Chapter 2

He slept fitfully. The bed was comfortable but it felt alien and he was plagued with dreams that he didn't understand. There were faces he didn't recognise, although he was sure he was supposed to, and an oddly familiar child followed him from one dream to the next.

He awoke out of sorts and reluctant to go downstairs and face Potter. He didn't know what the day ahead would bring but he was certain he'd be better off tucking his head under the duvet and staying there all day. It wasn't an option though, he knew that, and so he submitted to his fate.

He showered and dressed in the clothes he found in the wardrobe, pleased to find that his style hadn't altered greatly but clearly his budget had. He was hungry, having skipped dinner the night before, and so resolved the best course of action was to procure breakfast for himself.

He was disgusted with himself for being so cowardly but if he could have avoided Potter at any cost he would have done. He should have known he wouldn't be that lucky and, as he descended the staircase, he heard the man's voice floating down the hallway.

Hearing no other person, Severus had to assume Potter was on the phone, and, as he drew nearer to the living room, he saw that that was the case. The man had his back to him and Severus listened as he spoke.

"Is he ok? I mean is he – "

Someone on the other line said something and Potter sighed. "Great, thanks. I just…I don't know what to do for the best. He has to know but I don't know how to tell him. It's…it's too much. You know what he's like, how the two of them are together. I don't think he'll understand."

Potter listened to the response and Severus watched as he leant his head against the wall, holding the phone close to his ear.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. Tomorrow then, ok? You…you'll know what to say. Give him my love and give him a hug from me. Tell him I miss him."

Potter sounded sad and wistful, and Severus didn't know to whom he was speaking or who it was he speaking about. Either way it made him uncomfortable for reasons he couldn't fathom and he cleared his throat to alert Potter to his presence.

Potter jumped and turned around, still holding the phone to his ear. "Merlin, you're like a fucking cat," he breathed. "Mm? Oh no, not you, Ron. I – never mind, I'll talk to you later."

He hung up the phone and said, "You haven't gone sneaking around in a long time."

"I wasn't sneaking," Severus said defensively. "I simply don't see the point in thundering about like a hippogriff."

Potter snorted and said, "God you sound like your old self, your old, old self."

"Am I so very different these days?" Severus asked with a sneer.

"You'd be surprised," Potter answered with a sigh. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"No thank you. I have very little appetite at the moment," he replied, suddenly feeling that food would turn to ash in his stomach. "What did Mr Weasley want?"

Potter's eyes darted back to the phone and his tongue swiped across his bottom lip. "Um…just checking in. Nothing to worry about."

Severus knew he was lying but he wasn't interested enough to press the matter. Silence hung between them, awkward and uncomfortable, and it was clear that Potter had no clue what to say to him. There, at least, they were as one.

"So," Potter said, tapping his hands on the top of his thighs, "I'll be organising things today. Will you – "

"I'm sure I'm more than capable of amusing myself, Potter."

Potter's eyes closed for a moment and a muscle in his jaw twitched. Severus watched with interest as the man composed himself, the impulsive reactions of his youth obviously tempered.

The green eyes opened again and Severus could see that Potter had taken the effort to calm himself.

"Look, I know this is hard for you but I'm asking you to please call me 'Harry'. For one thing my name's been 'Potter-Snape' for nearly ten years, as has yours," he added, giving Severus a surprising jolt.

"You must be joking," he said, unable to fathom integrating 'Potter' into his own name.

"I'm not," Potter said levelly. "Look please, if you could attempt to call me 'Harry' I'd be very grateful."

Severus gave a curt nod, unwilling to argue the point further. Potter gave him a tight smile and was about to speak further when the doorbell sounded.

"Who can that be?" Potter sighed, moving past Severus and off down the hallway.

He listened and heard Potter greet someone happily, followed by a female voice drifting towards him. It sounded vaguely familiar, but Severus couldn't identify it. Whoever it was, Potter sounded happy to see her.

"…didn't think you were meant to be back for a couple of weeks."

"I pulled a couple of strings. This was more important."

Potter re-appeared with the woman in tow, a tall redhead who was one of the most striking people Severus had ever seen. She was dressed in loose-fitting navy trousers and a white blouse, her manner confident and elegant.

"Severus, so good to see you," she said, stepping forward and pressing a light kiss to his cheek. She pulled back and it was only then that Severus realised he was looking at a very grown up version of Ginny Weasley.

"Gosh, have I really changed that much?" she asked with a grin.

"I should say so," he said, feeling disconcerted. "My mind remembers you as 16 and…somewhat different."

"Adulthood has been kind to me," she said with a rather wicked smile.

"Come sit down, Gin," Potter said, leading them into the sitting room.

Severus settled himself into the armchair while Ginny and Potter took a seat on the sofa. Ginny reached into the smart leather case she had with her and retrieved a file, placing it on her knees.

"I've taken over management of your case," she said. "I'll be dealing with you from now on."

"I don't – "

"Gin's a mind healer," Potter explained. "Or, should I say, the best mind healer. She's unrivalled."

"It's true," Ginny said with the certainty of a person who knew they were on solid ground. "I would have been handling your care from the start but I was out of the country."

"Is this really the best – "

"Severus," Ginny said, leaning forward on her knees. Severus tried not to bristle at the free use of his first name. "If you want to recover I'm your best chance, I promise you."

"You sound very certain."

"I am," she replied in a voice that brooked no argument. "Harry, I'll spend some time with Severus then I'll come and go through protocol with you."

Apparently fine with this dismissal, Potter got to his feet and said, "I'll be in the kitchen when you're done."

He gave Severus' shoulder a squeeze as he went and it was all Severus could do not to growl at him to keep his hands to himself.

Ginny set the file to one side then extracted her wand from the case. She transfigured a waste paper bin into a stool and wheeled it over to sit on it in front of Severus. She rolled up her sleeves and looked at Severus as though he were an intriguing puzzle.

She tapped her wand on her chin, her lips pursed slightly. Severus shifted uncomfortably, still slightly disbelieving that this was the young girl he had known.

"Do I have your permission to perform a set of diagnostics?" she asked and he nodded.

She extracted a small torch from her pocket and shone it in his eyes a variety of ways, then instructed him to follow her finger. She performed a series of spells, some that he recognised and some that he didn't. Her air of confidence was both comforting and unbalancing.

"Hm, interesting. I'd like to perform a semi-invasive test. It isn't Legilimency but it does involve a certain amount of intrusion into your mind."

Severus hesitated. He was loath to open his mind up to anyone, especially a former student, no matter how competent she was. He realised, though, that he had few options, and if anyone was going to go poking around in his head Ginny was probably his best option.

"Very well," he said stiffly.

"I promise I won't be looking at any memories or thoughts. It's much more abstract than that."

He nodded and Ginny performed an intricate swish of her wand and clearly intoned, "Tumultus Parva."

He felt an instant sense of peace, as though he had been placed in a trance. His stress and tension melted away and he found himself looking at a pretty clock on the mantlepiece. He watched the second hand tick gently around the clock face and found the rhythmic noise comforting.

"Oh you little bastard," came Ginny's voice and Severus found himself snapped back to his senses. Ginny looked triumphant but grim. "An exstirpo curse," she said. "There are dozens of them, all complex, all dark, but this one's been messed up."

"How can you tell?"

"An exstirpo is meant to completely eradicate memories, yours are still there, just intensely shrouded. They're retrievable but…not easily. What this tells us, of course, is that this was done to you deliberately."

"But who would want to? It's my understanding that the war is long since over."

"I couldn't say but I'll be referring it to Kingsley. The aurors had been alerted to the situation anyway; it seemed suspect."

Severus nodded. "Why didn't they spot this at the hospital?"

"With all due respect to my colleagues, they aren't as good as me."

"That I believe," Severus replied, more and more impressed with the young woman before him. "What does this mean for my recovery?"

"Well, it means that the memories are there, we just have to unearth them. Viewing Harry's memories will help from a non-magic point of view. We need to re-open old neural pathways as well as systematically dismantling the curse. The key is to extract it without causing further damage."

He couldn't help but feel grateful that she had taken over his case. He felt more confident than he would have done under someone twice her age and he was forgetting the teenager he had once known.

"I…thank you for coming. I appreciate it."

Her smile softened and she reached for his hand. "Severus, you and I are friends. Merlin…you taught me so much, you encouraged me to go into mind work. I absolutely adore you and I'll do everything in my power to help you."

Severus wasn't used to open declarations of affection for him, especially such effusive ones. He found it somehow easier to believe than Potter's supposed love for him and it was easier to accept in his troubled mind.

"I can't imagine how difficult this is," she said gently, removing her hand and sitting back. "Just…as stupid as it sounds…try to ignore your own mind."

"What do you mean?" he asked with a frown.

"Right now your brain is insisting it's 1997, halfway through Harry's 6th year and back in a time where everything is very different. Anything that contradicts that is going to send your brain into fight or flight mode to try and protect you but it's a false security."

"I understand that, but – "

"I know," Ginny said gently but firmly, "but Jesus, Sev you have to try and fight it. If you only knew how happy you were, how good your life is."

"Being married to Harry bloody Potter?" he asked with a derisive snort and Ginny's face hardened.

"Yes, being married to Harry bloody Potter," she repeated sternly, and Severus was eerily reminded of the woman's mother. "I know it's hard for you to accept at the moment but the two of you are deeply in love."

Severus couldn't stop his lip from curling in distaste and Ginny sighed. "Please just try and be open to it. You love him more than life itself."

"Oh and you know this how?" Severus asked, wishing he could intimidate her with a glare.

"You told me," she said simply.

"I hardly think so," Severus scoffed.

"I told you we were friends and I meant it. We often…confided in one another, as improbable as it sounds. We talked a lot about your relationship and you never held back when it came to your feelings. He was…is everything to you."

"It doesn't make sense," Severus said tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face. "How the hell did it happen?"

"That's not for me to tell you, and hopefully Harry's memories will help to shed some light on things. Just please…try not to fight it."

"Easier said than done."

"I know, but this isn't how things are going to be. I will find a solution, I promise. In the meantime just try and settle back into your life here, let Harry guide you and…don't shut him out."

"Very well, Miss Weasley," Severus said tightly and she smirked at him.

"It's Mrs Lupin, actually, but you usually call me 'Gin'."

"Lupin?" he echoed incredulously. "You're married to – "

"I am indeed. He's a lucky man, wouldn't you say?"

He was aware that he was gaping but he was too surprised to do much else. Ginny Weasley who, in his mind, was still a teenager, was married to Remus Lupin. Things were becoming more preposterous by the minute.

With a decisive nod, Ginny stood up and said, "I'm going to go through a couple of things with Harry. I'll be back to see you in a couple of days."

He nodded and she leant down to press a kiss to his cheek. He cleared his throat and said, "Goodbye…and thank you Miss…Ginny."

She smiled and patted his shoulder then left him as she went in search of Harry. He let out a long, slow sigh and let his head fall to his hands. He didn't know what to think, what to feel."

He was comforted by Ginny's confidence and felt a level of certainty now he was under her care but it didn't make the situation any easier to deal with. He understood the sense in her instruction not to fight things but it felt too strange to just accept it. Every instinct he had was telling him to flee for the hills.

He distracted himself with the television for an hour or so, vaguely remembering the muggle programmes he had sometimes watched. It was good to focus on something mindless, to let his mind drift to something utterly meaningless. He had only been out of his coma for a day and he was already thoroughly fed up.

Potter found him there around midday, watching some hideous panel show with loud and opinionated women who kept talking over one another.

"Merlin, you hate this show," Potter said with a laugh as he sat down on the sofa. "Or so you claim."

"I would quite welcome having my memory wiped of this trash," Severus replied, reaching for the remote and switching the TV off. "Has Miss…has Ginny left?"

"Yeah. She'll be back at the end of the week. She…suggested that I…give you the bare bones of things, just to fill in the blanks. There's also…something I need to tell you. I wasn't sure whether I should but Gin ok'd it and…there's really no getting around it."

"What is it?" Severus asked, immediately worried.

"I'm sorry if this comes as a shock to you and I've racked my brains as to how best to tell you but I'm just going to have to come out and say it."

The man paused and took a deep breath, and Severus could sense his nerves. "We…we have a son together," he finally said, his voice cracking.

Severus felt as though someone had injected ice into his veins. He understood the words but his brain couldn't process them. "That's…that's not possible."

"I know this is a lot to take in but it's true. He's seven and Ron and Drake are looking after him at the moment."

"A son?" Severus murmured, his blood crashing loudly in his ears.

Potter nodded. "He's the light of our lives," he said with a smile. "You two are very close."

Severus didn't know how much more he was supposed to take. Being married to Potter was insane enough but to learn that he was a father was more than he could compute. He had never considered having children and he couldn't believe he had been pushed into it.

"Is he…adopted?" he asked, hoping the answer was yes.

Potter's lips were tight as he shook his head. "He's ours. Yours and mine."

Severus swallowed hard and said, "You carried him?"

Potter nodded. "I did."

"How…there must have been…interventions, potions…?"

Potter's eyes fluttered and Severus could tell he was debating some inner conflict. "We don't have to talk about that now, it isn't important. I just needed to tell you because I want to bring him home and I didn't want to just spring it on you."

Severus' mouth was dry and he was starting to feel a dull ache behind his eyes. He had so many questions but he couldn't bring himself to ask them.

Potter got up and headed for the window-seat. "I put away all the photos before you came back. I didn't want to blind-side you."

He reached into the seat and pulled out a photo frame, pausing before he moved back over to Severus. He handed it to him and he took it reluctantly.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Severus looked down at the photograph in his hands. It depicted a sunny day at the beach; he and Potter were standing in front of the sea whilst a dark-haired child stood between them.

Severus' stomach flipped as he took in the irrefutable proof that he had a son. As he looked he could see that the boy had Potter's green eyes and his own pale skin. He had a soft, gentle smile and messy black hair that fell across his forehead.

Severus watched as the boy waved up at him whilst the photo versions of himself and Potter each laid a hand on the boy's shoulder as they smiled happily.

The wedding ring, the house, the assurances of others had all paled in his mind, but he couldn't deny the evidence of his own eyes. He had a life with Potter, a son for Merlin's sake, and he felt more and more that his world was tilting off its axis.

"What…what's his name?"

"Gabe," Potter answered. "Gabriel Arthur Potter-Snape."

"Arthur? After – "

"Yes," Potter said with a smile. "I wanted to name him after the only man who had ever been a father to me and who would be a grandfather to Gabe."

That answered his next question; at least Arthur had made it through the war safely and had continued to be a presence in Potter's life.

"Look, I know this is insane but you adore him and Gabe has never known anything but a loving father. I'm not asking you to pretend but if you can please just be gentle with him."

"What do you expect me to do? Treat him cruelly?" Severus asked angrily.

"No, of course not," Potter sighed. "I just…my main priority has to be him, I have to protect him, just the same as you'd do if our positions were reversed. Please try to not make yourself…distant from him."

"What makes you think – "

"Severus, I know you," Potter said, sounding tired. "You'll do anything to protect yourself, whether consciously or not. If you feel you need to push Gabe away to do that then you will. I'm asking you to please fight against it."

Severus didn't know what to say to this blatant analysis of his character, and it was too accurate to argue with. "Very well," he said stiffly. "I shall endeavour to do my best."

"Thank you. He's coming home tomorrow, I hope that gives you enough time to prepare."

Potter paused, his fingers tapping the top of his thigh again. "For what it's worth, you once told me that becoming a father was the proudest achievement of your life. Perhaps…perhaps you can hang on to that thought."

AN: I decided, as I'm ahead of my writing schedule, to give you two chapters - one today and one on Monday. For those of you in the UK, I know this isn't quite the bank holiday we all would have liked, but I hope you manage to enjoy yourselves nevertheless whilst maintaining social distancing. I hope everyone else is staying safe too.