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Bella woke in the early afternoon to the sound of the front door. Her head was throbbing, and she felt horrible. She couldn't let Charlie know she was hung over, so she quickly collected some books and sat up as though she had been reading. A few minutes later, Charlie popped his head in and said a quick hello before taking a shower. He didn't suspect anything, so she went about tidying her room and stopped when she looked at her phone. She had 3 missed calls from Jacob and a text asking her to call him. She still wasn't sure how she felt about what happened, so she tossed her phone on her bed and sighed at the ceiling. 'Why couldn't things be simple? Why did she have to basically throw herself at the only person she had in the world who made her feel whole?' She wondered as she picked up her phone and opened Jake's text.
She hit reply and hesitated before typing out a message.
hey Jake, sorry I left early, I wasn't feeling great. Just woke up
She watched the screen for his reply and jumped when her phone buzzed.
want me to come around? he asked.
no, it's OK, I think I'll just make Charlie some dinner and stay home she replied.
She wanted to avoid seeing Jake for now, hoping that they wouldn't have to have an awkward conversation about their relationship, or lack thereof. The fact was, she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Not with Jake, not with anyone. What happened that night, despite actually being quite incredible, physically, was a huge mistake that Bella was now completely regretting.
is everything ok? he asked in another text.
No. Everything wasn't OK. How could she tell him that she regretted sleeping with him? How could she let him know that, even though, from what she could recall, she had enjoyed herself, she knew it was a big mistake?
yeah everything is fine
I think we need to talk about what happened
we were both pretty wasted. Nothing needs to change, right? We're still friends?
Jake's reply took a while to come. She wondered what he was thinking.
Sure
I care about you, you're my best friend
I care about you too Bella, I thought that was clear
I know, I just think maybe last night meant more to you than it did for me
You regret last night?
I don't know. I think it was a stupid drunken decision that we made in the heat of the moment
OK
don't hate me
it's fine bells. Friends. See you tomorrow. Beach?
So we're ok? Can we just pretend like it never happened?
If that's what you want then that's what we'll do
See you tomorrow then
She was relieved to have him want to still see her after that really difficult conversation. She hoped they could go back to how they used to be, although, only time would tell. She put her phone down and went about getting the house tidied. By the time she had cleaned up and cooking dinner, it was nighttime. She ate with Charlie and they watched a movie together before she went to bed. It took no time for her to fall asleep and once she did, she slept through till morning.
Sunday arrived bright and early and Bella got up, had breakfast and dressed to meet Jake at the beach. The whole way there she worried about seeing him and having things be different between them. Selfishly, she needed Jake to keep the cold away and to stop her mind from continually delving deep into the realms of missing the Cullen's.
When she pulled up at the beach at 11am, Jake and his friends were already there. They had set up what looked to be a day of fun in the sun with ball games and beach umbrellas and things.
Bella grabbed a book from the seat beside her and put it in her bag, knowing that there was no way she was going to involve herself in any kind of physical activity. Reading was the most intense sport she was willing or able to partake in.
Jake came strolling over to her truck as she got out and greeted her with his 'Jake' smile.
"Hey Bells" he said.
"Hey Jake" she replied awkwardly.
"Here" he said, holding his hand out for her bag.
"I can carry it myself" she said, just before she stumbled on a rock.
"Sure you can" he said, taking the bag from her and leading her towards the beach where blankets had been set up.
"Jake, I just want to make sure we're OK" she said, before they were in earshot of anyone else.
"Of course we're OK. You said you didn't want anything to change, so nothing is changing" he said.
"I respect what you want here Bella" he added.
She looked to him and smiled a smile that genuinely felt real. When he smiled back, she couldn't help but put her arms around him, grateful for his understanding. Jake put one warm arm around her, and she felt safe. If she wasn't so broken, so messed up, Jake would have been someone she could be with, quite easily. She cursed Edward for ruining her and then cursed herself for letting herself think his name, ruining the moment. They let go and walked to where a blanket had been laid out, held down by a drink cooler.
"That's my cooler so you can take whatever you want from it" he said.
"Oh, it's OK, I'm on the hard stuff today" she said, pulling a bottle of water out of her bag.
"Me too" he said, opening the cooler and revealing a dozen cans of soft drink. She fell into easy conversation with most of the people there who she knew from the party. No one asked about her and Jake, which she was thankful for. Hopefully he hadn't told anyone. When the beach games began, she took put her book.
"Not playing?" asked Lexi, who was standing with the boys who were deciding on teams. She was wearing a black bikini top which revealed more of her ample cleavage than Bella thought was appropriate and accompanied it with the smallest wrap skirt Bella had seen.
"no, me and physical activities do not go together well" she said.
"that's fine, we'll have the boys to ourselves" she said, gesturing to the 3 girls who were getting ready to play.
Bella read a page of her book before looking up to see what was going on. A few of the boys had taken their shirts off to soak up the sun and when Bella's eyes fell on Jake, she couldn't help but stare. He seemed to be glowing, his brown skin shining in the sun with the spray of salt and a sheen of sweat. He had certainly bulked up a lot in recent months but looking at him now, he was certainly no teenage boy. He was a man, and quite a man he was. His arms were bulky but not huge, his pecks were well defined and his 6 pack was verging on an 8 pack. He had a defined V that disappeared beneath the navy-blue board shorts he was wearing, and Bella couldn't help but remember how that body of his felt when it was pressed against hers.
She glanced around at the other guys on the beach and didn't notice them to look anything close to how Jake looked. They had muscles, certainly, but none of them came close to the well-toned body of Jake. She pressed her thighs together and tried to banish the thoughts that were creeping into her mind. Jake was a damn good sight to behold. But she didn't want him in that way. Couldn't have him. She wasn't right for him and he was too good for someone as broken as she was. Just the fact that she was staring at him now was enough to remind her of how insane she must be.
When the activities finished and the group returned to the blankets to rest, Jake laid beside Bella and got a can a drink from the cooler.
"Having fun?" he asked.
"Yeah this is great" she said.
"I saw you" he said quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"I saw you staring at me" he said with a smile.
"Jake, I was not staring at you. I was watching the game" she said in a feeble attempt at denial.
"It's OK, I don't mind" he said, tossing his long hair over his shoulder.
"Fine. I admit it. You look good. But it wasn't just me. Lexi has a thing for you" she said, feeling almost sick as she said it.
"I wouldn't go near her. Not in a million years" he said.
"She seems lovely" Bella said with a laugh, as Lexi was openly flirting with Embry over on another blanket.
"I think they're planning some more spin the bottle" Jake said.
"oh yippee" she replied.
"Do you wanna go?" he asked.
"Are you kicking me out?" she asked.
"No. I just don't wanna be stuck kissing Lexi or one of her desperate friends" he said. "Plus, I don't really want to have to watch you kiss Quil or Embry" he added.
"No, I completely agree" Bella said, placing her book into her bag. She would not be able to kiss one of those boys. It just wouldn't feel right. "Actually, I was hoping you'd take a look at my truck, I think it needs something" she said.
"Something?" he asked, helping her up.
"Well, yeah, it's making a noise" she said, shrugging her shoulders.
They made their way back to Jake's house with Jake driving, and fell into easy conversation. Their friendship would be OK, it seemed.
At Jake's house, he looked into the engine bay and, after admonishing Bella for not checking her oil levels topped up all the fluids and checked her brakes. Everything was mostly fine.
"You know, this thing could use a turbo charger or something" Jake said.
"No way, it goes fast enough" she said, as Jake looked deep in thought.
"The trip that takes you thirty minutes, could take you fifteen" he suggested.
"No way, I love my truck how it is"
"Ok ok I'll leave it" he said holding his hands up in surrender.
"I should go, it's getting late" she said, looking around the darkening yard as the sun set through the trees.
"Ok. So, I'll see you through the week then?" he asked.
"School…" she sighed, as she remembered it was coming to the end of the short school break that they were on.
"Yeah, that thing" he said.
"Well, I have work in the afternoons, but I guess… I'll see you Friday?" she asked.
"Sounds good to me" he said, grinning that grin of his.
She hopped into her truck and drove home, an uneventful trip.
Her house as dark and Charlie had left a note on the table letting her know he'd be late. She made an easy meal for herself and left some for Charlie, before showering and heading for bed.
The week was slow and filled with more assignments than she thought she could handle, and Mike was now far more flirtatious than before. Her friends questioned her about the positive changes they were seeing in her and she shrugged it off to a good break.
She did feel different. The pain that Edward had left behind was still there, but far less intrusive. She almost felt like she had taken a strong narcotic. It felt quite freeing. However, late at night, when she laid in her bed, she still felt the emptiness that Edwards memory left behind. She was still broken.
By Friday, Bella breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that she'd see Jake again. She hired some new release movies from the video shop and bought some popcorn. It wasn't something they usually did, but now that they were back at school, they couldn't just hand out in Jake's garage anymore. They had to be creative with their time.
At 5pm, Jake arrived at Bella's house with a bag of chips and some dip. Bella greeted him with a friendly hug before he walked in the door.
"So, movies then?" he asked.
"I thought a change from mechanical engineering was in order" she said.
"Sounds good" he said. "Where's Charlie?" he asked.
"Charlie's been doing night shifts all week. There's some bears or something attacking people and he has all this paperwork to do" she said.
"Bears?" Jake asked, following her to the kitchen.
"No idea. Animal migration or something like that" she said, bringing a tray of snacks to the loving room.
Jake sat on the couch, stretching his legs out in front of him and relaxing his arms behind his head. Bella couldn't help but stare at the flesh that was exposed as his shirt rode up. His trail of hair disappeared beneath his cut offs and her whole body shivered at the memory of her hand brushing through it.
She quickly grabbed a blanket and threw it over him, both an attempt to hide him from her own view and a playful friendly act. He unfolded it and spread it out, holding one side open for her to sit beside him after she finished setting up the movie.
She looked from the single seat lounge chair to the couch where he sat and thought about the implications of choosing either one. If she sat alone on the single seat, he might think she was purposely avoiding sitting beside him. If she sat beside him, under the blanket, the potential for his close proximity to conjure up certain ideas, was high.
In the end, she sat beside him, leaving a little space, knowing that the idea of him thinking less of her was way worse than her getting certain ideas into her head.
The movie was semi interesting and at least Jake seemed to be enjoying it. There were a few jump scares that made Bella grab a blanket and pull it up to her face. Perhaps an action movie was not a good idea when she had experienced trauma herself?
Jake chuckled at her fear and she couldn't hold that against him. He had no idea about the things she had experienced at the hands of James. When another loud noise caught her off guard, Jake put his arm around her and puller her to his side. She felt safe with him, not that anything could hurt her but curled up beside him, the thoughts of James and the parts of the movie didn't seem so bad.
She leant in and snuggled up to his warmth knowing that this was a bad idea. Her mind hadn't conjured up and ideas, but she guessed she was probably sending him all the wrong signals. She was certain though, that as long as she was clear, and she had been, any wrong ideas were simply Jake's misinterpretation.
As the movie continued, she felt Jake's fingers trace patterns on her exposed shoulder. His touch was warm and when he paused, she found herself wanting more. His fingers traced patterns up her neck and she found herself moving her head to the side to allow him better access. She knew this could only end badly but Jake seemed to have a way of making her whole body come alive when she mostly just felt hollow.
She moved a hand to his chest, under his shirt and allowed herself to explore, sober, the ridges of his smooth muscles, which, until not, she had only done while drunk. His body was so defined but smooth and soft at the same time. His muscles formed ridges and valleys all over his torso and she found herself paying less and less attention to the movie and more to this body beside her. Jake's fingers were still making patterns across her skin, sending waves of heat coursing through her body.
She felt the familiar emptiness deep inside her and the heat between her thighs built. She knew how wrong it was to want Jake in this way but to want him just as a friend at the same time. Friends could feel this way, surely.
Resting against his body, she could hear the way his heartbeat had sped up and as she continued caressing his body, she felt his breathing quicken. He was feeling it too. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him right now, her body was driving her desire for him to touch her, to make her feel good but her mind was screaming at her to stop. Move away. Don't give him any further reason to think that she was ready for something more than friends.
What she wanted... no... what she needed from him was purely physical.
"Jake..." she began, turning to look at him. Through her lashes.
"I know, friends" he said, taking his hand off her skin, leaving her desperate for more.
"Friends" she said, still looking at him.
He looked at her with puzzled eyes as she sat up a bit taller. Her eyes lingered on Jake's face, searching his eyes for something that would make her immediately put a halt to what she knew was about to happen. There was nothing there but fire, the same fire that was burning in her.
She allowed her eyes to move to his lips, the lips that she remembered kissing both softly and passionately. With nothing stopping her but the subconscious voice that was now being shushed by her inner vixen, she leant forward and kissed him. His hesitance lasted all of two seconds before he began kissing her back just as passionately.
Her hands were on him and she was desperate for him to touch her. Her face, her neck, her body. She craved him in a way that she hadn't ever craved a person before. This physical desire was unlike anything she knew or had experienced, but so many parts of her wanted her to keep going. To push for more, to have him touch her, kiss her and hold her as much as possible.
She allowed her instincts to take over and was soon straddling him on the couch in her living room, kissing him, gripping his hair and pulling at his shirt. Jacob was allowing her to take the lead and she was just grateful that he wasn't pushing her away. She had, after all, declared their relationship 'friends' and nothing more. She paid no mind to that in this moment. Right now, her body was screaming at her to remove both their clothes and impale her most sensitive self with his.
She moved her body so that she was pressing her centre on his throbbing erection. The slight growl that emanated from Jake's throat was enough for her to slide back, stand up and remove her pants. Jake's questioning look was quashed when she climbed back onto his lap and hastily clawed at his pants, allowing his erection to be free from its confines.
Jake grabbed her shirt, taking it off and tossing it on the floor, while she unclasped her bra. She hadn't been this naked last time, but there was something exhilarating about his large warm hands on her bare ivory flesh.
She lifted herself up and inched closer to his body, taking him in one hand while the other held the back of the couch. She kissed Jake as she lowered herself onto him and gripped the couch as she eased him inside of her, slowly, painfully, but gloriously.
She brought their bodies flush with each other and opened her eyes to look into Jake's. The fire that burnt in them previously was like lava, bubbling and burning for her, and only for her. The pain of her second sexual encounter was starting to dissipate as she raised herself up just a little and moved her body. The feeling of his warm flesh pulsating inside of her core was like nothing she could describe. She almost forgot to move as she savoured the complete sense of fullness that Jacob Black gave her.
His hands were all over her, holding her from behind, guiding her now as she began to move. She had no idea what to do but was driven by a sense of instinct to just move against, and with him. The pain now gone, she picked up speed, allowing him thrust upwards as she came down.
It wasn't long before Jake took her in his hands, picked her up and laid her on her back on the couch. He kissed every part of her that was within reach of his mouth and eased himself back inside of her slowly. Bella wanted nothing of it, she needed fast, not slow. Her body screamed for it. Begged for it.
"Harder Jake" she whimpered through ragged breath and Jacob complied, slamming his body against hers, causing her to cry out in pleasure.
She needed this almost as much as she needed oxygen. He slammed against her some more before holding her tight in his grip and sliding flush against her, grinding his hips against hers. Within moments she felt the build-up of pleasure, like an elastic that was being pulled, or a mountain that was desperate to be climbed. She rose further and further up the mountain, pulled the elastic more and more, digging her nails into Jake's back, pulling him closer, deeper, with the heels of her feet against his backside.
He continued, thrust after thrust and she climber higher and higher as she reached the peak. With a sound from her mouth that was unlike anything she had made before, the elastic snapped, the peak of the mountain was reached and she came with such ferociousness that all sense of where she was completely left her. She was vaguely aware of Jake's jerky last thrusts as he came with her, and together they collapsed on the couch while the credits of the movie were ending.
She opened her eyes and looked to the face of her best friend, the one who had saved her from her heartache. The one who had been nothing but kind and loving to her and here she was, completely using him.
"Jake, I..." she began, but there were no words for her to describe how felt like she needed him to make her feel exactly the way she was right now.
"it's OK" he said, getting up and putting his pants on. She wrapped herself in the blanket that she had hidden herself under throughout the scary parts of the movie and sat herself up.
"No, I don't think it is OK. I shouldn't be doing this to you, it's not fair" she said.
"From where I'm standing Bells, that, what we did just then, was completely fair" he said with a smile.
"But you know how I feel" she said.
"Friends...? Yeah, I know that" he said, pulling his shirt on.
"Are you leaving?" she asked.
"Yeah, billy's gonna go mental" he said, not addressing the absolute elephant in the room.
"So ... we're OK?" she asked.
"Yes, we're great. You're great" he said.
"You're not so bad yourself" she said with a shy smile. She felt so awkward when just minutes ago she was begging to do her harder and screaming out in bliss.
"Friends?" he asked.
"Friends" she agreed.
"With benefits" he added.
"We'll see" she said, as he made his way to the door.