Tony looped his tie around once more before straightening it around his neck. He looked in the mirror and smoothed some creases out of his suit before walking to his bathroom and combing his hair.

He took his gaze from his hair to his tanned face. He looked exhausted, he looked distraught, he looked numb. He felt numb too, he hadn't slept in a couple days and he kept drowning his sorrows in TV and Whisky.

Once he finished getting ready he grabbed his keys and started his drive to the NCIS building. As he drove he thought about Kate, her smile, the way her eyes creased slightly when she really smiled. Her hair, the way her brown hair flowed down to the middle of her back. Her eyes, the way they twinkled in the right light. Her smell, how her perfume lingered around the room minutes after she had left.

He reached the building and parked his car. He tried not to notice all the people talking about Kate's funeral. He reached the elevator and rested his head against the cold metal as the shaft went up.

Tony walked out of the elevator and over to his desk. He tried desperately to block her desk from his view but the urge to turn his head grew harder and harder to resist. He found himself staring at the empty chair which once held his partner, his best friend.

"tony?" Abby said softly as she rested a soft hand on his arm. He turned his head and smiled softly at her before she engulfed him in a hug. "Are you okay?" She asked, he looked into her eyes and noticed they were dim, not as bright as they usually were. "are you?" he asked, she took her gaze away from him and nodded.

"are you guys ready?" Gibbs said as he arrived with McGee. The two nodded slightly before following their bosses lead to the elevator. "boss, do I have to speak? At the funeral?" Tony asked as the elevator shaft went back down to the carpark. "only if you want to" he replied, his usual booming sarcastic tone was softer and sincere.

The four piled into a car and made their way to the church. Tony rested his head on the cool glass and watched as the tops of buildings and trees passed by, before he knew it they were pulling up outside the church.

The team walked into the church slowly. The first thing Tony noticed was the brown coffin, he knew there was no body inside but he couldn't help but stare. For him, a coffin meant it was the end, and tony didn't want to believe it was the end, he wanted to believe she had somehow escaped and was hiding out somewhere.

He then took his gaze to the photo next to the coffin. It seemed to be a high school photo taken in her senior years.

"Tony, this is Elizabeth, Kate's sister" Gibbs said as he approached. Tony shook his head and glanced over at the women. He felt his jaw drop when he saw her, she was a spitting image of Kate. Sure, her hair was a little shorter and darker but the facial features were the same

"hello" She said softly as she shook his hand, he smiled at her and took his gaze back to the coffin.

The guests sat down in their chairs and the voices turned to murmurs as the pope began to speak.

"we are here today to honour the passing of Katelyn Todd" he started. "Loving daughter, sister, friend", "katelyn was loved by many, known by many more, I still remember when she was 11 and she would come to this church with her family every Sunday" he said with a smile.

"I call upon her Mother, Marie, to come up and speak in her honor" he said before walking off to the side and standing near the coffin. A women in a black dress with a vail walked up to the podium and began to speak.

"I don't even know where to start, I never thought I would have to be at my own Daughter's funeral" She started, "Kate was the most genuine person you could ever meet, she always had a smile on her face, she was always willing to help someone or something in need. I still remember the day we were driving home from school and there was a family of ducks on the freeway, she made my stop the car in the middle of traffic so she could get out and make sure they got to the other side safe" she said with a smile.

A few of the guests chuckled slightly at the memory. Her mother walked down from the stage and sat back with her family. Then her sister walked up and began to speak.

"Katie was the best sister I could ask for, she was caring, always happy to help with any problems I had come across. I remember one day in the 9th grade I was being bullied by these two girls, she walked up to one of them and punched her in the nose. She was always my hero, she will always remain my hero" She said.

The pope walked back to the podium and began to speak again, "I would now like to invite some of her colleagues to come up and speak" He said as he gestured to us. Gibbs looked over at me and I shook my head, there was no way I was going to be able to stand up on that stage, overlooking the sea of mourning people.

He nodded in understanding before walking up to the podium. "Kate was one of the best agents I've ever had, she was fast, she was strong and she was bold. She would never let something stop her, if she got stuck on something she would take a step back and evaluate the situation before continuing. Kate was like a daughter to me, I will never forget her" He said with a smile.

After a couple more people had spoken it was time to take the coffin to the graveyard. The choir began to sing as six men hauled the coffin onto their shoulders and carried it out of the church. The guests all began to stand up and leave, presumably to head home and see their loved ones.

"are you okay?" Abby asked as she and Tony followed the coffin outside. "I will be" he smiled before they all headed to the car again. Tony watched the car in front the entire drive over, never taking his sight off the coffin.

Tony held Abby's hand as they watched the coffin be lowered carefully into the ground. Once underground, one by one her family and friends put a rose into the ground.

Tony walked over to the coffin and stared into the hole. He twisted the rose in his fingers a couple of times before he dropped it onto the coffin. Only now, only now that he was looking at the coffin in the ground had he realised how much he actually cared for Kate. He had always seen her as a partner and a friend but now, after seeing the coffin be lowered into the ground had he realised he loved her.

Once he arrived home he chucked his keys onto the couch and walked over to his fridge where he poured yet another glass of whisky. He couldn't stop himself, it was the only thing that stopped the pain, only think that made him forget.

With a shaky hand, Tony reached up to his neck and undid his tie. He felt the release of pressure as the tie slipped off his neck. He walked to his couch and turned on the TV as he took another swig of his whisky.

He slumped on the couch as he flicked through the channels. He stopped when he got to the news channel, he sat up slowly when he saw the headline. " family and friends mourn the death of ex secret service agent Katelyn Todd". The news showed a helicopter view of the casket being carried out of the church and showed the casket being lowered into the ground.

He snapped the TV off and walked to his bedroom, leaving the whiskey on the table. He dropped onto his bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow

A/N: im not religious so Idon't know if i used the pope in the wrong context or not, I'm sorry if I did.