Sullivan turned around, with an angry look, "You're here. I'm leaving, sir. I'm of no use here. There are other battalion chiefs you can call in. Please, I'm begging you. Let me be with my team."
Chief Dixon reluctantly nodded and with a sigh said, "Fine, be with your team. Oh, and Sullivan? We'll make sure we recover Pruitt Herrera and we'll cover anything Lieutenant Herrera needs to bury her father."
"That should be a given." Robert said with a snark, and began walking back to his wife, unsure of what would happen in the weeks to come...
After Robert Sullivan had gotten Chief Dixon's approval to leave the scene, he felt helpless. He had no idea what he was supposed to do.. With no idea, Robert continued to walk towards Andy, trying to think of what to say or what to do.
As he approached with hesitant steps, the team looked at him, with tear-stained faces and looks of longing. They had all just lost a very important man. Pruitt Herrera was something unique to everyone.
To many, he was their former Captain.
To many, he was their reason - the reason they became firefighters and put their lives on the line every day.
To this special group, he was their family.
To Robert, he was his father-in-law.
To Andy, he was "Captain", "Dad", and "Papi". He was her superhero. He was everything…
When Sullivan finally reached the group, he stopped and looked off into the distance, grieving with them all. No words could make this moment better, and no actions could relieve the group of their loss. They all knew that the recovery team would retrieve a body, not a victim, because when Pruitt fell, they all knew deep down in their guts that he was gone. There would be no heartbeat in the pile of ash, only charred flesh and bone.
It's hard to say how long the silence lasted, maybe minutes, potentially hours. Finally, with a sigh, Maya walked over after getting down from Ladder 19 and said the words they all had been waiting for:
"There's no point waiting here. It'll only make us feel worse. Let's grab our gear, take the trucks back to the station, and wait for news there."
Andy looked at Maya, her new Captain, the woman with the job that was supposed to be hers, her best friend. All Andy could feel was anger. Had Maya let her father ventilate the roof? Was she responsible?
Now was not the time, Andy told herself. With a sigh, she was the first to stand up, knowing that if she showed strength, her team would as well. She wasn't sure where she was supposed to go: should she ride back with the team in the ladder, in an Aid Car, or should she go with Robert in the truck he had arrived in?
She knew what she wanted: to ride back with her husband and at least get some type of comfort, where she didn't have to be strong, and where she could break down. She looked everywhere, and, finally, she caught Robert's eye.
Knowing what she needed and what she was silently pleading for, Sullivan ordered, "Herrera, ride in the truck with me. Bishop, swap places with Herrera and ride back on the engine. We'll meet you at the station."
The team didn't give it a second thought, and they willingly walked to the engine. When everyone's back was turned, and Robert and Andy had made it to the opposite side of the truck where no one could see, he embraced her. Nothing over the top, just trying to let her know he was Robert at the moment, not Chief Sullivan.
Andy leaned into the embrace, burying her face into his firm chest. This man was her safe place, and a safe place is what she needed at the moment. They stayed in this position for a few minutes, with Robert gently stroking her hair and whispering calming words. When they finally released one another, Robert looked at Andy for real this time.
As he looked at his beautiful wife, he saw how exhausted she looked; her eyes were half asleep, filled with unshed tears, and her cheeks were stained with ash and tear tracks. He caressed her face as soothingly as possible, planting a small kiss on her forehead. Finally, he let her go, knowing the team would be waiting at the station. He walked around to the other side of the truck and opened the door for Andy. If it had been any other time, she would have given him a lecture about chivalry and how opening a door for a woman doesn't prove anything. Instead, in this instance, she had no energy to fight and made her way into the truck. Robert made his way around, got into the driver's side, and immediately, he grabbed her hand, kissed it, and continued to hold it on the drive back. He knew she needed comfort, and this is the one way he knew he could provide it.
As he continued to drive in silence, he thought about the situation they were in. Andy almost lost her life, and, foolishly, he went in to try and save her. Looking back, he knew that he probably shouldn't have been so quick to jump in, but there was no way he could lose Andy, and in the moment, he couldn't think. He had already lost one wife; he couldn't lose another.
Sullivan glanced over at Andy, and, immediately, he knew she was about to break down. Her breaths were quickening, her cheeks were covered in tears, and she was holding in muffled sobs. They were halfway to the station; immediately, he pulled over, stopped the car, and pulled her into him. She tried to struggle, but he was quick to assure her.
"Andy, it's okay. Let it all out. I'm right here. No one else is here. No one else is watching. You can break down. I love you. Don't hide from me," he whispered into her ear, rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks.
She tried to respond, her words coming out in gasps: "Robert...my dad... my dad…my dad… he's dead."
His heart broke for her, and as his own tears filled his eyes, he tried to be as comforting as he could, "I know, but you're okay. We're okay. It's all okay. He did it for us, for our family. There was no other way he'd want to go."
She nodded, burying her head into his chest over the center console and calmed by his reassurance. After a few minutes, she sat back up, ready to go back to the station, feeling stronger after breaking down. She knew she could face the team and be the rock they needed. Robert started the car, and with a nod from Andy, they made their way back to the station.
When they arrived at the station, it was eerily quiet. The ladder was parked in the garage, not given the usual polishing after a call. Robert parked the truck inside and got out with Andy. They made it to the reception area, and they had still not heard any sign of life. Finally, as they walked towards the beanery, they saw everyone clustered around the table, sitting back in shocked silence. None of them expected this to happen; Pruitt wasn't even supposed to be at the call.
That's when Andy noticed them. Her father's poker friends, firefighter buddies, and practically her uncles, sat at the head of the table. In the center of the table was the radio, and that's when she realized: they had been there the whole time and had heard what had happened firsthand through the radio. Their buddy was dead. They threw her sad glances, and she smiled back, trying and succeeding to display some type of strength.
As she stood there and looked at the team, Robert walked to the storage room and grabbed two extra chairs. He sat them at the unoccupied head of the table, as close as possible. He may have set them too close for friends, especially since there were outsiders seated at the table, but this was another instance where he was more focused on Andy. His job wasn't important right now; he was going to comfort his wife, no matter what everyone thought. He guided Andy to the chair; no one questioned the interaction, as they were all lost in their thoughts and memories. Andy sat down, and with a sigh, closed her eyes, trying to wake up from this awful dream.
The group sat there for hours, and as the sun went down in the beanery, no one knew what to do. Not a single person wanted to make the move to leave first and so they all sat. Finally, Charlie Irwin and the other two retirees stood up and walked out hesitantly. None of the current team were entirely sure of what they were doing, until they heard the first bell.
At the sound of this, Andy opened her eyes. The situation was real - oh so real - and the bell was the proof. Andy didn't breathe, and Robert, knowing what the bells meant, grasped her hand. They were both stunned, paralyzed waiting for the next bell. Finally, it struck, and they let out a breath, continuing this pattern for the next eighteen dings - breathing in after a chime and breathing out at the next. At the nineteen bell, they were frozen, and as the twentieth hit, Andy tensed up, closed her eyes, and let the tears fall.
Robert squeezed her hand, and she opened her eyes in response. Andy examined the face of her husband, realizing he was crying too. His eyes were full of red, and his eyes couldn't stop watering. She squeezed his palm back weakly and let her eyes wander. First, they settled on the opposite head of the table, with Maya sitting up, eyes closed, a trail of wetness coming from her eyes. Next to Maya sat Jack; Jack stared back at Andy with helplessness, and when they made eye contact, he pointed his eyes to Sullivan, a question in his eyes: He's got you? You're good?
At this, Andy slightly nodded with a flash of a toothless smile, knowing what he was asking. Jack nodded back, relief in his eyes. On the right side of the table, Travis and Emmett were looking at each other, unreadable expressions on their faces, and Andy let them be. Emmett was likely confused at what was happening, as this was his first death that he had experienced on scene. Travis was probably thinking of his former husband and the situation he had been put in, listening to the bells. On the left, Ben, Dean, and Vic sat together, grief in their eyes.
When the three retired firefighters walked back in, she shifted her glance their way. They looked straight back with worried glances, hoping they had done the right thing, that the bells had helped everyone, including Andy, at this difficult time. They knew it helped themselves. Andy nodded at them and twitched the corners of her mouth.
"Thank you," she whispered, "He's home now, with… with Mom. Thank you."
The men nodded, picked up their cards and belongings, each planting a kiss on Andy's forehead, saying their goodbye, and walked out as a trio.
After this, Andy let go of Robert's hand, placed her palms on the table, and lifted herself to stand. It had been an exhausting shift, and the only thing she wanted to do was go to bed. She nodded at everyone, sadness on her face, and she began to walk out. Robert followed, standing up, and walking after her.
He caught up with her in the other room, grasped her hand, and led her to his car. Unsure of where she wanted to go, he looked over at her with a question in his eyes.
"Let's go home. I just want to go home," she said quietly in a broken voice. The only thing she could think of was a warm shower to wash the day away, and she wanted to sleep for an eternity...