CHAPTER TWO

Maddie wasn't entirely part of St. Elizabeth's rhythm yet, and she could feel it when the other nurses had to pause and tell her something. She hated adjustment periods, she wanted to be the person who knew it all their first day, especially since she'd been working in an ER for over ten years now, and over half of that at the same place, but every hospital had their own quirks and orders of operation. It was hard to dismiss the way you'd done things for years, and she was forcing herself to learn new patterns.

Paramedics didn't usually hang out at Mercy, but Maddie had seen several stick around if only to grab a cup of coffee at St. Elizabeth. Maddie was waiting for the day that she bumped into Buck. She knew it was unlikely, since he didn't work as a paramedic, but firefighters could get injured too. She didn't want to tell her brother that she wasn't at Mercy anymore. She'd have to give an explanation, then, and Buck wasn't the type to be satisified with "I needed a change". No, Buck would need reasons, and Maddie didn't want to give them. Neither did she want to lead with "I don't need reasons" because that would only set her brother off more. He couldn't stand not being in the loop and knowing what was going on. He had always insisted on being included, in every game or party as children, and that had made Maddie's life awkward more than once, since she was ten years older.

She loved her brother. She really did. She just didn't want to tell him this. Not yet.

She walked through the lobby, a week after serving Doug with the divorce papers. She was still on edge, since he'd called her the day he got the papers. She had picked up, but had hung up after all it had been was him yelling.

She wasn't doing this anymore. She'd get a restraining order if she had to, but so far he hadn't crossed a tangible line.

She just wanted him to sign the papers.

"You look off in another world," a voice commented, and she glanced up. It was that paramedic, the one she'd seen around. He always got coffee when he was at St. Elizabeth's, even though their coffee was awful.

"Yeah," she admitted. "You, on the other hand, have got to be the only person I've ever seen enjoy that coffee."

He laughed, and it lit up his face. He was cute, she had to admit. At least 5'8", muscular build, a fantastic smile. It made her feel warm inside. She couldn't remember the last time someone had really smiled at her, and it brought a faint smile to her own face.

"It's not good coffee," he said. "Funny how that's all paramedics and nurses end up talking about."

"Well, we're all fairly obsessed with caffeine," she gently reminded. "It's one of the only ways to get through a shift here."

He smiled, and they both fell silent for a minute. "You're, uh, new here," he commented. "I come here often enough to realize when they have a new face."

"Yeah," she said. "I just transferred."

She no longer introduced herself first, a habit Doug had instilled in her because he thought it was flirting.

"Okay," he said, taking the hint when she didn't say her name. She liked that in a guy, someone who paid attention to the smaller cues. "I'll see you around."

"Most likely," she agreed, and he tilted his head, confused.

She didn't want to be mean, but she was also tired of guys who just wanted to bang nurses. She didn't think that was him, necessarily, but being too friendly on the first meeting wasn't something she did anymore.

He waved awkwardly and walked off, leaving Maddie standing at the desk and wondering if she regretted doing that.

She finally decided that she didn't, walking away from the desk with the firm resolve to introduce herself the next time she saw him.

He'd be lying to say that Maddie acting so stiff around him didn't put him in a funk. Sue him, he'd thought there was something there, but as usual, it was just his imagination.

She'd looked so good today too, with her hair in a bun this time.

He wondered what it looked like down, but he doubted he'd get a chance to find out.

Hen was waiting for him, as usual, rolling her eyes at the coffee. "You know you're going to have to tell me what this is about one of these days, right?" She teased. "Becaus Chimney Han is not usually a lover of bad cofffee."

"It's over now," he said. "There was a cute nurse but I finally get up the nerve to talk to her, right, and she blows me off."

"She might have been having a bad day," Hen shrugged, as they turned right to get back to the station. "There are a lot of reasons she might not have taken you up on something today. A girl's gotta be careful, you know."

"I mean, we've seen each other around for a few weeks now," Chimney said. "There hasn't been eye contact or anything, but she knew who I was. She said something about how I was always drinking the coffee here."

"Well, it's a hard thing to miss when their coffee is trash," Hen said. "A paramedic who always fills up? I'm sure everyone has been talking about you."

"Hush," Chimney said. "I just made a fool of myself, didn't I?"

"No," she corrected. "But at the same time, I'd stop drinking the coffee there, if I were you."

He laughed it off, and Hen laughed too, but inside, he put away the new hope that something would come of this. Maddie obviously wasn't interested.

He would just have to be okay with that, and honestly, it was fine. She didn't owe him anything, and at the end of the day, it had been a long shot anyway. As if a woman like her would be interested in him, who hadn't even been able to keep Tatiana.

God, would that woman ever stop haunting him? Even after he'd given her the LAFD fire calendar, he felt empty inside. Hen kept assuring him that he was better off but honestly, it didn't feel like that. It was almost a year later, and it felt like he was in the exact same place.

And he hated it.