A/N: Sorry if this seems short, its meant to be.

The last chapter for Remnants of a Shinobi got shredded, so I thought I'd return to me roots for a bit and get away from what's stressing me out as of late.

I love writing RWBY stuff, truly I do, but sometimes the fans can be a bit too...enthusiastic.

On that note, I've been cranking out updates every two days now, rather than one. What can I say? My health just can't handle constant updates, and it makes my stories suffer when I try to rush them out.

Writing something purely for entertainment's sake, you know? A story without a bunch of angry trolls and flamers howling for my head, telling me to die, hang myself, that sort of thing. Not many folks know of this story, so I should be safe from those here.

Of course I have a plan for this. A Hat In Time is just too wholesome to ignore...even if I'll never get to play the DLC on my Xbox. I ain't buying the game twice just to do that!

So, sit back, and enjoy the sweet, sugary, fluffy goodness.

Its short I know, but its also so very sweet.

Big Brother Naruto is best Naruto~!

"Boop."

"Stop that."

"Boop."

"Seriously, stop!"

...boop!"

"THIS MEANS WAR!"

~?

No Contract Here (Interlude)

Snatcher considered himself a simple man...erm, spirit.

Yes, a simple spirit with simple needs.

When you weren't bound by the traditional mortal coil you did what you could to pass the time, and he had entirely too much of it on his nonexistent hands. Didn't help that Subcon forest wasn't the liveliest of places even at the best of times beyond the odd visitor. Oh, he had no end of tricks and traps for those who wandered into his domain, but he didn't derive any pleasure from the traps themselves. Those were merely a means to an end. It was the contracts that he enjoyed, and those poor unlucky sods who wandered INTO said traps and were subsequently forced to sign them.

He reveled in their terrified expressions, the way they wriggled and writhed when they tried to decide.

And once they served their purpose, off came their heads. Good deal all around, that.

Why, you might even say it put a smile on his face!

So when not one, but two mooks stepped into one of his traps one lovely evening, he was positively ecstatic to ambush them.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS! He expected screams of terror, when he reared out of the ground and ambushed them. Horror at the very least. "What do we have here?! Two idiots for the price of one! Even better!"

The Kid In the Hat -he immediately dubbed her Hat Kid for short- looked absolutely harmless, but her companion set off alarms.

There was...something in that one's eye. Something he didn't like. Something that felt a little too like...him...but stronger.

He dismissed it out of 't like 'ol blondie over there could hurt him or anything. Nope. No threat at all!

"That's right!" he cackled, doubling over with barely contained glee. "You blew it! You totally screwed yourselves! Nobody enters my home and leaves in one piece!" And now came the bait. "Tell you what, though. Hang on a minute!" his already wide grin grew to sinister proportions, solely for dramatic effect. "You get to live! That's right! Aren't you two lucky?!"

...why were they smiling at him?

"Normally, I'd eat your soul and toss your bodies, but you two got lucky! You won the lottery, because I just happen to be missing a braindead servant!" Why the devil were they still smiling at him?! Bah. On with the old monologue. "That's right! The old one got himself killed, his head popped off, and now I need a new towel boy." he squinted at the smaller of the pair sitting on the blond's shoulders. "Or are you a girl? Eh, doesn't matter!" With a flick of his nonexistent wrist, he conjured a pair of contracts before them. "Tell you what! I've got two pieces of paper here! Don't worry about the details! I just need you to sign right here at the bottom."

Neither made any move to do so.

"Now, now, don't make this difficult. Sign the paper."

A blond brow rose. "Really, now? We're going to play that game?"

"Tough customer, eh?" Snatcher scoffed. "Doesn't matter. You're not going any-

Without word or warning, he found himself face with a golden fox the size of a mountain...with a maw to match. Had snatcher possessed a physical jaw, it would've been hanging wiiiiide open right about now. His mouth settled for gawking instead Oh. Well. He hadn't been expecting that. Least of the person sitting inside its skull with that kid still perched on his back like some kind of monkey. Now it was looking at him like he was lunch. Urk. Maybe a contract wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Oh, what the blue hell."

"Not quite," the beast grinned at him. "Try again."

Hat Kid waved at him merrily, holding the contract she'd been given. As the spirit looked on aghast, she began to doodle on the damn thing. On his contract! His property! Little runt! He would've paid more attention or told her a thing or two, but there was a giant freaking fox in his face.

...tell you what." Snatcher croaked, dabbing a bead of sweat from his brow as the creature loomed over him. "Why don't you two just run along down the road and we'll pretend this never happened. How does that sound? You never saw me, I never saw you."

A giant hand seized him by the scruff of his neck and hauled him toward those jaws.

"Nope. No, no, no." Naruto beamed. "You're not getting out of this that easily."

Hat Kid presented Snatcher with the now very much altered paper.

Said spirit glanced at the writing and began to balk.

"Tha-That's not how contracts work!"

"Who said you had a choice?"

Snatcher had a bad time.

A/N: Smug Hat Kid is best Hat kiD.

Felt nice to write a little interlude like this while the batteries recharge.

There, much better. Feels good to write something where I don't have to focus on ten thousand moving parts for a plot, you know?

Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure there ain't gonna be no romance in this story. Just consider Naruto a big brother of sorts.

This is meant to make you smile dear reader, and I truly hope I managed to accomplish that.

Aaaaaaaaand there we be! Still updating this despite the lack of DLC.

Why isn't it coming to consoles for crying out louuuuuuuud?!

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

Get ready to laugh.

(Preview)

"Why are you dancing so smugly?!"

The dancing intensified.

...best brother ever."

"Aw kid, you're making me blush."

She kicked at his shoulders and pulled his hair. "Onward, faithful steed!"

"I take it back."

R&R~! =D