Eddard

When he opened his eyes, all he could see was a rich auburn. Ned smiled, blowing the hair covering his sight and then looked at his wife who was asleep on his chest. Ned rolled her over and gave her a kiss as she opened her eyes a smile slowly taking over most of her face. Ned smiled back and got out of bed to get ready for the long day ahead. Ned was just tying the last string of his jerkin when his wife came and wrapped her hands around his waist, playing with the laces to his jerkin. It had to wait. "Cat, we need to talk."

"I know you are leaving for the Manderly wedding," Cat said with a doleful tone. Ned spun around and looked at her with suspicious humor. "My brother wrote me saying he was going to attend since the Hand was going." Ned nodded and was about to continue but Cat put her hand up. "There must always be a Stark in Winterfell, I'll stay here with the children, while you go with Robb." Ned gave a small smile then returned to his stony demeanor.

"No, I'll be taking Sansa, Arya, and Bran as well." Catelyn's understanding smile into a scornful frown.

" Sansa I understand, but why the younger two? Why do they need to go?" Catelyn responded to her tone now cold.

"They need to see the North, they need to meet the other Northern highborn children their age. Sansa will love to see the knights and pageantry. Bran will enjoy the jousting and gods save us Arya will love the melee more than Robb will." His attempt at humor seemed to crack the stone facade and the corner of Catelyn's mouth twitched. Ned took it as a sign to continue "The north doesn't have many tournaments and rarely does it get visitors from outside the north. If it must occur let at least use it to bring joy to the children." Catelyn let out a sigh and walked over to her plush chair and seemed to be enveloped by it.

"What will it be for two months? Maybe three without most of my children?"

Ned tried to give her a sympathetic look, "Six weeks. At most eight. But most likely six. I promise, no traveling for a year afterward." She gave him a playful glare. "Well I won't plan on any more travel for a year"

Catelyn didn't speak for a moment, taking it to think, she let out a breath. "Fine, just think of ways to make it up to me for taking my children."

"It will be good for them."

"I know." Catelyn was then quiet for half a minute, she started to aggressively brush her hair and Ned know what that meant. "Take the boy with you."

"I usually would-"

"You will take him Eddard." He bristled at the use of his name. "I tolerate his presence because I now know there is no getting rid of him, but I will not have him here when the rest of the children are not. I won't put any ideas in his head." Ned was taken aback by this remark. Ideas? Ned didn't want to dwell on it.

Ned relented. "Very well, Jon will join us." She nodded.

Catelyn stood and started to change. "Who knows, maybe there is a knight that needs a squire?"

"Cat," Ned said with warning.

"He is a young boy, have him go regain some honor and become a knight and travel the seven kingdoms." Cat's tone turned wistful for a moment. Before Ned could respond she rose and continued, "Let's go inform the children."

They made their way to the great hall and sat at the high table with their children and Theon. Jon was absent. "Have you seen Jon?" Ned was given shrugs in response, just Arya spoke up looking dejected. "He doesn't eat with us anymore." Ned found that odd, remembering Luwin's words from last night. Before he could continue his inquiry. Cat spoke up.

"Your father has an announcement." Ned looked at her then each of them.

"Yes, maybe you knew, maybe not, but Wendel Manderly, the second son of Wyman Manderly is getting married to Lord Grafton's fourth daughter…" Ned struggled to remember the name. "Mary, Merrell?"

"Mereth." Piped in Cat.

His children were chuckling at his lapse. Ned cleared his throat. "Mereth. Many houses of the North will be represented as well as Houses of the Vale, Crownlands, some Riverlands, as will the Hand of the King will be attending. Even heard some Essosi merchants may come. There will be quite a large tournament being held and you will all be attending along with me." All his children looked shocked and then elated almost an instant later. Robb turned to Theon immediately and started discussing archery and melee. Ned was glad to see the argument on the road seemed to be behind them. Sansa was beaming, knowing to show too much excitement would not be proper for a lady. Bran was jabbering about jousting and knights asking his mother if anyone famous would be there. Arya, who was joyous then looked a little dour. "Arya, what is wrong? If you don't want to go you don't have to." She shot him a look of worry and then looked down.

"Is Jon going? If he isn't going I don't want to go either, he promised it would be different when you got back." Arya muttered.

"No Jon is coming with us." After he spoke did he hear the last thing she said but Arya was already beaming. She turned to Bran to jump in on his conversation. Ned was puzzled, this was the third mention of Jon in the day since he got back.

Ned finished his meal, and left to the solar to write a few letters but struggled to concentrate on his task. He left his solar to walk around to calm his mind. While he walked he saw Arya and Sansa having lessons with Maester Luwin, he greeted his wife and his youngest son with a quick peck on their foreheads. Soon the clashing of metal drew him towards the training yard. Before the yard was in view he heard Ser Rodrick's words carrying through the ancient fortress.

"Jon, watch your footwork!"

Then the sound of clashing and a grunt.

"Jon the arc in the swing is wide and even Bran here could see where you were trying to hit."

A couple sounds of metal on metal and grunt again. Ned turned the corner seeing Jon disarmed. Robb and Theon looked a little smug, and Jon with his head down and Rodrik's face was red. "What in hells is the matter with you Jon, two days ago you were holding your own against Derrock and now even Rickon could defeat you with one hand behind his back." Theon laughed out loud while Robb smirked. Ned assumed that Rodrik was just trying to help Jon's nonexistent confidence. Derrock was a veteran of the siege of Pyke, ahead and a half taller than Jon and fifteen years older. Though when Jon stood back up, Ned noticed he may have been taller than Robb now.

"Its been almost a month Rodrik, Jon hasn't seen how much I've improved," Robb said.

"Not by much young lord." Rodrik retorted. "Jon, your session is over, your head doesn't seem in it and Robb, you are slow and predictable. You only used your strength against Jon, with sloppy footwork and repetitive strikes. You need to become a well-rounded fighter unless you plan to be the size of Hodor when you're older."

"Hodor?" Hodor said near the stables. Robb looked abashed and Jon just stalked off the yard and into the great keep. Ned felt bad for Jon, he and Robb were good swordsman for their age even though Robb seemed to be a little bit better than Jon, today, however, Bran very well may have held his own. Something must have happened, and Ned started to worry that something was wrong. When Ned reached his solar he asked Jory to get Maester Luwin and Ser Rodrik and bring them to him. They arrived soon after and Ned motioned them in inviting them to sit.

"My Lord." The gruff old knight greeted him.

"Lord Stark." The calm, assuring maester did the same.

"Maester Luwin, you said you wanted to talk about Jon, I have a sense from what I've heard from a few others something happened while I was away. Ser Rodrik would I assume that is correct?"

"Yes my lord." The stern old knight said.

"Maester Luwin, you first."

The small graying man took a deep breath and began speaking. "It was a couple days after you left. I was giving Jon his normal lessons, most times he understands the lessons well enough but he rarely engages. However, while you were gone he asked so many questions, and complicated ones at that! He followed me around for an hour or so after the lessons were supposed to end. Every day afterward he would talk and he would ask many things, trying to convince me of his opinions and asking me to do other things."

"What kind of things?" Ned said.

"He wanted me to test him on houses, heirs, and histories, he wants me to pretend to be a house and propose a trade and we would haggle and argue." Luwin smiled. "He even tried to come up with a trade agreement and taxes to help with House Mormont. Many were impractical and simplistic but they were... different." The old maester's smile faded as he continued, "However, today he was disengaged. Even when I prodded him about the final terms of the agreement with House Mormont he showed no interest," The maester finished with a shrug.

Ned felt his chest tighten while the tale he told. Ned turned to Ser Rodrik. "What did you see Ser?"

Ser Rodrik was a bit nervous as he began speaking, "Young Jon was always a good swordsman, quick, good footwork and a decent thrust. Will beat Greyjoy most of the time and maybe three in every ten he'll beat Lord Robb." Ned knew this and nodded for him to continue. "Then the day after you left I paired him with our youngest guard Mal. Fine sword, better than anyone Jon was used to sparring with. I thought it would do well to push and test him against someone with a few more years on him" Ser Rodrik shook his head. "Jon destroyed him, moved so fast and struck so precisely that poor Mal struggled with his duties only after ten minutes of sparring with young Jon. Then I had him pair up with Old Tomard. An experienced soldier, slow but strong as an aurochs and more importantly, disciplined. Jon struggled but after a few days, he was holding his own and then a few days later beating Tom regularly as well. Throughout the four weeks or so my Lord he worked his way up to Derrock. While Derrock isn't the best fighter Winterfell has, he is still a better than most with sword."

"He beat Mal, Tom, and Derrock?" Ned said, unable to hide the shock.

Ser Rodrick moved his head contemplating something, "Jon beat him a few times, held his own every time though. The day before you arrived I'd say they were close to even."

"You jest," Ned said without thinking.

Ser Rodrik's face held no humor, "No my Lord, Jon is a natural talent, far better than I ever supposed. He was quicker than I'd ever seen 'im and fierce as well, but more importantly, he adapted. Even when he went against me, I won every time but the boy scored a few minor hits and if I may be so bold that's no small feat." Ned was impressed, "That was why I got so angry this morning. He hasn't fought that poor in years."

Ned got up and paced around, a knot started to form in his stomach and he wasn't sure why. "Why would he pretend?" Ser Rodrik shook his head but maester Luwin looked away. "Maester you have an idea?"

"I would rather not say my lord in case I am wrong."

"Speak truth to me Maester."

"Very well." he steadied himself. "Young Jon is a bastard and he knows what, uh, some people, say about him." Anger coiled around the knot within Ned and maester Luwin continued with unease. "I think, young Jon believes if he exceeds above what is expected, he fears he will no longer be welcomed here." Ned had to look away to control his anger, and not lash out against his friend.

"That would never happen, I would never let that happen." Ned's tone was harsh and louder than he intended.

"I know my Lord" the maester muttered, "But does young Jon?"

The knot uncoiled so quickly that air in his chest left with it. "Of course," He said, but he wasn't sure. Promise me, Ned. Ned moved so quickly the other two jumped.

"Jory! Where is Jon?" Ned was shouting now.

"Not sure my Lord, I can have someone check."

"Do it now."

Ned found himself half an hour later riding to winter town. The first homes were fifteen hundred paces away so it took Ned some time to reach the heart of the town. Most of the homes were already abandoned for the summer and Ned was curious as to what Jon was up to. He approached the run-down building when he saw dark brown hair in a brown jerkin with a small dire wolf emblem. The young man was carrying two children no older than two years old while chasing a dozen younger children around, roaring like a monster from one of Bran's favorite stories. Some of the older children played along pretending to fight him off. After half a minute he was wrestled to the ground and Ned saw Jon smiling, then laughing loudly. The knot returned as he realized he hadn't witnessed Jon laugh like this since…... Ned couldn't remember. An older woman gave a startled gasp when she saw Ned.

"Milord Stark!" she curtseyed with unease while shouting to the children to do the same.

Jon was on the ground and turned his head and his face lost color as he jumped to his feet. "Father!" Jon's yelled dripped with panic. "I..uh..what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." Jon's eyes widened. "Nothing bad I just needed to speak with you." Jon's face returned to normal although he still seemed to be missing his coloring. "Let's head back to godswood so we can speak alone."

They left and made their way to the godswood in silence. It took nearly half an hour and once in front of the heart tree, Ned sat down, though Jon continued to stand. Ned was staring at Jon and Jon was alternating between staring at the ground and the carved face of the weirwood. After a few uncomfortable minutes, Ned asked, "What were you doing at the orphanage?"

"Helping out," Jon whispered.

"Why?"

"They have only Sera" he looked up to Ned "She runs the place and she is getting up there in age. So I help when I can." Ned smiled.

"Ly-." Ned stopped and took a breath. "My sister used to do that a long time ago."

"Sera remembers her," Jon said. "She says she was a good person." Ned felt a prickle at the corner of his eyes. You can't Ned.

"She was wild and fierce," Ned wrung his hands together, "and she had a good heart," Ned said. "If she was still here she would have joined you down there."

"I wish I could have met her." Jon said, "It would be nice to have an aunt." Ned had to look away as he ran a hand across his eyes quickly. "Sorry, father! I didn't mean-

Ned put a hand up to stop him. "Its okay Jon, she would have loved you." Jon sat back down and there were another few minutes of silence.

Ned swallowed as he started the difficult part of the conversation. "I spoke to Maester Luwin and Ser Rodrik, '' Jon's pale face became so white he matched the weirwood tree behind him, and his son decided the ground was far more interesting than him. "Luwin says you started to show a real interest in trade and history." Ned raised his hand to forestall Jon as he pressed on, "and Ser Rodrik says you became a wonder with the sword, beating men many years your senior and moving as quickly as a Shadowcat." Jon traced the dirt around a rock with his boot, still refusing to meet Ned's eye.

Ned felt like he allowed enough time before he pushed on, "Why Jon? Why did you pretend to be less than you are?"

Jon was silent for a minute. "I'm a bastard."

Ned was nonplussed, "What does the-"?

"Father." Ned stared at him. It was a tone Jon had never used before. "I know what people say about me. I love Robb, father, and Arya and Rickon and Bran and even Sansa. I would never want to hurt them or be used to hurt them. I don't want to be accused of usurping Robb. I would never. Ever. Do that." Ned noticed tears in Jon's eyes and Ned started to understand but Jon continued. "I know if I am worse than Robb nobody would ever want me to lead, or take his place or say that I am doing what bastards do. He would be safe." Jon's voice wavered and he took a few breaths to compose himself. "this is how I can protect him, protect all of them. I only….I just….I just want to be part of the Starks." Jon's voice cracked as he said Stark and Jon was blinking away any tears that showed on his Stark-like face. Ned felt his eyes water. "But I will never be one, I am a Snow, I am a threat, so when I can, I will join the Night's Watch. It's the least I can do. The only thing I can do and still have some honor." Jon finished as he wiped his face and looked resolute. Ned was speechless, he sat there for a few minutes, failing to form the right response. What have I done? My son feels he needs to leave because he isn't welcome. He takes humiliation to protect his brother. No.

"No." Jon looked up "Jon, you are my son. Nothing will ever change that and I swear to you as long as I draw breath, you will be welcome here at Winterfell and treated like my family." Jon's tear-stained face was struggling to compose into a stoic face that mirrored Ned's own. "If you want to join the Night's Watch that is an honorable thing to do, but do not throw away your life so young unless you know what else can be offered."

Jon's face hardened and spoke with a hint of anger, "Where can a bastard find honor if not the Wall? If I am here people will think I am biding my time and nothing I do will change he-, their mind." Ned noticed the mistake.

Ned asked Jon quietly, "Who do you refer to Jon?" Jon shook his head. "Jon?" Jon remained silent. Ned simply stated. "Lady Catelyn?" Jon fought to keep his eyes still but failed as they widened. That was all the confirmation Ned needed.

"She, I mean Lady Stark is kind enough to let me stay," Jon said flatly.

"Jon, if you want to join the Watch you may." Jon lifted his face. "But not until you reach eighteen years old." Ned saw Jon's face slip into disappointment. "I want to make sure you know there is more for you in the North Jon. More for you in the world, but it will be your choice." Ned's voice became warmer and softer, "I want you to know, Jon looks at me, I want you to know that your life was not an accident, and your life should be filled with joy." Ned felt like some foolish poet, but continued, "If not joy, then at least true purpose, I promised this to your mother." Jon's head snapped up. "She loved you, Jon. Know that." Jon looked away. The part of him wanting to be a man and the other part still a child warring within him. Ned remembered what that was like. Ned walked over and put his hand on his shoulder, "You are a fine young man, she would have been proud of you." Jon's facade broke and he hugged Ned tight. Ned wrapped his arms around his boy.

Other lords would scoff at showing this much affection to their children, more so for a bastard, but Ned didn't care, not at that moment.

Jon eventually regained his composure but his eyes were a little red and puffy.

Ned then said, "There are still a few more things we need to talk about." Jon nodded. "Jon, you said you would do anything to protect Robb." Jon nodded again. "I am sorry to say you have failed in your brotherly duties." Jon looked bewildered. "Jon, right now Robb believes he is a far better warrior than he is and that will get him killed. I know how competitive he is and he could be much better if you pushed him to be better. Aside from the sword, you need to push each other's wits. Robb makes you a better at strategy, don't deny it, he is gifted in that sense but you can make him a better ruler, and holding back in anything will make it worse."

Jon looked down. "What if-

"I'll take care of it," Ned said. Nothing else needed to be said.

"I'm sorry Father."

Ned gave a small smile, "Don't hold back Jon, but I need to warn you, you have broken Robb's trust. " Jon scrunched his features together.

"What do you mean?" Jon's voice wavered.

"You didn't entrust Robb with who you really are, what you can really do. You lied to him, Jon." Ned said, his voice even. He needed to make sure Jon understood.

"But I never said-" Ned raised his hand to stop Jon.

"People can lie by their actions far more than their words." A pang of guilt shot through Ned as he finished saying this and Ned could tell Jon was not doing any better. Ned let out a larger sigh, "However I must take the blame for your actions this time though...we must both be better." Jon seemed confused by that last statement but Ned knew his explanation was not for Jon's ears. "Jon, I do not know how Robb will handle this broken trust, but I know, and so do you that this is for the best. Now run along." His son nodded once, solemn as ever, and turned to leave.

Jon started to walk away when Ned remembered, "Oh Jon!" Jon turned around. "You are coming with us to White Harbor." Jon's eyebrows raised a little and the corners of his mouth twitched, betraying his solemn demeanor. Jon thanked his father and left the godswood.

However, Ned stayed until he was sure he was alone. He then knelt in front of the heart tree and prayed for forgiveness.