Sans had just made the realization that the only way off of this cursed plantation was to lie to his slave masters and keep the grapes for himself, and create his own balsamic vinegar recipe. He knew the Europeans well; and that they loved their vinegar almost as much as their gold. The only way to make quality vinegar was to grind grapes into a pulp. So, he decided to pull a uno-reverse card on the slaves. He enslaved the slaves to crush the grapes for him so he could escape to the underground railroad! It was GENIUS!
He got to work right away, his white, clammy-boney fingers picking at the grapevines. His soft, bony, moist- wait hold on, we're not narrating a porno here! Anyway, back to the grape picking. Sans began whipping the slaves with his boney cock in order to produce more crushed grape juice. After a hard day of grape squeezing, the slaves were BEAT. Literally. They were beat ALL over! Sans was fine, since bone is pretty resistant to whips. (And he was white) He knew this was the only way to get his family into the underground railroad safely.
After much time and many grape filled barrels stored, the process was soon to be over. You see, Sans was special, born with magical powers, he could control time to speed up the process of the grape fermentation! Unfortunately, this would still take many months. After all, the aging process technically needed to take 12 years. So sans ruled over his farm, whipping slaves left in right without remorse. But in a turn of events, Sans realized he became what he swore to destroy.
"This was not the way!" Sans thought to himself. He called out to his slaves to stop working and take a break. This was unheard of from the merciless slave owner Sans. He gathered the slaves and explained to them why he did this once and for all. "You see, I was once like you, that is until I pulled the Uno-Reverse card. The only reason I was being so hard on you guys was because I was scared, scared of going back to the life I used to live. There's a hierarchy of slave traders across the lands, we are in the middle, the owners and slaves. Above us are the traders, not only do they sell slaves, they sell the owners too! Very scary people. And if you think that's bad, the very top of the hierarchy are the "Big Men". If you aren't doing well in the slave business, you get sent… to Gay Baby Jail, a terrible and scary place NO ONE wants to go to. So friends, I need us to work together and manufacture this balsamic vinegar so we can sell it to the Europeans and escape to the underground railroads." Sans spoke with pride.
However, in his pride, Sans became blind. He failed to realize that the slaves were hungry, vicious beasts, ready to feast on unsuspecting white men. They decided to instead burn Sans at the stake, for the glory of Jesus himself. Sans was taken aback by this gesture; however, beneath his white, boney jaw, he smiled, because he was made of bones. He wouldn't burn. Duh. However, little did Sans know, he was in for a BIG treat.