so than the rest of Ned Stark's children. Not to say that he didn't love any of the others, but he just always had a soft spot for Jon who always prefered to be in the corner and brood. He just connected with him better than any of the others. "I heard your wanting to take the black" sad Benjen, approaching the topic with caution.

"Aye, I do" confirmed Jon with a nod.

"Why?" Asked Benjen, cutting straight to the point.

"You know why. They don't discriminate down there. They don't care about who you are, they don't care about what family you come from or what has happened in your past. They only care about your fighting skills and mine ain't exactly bad" replied Jon as he gestured to the dummy behind him.

"Fighting soldiers and fighting hitting dummies are two completely different thing's Jon" reminded Benjen.

"I know that, I don't you to remind me" pointed out Jon with a roll of his eyes.

"Good. Cause the nights watch might not be what your expecting" stated Benjen.

"What do you mean?" Asked Jon, confused.

"You said it yourself lad, the nights watch don't care who you are , where you come from, who your parents are and what your past's like. They only care about your fighting skills. Ever occurred to you that there may be a few less than pleasant arseholes down at the wall?" Asked Benjen with a raised brow.

"I know what i would be getting into" started Jon but was interrupted by Benjen.

"Do you? Cause I'm not so sure you do. You would be giving away everything, your family and your future.."

"What future!? I'm a bastard, the best a bastard can look forward to is becoming a squire, and even then that's if their lucky" interupted Jon with a frown.

"What about your family?" Asked Benjen. Jon went silent for a moment.

"They'd manage without me around, the only people who even recognise my presence here are father, Robb and Arya. The rest wouldn't even realise i'm gone" grumbled Jon in response, head swivelling to see if anyone was lurking around. Benjen took the time to observe Jon's body language and look him over an then look him in the eye as Jon's head finally came back round to face him.

"I don't think you truly realise what you would be giving up, Jon. You have your whole life ahead of you. So many different paths. So many different possibilities. So many different outcomes. Don't throw it away because of what you have here and now and completely disregard what you might have in the future. Don't ruin your life because of the present" advised Benjen who looked Jon straight in the eye.

"I'll think about it" relented Jon, as he looked away from Benjen and towards the Great Hall of Winterfell where the feast was still going on.

"That's all I ask. Just make sure you know who you are before you make the decision" said Benjen as he grabbed Jon into a one armed embrace and then turned and headed back the way he came.

Jon frowned at Benjen's back as he ambled away. What had he meant by that? He knew who he was and had done a long time. He was reminded of it everyday. Some days it seemed like he could never get away form it. Surely Benjen realised that.

He picked up his sword and headed towards the armoury and once he had discarded his sword, he headed to his chambers to turn himself in for the night. He didn't fancy getting dragged into any more conversations with people who either wanted to remind him of who he was, as if he could forget or probe him about his future, or lack of.

When he strolled into his chambers, he saw Ghost lounging on top of the furs on his bed. His white fur a stark contrast to the brown of the furs and the darkness of the room.

At his entrance, Ghost lifted his head ever so slightly, eyes opening a little to see who had come through the door. When the direwolf laid eyes on him, he shut his blood-red eyes and went back to his snoozing. Jon didn't truly think his wolf ever succumbed to proper sleep, he always seemed to alert, even in the middle of the night to be properly asleep.

For hours, Jon laid atop of the furs, hands raking through Ghost's white fur as he listened to the sounds of laugher that waded through the halls of Winterfell. He could hear the gentle snores coming from his direworlf just as clearly though. Maybe his companion did sleep sometimes after all.

He soon realised, however, that he would not be allowed to succumb to sleep himself because a hard knock on the door startled himself form his dozing and Ghost from his apparent sleeping/snoozing as he reared his head up, red eyes alert and trained on the door with a predator like look. Jon rested his hand on Ghost's head and got himself up from atop of the furs, he hadn't bothered getting himself undressed that night, and headed towards the door.

He opened to see his father, Ned Stark, standing on the opposite side. He was looking at Jon with a sort of sadness.

"Son, we need to talk" stated Ned with a sigh as he looked at Jon. Jon nodded and stepped to the side to allow his father into his chambers but Ned just shook his head at him. "Not here, please follow me to the crypts" ordered Ned as he started to meander his way away from the door and down the hall. He looked behind him to see Jon coming up behind him, fur clock around his shoulders to protect himself from the winter chill outside and Ghost at his side, the direwolf's red eyes taking in everything around him. He was only a pup after all.

"Hope you don't mind Ghost coming, he seems to be permanently attached to me" said Jon as he came to stand beside his father, even though he only came up to halfway up his neck.

"It is no problem" reassured Ned as they then made their way down to the crypts.

The crypts of Winterfell held an icy chill but Jon rarely got the opportunity to frequent the place his ancestors were buried so he made the most of it followed his father through the crypts until they came to his aunt Lyanna and then Ned stopped.

"You know who this is?" Asked Ned as he turned to Jon with a raised brow.

"Aunt Lyanna" responded Jon with a nod.

"I take it you have heard about what happened to her?" Questioned Ned, turning to the statue of his sister.

"Only what everyone else knows" answered Jon.

"You have often asked me about your mother. Who was she? Does she know your alive? Is she proud of you?" Started Ned as she continued to look at his sister. Jon's head raised up slightly to meet his father's eyes as he heard him, perking up at any mention of his mother he never knew.

"Where is she?" Asked Jon. "Does she even know I'm alive? And why are we here to discuss her?" Added Jon in quick succession.

'She's right here Jon" replied Ned, gesturing to Lyanna's statue. Jon just looked at Ned for a few moments before his eyes drifted over towards Lyanna, his eyes displaying disbelief.

"That can't be true?" Said Jon with a slight shake of the head as he turned towards his father who's head was bowed.

"It is Jon. Your aunt Lyanna is actually your mother" stated Ned, with a slight nod of his bowed head, refusing to meet his son's accusatory eyes. "Many years ago, your mother was betrothed to marry King Robert Baratheon. He wasn't King at the time, he was the Lord of Storms End. Some time after that, Lord Walter Whent organised a tourney at Harrenhal. There, Lyanna, your mother, saved Howland Reed from a bunch of squires that were tormenting and antagonising him. She brought Howland Reed to meet myself and my two brothers. Later, Rhaeger Targaryen was declared the victor, he was already married to Elia Martell" explained Ned, still only looking at Lyanna and not at Jon who had also turned his gaze to Lyanna.

"He rode right past his own wife with a crown of winter roses in his hands. He went up to Lyanna and gave her the crown. The crown of Love and Beauty. It caused a commotion to say the least. It was considered disrespectful of him because not only was he married but he had given the crown to the someone already betrothed to another man" went on Ned. "Some time afterwards, Lyanna disappeared, it was believed that Rhaegar had abducted her" said Ned, as he finally turned to look at Jon who was still staring at Lyanna's statue.

"What happened, father?" Asked Jon, quietly.

"It was said that Rhaegar had taken her away and hid her in Dorne. This later is deemed to be true" started Ned again, turning back to the statue. "Your Uncle, Brandon Stark had been on his way to Riverun to wed with my wife, Lady Catelyn who was a Tully back then. He changed direction and went down to King's Landing. He met with King Aerys Targaryen, you know him as The Mad King" explained Ned as he looked at Jon again. Jon just nodded his head. 'He demanded that Rhaegar be arrested and punished for his crimes. Aerys, being the man he was, didn't take it very well. He therefore arrested Brandon and his men and accused him of treason. He then summoned my father, Lord Rickard Stark to King's Landing on the pretext that they would receive a fair trial" said Ned, stuck in memories from the past.

"But they didn't" finished of Jon, as he looked at Lyanna again.

"No, they did not. The Mad King burned them all alive. This, along with Lyanna's kidnapping, started the rebellion led by King Robert. The hand of The Mad King, Jon Arryn, was charged with arresting both myself and Robert, he refused" explained Ned, a slight smile on his face at the last bit. "The three of us, myself, Robert and Jon led the rebellion against the Mad King, gaining house Tully's support by myself marrying Catleyn and Jon marrying Lysa, Lady Stark's sister" added Ned as he looked around himself to make sure no one else was around. "During the rebellion, House Targaryen was nearly completely destroyed. Rhaegar was slew at the Battle of Trident. Meanwhile, Lannister's attacked King's Landing and Jaime Lannister betrayed his oaths and slew The Mad King" said Ned as he turned to Jon once more.

"After that, Robert was given the news that Lyanna had died through unknown causes. He then married Cersei Lannister. Robert was then named King and he then pardoned the Lannisters for what they did at King's Landing. He then ordered the execution of Elia Mertell and Rhaegar's two children, Aegon and Rhaenys. I never did properly forgive him after that. I tried to persuade him not to kill them but he wouldn't listen" finished Ned.

"Meanwhile, Lyanna was in the tower of Joy in Dorne" stated Ned as he looked at Jon. Jon just looked back, unshed tears in his eyes as he realised.

"She died in childbirth, giving birth to you" said Ned with a look of grief on his face. Jon just stared back and then looked back to Lyanna, a single tear escaping his eye.

"Rhaegar" uttered Jon, barely loud enough for Ned to hear.

"Aye, your real father was Rhaegar Targaryen" said Ned.

"You lied to me. All this time i've felt like i dont belong here and now i know fucking why" exclaimed Jon as he turned towards Ned. "It's because i'm a Targaryen isn't it?" Insisted Jon.

"Partly, Lyanna and Rhaegar never got round to getting married, so your still a bastard. Just a Targaryen bastard instead of a Stark bastard" replied Ned.

"What's my real name?" Asked Jon, another tear rolling down his cheek.

"Aegon Sand" answered Ned, as he looked at Jon again. Jon just slowly shook his head as he looked at Ned and then at Lyanna again.

"Why now?" Asked Jon eventually.

"I needed to let you know who you truly were before you made the decision whether to take the black or not. I couldn't let you go without knowing" muttered Ned. "I lied to you for all these years to protect you. Bastard or not, if Robert ever found out that Rhaegar had another son, he would have stopped at nothing to kill you" said Ned.

"But you've put your whole family at risk in telling me. In telling anyone. You could be accused of treason and along with your family by the King and you could all be executed" said Jon with a frown on his sorrow filled face.

"Robert wouldn't kill Lyanna's flesh and blood. He might have sixteen years ago, but I don't think he would now" replied Ned with a slight shake of the head.

"That's a big risk" pressed Jon.

"Aye, it is. But it's a risk that needed to be taken. If you decided to tell anyone about your true identity that's your own business, you have the right to. Just make sure you trust them and that they wont go running with the news to the first people they see" said Ned as he touched Jon's shoulder. Jon then just looked up to the face of Lyanna Stark. He had asked for so many years who is mother was. What was she like? Did she love him? Was she even still alive? She had been here, just meters from him all this time and he never knew.

A/N

Hope i got most of the facts right apart from the one i have intended to tweak ;). In the next chapter you will see Jon's decision. Again, please review.

Kind Regards,

chaser10