Harry Potter and the Unwanted Marriage Contract, State of denial
The next part.
Some morning, Harry doesn't care.
Harry Potter, recently divorced, woke up in bed. He got up and showered, then went quietly downstairs.
He made breakfast, set the table and waited.
After an hour of waiting, the Daily Prophet had arrived; nothing interesting going on.
He climbed the stairs and went up to the third floor, and along the landing to Daphne's room.
The door was open, the bed empty. On the bed was a folded letter. In Daphne's handwriting it was labelled 'Harry'.
Harry entered Daphne's room cautiously, and saw that the wardrobe door was open, the wardrobe empty. He suddenly felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He snatched the letter from the bed.
'Harry,
I've gone to my parents house to stay.
I don't feel comfortable here now.
I'll come and see you at the shop to discuss separating our assets.
Daphne'
Harry crumpled the letter in his fist. He'd known that they were getting divorced, the contract had burnt up, but to find her gone, and after he'd smelt the Amortentia. He dropped the letter and went back to the kitchen. He ate mechanically, the eggs and bacon tasteless. Hedgwig turned up and Harry gave her most of breakfast. "Just you and me now, girl" said Harry. Hedgwig ate the bacon and flew off to her perch in the outer cloakroom.
Harry apparated to the shop and opened up.
He went to the back room and started making a new leg for the latest table.
Sue turned up at ten and took over the till.
At about twelve, the shop door opened and Daphne arrived, looking tired. Sue called him "Harry, Daphne's here!"
Harry came out of the back room and nodded to Daphne. She marched the length of the shop and Harry backed into the back room.
"So" said Harry, leaning on a workbench.
"So" echoed Daphne.
"You want half of everything?" asked Harry.
"Half of our income since we got engaged. You can keep all of the Potter and Black vaults" said Daphne.
Harry blinked "That's not much"
"I'll have half of the basilisk funds" said Daphne firmly.
Harry nodded "Your idea in the first place" he said.
"It will take some time to work out the split." said Daphne. "Our accounts were largely cash in the beginning."
Harry chuckled "You selling booze in the dorms. And shaking me down for booze on the train. McGonagall was furious. Thought I was up to no good"
"How are your parents taking it" asked Harry.
Daphne took a deep breath "Not they way I thought they would" she admitted.
"What?" asked Harry, suddenly concerned.
"Mother and Father have had some sort of bizarre conversion and are acting like very traditional parents. They insist I'm wrong, and that We shouldn't have got divorced."
"Are they going to be a problem for you?" asked Harry.
"I think they'll get over it. You know them, they're not like this." said Daphne. "I think they're just reacting."
Harry sighed. Sympathy for his ex wife was not something he thought was on the menu for today.
"Talk about it over lunch?" asked Harry.
Daphne straightened herself and nodded.
The Leaky Cauldron wasn't full, Tom seemed distracted and stopped to talk to Harry.
"So I'm thinking of selling up" said Tom, leaning on the bar.
Harry blinked, shocked, He'd been coming to the Leaky of lunch for six years.
"I'm feeling my age" said Tom, who didn't look older than he had when Harry was eleven. Though, Tom was bald and looked like a walnut. He hadn't changed though. Harry nodded, the plates of salad and fish floating slowly out of the kitchen to Harry's elbow.
"Got an offer from a couple, they wanted to do some shifts, got me thinking and they can afford it..." said Tom.
"You'll be missed, Tom."
"I'm only selling the pub, not dying" said Tom, snorting "I can engage in my hobbies"
"What are those?"
"Oh, you know, cockfighting, bear baiting, that sot of thing. Maybe a bit of shove-knut" said Tom.
Harry looked at Tom aghast.
Tom laughed "You little bugger, I got you. I'm not that old, I'm planning to travel. I hear Brazil is great".
Harry gave Tom a shake of the head and too the plates to Daphne, who was sitting at their usual table, on the side, built in.
"What was that about?" asked Daphne.
"Tom's thinking of selling the pub" said Harry.
"What made you look like you'd got mango instead of Treacle tart?" she asked.
"He conned me, saying he was going off to do cockfighting and bear baiting."
"And you bought it" said Daphne, snorting. "Nobody does those thing anymore" she snickered.
"I wasn't expecting him to fool me"
Daphne rolled her eyes and started on lunch.
After a few bites, she wiped her lips with a napkin; where she'd got it from, Harry had no idea.
"Mother said I was just overreacting to the end of the contract, and that once I saw sense I'd be back home with you" said Daphne.
"We never wanted to marry each other" said Harry.
"Exactly." said Daphne.
"Father asked If you'd hurt me" she said.
Harry scoffed "As if I could" he said. Daphne pursed her lips.
"Then father said if I thought I could sow my wild oats, he would disown me."
"Who does he think he is!" said Harry "I've a good mind to go and give him a piece of my mind".
Daphne put her hand on Harry's forearm "maybe that might not be the best course of action" she said.
Harry tried to relax a bit and asked a question "Do you still have things to move?"
"I took a shrunken and expanded trunk. I've got all my clothes and effects."
"Oh" said Harry.
Daphne ate up, while Harry ate and thought.
"Look, I'll come and make my thoughts clear to your parents, if you think that would help" offered Harry.
"Well, come over for dinner tomorrow. We can discuss this all like adults" said Daphne.
Harry went back to the shop and finished repairing a table. He closed up the shop, took the takings to Gringotts, and banked them. He got a receipt, much to the annoyance of the goblin teller.
He apparated away from the steps of Gringotts, to the steps of twelve Grimmauld place.
He hadn't seen a lot of Sirius recently, only catching up on weekends. He wanted dinner, couldn't be bothered cooking, and wanted to complain to someone.
He knocked on the door.
After a really long time, a dishevelled Sirius opened the door barefoot, in trousers and an untucked shirt. "Harry!" he said, looking surprised.
"The contract finished a day ago and we signed the divorce papers yesterday." said Harry.
Sirius looked apprehensive.
"Come in, Harry" said Sirius.
After Sirius closed the door, Harry asked "What? I'm finally free and you don't even hug me?"
"Harry, you, um… you needed to come see me first" said Sirius.
"What!" said Harry angrily.
"It's a Black family matter, and I'm the head of the family" said Sirius.
"Daphne said her parents were being weird about it too, said she'd be back with me soon. As if I'd let her back after what she did!".
"Harry, you should have come to see me, and I would have approved it immediately. Next time, remember, I'm the head of the house, you have to get my blessing."
"But you'd approve anything, so why bother " said Harry, angrily.
"It's a tradition, and one that we have to stick to, or we loose credibility as the House of Black." said Sirius, looking tired.
"Ho's the quest for Lady Black going?" asked Harry.
"Fair cop Harry." said Sirius. "A lot of witches wouldn't discuss marriage or dating after they heard about you and Daphne being stuck in a contract."
"They what?"
"House Black's justifiably evil reputation"
"Which you're tying to prop up!" said Harry.
Sirius led the into the kitchen, which was a mess. Dirty dishes everywhere, bottles on the floor.
"Kreacher snuffed it" said Sirius bluntly.
Harry sat down with Sirius. "Are you going to clean up?" asked Harry.
"Think I might get a new elf." said Sirius. "I can afford one"
"So, may I have permission to divorce Daphne Greengrass" asked Harry, bitterly.
"Yes you may, Harry" said Sirius and groaned "Next time it's someone you love. This will all be normal"
Harry looked bitter at this.
"You said, Daphne did something..." asked Sirius. "If you want to tell me, I'm listening"
"Sirius, you got me into this mess by being a Black" said Harry.
"Hey, not my fault godson!" said Sirius, crossing his arms.
"Sorry" said Harry. "Still, not happy"
"I don't expect you to be" said Sirius "What did she do? Set fire to your favourite broom, rot all your clothes as she left the house, what?"
Harry sighed "This is a firewhiskey sort of conversation"
Sirius cast a quick "accio firewhiskey", and grabbed the half-full bottle that flew in from upstairs.
He poured Harry a mug full and a mug for himself. Harry looked at the dirty mug dubiously, 'the firewhiskey will kill anything' the figured. And drank. After a mug-full. Harry spoke up.
"She, um, used the marriage contract compliance clause. She made me her servant for the last two years" said Harry.
Sirius looked at Harry, his jaw dropping. "Oh crap" said Sirius, swallowing. He looked pale, thought Harry.
"I never realised she was that good at tricky old magic" said Sirius. "I mean, she's a bright witch, but… I'm really impressed. You got dark-lady'd by your ex-wife. I suppose she made you do all sorts of degrading things." said Sirius.
Harry poured another drink and swallowed it quickly, choking on the fiery liquid.
"Steady on, Harry" said Sirius.
Harry stared at the mug. He drank the firewhiskey, and sighed.
"Okay, maybe not today, Harry, but you can crash here, we'll talk some time about this"
Harry nodded.
"Harry, I have to know, in case I need to press charges, did she make you do anything?"
"No" said Harry.
Sirius looked thoughtful "So nothing like lick the floor, clean the toilet with your tongue."
"No" said Harry angrily.
"Harry, did you fight the compulsion to obey, I remember hearing you were good at throwing off Imperio..."
"She never told me to do anything.. okay!" said Harry, angrily, drinking the rest of the firewhiskey from the bottle. Harry felt floaty, detached from himself. And angry.
"What did she do, Harry?"
"She worked out about the compliance clause… that whoever used it first was in charge" said Harry.
Sirius coughed.
After staring at Harry for a long time, he stood up, and helped a wobbly Harry to bed in one of the spare rooms.
-==0==-
Harry woke up in an unfamiliar room and panicked. After sitting up and finding his glasses and wand, he realised it was an old bedroom at Grimmauld place.
Harry went to move and a stabbing pain in his head started, and he felt queasy.
Shakily, he went to the bathroom down the hall. After washing his hands, he saw a bottle of hangover-potion on the counter. He rinsed the medicine measure and wiped it out, and rinsed it again, then took a dose. It tasted foul. He put the measure down and slowly descended to the kitchen.
Sirius sat, looking no worse than yesterday…. What had he said last night, wondered Harry.
Sirius gave Harry a mug of black tea and indicated the frying pan, which was half full of a slowly congealing mess. "Have some breakfast after the potion" said Sirius, resting his head on his arms.
Twenty minutes later, Harry had eaten some fried leftovers, drunk tea and thought about going to work.
"I should go to work" said Harry.
"We need to spend some more time talking" said Sirius. "We need to go look at the original contract, in the office."
Harry shuddered "That thing, it's been nothing but a curse"
"But you got to sleep with the Greengrass girl" said Sirius.
Harry turned and stared at Sirius "We never did. Not unless I was obliviated" said Harry.
Sirius swallowed "I hadn't realised you two really didn't get on that badly"
"We had to date and marry, and we never loved each other!" yelled Harry. "How do you not understand!"
"Well, I need to see how your Daphne turned that contract on you. I didn't think that was even possible."
"I need to open the shop" said Harry sullenly.
"Well, it's a bit late for that, it's nearly twelve. I put a note on the front door. I said the shop would reopen in two days."
"Two days?"
"Today, and a day to recover from tonight" said Sirius.
"What's happening tonight?"
"We're going out." said Sirius "This afternoon, my shop-owning godson is going to help me buy a new house elf."
"I don't know anything about buying House elves" said Harry.
"You've been working with those elves of yours for years. Ask them"
Harry sighed and called out "Dobby!"
Nothing happened.
Sirius gave Harry a jaundiced eye. "And what did you expect to happen?"
"I called Dobby, he should appear"
"Not inside my house, he won't. Our house is protected against foreign house elves. Go talk to him in the front garden. There's a muggle repelling ward out there, but your little buddy
can appear.
Harry put on some shoes, borrowed a coat and went out the front door.
"Dobby"! He called.
After a while, Dobby appeared with a pop, a tea-towel over his shoulder, looking as grumpy as Harry had ever seen Dobby.
"The Great Harry Potter" said Dobby, sourly.
"Are you okay, Dobby?" asked Harry.
"Where have you been?" asked Dobby.
"Um, I went to Sirius Black's house, this one here."
"Dobby could not find Harry Potter. Mistress Daphne is missing. The manor has no wizards."
"uh, Daphne and I have divorced" said Harry.
Dobby looked at Harry and tilted his head "House elves don't do this divorce thing. Dobby thinks Harry Potter is a poor, employer"
"Dobby, about that, we'll need to go get some more furniture"
"From the Come and Go room" asked Dobby.
"Yes"
"Harry Potter or Mistress Daphne must pick out the furniture" said Dobby firmly.
"I'll sneak in in two days Dobby, I'm doing things today and tomorrow" said Harry.
Dobby folded his arms "And what are Winky and Dobby supposed to do till then. No wizards, no work, nothing to do."
"Um, my godfather Sirius Black is looking for a new elf" said Harry.
Dobby paled and shook his head vigorously "The Blacks are bad masters. The elf Kreacher is a bully and a bad elf"
"Kreacher is dead" said Harry.
Dobby started "Kreacher dieded." Dobby nodded. "Good news for Dobby."
"So do you or Winky know of an elf Sirius could buy?"
"Dobby does not sell elflings" said Dobby, suddenly looking feral.
"I wasn't talking about your elflings, Dobby, honestly, just, I know house elves all know each other, maybe there's an elf who needs a new master"
Dobby muttered something.
"Dobby will ask Winky." said Dobby.
"Dobby, would you and Winky take a cleaning contract for this house, just a day, for payment"
Dobby looked at the house and shook his head "Dobby's not going in there. Dobby couldn't pop out. Dobby is a free elf. Dobby's not going back in a prison."
Harry nodded "Okay Dobby, see you at the shop in two days" said Harry.
"Dobby and Winky be there for paying work" said Dobby, and popped off.
Harry went back inside.
Hours later, after a fruitless trip to the house-elf relocation office, Harry and Sirius went back to Grimmauld place.
"Well, Harry, come back in tidy muggle clothes"
"Are we going out to eat"
"In a manner" said Sirius,
"What are we having?"
"Curry" said Sirius.
"But I don't feel like Curry" said Harry.
"You will" said Sirius, going upstairs.
-==0==-
Sirius side-along apparated Harry into a dingy dark alleyway.
"Where are we going?"
"To get you some therapy" said Sirius, with a small smile.
Harry was dragged along the alley, around the corner and into a dark back street. Parked vehicles crowded the narrow street. Sirius led Harry along the street to a dingy building with a flickering sign. "Live Show" it said.
"Come on" said Sirius and dragged Harry inside.
Just inside the door, a large man in a badly fitting suit eyeballed Harry and Sirius, and nodded after Sirius gave him two tenners.
Sirius took Harry through another door into big dark room, where rock music played with a loud bass beat.
"Oh, a club" said Harry.
Sirius nodded. "We need a wee drink" said Sirius hand went to the bar that ran the width of the room. Sirius waved , gave the not terribly busy bartender a twenty, and got a coupe of glasses of something with ice.
"Sip this" said Sirius, taking Harry to a chair, close to a stage. The other tables were evenly split between groups of men and single men, watching the stage intently.
Harry's mind stopped, and so did his feet.
On the stage, a young woman was taking off her clothes in time to the music.
"Urk" said Harry.
Sirius pulled Harry over and into a chair, where he sat, watching as the brunette took off her shirt, threw away her skirt and pranced up an down the long stage in her underwear. Her very skimpy underwear.
"Don't worry, she'll take that off in time" said Sirius.
A hard to remember number of drinks later, six different dancers having stripped, Sirius asked Harry "So, what do you think"
"I've seen better" said Harry immediately, remembering Daphne in a short towel, rushing from the bathroom to her room. In five years, you see a lot of towel-clad wife, or even unclad wife even if you don't sleep together. They only had the one bathroom on their floor, after all.
"Oh you've been to a club before?" asked Sirius,.
"Nah, Daphne's got a better arse than that one" said Harry, drunkenly.
Sirius snorted. "But you haven't seen her naked."
Harry coughed "One bathroom, five years. I've seen her a few times" he said.
Sirius laughed. "Well, feast your eyes on this lot, cos we're here all night, and you're getting a surprise later."
"If it's a marriage contract, I swear I will boil you blood and use your bones on my roses" said Harry stiffly.
"Oh no, Harry, nothing you can't get away from" said Sirius, laughing.
Five drinks later, the first girl to use the pole at the end of the stage danced away, naked.
"Uhhhh" said Harry.
"Isn't it great" said Sirius.
"Well, I won't sleep well tonight" said Harry.
"Oh Harry, have faith. I've got you sorted." said Sirius.
The music got louder and strobing colour lights started flashing on the stage.
"Ah we got to the main event" said Sirius.
"What was all that?"
"The warm-up acts" said Sirius. "Prepare to be amazed"
A young woman stepped out of the curtains at the end of the stage and started to dance down the stage. She was wearing a schoolgirls uniform, like the ones Harry remembered the senior school in Little Winging wearing, well, sort of like it, the skirt was so short Harry thought he could already see her backside, and the shirt was ludicrously tight, a striped tie over it. She had a blazer on that she quickly discarded. Harry goggled. The young woman had an unbelievable bust.
Once she took off her shirt, Harry was paralysed. Her bra held a pair of breasts so large they defied the imagination. 'The size of quaffles' he thought.
By the end of her strip-tease, Harry was reeling. How was it possible for breasts to be so big.
"Plastic" said Sirius. "Muggle doctors put balloons of water in. Isn't it amazing!"
"Amazing" said Harry, watching as the woman's perky ass left through the curtains.
"So how d you feel about Daphne now?" asked Sirius.
Harry groaned "I'm not sleeping well tonight" he said.
"Just follow me, godson" said Sirius, and led Harry over to a darkened doorway at the stage end of the room.
Sirius handed a wad of money to an older woman who stood inside the darkened doorway, and she led Harry along a dimly lit corridor to a sequined door. "Party room, already paid by your godfather. Don't pay the girl" said the older woman and opened the door, almost pushing Harry in.
The room had a private bar, some couches and a tiny stage. Harry was wondering what the point was when a young woman in a cocktail dress stepped in. Harry gulped. The woman had huge breasts, and perky behind, the dress was slit up to her thigh.
The woman smiled at Harry "Well, sit down, and I'll dance for you" she said. "No touching me"
"Uhuh" said Harry, collapsing onto a couch.
The young woman turned on some music and dance on the tiny stage, her odd high heels making her movements stiff.
"So, you want a lap dance?" asked the woman.
"A what?" asked Harry.
Of you sit over on that chair, and I dance on your lap." sad the woman, turning her back and undulating her behind. Harry gulped. The girl looked at Harry sharply "Cheating on your wife?" she asked suddenly in a sharp tone.
Harry felt confused. "What" he asked.
"Your wedding rings a bit bloody obvious" said the woman.
"Oh, that" said Harry "Got divorced yesterday." he said.
"So that your dad paid for this, that's a bit sick" said the woman.
"My godfather" said Harry. The woman laughed "Oh that brilliant. He's really corrupting you"
She crooked a finger at Harry "Get your ass on the chair and mine will take your mind off your ex."
Harry got up, and embarrassed by his erection, sat in the chair. "No grabbing" said the woman, and lowered her ass onto Harry's lap and started to gyrate.
"Ulp" said Harry swallowing.
"Oh you're tense" she said, rocking back and forth.
"I've never done any of this" said Harry nervously.
"But you were married" she said, grinding when she said married.
"It was arranged. We didn't want to marry. After five years we could divorce" said Harry.
The woman turned her head and stared at Harry "No way, one of you lot coming here?" she said, rubbing Harry's crotch with her backside.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean" said Harry, losing the ability to make long sentences.
"Aristocrats here, what are you, the prince of Demarks' little brother?" she asked.
"I've never seen you in the magazines, so you're not... like the real royal family or nothing. Wow, an arranged marriage"
"It was crap" said Harry.
The rubbing finally broke Harry's self control and he groaned. "Oh shit" he said and groaned.
The woman stopped and got off Harry. "Well, that was quick" she said. "No wonder she divorced you"
Harry looked up from his self-loathing and wondered what to do.
"You're in luck though, because your godfather bought the full package" said the woman, reaching up under her hair to undo her the neck band of her dress.
Harry stoop up awkwardly, got out his wallet and gave the woman the cash he had "Here, just say I did everything" said Harry, leaving the room.
Sirius collected Harry from the doorway and took him outside and back to the alleyway.
"You alright?" asked Sirius.
"evanesco" cast Harry. Sirius chuckled "Oh, like that eh."
"What are we doing now?" asked Harry.
"Curry"
-==0==-
Harry woke up, hung over as hell.
The potion helped.
Harry picked his way through the mess into breakfast.
Much later, Sirius Dragged a still bleary Harry into the study and sat down with Harry and the original of the contract. It smelled of mouldy parchment
Sirius read through if for awhile an then looked at Harry "Harry, read this"
"Sirius, I swear if I have to marry someone again, I'm going to start cursing people."
"Just read this" said Sirius.
'Whereas the party of the first part, to whit, the groom, once bound in matrimony with the part of the second part, to whit, the bride, may be denied by the bride, the party of the first part may press control upon the party of the second part, such that will ensure the compliance with the stated commands of the party of the first part, such that the party of the second part me controlled by the party of the first part."
"Yeah" said Harry. "So if I'd commanded Daphne before she commanded me, I'd be controlled"
Sirius sighed "Harry, there is no reciprocal clause. The Wizard can command the witch. Whatever Daphne did is very clever."
Harry shrugged "She probably jiggered the magic of the contract. She's really good at old magic"
"And she works for the DMLE in records?" asked Sirius. "Because I never saw her there."
Harry looked at his godfather "I can't tell you" said Harry.
Sirius shook his head "Next thing you'll be telling me she's a bloody unspeakable, and you're some kind of magical superhero"
Harry laughed "Not bloody likely. I run an antique shop"
"I never did work out where do you get all you stock from" said Sirius.
"Er" said Harry.
"Harry, are you robbing houses?" asked Sirius.
"No, it's just, well, there's this room at Hogwarts, full of all the lost things, and the house elves and students put broken furniture in there, and well, we've been mining the piles of junk for six years"
"You what?" said Sirius, shocked.
"My friend Dobby and his partner move it to the shop, I fix it and then we sell it. Small profits on shoes and stuff ,but tables sell well."
"You bloody genius. How did you find the room, we never found anything like that"
"I asked an elf the right question" said Harry. "The business was Daphne's idea"
"She… wow. If she was older I'd court her. She's bloody brilliant"
Harry looked at Sirius "Repeat that Idea ever again and I will end you" said Harry coldly.
"So getting under another girl didn't get you over her?" asked Sirius.
"I am Not missing her." said Harry. The next instant, he looked at his watch "I'm nearly late for dinner at Daphne's parents. I'm giving them a piece of my mind."
"No you're not" said Sirius.
"What?"
"You're not visiting them. you're grounded."
"you can't ground me I'm an adult"
"I can because I'm your head of house. The Greengrasses have had six years of being important for being the parents of your wife. No wonder they want her to come back to you. The bit where you inherit everything from Potter and Black , and she inherits all the Greengrass wealth, does that even register. You two were going to be as rich as the Malfoys."
Harry blinked "What? As rich as those bastards"
"They made their money by marrying it, and lost a lot when old Lucy got busted and went to Azkaban." said Sirius.
"I was really going to be richer then Draco Malfoy?" asked Harry, surprised.
"Potter-Black-Greengrass was going to be the next big dynasty." said Sirius.
"But we're divorced now" said Harry.
"Well, that's the other thing"
"I sweat on my fucking Magic, If I get one more fucking contract or something, I'm going to start using entail expelling curses" said Harry.
"Nothing like that Harry." said Sirius. "It's just that you've broken your marriage vows"
"I"m not married anymore." said Harry bitterly.
"Did you say that in your vows?"
"Well, no" said Harry "We were hardly going to say 'To the end of days, or till I can get a divorce'"
"Well, now you're known as someone who goes back on a non-binding vow." said Sirius.
"Huh?"
"So people are going to want binding magical contracts with you from now on, you're officially a slippery character." said Sirius
"Oh fuck all of this" said Harry. "Considering what I've done…. I'm going to go lean on some powerful people who owe me an awful lot"
"Harry, the most you've done is sell reasonably priced antiques, which it appears you didn't exactly pay for."
"Sirius, you know how Voldemort stopped attacking people after my fourth year" said Harry.
"I figure he got tired of it and retired somewhere warm" said Sirius.
"I killed him" said Harry. "Not at the time, but put him out of action ,and killed him a few months back."
Sirius laughed "Good one Harry" he said.
Harry took out his wand and said "I swear on my life and my magic that I have defeated Lord Voldemort, and helped kill him"
Sirius startled "Careful, you do that properly and that's an unbreakable…."
Sirius stared at Harry "Harry… did you really"
"Yeah. The gun really helped"
"Moony took it to go hunt werewolves. The wizard ones can't make it not fire" said Sirius.
"Well it was certainly my lucky gun" said Harry.
"So who helped?"
"The Department of Mysteries" said Harry. Harry tried to say something else and his tongue flapped and his neck choked up.
"Can't say that bit" said Harry.
"Your ex wife, I presume" said Sirius "She's one of them"
Harry rolled his eyes.
"I still can't see how she did the contract" said Sirius. "Tell me exactly she she said and did"
Harry repeated Daphne's fateful words.
Sirius stared at the ceiling for along time, then snorted. "Oh hell" said Sirius.
"What?" asked Harry, even more irritated.
"You've been pranked, by a master. I've half a mind to order you to re-marry her."
"You try that, and you'll have half a mind when I'm done" said Harry.
"She, well, she didn't exactly turn the contract around Harry."
"So what did she do?"
"She bullshitted you." said Sirius. "Told you that you were under control and couldn't talk about it. After the fiasco with the goblet of fire, you'd believe someone who told you you were under control of a contract."
"Why did she do it?"
"She told you, and it's right in the contract. You could just tell her, 'Well, time to ride Harry's broomstick' and she'd be forced by the contract to do it"
"But I wouldn't..." said Harry.
"She' pretty good looking… any man'd be tempted to say "Well, it's blowjob night""
Harry blushed. "I … couldn't do that"
"I should have got more corrupting in before you got married" said Sirius, shaking his head.
And what's with saying I have to remarry her?"
"A prank that fabulous, and the business … She's a marvel. A devious, sneaky, manipulative, pretty marvel."
Harry felt oddly proud of the praise to Daphne.
"So Harry, when my Cousin Bellatrix was married to that LeStrange halfwit, she wasn't inclined, if you get what I mean. He used the contract and she went mad."
"Mad Eye says she was a murderous bitch before she was married" said Harry.
"Well, she was a Black, and a right murderous one." said Sirius "A lot of my family were murderous assholes. It's why you can't apparate into the house. Come to think of it, my mother would approve of Daphne, pureblood, manipulative, devious."
"Well I'm going to go pull on the Department's chain" said Harry bitterly.
"Start by using them to verify yourself with the minister."
-==0==-
Harry didn't really expect the Ministry to cave so quickly.
Within a week ,the first official press release came out. Harry would have been happier if it hadn't said.
'Husband and Wife team defeat Dark Lord. Potters defeat dark lord that killed Harry Potter's parents'
A week later, after a succession of increasingly curt letters, Harry arrived at the Greengrass house for dinner, dressed in formal robes.
He was hustled in by their house elf, and found himself sitting at the dinner table opposite his ex wife, and beside her mother. Her father sat at the head of the table.
There were no other guests.
Harry was polite. Daphne was silent.
Daphne's mother started to talk Harry and Daphne remarrying.
"Stop." said Harry bluntly.
Daphne's father, Cyrus glared at Harry.
"We were forced to marry by a cursed contract. We never loved each other, or even liked each other" said Harry.
Daphne nodded.
"So we will not be repeating that mistake" said Harry.
Daphne nodded. "He's a prat" she said. "And he never would have lasted a week in Slytherin."
Harry scowled. "And Sirius explained your little scam, Missy!" said Harry.
Daphne flushed, then calmed herself. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean" she said, smirking.
"You bloody bullshitter." said Harry "You spun a line about having taken control of the contract"
"And you were so dumb you brought it" said Daphne. "I kept myself safe, all it took was to play off your history of getting stuck in magical contracts."
"You're an awful person. I thought I was a slave for two years" said Harry.
"Enslaved by my intelligence" said Daphne.
"As if I would order you to commit indecency" said Harry, blushing and changing the topic.
Daphne's Parents stared at the exchange in disbelief.
"What, daughter, is Potter talking about" said Cyrus.
"I told Potter that he was my servant, and that the contract allowed whichever party first exercised the control, to control the other. He brought the story, and thus didn't use the contract-granted power to force me to do anything he ordered me to" said Daphne, proudly.
Cyrus choked. "I assumed Potter had already used the contract to ruin you" he said.
"He has never touched me in that way" said Daphne huffily.
"Oh, is he gay" asked Salome, Daphne's mother.
"Just repressed" said Daphne.
Harry's mouth hung open.
Cyrus spoke up "I don't suppose you'd be interested in getting engaged to Daphne? She's too old to come out as a debutante, bad tempered, and has her own career. I believe you already know most of her bad habits, and she's rather deceitful, but you were a good influence on her, her Grades rocketed up once you were engaged"
"Hardly" said Daphne "I had to get better marks than his Muggle girlfriend Granger. Or at least close, or she'd sneer at me"
"Hermione and I were not a couple."
"She wished you were" said Daphne. "Then had to settle for Weasley"
"Hardly a glowing recommendation of either of you" said Harry drily.
"Well everyone has seen the way you two dance, with your eyes closed. You're such pair of lovebirds" said Salome.
Harry snapped "So we can pretend we're dancing with someone we love!"
"What the idiot said" said Daphne crossly.
Salome pulled out her wand and cast a long complicated spell. As she finished, a white mist shot out of her wand, and hit Daphne. The mist stuck to Daphne's head and stretched into a long tendril that stuck to Harry's head.
"What the hell is this" asked Harry.
"A simple divination tool. As you can see, Daphne's heart belongs to you, whether she admits it or not."
"I certainly do not!" said Daphne, red faced, and furious 'The bloody potion keeps going off, and coincidentally smells like Potter'" she said. Harry choked.
Salome cast the spell again, this time hitting Harry with the misty blob. The tendril lengthened and touched Daphne's head, but the two tendrils repelled each other, spiralling around each other, strange helices of magic, anchored to the same places, but repelled from each other.
"That is unexpected" said Salome, as the mist from the first spell started to dissipate.
"What the hell was that supposed to mean" said Daphne.
"Well, Harry's heart belongs to you, and yours to Harry, but… the lines should have joined. Not avoided each other."
Cyrus spoke up "So he loves her, and she loves him but they don't love each other?"
"It shouldn't be possible" said Salome.
Harry couldn't take it anymore. He pulled out his wand and cast a finite on the tendril. It faded immediately.
"Well this has been irritating and humiliating" said Harry. Daphne glared at him, her face frozen in a icy glare. "Don't you dare" she said.
"I don't know what weird pureblood matchmaking scheme you had in mind for tonight, but I'm fed up. Your daughter has numerous good qualities, and I commend her to whoever can stand her"
"You liar" said Daphne. "You pretended not to love me!"
"You frigid bitch" said Harry.
"Hah!" said Daphne "I can cast a silencing charm, maybe you could learn one for when you're in the toilet wanking!"
"Bitch" retorted Harry.
Harry stormed out, a feeling of righteous satisfaction in his heart. He'd told them.
-==0==-
Purely for health reasons, he took Dreamless Sleep potion.
After a month, he started to get mouth ulcers.
His healer told him to stop taking them, and referred him to St Mungos, where they gave him a foul-tasting potion.
He woke up two days later feeling sad, but not crying.
-==0==-
Harry went to the Burrow that Sunday to catch up with Ron.
The place was in an uproar.
"Ginny's been badly injured in a Quidditch match" explained a teary Ron "They think she might not make it"
A teary Arthur Weasley explains that Ginny was hit by a bludger and fell off her broom, hitting her head on the goal-ring on the way down. The healers say she has massive brain injuries and may not ever be the same, if she recovers.
Harry comes around next Sunday to the Burrow for dinner, and meets a pale, wan, Ginny Weasley. At the sight of Harry she blushes. 'Oh god not again' thinks Harry.
Ginny Weasley speaks up "Oh I'm so embarrassed, You're Harry Potter, aren't you"
Harry smiles "Yeah… we went to school together"
Ginny looked a bit lost "I don't remember much before last week" she said "It's all a bit patchy. I played professional Quidditch, so Mum tells me."
Harry took a deep breath. This was weird. This woman was Ginny Weasley, but she didn't remember almost anything.
"Were we friends?" asked Ginny.
"Um, I had a magical marriage contract for years, while I was at school. I had a lot of problems as a result"
"Oh Merlin that sounds terrible!" said Ginny. "How ever did you escape?"
"How do you know I escaped"
"Mum told me, did you really defeat you-know-who?" she asked.
"Yeah, but I can't talk about it, and it wasn't some big heroic thing" said Harry.
"Oh, so like my life, some things that are magical aren't great" said Ginny.
Harry felt irritated by Ginny's mopeyness "Look, you had a really bad accident, and you've forgotten a lot. But you're alive, and you can make choices"
Ginny looked at Harry sharply, and for a second, the red terror that had been Ginny Weasley was back. "You're the first person to snap at me. Everyone treats me with kid gloves."
"They're your family, they're scared. You nearly died"
"I'm fine now. The healers say I can't fly a broom; though I don't want to. They… they scare me" said Ginny.
"I feel the same way about my ex wife" said Harry bitterly.
"Harry Potter, the boy who lived, is scared of his ex wife?" said Ginny, pointedly.
"I have a secondhand store. My NEWTs are nothing special. I'm not some big hero"
"Well you're certainly not big" said Ginny drily. "Perhaps you ex wife has something to say about that"
Harry flushed "We hated each other. We never… we had to kiss, because of a cursed marriage contract."
"Oh my gosh" said Ginny. "How long did this last"
"Five years married, two years engaged before that"
"Why?"
"It was just bad luck. There was an old contract between the House of Black and Greengrass, and we both fit the contract, so it activated."
"That sounds very improbable" said Ginny.
"It's happened twice to me" said Harry. "I have the worst luck"
"Well shoo" said Ginny, making shooing motions "In case a meteor falls on you or something"
Ginny Weasley's not the girl she was, but Harry finds her soothing and dates her. She's polite, remembers little of her life before the accident, but loves Harry intensely. She's a bit, well, odd about some things, but Harry's had five years of angry Slytherin. Compared to that, a woman with a patchy memory is and occasional obsessions is no issue. Puffskeins are fine.
Harry turns up at the burrow with a broom one day and Ginny shrinks away from him, eyes wide. "Keep that away from me" she says, shuddering.
Harry's brain strips several gears, trying to reconcile Quidditch playing Ginny with terrified of brooms Ginny… and realises she must remember some of almost dying on the field. He resolves not to show her a broom again anytime soon.
Harry Potter married Ginerva Molly Weasley on March 17, 2004.
In November 2004, Ginny and Harry have a baby boy, who Harry calls James Sirius.
He's a cute baby, with messy brown hair and hazel eyes.
In November 2005, Albus Fleamont Potter was born. Ginny and her mother chose his first name.
He has black hair and green eyes. Harry calls him Al.
Harry reads in the Prophet one day, while he's sitting at the shop that Draco Malfoy's wife, Astoria Malfoy nee Greengrass given birth to Scorpius Malfoy. Harry shakes his head, Scorpius, what a name. She seemed nice enough, apart from having terrible taste in men.
Ron and Hermione have a baby girl called Rose. Ginny draws Rose heart Albus on a napkin "They're cousins" hissed Harry.
"It's okay Harry. We're purebloods" said Ginny.
In 2008, Harry and Ginny have a baby girl, who they name Lily Luna. She has red hair and dark chocolate eyes like her mother. Harry thinks she might be the cutest thing he's ever seen.
September 1st 2017. It's nineteen years since Harry married you-know-who, as he now thinks of her. He's pushing Albus's trunk trolley, James is pushing his own, and Ginny's holding Lily's hand.
Albus look up at Harry "Dad, what if I don't get sorted into Griffindor?" he asks, nervously.
"Al, the hat wanted to put me in Slytherin. You go wherever you go, and we'll still love you. Your brother, well he's your older brother, so he'll shove you around anyway" said Harry, relaxed as usual.
Harry saw in the distance Draco Malfoy and Astoria putting their son on the train. The boy looked like a typical little Malfoy.
When his son writes in a letter that not only was he sorted into Slytherin, but is best friends with Scorpious Malfoy, Ginny is not pleased. Harry doesn't think it matters.
On the 1st September 2019, Harry noticed a tearful Draco Malfoy putting his son on the train alone.
Lily was very excited to get on the train. But wouldn't let her mum's hand go.
After Lily finally got on the train, Harry asked Ginny "Ginny, did the Malfoys divorce?"
"Harry, didn't you see it in the paper, Astoria died in August. Some sort of family curse." said Ginny idly.
Harry felt sick to his stomach. He hated family curses, and cursed contracts. Astoria had been nice. Compared to her sister… He'd liked Astoria.
Harry's working on furniture at the shop one evening.. It's soothing. Someone knocks on the shop door. Harry walks to the door and opens it "We're closed" he says.
Hermione Weasley, Minister for Magic stand there "Hi Harry" she says.
"Oh Minister" says Harry. "Is this an official visit?"
Hermione rolls her eyes "I'd like a cup of tea" she says.
Harry lets Hermione into the shop and takes her to the back room and makes her tea.
"I just need to talk to someone, off the record" says Hermione.
"Well here we are" said Harry.
Hermione talks and talks. Harry makes her a cup of tea.
"Harry, why didn't you become an Auror" she finally asks.
"Got sick of fighting before I finished school. After I killed Voldemort" Harry stopped "I should not have said that" he said.
Hermione gets up off Harry's chair and gives Harry a hug. "You did it?" she asked.
"Years ago. I was still married to Daphne Greengrass at the time. I can't speak of many mysterious details, if you get my drift" he said.
Hermione laughed and kissed Harry. On the lips. And suddenly Harry and Hermione were snogging, and Harry didn't care. There was a fire in his heart that hadn't been there, since… well Harry wasn't thinking about that day.
"I've always loved you" she admits tearfully.
Harry divorces Ginny and the next year, marries Hermione. His children take it poorly.
James is growing up to be a bit of a prat, observes Harry. James angrily says that his dad's a loser who runs an antique store. Harry's been crucioed by the dark lord, but his sons words leave him sad.
He can never tell his angry son that he did great things. Maybe, James just needs to grow up. James becomes an Auror after Hogwarts. Harry is proud and disappointed at the same time.
James comes to see him, twenty years later, looking tired.
"I'm sorry dad" he says, by way of introduction.
"Baby not letting you sleep?" asked Harry.
"Yeah"
"Hard to keep up at work"
"Yeah, how did you ever bring up us three?" asked James.
"Compared to killing men, bringing you lot up was hard" said Harry.
"Dad, you never.."
"About six or seven, all before I finished school. My first one in first year" said Harry "He was possessed by lord Voldemort".
James is ashen "Bloody Hell!" he cries.
"So after school, I decided to have a quiet life" said Harry.
"Why did you marry your first wife?"
Harry laughed "Got stuck in a magical marriage contract. Had to marry her. She was a very Slytherin witch. We fought like cats and dogs. The contract expired after five years and no children. Daphne Greengrass, works in DMLE."
James looked at Harry "No she doesn't" said James firmly. "I had to go over the payroll records as a trainee Auror. The sort of terrible paperwork job they give the newbies"
"I can't speak of what mysterious things she does" said Harry, winking.
"Crap" said James, eyes widening.
"My first ex wife is a hell of woman" said Harry, wryly.
"So why did you marry mum?"
"She was nothing like my ex" said Harry. "And she loved me"
Years pass.
Harry Potter stands, cold and wet at his wife's Grave. She was only seventy nine. Ron calls to him "Come on Harry, we're getting wet and there's a wake over in the hall."
"I'm sorry Ron" cries Harry.
"She always did like you better" said Ron philosophically.
Harry walks over to the church hall and goes and sits down at the wake, There are a lot of young people, and only a few his age. Ron goes to eat. He's spherical in the middle these days.
Rose married Scorpius Malfoy, and he's there, holding her hand. Maybe he's not such a bad kid. James nods to him, and goes off to wrangle some of Harry's grand-kids.
The wake rolls on, and Harry drifts off into reverie for a bit.
"Potter!" says a voice and His heart pounds. It's her. Greengrass. His first wife. She looks annoyingly good. She's gone grey, has some lines, but still looks like the woman he married.
He's had decades to get over it, and wants to talk to someone his own age.
She sits down at a chair near him, with a cup of tea (undoubtedly with two sugars) and they talk.
They swap stories of who's still alive, who got married, divorced, whose children married who.
Harry feels slightly less dead inside. Catching up with his age group is kind of fun, even if he had to bury his wife to get a party to do it at.
A month later, his doorbell rings. It's her.
August 3rd, 2060, 63 years to the day later, Harry Potter married Daphne Greengrass for the second time. They kiss briefly, and grin at the small group of friends and family
"This time for real" says Daphne.
August 4th 2060, Harry Potter wakes up in bed with his wife. 'Wow' he thinks. 'Should have been nicer to her first time around.'
February 28th, 2125. Harry Potter dies in his sleep. His funeral four days later is a quiet affair. He was known mostly as an antique shop owner, almost as old as what he sold. His wife, Daphne Potter nee Greengrass, stands crying at the graveside until her step-children take her away to the wake.
Daphne Potter takes a week off work to cry. And plot, because she went to Slytherin, dammit.
She heads back to the Ministry on a Monday. The security guard greets her "Mrs P" he nods. The elderly witch, her face haggard, her blue eyes red lined, nods "Meeks" she says.
Bill Meeks watches the old witch enter the lift. She's a nice old lady, sad that her husband died. He was the old guy that ran the antique shop in Diagon alley. She does filing down in the bowels of the DMLE, Bill knows. Nice old girl. Bit harmless, for all that she's got a sharp tongue. His Dad told him once that she used to be a real dragon, then she got married late in life and mellowed out.
Daphne Greengrass exits the lift on level eight and walks down the black corridor to the Department of Mysteries. She waves her hands and her robes transform into the grey uniform of an unspeakable. She pulls up the silver trimmed hood and the shadow of the hood makes her face disappear.
Her hands, gloved now, wave at the door, and it opens.
She hasn't needed to use a wand to do this for sixty years.
She walks into the circular room, clicks her fingers and the room spins. She walks slowly to the door right in front of her and enters the Time room. She pulls her wand and elegantly casts 'colloportus' on the door. Two more quick flicks and all the doors into the room are locked.
She walks to a shelf holding time-turners and taps the wall behind the shelf three times with her wand. A doorway forms and the shelves swing past her. She walks up the shallow staircase to a large room, shrouded in darkness. There is a large brass control panel on a plinth, and she approaches it and sighs.
The control panel has five great big keyholes to stop unauthorised use. Not that it can ever be authorised, as there would have to be an Apocalypse of this thing to be allowed to be used. Daphne doesn't care, because the only man she ever loved is dead, and she's going to get back the time she should have had, and if that means destroying the timeline, well, let it die.
The interlocks were made by the best and brightest of the Department of Mysteries. Unfortunately for the Department, Daphne was the Director Emeritus of the Department, and had been breaking rules since she was fifteen. She took some of the hundred and ten years of magical knowledge, and a muggle pocketknife and an hour later had defeated all the interlocks.
"Really should teach the kiddies how to break into things some time" she muttered.
She stood up, groaned and walked stiffly a very long way along a catwalk in the darkness to a hinged metal egg the size of a person. She opened the egg, put in a letter; she wasn't stupid enough to get in, and walked achingly back to the machine's control panel.
The time dials she set to 1994, just days after Harry would defeat Voldemort. Three in the afternoon should do it.
The location setting used a globe and a pointer. She cranked the wheels and slowly zeroed in on her parents house. She swung in the first, smallest magnifying glass and cranked the smaller wheels, to zero in on her room, in her parents house. After three more magnifying glasses, so huge she could see distances of feet on the globe, she was fairly sure it was set to put the letter on her bed.
With a sad smile, she pulled the large lever that with any luck at all, would cause her to cease to exist.
[AN: corrections by alix33, as usual]
[AN2: Next Chapter is in the works.. and no misery!]