The strain in my throat became unbearable. My heart was breaking. In that moment, I had lost the woman I loved and possibly my only ties to Genoa City. The second Mariah tells Sharon, she's going to kick me out. I should just pack a bag and leave now. Wiping my face, I fought my kneejerk reaction to flee. No. Can't run. I almost have a life here. I need to change the pattern. I can't run again. It's too hard to start over. I'm sick of it. I told myself this place would be different. I can't break that promise to myself.

Feeling myself calm, I leaned my head back against the door. "I can do this." Maybe if I hear it, I'll believe it. Smirking at myself, I scoffed. I groaned hearing Noah's ringtone. Answering it, I rocked forward and stood. "Hey…" My voice trailed.

"Hey. Wait, have you been crying? What happened?"

Clearing my throat, I sighed. "Mariah knows."

"Knows what?" He paused. "Oh, she knows?"

"Yeah…" Collapsing on the couch, I put the call on speaker. I still need to get groceries. Ugh. I don't feel like doing it now. I was hoping to ask Mariah if she wanted to tag along but that's out now.

"Obviously she's in shock and didn't take it well." A bitter laugh escaped my throat. "But how did she find out? Did you tell her?"

"Not exactly. I started playing a few new songs and it came up that I was in love with someone who wasn't you."

"Ah. And she freaked?"

"After I may have mentioned that I thought she loved me back, yeah."

"Oh…" Noah's voice trailed. "Yeah… She wouldn't take that well. Especially if she's not come to terms with it yet."

"Clearly, she has not." Scrolling through Instacart, I went through the BOGO sales first.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I guess."

"Within reason?"

"Yeah. I've just never cared about someone like I care about Mariah." Not a huge fan of that brand but it's good to have meat in the freezer.

"I understand that. What are you doing now?"

"Grocery shopping. I'm trying Instacart. After the order is delivered, I'll have to cancel the subscription so it doesn't auto-renew. I can't afford a hundred bucks."

"I can give you my account info and you can use mine. Just change the delivery address."

"And pay a portion so I can keep using it?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

"Make sure you get wine. After today, you deserve it."

"And ice cream. Lots of ice cream." I laughed.

"You really going to be okay? I can come over if you need me to."

"Thanks, Noah. I'll be fine. It'll just take a while before I can see Mariah and not want to run the other way."

"She'll come to terms with it. It'll just take her a little while. I've never seen her look at someone the way she looks at you. That seed has been planted and she's going to analyze everything."

Feeling my hope swell, I bit my lip. "You think so?"

"Yeah. I may not have known Mariah since birth but we're more alike than either of us are willing to admit."

"That's the truth!" Placing the order, I tried to relax a little. "I'm going to hop off here."

"Alright. If you need, just shoot me a text."

"Will do."

Xxx

It took a month to release the tension of possibly losing my apartment and my jobs. If Mariah was going to tell Sharon about my feelings for her, I would have been evicted by now. I'm not sure what was more painful: worrying about losing Mariah or losing my stability in GC.

Wiping down the bar, I watched as people filtered into The Underground, eagerly waiting for open mic night. Putting on a fake smile, I took people's orders. "One Old Fashioned, coming up."

"Thanks, Tessa." Robert, a frequent flyer, took a seat and waited patiently. "How are things going with your music?"

"Pretty good. I play tonight." Slinging a towel over my shoulder, I started his drink. "How was your trip to North Carolina?"

"Eh, it was nice." He shrugged. "Asheville is nothing but breweries now. I went to see the Biltmore Estate but that can be done in a day."

"The whole estate?" He nodded. "Did Jenny like it?"

"Loved it!" Robert laughed as I placed the drink on the bar. "But she loves old castles and stuff. She's happy. That's all that matters to me." Taking a sip, he hummed. "Perfect."

"Enjoy." Turning my attention to the next customer, I couldn't help but notice flaming curls walking in the door. Catching my gaze, Mariah turned to leave. Lucky for me, Noah caught her before she could run.

After a short conversation, the redhead left. Shrugging, Noah came behind the bar. "I knew it would take her a while to come around but not this long."

"I hate it so much." I murmured. "Now do you believe me when I say she runs at the sight of me?"

Scratching the back of his head, Noah answered puzzled. "Yeah…yeah I do."

"Do you think she's told Sharon?"

"I don't think so." The businessman's gaze drifted in thought. "Hmm."

"What?" My brow rose. "I know that face." That's never good.

"What face?"

"Your "I'm-up-to-no-good" face."

"Nah." Noah waved dismissively. "I'm not scheming anything."

"Yeah, and I'm not in love with your sister." My eyes narrowed. "What are you planning?"

"It's all good." Noah began to walk away.

"What's all good?" I called after him. Only to get a cheesy grin. "Noah Robert Newman!" Grumbling, I shook my head.

After a longer than usual set, I went home because Noah didn't need me. As I turned the corner towards my door, I wished I hadn't. There she was, arms crossed, leaning against the wall. Great. Mariah must have told her everything. Just perfect. "Sharon?"

"We need to talk." Her voice was unreadable.

Fumbling for my keys, I nodded. Pushing open the door, I allowed her entrance. Closing the door behind me, I placed my case against the wall. "I'm being evicted, aren't I?" I continued before Sharon could speak. "Look, I'll be out in a week. Give me that long at least, please."

"I'm not evicting you, Tessa." Taking a seat on the couch, Sharon motioned to sit. "We need to talk about Mariah."

My heart clenched hearing the redhead's name. "Okay…" Taking a seat, I felt my walls skyrocket.

"Are you in love with my daughter?" Sharon's tone was pointed.

Coughing, I ran a nervous hand through my hair. "You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

"I've leaned it's better not to."

Hesitating, I eventually nodded. "Yes. I'm in love with Mariah."

"Does she know?" Sharon's tone softened.

Do these two ever talk? "Yes. I told her a month ago." The longer it took the information to sink in, the more I fidgeted with anything in reach. How does Sharon not know about this yet? Mariah had to have told her by now.

"It's safe to say she didn't take it well? Considering you've not been around the cottage and every time I see Mariah come into Crimson Lights when you're working, she leaves."

I'm normally great at reading people. Why can't I figure out where this is going? "Yeah. Ever since she left here, Mariah refuses to acknowledge my existence. She left so quickly; she forgot her coat. I just hung it in your office and assumed she'd take it from there."

"She's been off since that night. The next day, she called into work sick and went into hiding. She didn't even want to see Devon for a few days."

Finally meeting the woman's gaze, I spoke softly. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because without you, Mariah's a shell of herself. She's been going through the motions of her day-to-day life. She's unhappy. I've not seen her like this in a very long time."

Pain filled my chest knowing Mariah was upset. I'm miserable without her in my life. No matter what, I don't want her to feel even a fraction like I do. "Mariah, clearly, refuses to speak to me. What could I possibly do?"

"I think she's in love with you too. She's just scared to death because of her past. She doesn't know romantic love. Yes, she's with Devon, and he's amazing, but he's still in love with Hilary. I think he's using her as a rebound. He didn't go into it thinking that, but I believe that's what happened."

The thought of someone using Mariah as a rebound caused my blood to boil. I don't care if it wasn't intentional. He should have stopped it. She doesn't deserve to be someone's second choice.

Seeing how livid I was, Sharon spoke. "Tessa, don't do anything you'll regret. I see how upset you are but Mariah is tough."

I spoke through gritted teeth. "If Devon is still in love with Hilary, he should end it with Mariah."

"You're right. But I think it would be better, for Mariah, if she ended things. The only way to do that is if she knows she's not alone. Mariah can easily survive on her own, she has before, but she doesn't want to anymore. She's got so much love to give."

"She has you." I mumbled, clenching my jaw. She has me too but that doesn't mean much when she wants nothing to do with me.

"I'm her mother. I don't count." Sharon laughed softly. "I'll always be here for her. Mariah needs someone who chooses to stick around. Someone who chooses to love her every day."

Relaxing a bit, I leaned into the pillows. "What am I supposed to do? Mariah won't look at me. Let alone speak to me. She sees me and runs the other way."

"I've asked if she'd help with inventory at Crimson Lights tomorrow night." My brow furrowed. "Noah said he'd call me to give me an out. That's when you walk in."

"I did inventory last week…" I sat there confused.

"Yes, I'm quite aware. But short of locking the two of you in the same room, it's the only plan Noah and I could come up with." She paused. "Noah wanted to lock you both in a room. Be glad I came up with this. Are you in?"

I can't believe both of them are scheming together to get me and Mariah alone. What kind of after school special is this? Before I could speak, my body answered for me. "Yeah." I hope this works.

Xxx

When it was time for me to ambush Mariah, Sharon messaged me. I waited until she left before walking into the coffeehouse. "Did you forget your wallet again?" Mariah laughed.

"No." Cautiously, I stood by the door.

It took a moment for my voice to register. When it did, Mariah's head snapped up. "What are you doing here?"

"I, technically, live here." Grinning, I moved slowly towards a nearby table. "Can we talk?"

"I'm busy." Mariah dismissed, turning back to the task at hand.

"I did inventory last week. Sharon asked you to do it so we could talk." When the redhead wouldn't speak, I continued. "It was this or Noah lock us in a room together. At least this way it's more relaxed and spacious."

"Noah wouldn't dare."

It's worse than pulling teeth to get words out of this woman! "Pretty sure he would at this point. And Sharon would help."

"Whatever." She scoffed.

"Okay, I'll leave. But if we wake up in a locked room, that's on you." Pushing out my chair, I counted down from five in my head. Reaching the door, Mariah finally spoke.

"Wait." I did as she asked. "Don't leave."

"Do you want to talk or not get locked in a room together?" I studied Mariah's reflection in the glass.

"Little of both?" A half smile tugged at the redhead's lips. "I can make some coffee if you want to stay."

This is neutral territory. Maybe she feels more comfortable talking here? "Okay." Taking a seat, I watched as Mariah started working behind the counter.

"How have things been?" Mariah's voice was timid.

"You'd know if you didn't avoid me like the plague." I mumbled.

"What?"

"Busy-ish. I've been playing more at The Underground. You've been avoiding the place."

"I've not been avoiding." My brow rose as the redhead took a seat. "Okay…I have been avoiding."

"Look," I started, "if you're not interested, I get it. But you need to tell me. I've been getting mixed signals from you since we met. You already know how I feel. The question is: how do you feel?" Sipping the steamy liquid, I studied the shorter woman.

"I…" She began. "I don't know how I feel when it comes to you." Mariah held her cup in both hands. She does that when she's extremely nervous. Biting her lip, she chose her words carefully. "When I'm around you, I feel warm and tingly. When you look at me, I buzz. When you smile in my direction, it's hard to breathe. And when you sing-" A nervous laugh escaped red lips. "Nothing else exists."

"Everything melts away?"

"Yeah." A soft blush tinted the woman's cheeks.

It looks like something has been lifted from her shoulders. Her feelings are real now that she's said it aloud. "How do you feel?"

"Better." Taking a sip of coffee, Mariah thought. "Lighter. I can talk to you about this. Especially now that you know how I feel."

"I actually don't know how you feel. Not exactly." I studied Mariah over the rim of my cup. I need to know if there's a chance with her. If there's not, it's okay. But I need to know one way or another.

"I…" She began shakily. "I don't…" Looking away, Mariah clenched her jaw.

"What do you think of when you wake up in the morning?" I offered.

Dark brows creased. "Oh, crap. I have to get up and go to work?"

Snorting, I shook my head. "Okay, not exactly what I meant." Taking a calming breath, I forced myself to ask. "Who do you think of when you first wake up?"

Panic flashed in Mariah's green eyes. A flush colored her cheeks. "You…"

My heart started to pound behind my ribs. "And before you go to sleep at night?"

Her cheeks got redder. "Also, you."

She's telling me the truth. I need to get my feelings under control. There could be a valid reason, other than the one I want, for why she thinks of me first. "What about me comes to mind?"

"How you are. Wondering if you're awake yet. What your plans are. Stuff like that." Biting her lip hard, Mariah looked away. "Even when I wake up next to him…"

"Ah." Stunned by Mariah's confession, I was speechless.

"I…I said too much." Before Mariah could stand to run, I placed my hand on hers. Gaining her attention, she spoke softly. "Tessa…"

"It's okay. Sit down." Squeezing her hand gently, I smiled up at the frazzled woman. I waited until Mariah was seated to continue. "It was just a shock to hear."

"I wanted to be honest with you."

"I appreciate that." Meeting Mariah's gaze, I smiled to put her at ease. My next question would send her into a full panic. "Where do we go from here? You know how I feel and you know how you feel. There's just one thing in the way."

"Devon." She mumbled.

Entwining our fingers, I squeezed. "Yeah."

Smiling, Mariah ran her thumb over my hand. "This feels so different." She whispered.

"I'd hope so." Not wanting to ruin the moment of clarity, I kept my voice low.

"I mean, I feel different. When you're holding my hand verses anyone else."

"I know."

A comfortable silence hung in the coffee shop until Mariah's phone rang. Groaning, her head fell. "It's Devon." Letting her thumb hover over the answer icon, she took a shaky breath. "I need to end it with him. But I have to do it in person."

"That would be best."

"Tonight."

"That's up to you."

Answering, Mariah placed the phone down. "Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good. How's inventory going?"

"It's done." She paused. "What are you doing now?"

"Nothing. I was calling to see if you would like to come over tonight."

"We need to talk."

Realizing where this conversation was going, I mouthed: I'm going to go. Before I could get to the door, I saw headlights. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh shit.

"Okay. I'm pulling in now."

"I'll unlock the door." Ending the call, Mariah laughed at my horrified expression. "Are you okay?"

"No! I am very much not okay!" Panicking, I dove behind the counter.

"You're going to hide back there the whole time?"

"Yes!" I whispered. Hearing a knock on the main door, I flinched. "I'm not here!"

Opening the door, Mariah let Devon enter. "Hey."

"Hey, what did you need to talk about? You sounded pretty serious on the phone."

"Yeah. Let's sit." This is killing me! Oh, God. Where's my phone? My stomach dropped when I remembered it was still on the table. Shit!

"Okay."

"I know I've been avoiding you lately." Mariah began carefully.

"Yeah, you have. You've only spent the night twice in the last month." I gagged silently at Devon's statement. "I've been worried about you." Why does he have to be such a nice guy?

"We need to break up." Ripping it off like a band-aid. That's my girl!

"What?" Devon paused. "Why?"

"I'm in love with someone else." My heart started to pound again hearing Mariah's words.

"Who is he?" Devon sounded hurt.

"She." Mariah corrected softly.

Shifting, Devon cleared his throat. "So, you're in love with another woman?"

"Yes."

"Who is she?" He paused. "Please, not Summer."

"What?! No! Why would I be in love with Summer?"

"That's how the love triangles seem to go in this town. Falling in love with an almost family member or someone's brother/sister/ex. It's confusing."

"It's a very limited dating pool with the Newmans and Abbots."

"Does Tessa know you're breaking up with me?"

"What?" She squeaked.

"After thinking about it, there's only one person you could possibly be in love with. That person is Tessa. The way you kept up with everything Underground related, especially Tessa related, kind of screamed it." He laughed. "And that's Tessa's phone."

"Oh…uh…"

"I'm hurt but I understand. I want to still be friends but it'll take a little bit." Sighing, Devon continued. "I think I'm actually in love with someone else too."

"Hilary?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm sorry, Mariah. I never saw you as a rebound. Honestly. And I love you but I'm not in love with you."

"It's more like a friend love? One that tried to be more."

"Exactly." Standing, Devon made his way towards the door.

"So, we're good?" Mariah asked cautiously.

"Yeah, we're good." Hugging the shorter woman, Devon paused. "Hi, Tessa."

"What?"

"She's down here somewhere. No way Tessa would just leave her phone somewhere."

Peeking out from behind the counter, I grinned. "Hey, Devon."

"Take care of our girl, okay?"

Standing tall, I nodded. "Will do."

"Good." Before leaving, the businessman popped his head back in. "Oh, put on the performance of your life next Friday at The Underground. A scout is coming to listen to you. Don't blow it."

"S-seriously?" I stammered.

"Yup. I've told the guy you're the best in town. Don't make a liar out of me." Devon kidded.

"I won't. Thanks for the heads up." With a nod, he left.

We stood there in silence for a while. Not knowing exactly what just happened. "That…went better than expected." Staring at the door, I was still in disbelief.

"Yeah…"

Turning towards me, Mariah took my hand. "Since inventory is done, do you want to lock up and go upstairs?" She paused, realizing how that sounded. "To talk more." A deep blush painted her entire face.

She's already thinking about not so innocent things? I thought I was the only one. "Sure."

Pushing open my door, I allowed Mariah ahead of me. Pausing, she looked around the apartment. "It's been so long since I've been here. You've done a lot with the place."

"Yeah." I kept my voice low. "Ever since you first found out how I felt."

Turning, Mariah looked anywhere but my face. "I'm sorry for leaving the way I did."

Placing my hands on the shorter woman's shoulders, I smiled. "Don't apologize. It's a lot finding out someone is in love with you and said person saying they believe you love them back. It was a lot to take in."

Nodding slowly, Mariah bit her lip. "I hadn't let myself actually think about the idea."

"Clearly." Stepping forward, I kissed red locks. "Let's go sit. Can I get you anything?"

"No. I'm good. I just want to hangout and let everything sink in."

Laughing, I leaned into the pillow. "Definitely understand that." I watched as Mariah weighed the options of how close she wanted to sit by me. As if on cue, both of our phones rang. Mine being Noah and Maria's being Sharon.

A mischievous gleam twinkled in the redhead's eyes. "Should we give them an update or just let them keep wondering?"

"That's up to you." I missed that look.

Mariah stood and walked towards the kitchen. "Hey, Mom."

"Sup?"

"How'd it go tonight? Did you and Mariah make up? Please tell me the coffeehouse isn't burnt to the ground."

Scoffing, I stretched across the loveseat. "We're adults. Do you really think one of us would burn a building to the ground?" I paused. "Don't answer that." Looking over her shoulder, Mariah looked confused. "Things went well. Mariah's talking to Sharon as we speak. We came upstairs after Devon left."

"Devon? She's already broken up with him?"

"Yeah. He called and she wanted to get it over with. He took it surprisingly well. Granted, he's still in love with Hilary so…"

"That helps. Do you think they'll still be friends?"

"Oh, yeah. Devon told me about some big shot who's going to be scouting talent next week."

"That's…great!"

"I think so." Noticing Mariah wrapping up her conversation, I did the same. "Well hey, Mariah and I are going to talk more. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sounds good. Tell Mariah I said hey."

"Will do." Ending the call, I watched as the redhead made her way back to the couch.

"They actually did set this whole thing up, didn't they?"

"Yup. More than you think." Dark brows furrowed. "Remember the night you sent me the shower text?" Mariah nodded slowly. "I was with Noah when I received it.

Blood drained from the woman's face. "Oh, God…"

"He's actually the one who told me that text was subconscious flirting."

"What?"

"He explained that you subconsciously wanted to send me that text to flirt with me."

Mulling over the information, Mariah thought back. "I guess?"

Taking the older woman's hand, I pulled her close. Leaning into me, Mariah got comfortable in my arms. "I don't know if it's true or not." Nuzzling her curls, I smiled. "But honestly, I don't care."

Humming, Mariah snuggled more into me. "Same here." Fighting back a yawn, the redhead grumbled. "I don't want to go."

"Stay the night. I can give you clothes."

Turning to study my face, Mariah spoke softly. "You sure?"

"Mmhmm." Smiling, I kissed her temple. "I've not seen you in a month. I missed you."

"I missed you too."