2. The Spider Web
-What's up?-
-...nothing.-
Lazuli glanced at her brother, who looked back at her to make it clear that he was not convinced, at all. She was sitting at her desk counting a bunch of notes with utter satisfaction.
His gaze grew colder:
-You know, I don't appreciate you lying to me: something is not right with you, and I can pick it up. Like a signal, you don't say.-
She shook her head and heaved a sigh, her straight bobbed hair gracefully moving with her:
-I don't know; I'm worried.-
Lapis's eyes widened in bewilderment: it was the first time in sixteen years that his twin sister had said something like that. Not even when gang life was tough had Lazuli ever shown the slightest sign of fear.
-I'm very worried: I haven't told anyone.-
-Well Lazuli, good for you! You hid it from our mother but remember, you can lie to anyone but me.-
Her brother's impatience was starting to irk Lazuli:
-Gimme a break! I kept it to myself because at first I thought it was nothing and I didn't want you to stress.-
Lapis rested his chin on his hand, drawing in a breath: brotherly love always won.
-I'm afraid someone is stalking me. Let me explain: for about a month, every time I've come home alone there was always an old man asking me to help him cross the street. At first it didn't feel weird, but then I noticed that he was always there, always waiting for me. I saw him from afar as I approached the intersection, down the street.-
-An old man?- the boy asked with a frown -waiting for you every day to cross the road with you?-
Lazuli nodded. But only when she was alone: if Lapis or anyone else was with her, he didn't show up.
-Do you think it has anything to do with other gangs?-Lapis said nothing; he just walked back and forth staring at the floor tiles, arms crossed over his chest.
-Do you know what he's been asking me lately?- Lazuli burst into a hysterical laughter -to go for walks with him, to go home with him!-
Hearing that Lapis winced, raising his head. Dark hair framed the burning gaze in his eyes:
-Who is it? Tell me, I'll smash him. I mean it.-
Lapis had never felt like that; he was no stranger to men and women ogling his sister, guys knocking on the door or catcalling her in the streets.
A pretty girl like Lazuli turned heads wherever she went, the brother was used to it. However thinking of an old sleazebag stalking Lazuli, touching her as he spoke to her not only disgusted him, it made him angry.
I'm going to put a bullet through you angry.
-Don't rush- Lazuli protested -we never killed anyone, we mustn't start now.-
The two of them had managed to stay afloat and make money without getting locked up thanks to their discretion.
They were very careful: where they went, what they did, how they moved around. Nobody in the gang knew their faces, the two of them were very jealous of their identity: knowing that their appearance would be easy to remember they ran their shady business dressed in total black, wearing black balaclavas and also contacts to mask the colour of their eyes.
So did the rest of the gang.
-I don't even know his name. I just know that either I'm going crazy, or I see him everywhere, even the street my window faces onto!-
Lapis swallowed and sighed, tapping his flustered sister on the shoulder:
-Don't be afraid, you can count on me, is that clear? And just a tip, never go around unarmed. Too bad you don't have one of these.-
He gave her a sly grin, letting her admire the Colt M1911 he kept resting on the palms of his hands, not to tarnish the shiny metal.
-So is this yours? Where did you get that?- Lazuli asked softly.
-It was in the storage unit.-
Lately Lapis had gotten a taste for cracking lockers and safes, the box where Kate had stored the junk that had accumulated in the house over the years had been very easy: -I think it was our mother's. That's dope.-
Their mother? A gun?
Lazuli lowered her gaze: -Maybe it would be better to tell her. About the old man. Even if I don't feel like.-
He shrugged, glancing at her in all honesty: -Do as you wish, I won't betray you.-
From that time on, Lazuli followed her brother's advice and got herself a switchblade she always carried with always tried to be in someone's company and to show off a carefree attitude, even if her restlessness burrowed its way through her heart.
Lapis could already drive but was still taking his license; waiting for it, they had purchased a motorcycle.
-As soon as I turn eighteen I'll start to participate in some races. Rally, yeah, I can't wait!- he said with a genuine smile
.Lazuli snorted in annoyance: throwing money away and jeopardising oneself just to race with those stupid cars was something she couldn't understand.
Kate didn't know about the when she caught them coming home with it, never had the twins seen their mother so angry: the blue of her eyes glowed while she stood in the hallway with a grim look on her face.
-There's no point in getting mad, mum. We bought it with our money.-
-What money? The money you earn while you're in class, Lazuli?-
Kate was nobody's fool; no answer came from the twins.
The motorbike was very useful for getting away quickly; Lapis also used it to pick Carly up under the iron gaze of her father, and also to go out of town on his own to practice shooting in motion, while driving.
He had fallen down more than once, but thanks to his will he was now able to better hit the lights and mirrors of the police cars that sometimes chased them.
-You. Straight up to your room.-
Kate pushed Lapis up the stairs, speaking she was alone with Lazuli her mother looked daggers at her, so hard that the girl couldn't keep silent:
-You should be grateful not to know, mum, I'll never tell you. And don't even think of stressing my brother with your questions.-
However, there were times when Lazuli could not help but go home she entered the house eyes puffy with tears; as soon as she saw her, Kate got up and ran to hug her daughter.
In the arms of her mother Lazuli broke into a sad cry: -I can't take it anymore!-
Kate stroked her hair and let her vent her anxiety: -When you feel like talking about it, you'll know where to find me.-
The girl nodded and wiped her tears. If Lapis had seen her he would have gotten concerned.
-Thanks. You're so sweet.-
She hugged Kate hard, while her voice cracked again. She felt bad for her mother, they loved each other so well.
So why did she persist in keeping everything from her? She was clearly breaking her heart. Lazuli couldn't even talk to her about the old man now.
As usual, nothing escaped Lapis:
-Well, at least tell me what he looks like. Tall, short? Is he that old?-
Lazuli described a rather small, stooped bald man.
-And then? What does he usually wear?-
Lazuli slammed her fists on her thighs: -This is too much!-
Lapis curled his lip, patronising:
-You are too vague, you must remember as many details as possible. I can't afford killing the wrong guy.-
-Kill? Anyway, his beard and moustache are snow white, he's got a hooked nose and looks well into his seventies.-
The youngest twin gave a small gasp. Stunned and nervous, he started biting his thumb until he jumped up and snapped his fingers:
-Ah, I see now! I know who the motherfucker is.-
Lazuli looked at him quizzically.
-Yup!- he continued -I recall: the first time I saw him was at the car wash. I was there with Carly, she told me that she had spotted a guy with crazy eyes, she was afraid he would be a problem...does he look like a loony?-
Lazuli wrinkled her nose and opened her eyes wide as she nodded.
-It's him! That goddamn geezer, I'll kill him. He was standing next to the hoses; I got one to rinse the car and he kept telling me let me help you, that looks heavy.-
-Let me understand, first he begs me to help him to cross the street because, poor thing, he can't do it; then he goes to you, a healthy young person, and asks if he can help you carry a hose?-
Lapis sighed, hands on his hips: -Yes, apparently. I thought he was interested in Carly.-
As soon as he saw the geezer get close to her, Lapis had dropped the hose and rushed to the car. He had violently grabbed the old man and thrown him to the ground, then punched him straight in the face.
-Are you crazy? Stop it!- Carly had thrown herself out of the car to go hold him, all trembling -please!-
But Lapis would have kept hitting if two men at the car wash hadn't blocked him, preventing him from hitting again, letting the old man leave.
Now that he thought about it, Lapis realised that he had made his Carly cry.
The thought saddened him and he chased it away:
-... but now that I think about it, he was there other times, even last week! And I went to the car wash alone.-
The twins started musing over that increasingly worrying situation; ironically normal people usually turned to cops for these things.
The two of them had trouble with the police, Lapis had recently wounded an agent with a gunshot. The boy wondered if having to constantly watch his back was the price to pay for being a thug. What if they were responsible youngsters instead, as every sane person in their entourage expect from them?
-What will you do after school? Carly is thinking medical school, perhaps in West City.-Mr. Der Veer stared at him while the three of them were sitting at the table at her house.
Lapis didn't know.
Later, while the man was out in the garden, the youths had talked about it one more time.
-Medical school, then?-
-Yes, actually I'm aiming for paediatrics but that'll be for later, when I'll specialise.-
-West City, huh...I will be stuck here instead.-
Carly smiled at him, holding his hand and resting her head on his shoulder:
-But no, Lapis. You will only finish school a year after me and West City is not that far away.-Lapis surprised himself to realise once again how lucky he was to have such a sweet, smart and caring person by his side.
How great did she look, his Carly? Not as great as he did, he could give himself the answer: but her radiant smile and ginger hair were to die for.
She was a blooming, apple-cheeked young woman; he loved her freckles, delicate golden specks that lit up her button nose and eyelids. They looked good with her green eyes.
-In any case I am truly happy with your choice, you really have to do it. So you will take good care of our children.-
Carly had blushed at the thought. Lapis had looked at her, amused and innocent:
-What is it? What did I say?-
-The children...-
-I like kids, why is it so hard to believe? One day I will be a responsible adult- he had said boastfully, pointing to himself -and then we will have children. But not now. When we're old, like twenty-five.-
It was a serious matter for him and obviously he had already told Lazuli, who thought it was unusual that her twin brother could see so ahead from the current stage of their life; however she was sure that one day he would be a good father.
-I'd love to.-
-Seriously?- Lapis had given her one of his rare bright smiles.
Carly was still blushing, perfectly picturing herself a decade later, carrying around with pride and beauty a large bump, their baby tucked inside it:
-Yes, love. But then, on your path to being a responsible adult what are you planning to do after school? The same you do now?-
Carly wondered if it would really take all those years for Lapis to stop being a gangster. He had never told her about it, but Carly knew it all the same and was very afraid that his lifestyle would endanger him.
The thought had stuck in her head and bringing it up once again, she couldn't help crying.
-Come on, Carly? There we go...Come here.-
Lapis had embraced her with a sigh; he had made her cry, again.
He considered himself a selfish person because he just wanted to have fun and provoke, and so far he hadn't cared at all about what others thought. But he had become increasingly aware that among the others were three people that mattered to him more than himself: his mother, his sister, and Carly.
Two out of three wept regularly because of his wrongdoings.
Lapis loved Carly and felt at peace with her; he was glad to experience something different from what he felt for his sister and mother. His girlfriend gave him that stability that derived from not being in an inexplicably empathetic relationship as with Lazuli, in which every joy, every fear, every disappointment, every torment was shared.
But if he really wanted to be with her, sooner or later Lapis must have stopped. He wondered how Carly had endured this side of him for a year, and forced himself to take it as a motivation.
Why did he do this? He and Lazuli were two kids from "the good neighbourhoods", it was certainly not a matter of survival.
For Lazuli it was simple: money, money, money.
She wanted the money, she loved the money, even if mother had never lacked it, it was never enough.
And he? Did he want to prove anything? Was he bored?
There would have been so many things he could have done, but it was fun to stab people from rival gangs, to shoot, to show dominance.
He could easily spend the morning in class, the afternoon with sweet Carly and the evening leading the gang.
What to do after school, then?
At home the siblings were extremely secretive, even though they were very aware that they could not fool their mother.
Poor Kate!
The twins loved her wholeheartedly, but they just couldn't be quiet and peaceful.
-Anyway, I'll kill him. As soon as he tries to touch you he's dead- said Lapis with a blank stare.
-No! I don't want you to end up in juvie- she said, removing a piece of hair from his eyes.
He put it back, and took his twin sister's hands:
-Lazuli, we are criminals: sooner or later we will go to juvie anyway, so it's worth it.-
-Are you willing to get locked up for me?- she chuckled -what is it, did you finally get tired of screwing little miss perfect?-
Gobsmacked, Lapis pushed his sister and made her fall to the ground.
-Don't you dare. Talk about me and Carly like this one more time and see what you'll get.-
She screamed, got up and pushed him back, wishing to be angry at him:
-If we have to lose everything, I don't want you to be the one to pay the price. We'll take him down together and then we'll get locked up, together. I can't stand the idea of living without you.-
Lazuli pronounced those words ignoring the fact that males and females were separated in prison.
Lapis was still an immature child, but Lazuli was well aware of how bad not to see him anymore would hurt her. She saw herself as the sun and he was her moon: many boys had been jealous of the attention she gave him, subtracting it from them.
But she didn't care: the world is full of guys, I only have one twin brother, she said to herself.
Lazuli was bound to him from the first spark of life; they had spent nine months together in the womb, had had the same diseases, had shared even the most hidden secrets.
It would have been cruel and unfair to let him face a fate as grim as juvie, alone.
They had to support each other for better or for worse.
/
Kate was consumed by the constant search for something missing or went wrong in her job as a were flaws, it was crystal clear, and yet it always seemed to her to be giving her all for them.
Never had she dismissed their problems or underestimated their needs, she had done everything to settle on their wavelength and to be a good listener.
They were reluctant, even though Kate sensed their unconditional love for her.
She had vowed to protect her children since they were still inside her, to be a good mother.
The once turbulent and happy children were now young adults: Lapis and Lazuli had turned eighteen and the seriousness of their actions could have weighed much more from that moment on.
Their mother couldn't really take action: although they skipped school often, they stayed afloat.
They had never lost a year nor had the principal ever called Kate, because their behaviour was tolerable within those walls.
It felt like they behaved well in school in order to get out of there as quickly as possible, to devote themselves full time to what really mattered to them: things that Kate knew little and nothing about, which only increased her sense of helplessness.
Their childhood was long gone, but only when Kate observed their body did she realise how grown up they were.
Lazuli had become a beauty, just like her mother: tall and slender, with a chiselled face.
Kate in blonde, they said.
She was now a woman; she had always felt more mature and older, but she was no longer in a hurry to grow and had acknowledged that Lapis was almost even with her.
Lapis had also lost many boyish traits. He still looked a lot like his sister and especially like Kate, with his dark hair that now came down to his collar; his voice was lower, his chest and shoulders had grown wider and his hips narrower.
He was almost more handsome than Lazuli, mother thought.
And then he was less impulsive than he used to be.
If he and his sister had argued sometimes, now they did less than ever. They nearly agreed on everything and were very accommodating towards each other.
So what was the problem?
Nothing, apart from Lapis being a regular guest in more than one barrack in the Central City area, lately. He had spent a few nights in prison and his sister was no less of a trouble.
Despite everything, however, Kate saw that they were relatively serene: there had been a time, two years earlier, when she had seemed scared and worried and many times had cried, while he had been nervous and violent.
As usual they hadn't wanted to tell her much.
Kate's car keys jangled in her hand:-Lazuli, ready?-
-Just a minute, mum.-
Kate waited for ten minutes: -Did you have breakfast?-
-I don't feel like.-
That was another reason for arguing, Lazuli who didn't want to eat.
-Do you want to miss the start?-
The girl peeked through her bedroom door, giving Kate a big smile: no, of course not!
Lazuli stood in front of the mirror and hurriedly brushed her hair. There was no need for Kate to rush her! That was a I don't know what to wear day and it had taken her some time to choose the best outfit.
Even if she only had to go see Lapis racing with his rally car, she always wanted to look smashing.
She caught up with Kate in the car: -Do you remember, how he couldn't stop bugging everyone with races? Now he's happy at least.-
-Don't you want to drive?-
If her daughter had been like her brother, she would have already forced Kate to give up her seat.
-Cars are nonsense, I'll learn sooner or later.-
Kate shrugged:-Oh well, as long as you enjoy always being dependent on others...-
That race had to be really something: it was full of people, cars and pilots, umbrella girls and music.
-Are you excited?-
-Who, me?-
Lapis flaunted a bold smile to Carly, who in turn smiled at him wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest.
That was her Lapis: a total braggart, but she could feel his racing heartbeat.
He squeezed her tightly, lifting her, then opened the door and got into his car:
-This one is for you.-
-Really? Thank you! Are you sure you don't want to dedicate it to Lazuli?-
-Well, let me think...-
Carly lowered the umbrella with a frown. Lapis watched her and then threw his hair back in a hearty laugh:
-Gotcha! Just kidding.-
Then he got out of the car to hug Carly one more time, gently nibbling her cheek before settling behind the wheel and giving a wink to her, closing the door.
Lapis started the engine to warm it up: he could not get tired of thrilling rally, of the drifts on winding roads and the jumps on rough ones.
He had waited for so long! Not just until his recent eighteenth birthday, he had always been fond of vehicles.
Three years earlier Kate had finally agreed on him getting a car, and that was how he had met Carly.
Lapis thought about the discussion he had had with her and her father two years earlier: now he knew more clearly that being a rally driver could have been a good choice for him.
Right now, sometimes he came home with a few bruises and even if he didn't win every time it didn't matter: every race was a lesson.
And a nice game.
-Didn't your boyfriend come?-
Kate and Lazuli, sitting in the grandstand, waited for the race to start. The girl looked absently at the cars preparing to race and at the umbrella girls going here and there.
-Boyfriend. Sure, mum, sure.-
Lazuli felt sorry for her mother, who did not know: that one was only a boy she had stolen from Sara for the sole purpose of having sex a couple of times, maybe three.
Sara had wronged her and she had made her pay: every time she had been with that guy Lazuli had pictured Sara crying with rage, her fake nails tangled in her fake blonde hair.
Now she almost regretted her actions, because Sara had cut all the ties with her, she didn't even want to see her.
-Which boyfriend? We broke up.-
She hadn't even mentioned it to Lapis, knowing that he would judge her. Lazuli was almost sure that if her male twin had been in her place, nobody would have said anything; because it's obvious that if a woman sleeps with a lot of different guys, then she is not respectable; however if a man does exactly the same, then he is a casanova.
Hadn't she been female, Lazuli would have lived more freely as a casanova, without feeling the need to hide.
She was so far ahead of her brother, at thirteen she was already alert and at fourteen she had done it for the first time; instead she could count on one hand all the people Lapis had had sex with, before coming across that Carly girl.
Lazuli still didn't like her and was surprised that Lapis had not yet grown tired; he thought he liked stronger women, not pallid damsels in distress.
-Aren't you jealous, by any chance?- he had asked with a laugh.
For Lazuli Carly only liked him because of his looks, like the rest of those bitches, thinking of him as a prince charming or another fantastic creature.
How childish, princes charming didn't exist.
And the two of them were too different, a role model/gigantic nerd and the armed leader of a gang.
Lazuli wondered how much longer he would have to endure Carly, but given their differences and also the fact that they were still in high school, she felt tranquil.
That little pin-up, soft and big-titted was objectively pleasant, that she owed her.
Lazuli envied her brother for having someone who loved him as he was, childish and with crooked teeth, while she was always forced to reject advances or to settle for something that didn't satisfy her, so that she always gave up.
-Ah ...- Kate commented -what was wrong with that one?-
Lazuli didn't know what to say: they broke up, that was it!
-His ears. They were too big.-
Sometimes she got angry about it. Why things went so well only for Lapis, what was wrong with her?
Her brother understood it and tried not to hurt her.
-Look at Lapis- Kate distracted her from her thoughts.
Lazuli had already seen him: he was leaning on the hood of his car which he had brought to the start line, chatting with another pilot; his black hair and orange t-shirt were easy to spot from afar.
-Come on, bro, do your best. I'm here watching you.-
Lazuli smiled, convinced that her positive energy would surely be transmitted to her brother, supporting him.
-Mum, how older am I in the end?- she asked quickly.
-About an hour.-
She was the older twin and always saw Lapis as her younger, immature brother.
However, she had noticed how he had grown, especially in recent times.
Surely he must have noticed that she too had changed. Lazuli was glad that Lapis didn't mind that she was almost as tall as he, without heels; some guys didn't like this about her.
Kate knew that the twins had noticed each other's physical changes because they had discussed them with her, separately.
-... and it feels like yesterday, when I held them in my arms.-
Kate smiled and glanced at her young woman, sitting next to her, and at her young man, who in the meantime had gotten into the car and was waiting for the race to start.
With a gunshot, the cars started biting the road fiercely.
Lapis was doing well: -I don't have to go too fast right away, otherwise I risk lagging behind later.-
He focused on the wheel and on the road, aggressively bumping other cars.
The adrenaline rushed through his body, he loved too much to impose himself on others and show off.
That time was different, he wanted to win: he was strong, he was the strongest and the others had to make up for it.
He knew all too well that he should not get caught up in his hubris, otherwise he would have gone back to square one, like in his debut race, when he had crossed the finish line first at the expense of some other driver and had been disqualified.
Nice start!
That time he had gotten so mad that, if it hadn't been for the audience, he would have surely dragged the judge to a corner and persuaded him in some very effective fashion.
-Poor me!- Kate always said to him -you alone were not enough to mess around. Now it's you with your car.-
-Mum, what does that mean?- Lazuli intervened -your cuisine is outlandish but we don't even complain, do we? Nor do we tell you that you don't have to do it anymore!-
Classic Lazuli, winking victoriously to her brother and smiling coyly at her.
-How stupid I was... things have to be done discreetly- Lapis thought, abruptly steering and bumping into another car.
-Sorry!- he shouted, chuckling.
-Come on love, do it for me ...-
Lazuli stared blankly at the nerd, who was now sitting there with them and fidgeted watching the cars race and leave behind a dusty track.
-What did my brother say to you before he left?- the blonde asked eloquently.
Carly still felt belittled by Lazuli's presence despite being a year older than the twins:
-Nothing. He wants to win this one for me.-
Lazuli forced herself to smile and brought her thoughts elsewhere.
Time had passed, but she never felt fully serene; she tried not to think about it, but then how could she forget the eerie old man who had stalked them both up to two years ago?
-I'm psychotic. Seriously- she thought every evening, when before closing the shutters she looked down on the street, seeking the glistening of a white beard, the shape of a figure hidden among the crannies of the street.
And she felt really stupid, because every time after the inspection she threw herself on the bed and heaved a sigh of relief.
By now she could no longer help looking hard and be vigilant every time she left the house, feeling a knot in her stomach upon seeing elderly men who always revealed themselves to be showed off a tough face while her legs were shaking.
Lapis, lucky him, seemed to have overcome it. No wonder, he was not a girl! Women were almost always the ones to be raped in the streets.
But he hadn't forgotten the promise he had made to her, Kate's gun always in his hand.
As Lapis's red car crossed the finish line, she was still immersed in her own thoughts and when Kate, Carly and other spectators exulted Lazuli came back down to earth; did she miss anything?
She ran up to Carly: -Did he win? Did he do it?-
The slutty fairy kept on jumping enthusiastically: -It's unclear: it was he and another, side by side one hundred metres from the finish line. They kept bumping into each other but nobody got knocked out and they crossed the finish line together. Now the judges have to watch the footage to decide.-
Lazuli smiled and approached her mother: -Shall we go?-
The three women got off the grandstand and joined the pilots in the dust of the finish line.
Lapis had already gotten out of the car, and seeing his girls he ran towards them. He was breathing frantically, with a frown on his face.
Heedless of the great cloud of dirt Carly walked briskly towards Lapis, then hugged and kissed him decisively, almost aggressively, while he held her up.
Lazuli watched with a little melancholy.
Then she tried to distract herself and noticed how thrashed her brother was: the sweaty t-shirt clung to his back and to the sinewy muscles of his stomach, a light layer of dust covered his hair, making it dull.
When the others noticed it, all three burst into laughter
.-Well?- he asked restlessly.
-Did you sweep the track? You look like a duster.-
As Lazuli ruffled Lapis's hair, he gave her the death stare. Putting herself in his shoes, Lazuli understood very well how tense he could feel.
-Silence, please. We have a winner!-the judge announced -Michael, car 99 and Lapis, car 32, are our contenders: according to the frames, by a split second...-
-Say it. Be quick.- said Lapis internally.
-...the first place goes to car number 99. Michael!-
Micheal's friends came up to him, the judge shook his hand and offered him the first prize, then did the same when offering the second prize to the young Lapis, tapping his hand hard on the shoulder.
-Good job, boys, what a race. You were great, you looked like one of those action movie! Keep racing.-
The judge spoke softly, so that only the two of them could hear him.
Lapis saluted his competitor and went home with his family. He had finally relaxed and smiled while his mother, sister and sweetheart held him in a collective hug:
-My baby boy- Kate gave him a loud kiss that made his cheeks turn red.
-Are you satisfied?- Lazuli asked gently.
He nodded discreetly, but she knew he had had a good time.
That the race had met his expectations.
That everyone had noticed him.
That he had found a worthy opponent.
That she, Kate and Carly were there to cheer him on with their banner, their hair blowing in the wind and their bright smiles, and he had counted on it.
-That this is a moment of perfect happiness without intruders or unpleasant details- added Lazuli personally, genuinely believing that nothing could have ruined the magic of that moment.