Henry closed his eye. He took a deep breath and visualized the track, he knew it by heart at this point. Once more he made sure his hair was tied together properly – at some point, he had abandoned the thought of cutting it again and again and just started tying it together instead.
Then he opened his eye and fixated the suspended stone bowl filled with sand, that had a currently sealed hole in the middle, he used as a stopwatch. Once more he took a deep breath – and pulled a string to remove the seal and set the timer off. In the same second, he leaped forward.
Henry ran, he ran as fast as if a hundred rats were chasing behind. He had illuminated the track with little fires beforehand and so he saw his path clearly.
A single lap around the entire island now took him around a minute, when he had first attempted it, it had been almost three. Then through a winding corridor that was consistently ascending and led into the mountain. Soon he reached a bigger cave with a steep wall leading upward.
Henry jumped as high as possible, grabbing onto a ledge, around seven feet up. The bandages he had wrapped around his hands prevented him from cutting himself on the sharper edges of the wall as he climbed up.
When he, at last, lifted himself over the final ledge, a few minutes later, he was standing on top of the mountain. One of his fires was here as well, and allowed him to see, as he picked up the sling he had prepared.
Five shots, three misses – one of them barely – his aim had gotten better as well, over the course of the last month. He stuffed the sling into the back of his belt and started the descending climb.
The first twenty feet or so were extremely steep, more than once he found himself dangling from a ledge, only being able to hold on with a single hand, but he had no fear.
Heights didn't scare him anymore, not like they had after the fall. Not when Thanatos was in close proximity, anyway. Henry remembered he still occasionally had nightmares of falling into a dark abyss, but he shook the thought angrily. That wasn't him anymore. He didn't want to be that boy, the one who had nightmares caused by trauma, the one who was so weak he couldn't fend for himself.
He frustratedly chased the thoughts from his mind and focused on climbing instead. Ledge by ledge, foot by foot, he descended down, and soon he could walk again. He ran the last few feet and took a glance at his timer, he was still well in time. All that was left was the final lap.
Once more, without bothering to stop and catch his breath Henry started running. The circumvention took him more than a minute this time, but only barely.
As soon as he saw the timer come into view, he channeled his last energy reserves and broke all his records almost flying the last twenty feet. Heavily panting he reached for the makeshift-stopwatch and closed the hole with his hand. For a second he stood there, trying to catch his breath, before reaching for the seal and properly shutting it. Then he glanced inside.
"Did you break your own record – again?" A voice sounded from his right and Henry turned to see Thanatos, who had just landed on the beach beside him. By the looks of it, he had been out fishing. He dropped four big fish before the exiled prince and Henry felt his stomach growl.
He glanced into the stone bowl. Approximately a quarter of sand had remained inside. "Yep, I think I did. I'm getting better by the day."
"And you think this will help you?" Thanatos had already started eating one of the fish.
Henry averted his gaze but scoffed. "It... it does help me, okay? I actually feel like I am accomplishing something when I do this. It makes me... it's good for my self-esteem."
"You don't feel useless and weak anymore?" Thanatos had no problem voicing what Henry hadn't wanted to say.
All the exiled prince did, was nod. His good mood from the successful training course run had vanished, he picked up a cloth he used as a towel and after he had dried himself off, he reached for his backpack, which lied out of the way on the floor, grabbed a shirt and put on his boots again.
After he was fully dressed, he sat down next to one of the fires, he had lit his way with, and poured more fuel in. When it had become big enough, he stood up to fetch the bowl he had used as a stopwatch. He emptied it of sand, rinsed it quickly, set it up over the fire, grabbed Mys and started dissecting one of the fish Thanatos had brought.
Henry watched the pieces roast over the flame. How long were they on the island now? He assumed around a month, though this time, he hadn't kept a tally. All he remembered were his results from the training course he had set up for himself not long after they had arrived.
He had run it every day since then, and Henry remembered every single time. The frustration at first, at how out of shape he was, and the soon improving results. In addition, he had started doing the classic routine he remembered from his training back in Regalia every morning and evening – push-ups, sit-ups, stretching and the acrobatic exercises.
There was no real need for it, but Henry felt more in control of his own abilities like this. At this point, he was in better shape then he had ever been, and it was a nice feeling being good at something, at least.
The injury around his eye had healed as much as it ever would now, the new tissue was still a little sensitive, especially what had grown in the socket itself, and it was still colored in an angry red, but it had healed. The scar would remain, and would always be visible, he knew that.
Henry had, as of recently, not even bothered covering it up with bandages anymore, to let the new skin breathe. And secretly he had hoped every morning to wake up and see the distinctive color and the scarred, mutilated tissue had faded away overnight, but of course, that never happened.
As much as his physical condition had improved over the course of their stay here, as little had changed when it came to his fighting abilities. He was constantly nagging Thanatos to go and look for new jobs for them, but the flier always insisted it wasn't time yet.
And it was most certainly not because of his own wing. The injury had healed entirely, and he had quickly adapted to the artificial tissue, that was barely visible anymore. No, he refused because he thought Henry wasn't ready yet, and as much as the exiled prince hated it, he knew he was right, at the end of the day.
His aim with the sling had improved, but not much. All that had happened was, he had figured out a better way to aim under these new circumstances, but he was still far from being as confident with the sling as he had been before.
Sword fighting was almost even worse. He had tried to work on becoming more precise when swinging the blade, but as he couldn't judge distance anymore, that was nearly impossible. Another issue was the fact that he couldn't see his sword anymore, without tilting his head, when he held it right. Henry had tried to practice fighting with the left hand, and he was even fairly decent at it by now, at least compared to his fighting skills overall, but it posed no solution to the distance problem.
It threw his precision off completely, and Henry was at a loss as to what to do. He couldn't stay hauled up here forever, after all. Well, he could, probably, but he didn't want to. There were so many things he still wanted to do and staying here his entire life seemed almost worse than death at this point.
He took a deep breath after he had finished his first portion of fish. "Death... you know what I want to say. It can't go on like this. I wanted to lay low, yes, but not waste my entire life here." He mindlessly traced the letters that read "Mys", he had carved into his dagger a few weeks ago.
"You can't leave now", the flier sighed, "not with your current fighting skills. Or, should I say, without them. You'll be killed by the first thing that attacks you."
Henry groaned. "And what am I supposed to do instead? You realize that this is as good as it will get, right? I have tried everything, it will never be like before!" His voice was shaking with frustration and anger, "I can not hide here for the rest of my life! I'd RATHER BE DEAD!"
Thanatos' head jolted around when he heard the angry cry. "Don't... don't say that. Don't ever say that." Henry thought he saw a glimpse of something in his eyes that he had barely ever seen before – fear.
"Why?" His tone was challenging. He had had enough of the flier trying to boss him around again.
Thanatos looked away and hesitated. "It is not like you. You said you would fight the universe for every ounce of life in your body – didn't you?"
Henry rolled his eyes. Here he went again, finding excuses. As always. "No, Death, the REAL reason." In the blink of an eye, he decided he had had enough. "I'm not going to pretend to fall for your bullshit this time. I know that you're lying – I have always known it. You lied from the start when I asked you for the reason behind everything you've ever done for me, don't you think I don't know that."
Thanatos' gaze was irritated, but at the same time, the fear hadn't vanished either. "What... are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about?" The frustration of essentially being stuck here and his own doubts in himself, that had piled up over the course of the last month, finally made the last of his reserve crack and collapse.
"I am talking about how you give off the impression like you still don't trust me! You never even truthfully told me why you saved my life back then – and don't say it was an instinct again. I have had enough to do with fliers in my life to know it takes more than that to save the life of a complete stranger, and later come back to carry them out of the danger, as you did with me. Especially if you are risking your own life in the process. Like if he's falling among hundreds of rats that all have functioning claws, and could have injured more than just your wing."
Thanatos sat motionlessly, like frozen, and stared at Henry with widened eyes.
"What, did you really think I bought that? I'm not an idiot, you know?" The exiled prince started burying his hand in the sand he was sitting on. "You lied about why you took me in, why you remained at my side – and now you are lying again, it scares you when I mention my own death, but it's more than just affection for me that causes it. It's this one thing that you don't want to tell me, isn't it? The thing that is probably the true reason behind most of what I just mentioned."
Thanatos still didn't move a muscle.
Henry groaned frustratedly – "Listen, I know you like your secrets, but don't you think I have a right to know?" He paused for a second – "We are bonds. Shouldn't that at least mean you trust me enough to tell me the truth?"
For the first time the flier moved, but only to avert his gaze. A shiver of fear ran down Henry's spine when he realized something. In a quieter voice, and without looking at Thanatos, he continued – "You know, this is exactly what drove me and Ares apart. The lack of trust. And you know exactly what happened with him and I. Is that how you want US TO END AS WELL?!"
Henry heard his own voice only through a cloud of mist, he realized he had shouted, and judging by the expression on Thanatos' face, he had struck a nerve.
The flier rose up, and Henry saw that he was shaking. "You are very quick to assume, aren't you? While you have NO IDEA what you are TALKING ABOUT – usually, and now. So go back to your little training course or whatever it is you want to do, I don't care, but don't go around accusing ME of lacking trust."
He shook his head, trying to stop his voice from trembling – "If you would for a second think about what you are saying, you would maybe find that I have shown my trust in you more times than any of us can count. And if sharing an old story that has nothing to do with the present and wouldn't mean ANYTHING to you anyway, is the only way to earn your trust – then I'm good without, thanks." With that, he spread his wings and lifted off, the last Henry saw of him was the distant white of his face as he disappeared behind the mountain.
The exiled prince found himself alone at the beach, drained and tired from the exercise and the argument. All he really felt like doing way lie down and cry, but he knew that wouldn't get him anywhere.
Frustratedly, he kicked the sand with his foot. What was the big deal? "An old story that has nothing to do with the present and wouldn't mean anything to you anyway", Thanatos had said. What had he meant by "wouldn't mean anything to you"? Everything concerning the flier meant something to him. They were bonds – their lives were one. How could it not?
No, Henry suddenly thought, how could I say that – that thing about me and Ares. He felt horrible having brought that up, as if he could even remotely compare the two. Yes, it was out of the question that Thanatos wasn't entirely sincere when it came to his reasons for many things, but it was unfair comparing that to the estrangement and the lack of trust that had driven him and Ares so far apart that both ended up betraying the other.
Henry sighed audibly. What a great start to the day this had been.
He ran the course twice more that day. Usually, once a day sufficed, but Henry needed to let his frustration out on something, so he spent the day exercising.
Later he collected his things to return to the cave they slept in, which was the same he had stayed in while building the boat to get off this island during his first stay. After having eaten the leftover fish Thanatos had caught earlier, he thought about what to say for the first time. Henry would have to find a way to apologize, he knew that, and he hated it. Still, this time, it was unavoidable.
Thanatos was already in the cave, rolled up in a ball in a corner. His eyes were open though, their amber glow followed Henry as he entered and tossed his bag into a corner.
He sighed and sat down next to Thanatos, on the fur he had lied out as a bedsheet. He didn't look at the flier when he started talking – "Hey, look – I'm sorry, okay?"
It felt weird saying that – he never apologized to anyone usually. "I shouldn't have said that, I was..."
But Thanatos interrupted him – "... tired and frustrated and angry? I know. And besides...", he sighed as well, "it's not like you were wrong."
"No, I was. The thing about Ares was..."
"I wasn't talking about that." The flier scoffed, "I meant you accusing me of lying. You were right about that. But that still doesn't give you the right to assume I don't trust you."
Henry sighed. "I know, and that's what I'm sorry for. I shouldn't have mentioned that, it's just..." He gulped. Henry knew exactly why he had brought it up, and it wasn't for a reason he wanted to disclose. But, if I expect him to trust me with personal stuff, shouldn't I lead by example? Henry still didn't look at the flier, when he slowly continued.
"The reason I brought that up, was because –", he hesitated, "because I was scared I might lose you too, as I lost him." His voice was quiet and he spoke fast, but Thanatos heard him clearly.
"You..." He was quiet for a moment, processing what Henry had just said. It was rare they ever voiced affection for each other or really talked about anything personal, so he was clearly taken aback.
Then he sighed. "You won't lose me, Henry. I promise. Not anymore."
"I know... and yet I was scared. I guess I will be forever." The exiled prince threw him a glance for the first time. The flier's amber eyes now emitted compassion and care.
"Look, you need to understand this." Thanatos sighed, "I am not used to sharing private things like this. I have lived on my own for seven years, I still need to get used to not being alone anymore. I – and listen up carefully now, because I will probably deny ever having said this tomorrow – but I know that you are right when you say I have trust issues. That's what happens when you lose everything you ever held dear like I did, so long ago." He closed his eyes. "And I am not like you, Henry."
The exiled prince tilted his head to look at him. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean", the flier paused, "I mean that you strive to confront your past and make up for it, while all I have done these last seven years is run away from mine."
Henry was silent at that. He didn't really know what to respond to that, instead, he let Thanatos continue. "Look, I won't share this with you today, okay? But I promise I will... eventually. Give me a little more time, and you will soon know everything. I... I'm just not ready. Not now."
Henry sighed but nodded. What choice did he have? "I get it. Kind of. It's like me waiting to tell Teslas the truth about myself, isn't it?"
"Yes, compare it to that if you like." Thanatos seemed glad Henry had something similar through what he could relate to it.
"But there's one thing", Henry continued, "you said it wouldn't mean anything to me anyway." He sighed, "that's not true, you know?"
Thanatos opened his eyes again and stared at him, bewildered.
"Everything concerning you means something to me. It's what being bonds means, is it not?"
He heard the flier chuckle a little. "You have a point. Maybe I stepped over the line myself. But I think that's just how it is when we argue. You are right though, if it would be reversed, I'd say the same thing to you. We are one, we are the Death Rider – that's what you said."
"We are. Just... just stop treating me like a little kid and try to boss me around, okay? Because we've talked about that before."
Thanatos sighed. "I know, I know. It's just... as concerned as you are about losing me, I am about losing you. Letting you go out there in this state, anything could happen."
"But you'll protect me, won't you? At least until I can do it myself again."
The flier looked at him again. "Of course. Still, it's not the same." He paused for a moment, "How are you so sure you will ever be able to protect yourself again? Not long ago you said it will never get better."
Henry chuckled. "I was frustrated, that's all. But hey – last time life threw me down to rock bottom I climbed up and emerged more prepared than I ever was before. Now, that life has decided to throw me down to another rock bottom, who's to say the same thing won't happen again?"
Henry grinned – "You'll see, at the end of all this I'll be stronger and better prepared than I ever was before, again. It's what I do."
He had put on a confident front but in truth, Henry wasn't entirely convinced of his own words. Something about this seemed so final, like nothing could ever make it better. Then again, he had thought that exact same thing, around half a year ago. And he had pulled through.
They sat in silence for a while, but it wasn't an unpleasant silence. The torch Henry had brought and made to stand in the middle of the cave flickered and went out due to the lack of fuel soon.
"Hey, how about we go to sleep for today, and tomorrow we'll resume this conversation. I am drained as hell, I ran the course twice more earlier."
Thanatos chuckled. "Needed to channel the anger?"
"Exactly." Henry took off the belts that held Mys and a few other bags and tossed them where he echolocated his backpack. His boots followed only seconds later and as soon as he stretched out on the fur, Henry was consumed by the oblivion of sleep.
When he woke up the next day, Thanatos was already gone. That's how it usually was, so Henry wasn't concerned. The flier was an insufferable early riser, that was something he was certain he would never understand.
Just as he was about to put on his boots and collect his things for the day, before starting his exercise routine, he noticed a noise at the entrance. To his surprise, Thanatos came flying in, visibly excited.
"Henry – come quick, the suppliers are here!"
The exiled prince's face immediately lightened up. Once a month, the crawlers on the island had promised, suppliers from the mainland would come and deliver goods. Last time, they had come right after Henry and Thanatos had arrived, turned out the crawler's suppliers were moths, and they had brought all the important stuff they needed – medicine, fuel, different types of food and so on. Later, the crawlers had said they instructed the moths to bring those things for their guests.
Henry didn't have the highest opinion of the crawlers still, but that he had to admit, they were decent hosts.
Now, he mounted up quickly, and Thanatos flew over the top of the mountain, to the beach where Henry had first been washed ashore when he had discovered this place. Now, an entourage of three moths with a long, elegant-seeming, and clearly human-made boat hovered over the beach. The boat was packed with goods.
It took Henry and Thanatos almost the entire morning to help unload everything, and the exiled prince was overjoyed to finally have an abundance of fuel and medicine again.
When they were done, he approached one of the moths, one with nicely ornated, orange wings. "Hey, do you maybe know someone who could use mercenaries? We're still looking for new jobs."
Thanatos threw him an accusing glance from where he had just sat down a package with food, but Henry ignored him. The flier wasn't his parent, he wouldn't let him boss him around anymore. It was time to get back into the flow, and without real-life practice, he would never get better anyway.
The moth eyed him, apparently surprised. "Oh no. Nobody thinks of that at the moment. It is not the time now."
Henry furrowed his brows. "What are you talking about?" From behind he sensed Thanatos had heard the response and was approaching too.
A different moth, who seemed to be the leader of the group, answered instead – "Have you not heard? The Curse of the Warmbloods is upon us. It occupies the minds of everyone. It leaves no time for things that would require mercenaries."
Henry froze in place. "The... what now?" Curse of the Warmbloods – the exiled prince had no idea what the moth was talking about, but in his mind, he went over a hundred scenarios as to what it could mean, and he didn't like any of them.
"The Curse of the Warmbloods", the moth repeated, "your people sometimes call it – the plague. It came over the Dead Land a few weeks ago. The gnawers die in large numbers. Your kind fights it, though we hear the human city has been befallen too."
A plague...? Henry had trouble not starting to panic. How had he not heard about it yet – Regalia had been befallen, they said. His mind immediately reeled to everyone he cared about – Luxa, Nerissa, Vikus, Solovet, Mareth... The list was nigh endless.
But then again, how could he have heard about it? He had spent the last month playing around on this isolated island among crawlers.
"This is a problem", he heard Thanatos' voice from behind. "Hey, do you know if any nibblers are affected too?"
The nibblers! Henry hadn't even thought about his friends in the jungle. Teslas, Lovelace, Curie, Cevian and all the others – he stared at the moth, eager for a response.
"Not that we have heard of. We prefer to stay hidden for as long as it lasts. We are not warmbloods, so it does not affect us, but it is still safer this way." The moth answered and Henry and Thanatos exchanged glances.
"We need to check on them." Henry was pacing around on the beach. Forgotten was the joy about the new things, on his mind was only worry for his friends, humans and nibblers alike.
"We wanted to go see Teslas anyway soon, didn't we? To report back concerning the ignifer pellets and to check in and share stories like last time. This is the perfect opportunity, is it not?"
Thanatos, who was lying next to the standing torch, sighed. "I would say this is only another excuse to get off the island, but I am worried myself. And besides, you are right. We haven't seen them in ages."
"Let's go then", Henry immediately grabbed his things and the torch.
"Hey, hey – lets at least eat something first. All that work this morning made me hungry."
Henry put the torch back, resigned, and opened a supply crate. It was filled with delicious-smelling fruit, grain for bread, and large mushrooms, and the exiled prince immediately noticed his stomach growl. Because of the suppliers, they had missed breakfast, and he only now noticed that he was incredibly hungry.
After he and Thanatos had feasted on what the moths had brought, together with some fresh fish the flier had caught, Henry decided he would make bread first, so that they had something to take with them for the journey.
It took the entire day and was corny and little tasteful, as he had no way of salting it, but for sandwiches, it would suffice.
While the bread had baked, Henry had, for the first time, considered what to do with his missing eye. This journey meant seeing people again, people that knew him, and who he didn't want to see him like this.
After some consideration, he had taken a spare piece of leather, cut it into size and worked it until it looked like a half-decent eyepatch. He strapped it on and realized it wasn't even that bad. When he looked at himself in a puddle of water, he saw that it didn't cover the scar completely, but it made it look much less gruesome. And also, Henry noticed, it made him look sort-of unruly and raffish, like a true veteran lone-wolf outcast – someone you shouldn't mess with.
He grinned and decided he liked this new look for himself. After all, that was the only thing he still could strive to become.
After waking up Thanatos, who had used the time to take a nap, and telling him he was ready, Henry packed everything essential into the bags he had recently made for the flier to wear. A supply of medicine and fuel, the bread, and a few pieces of fruit. He made sure to store the ignifer and the notebooks, both, the one from his mother and his own, in the waterproof container again.
The rest he decided to leave in the cave for later. He filled his own backpack with his spare clothes and other personal belongings, that they wouldn't need on a regular basis. It was nice to have the extra storage, that way he could fit more of everything.
"You ready?" He asked while mounting up.
"To cross the waterway? Even if only from west to east?" Thanatos chuckled. "Always."
With that, he lifted off and gained altitude, soon, all that Henry could see of the island was a tiny spot in the endless-seeming, slightly glowing blue of the waterway.